This is simply an excuse for people to post their favorite villainous quotes. Whether comical, breathtaking, or simply illustrations of sheer coolness factor, villains seem to get a lot of fun lines. Here's some samples to get things started:
"Sacrificing minions - is there any problem it can't solve?"
--Xykon the lich, Order of the Stick
"Listen, like I told your captain, that orphanage attacked me. It was self-defense."
--Richard the warlock, Looking For Group
"Ye best start believin' in ghost stories, Miss Turner... You're in one!"
--Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
"You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...*dies*"
--Vizzini, The Princess Bride
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Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat
"I find your lack of faith . . . disturbing."
D. Vader "Star Wars: A New Hope"
"Dan, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago."
--Adrian Veidt, a/k/a Ozymandias, Watchmen
"Well for one thing, the moon has one third less gravity than your Earth. I don't know if you can understand that, but our vertical leap is beyond all measurement."
--Ignignokt, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
:blink:
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Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat
"No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."
-- Auric Goldfinger, "Goldfinger"
"Are you a God-fearing man, Senator? That is such a strange phrase. I've always thought of God as a teacher; a bringer of light, wisdom, and understanding. You see, I think what you really fear is me. Me and my kind. The Brotherhood of Mutants. Oh, it's not so surprising really. Mankind has always feared what it doesn't understand. Well, don't fear God, Senator, and certainly don't fear me. Not any more."
--Magneto, X-Men
"I've got my wedding to arrange, my country's five-hundreth aniverary to plan, my wife to murder and Guilder to blame for it; I'm swamped!"
--Prince Humperdinck, The Princess Bride
"I've been thinking of using my Joker Toxin on cattle... Jokerburgers! Talk about a Happy Meal..." (*maniacal laughter*)
--The Joker, Batman: The Animated Series
"Think of it, Batman. Never again to walk upon a summer's day, with the hot wind in your face, and a warm hand to hold. Oh, yes... I'd kill for that."
--Mr. Freeze, Batman: The Animated Series
Othar: "Well, no matter how much you torture me, I won't talk!"
Baron: "If only that were true."
Othar: "Er... So what is it you want to know?"
Baron: "Why you're a Spark. What it is that makes you different from other people."
Othar: "But I... I don't know!"
Baron: "Of course not. Neither do I. But I intend to find out."
Othar: "How?"
Baron: "I will destroy parts of your brain, until you are no longer a Spark."
Othar: "You can do that?"
Baron: "Oh, yes. Eventually."
Othar: "And... afterwards?"
Baron: "Ah, yes. That whole 'Quality of Life' question. I'm working very hard on that. I'm getting much better."
--Exchange between Othar Tryggvassen and Baron Wulfenbach, Girl Genius
Ahhh........excellent choices Viking.
"You know what happens to gate crashers? They have to match wits with, The Riddler!"
-The Riddler, Batman:TAS, not particularly original, but just so perfectly used.
Sinec we're talking Batman villains (or just animated ones in general):
"This is how I'll always remember you--- surrounded by winter, forever young, forever beautiful. Rest well, my love. The monster who took you from me will soon learn that revenge is a dish... Best served cold."
--Mr. Freeze
(Sidenote: this was the opener of the first episode I ever saw of B:TAS, and WHAT an episode too. I LOVED the delivery on this quote)
"That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world, and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one. Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out! So the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world shall be me!
--Mojo Jojo
"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Wile E. Coyote, genius. I am not selling anything nor am I working my way through college, so let's get down to basics, you are a rabbit and I am going to eat you for supper. Now don't try to get away, I am more muscular, more cunning, faster and larger than you are and I am a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten, so I'm going to give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers. "
--W. E. Coyote
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Okay, I've got a rule for ya. If you can get me to say, spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards, I'll go away until our dimension align again, in oh say, three months.
Superman: I can't even say your name forwards, how am I supposed to say it backwards?
Mr. Mxyzptlk: No, dolt! You have to get me to say it. Superman: Say what?
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Kltpzyxm! Boy, are you thick! [realization sinks in] Aw, nuts!
"I must admit that your strategies are strange and cunning...but mostly strange."
-- Gorrath "Megus XLR"
"Now I am free to destroy and conquer! Or conquer and destroy! Or just destroy! "
-Ender "Megus XLR"
"And for service below and behind the call of duty, it has been decreed that you shall be fired... FROM THE CATAPULT!!!
--Duke Ickthorne, Gummi Bears
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer."
*Pause*
"The benefits of a classical education."
- Hans Gruber, Die Hard
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those... moments will be lost in time, like tears...in rain. Time to die."
- Roy Batty, Blade Runner
"You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. It's simply incredible. Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I ever heard."
*Pause*
"How marvelous."
- Count Rugen (oblgatory Princess Bride quote)
Here are a handful of quotations from Batman that just sprang to mind:
"I've been dead once already; it's very liberating. You might think of it as...therapy."
--The Joker
"This town needs an enima!"
--The Joker
"I'm only laughing on the outside;
My smile is just skin deep.
If you could see inside, I'm really crying.
You might join me for a weep."
--The Joker
"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
--The Joker
"Never rub another man's rhubarb!"
--The Joker
"Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile."
--The Joker
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Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat
"You want to live like this? Abandoned and alone. Trapped in a world that you can see, and never touch. Old and infirm as you are, I'd trade a thousand years of my frozen existence for your worst day."
--Mr. Freeze, Batman: The Animated Series
"I don't have many friends. Never had the knack for it. But on the other hand, I don't have a single enemy. Not one! Isn't that nice?"
--Mr. Teatime, Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett
"From the Heart of Hell, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!"
--Capt. Ahab, Moby Dick, to be quoted by Khan in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Batman: "You... why did you do this?"
Mad Hatter: "You, of all people, have the gall to ask me that!? You ruined my life! I was willing to give you any life you wanted, just to keep you out of mine!"
--Batman: The Animated Series
"Who would know me well enough to bail me out? My mom doesn't even speak to me...and my parole officer is still in jail."
--Sid "The Squid," Batman: The Animated Series
you will join the dark side, or be destroyed. - the Emporor, Return of the Jedi
i'll trust ye to know what will happen should ye fail! - Davey Jones, Pirates, Dead Mans Chest
what a shame, she was so beutiful. - Magneto, X-Men 3
"Now you're thinking, 'Why me, O God?' The answer is, God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is never in France this time of year."
--Dorleac the jailer, film adaptation of The Count of Monte Cristo
"If I were creating the world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, Day One!"
--Evil, Time Bandits
"They shall all drown in lakes of blood. Now they will know why they shiver in the dark. Now they will learn why they fear the night."
--Thulsa Doom, Conan the Barbarian
Tell you what I do like though: A killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg - The Fifth Element
Rick: "I've told you everything I know!"
Darkman: "I know, Rick. I know you did. But let's pretend you didn't!"
(*followed by Darkman shoving Rick's head into oncoming traffic*)
--Darkman
"Now let's consider my points, one by one. One. I try not to let my anger get the better of me."
(*cuts off one of his victim's fingers*)
"Two. I don't always succeed."
(*cuts off another one of his victim's fingers*)
"Three. I've got seven more points."
--Durant, Darkman
(after all the other Avengers- past and present- have gradually disapeared over the course of the last several issues, the last four- Iron Man, Thor, the Wasp, and Hawkeye- manage to track down their missing teammates, and confront the mystery villain responsible- who is, of course, revealed in the final, full-page panal...)
Mystery villain: It is forutnate that his attention was focussed elsewhere. Otherwise, I would have been forced to continue aquiring Avengers in the same sporadic manner as before- in order to avoid detection! But now..."
Voice from off-panal: but now, fella, your bacon is about to be fried!
Mystery villain (startled, turning): Eh?!
Iron Man: You've got it, Hawkeye! This character may have most of the Avengers down and out- but there are still four of us alive and kicking!
Thor: Aya! And that doth be enow to bring e'en the basest villain cowering to his knees!
Mystery villain: "Cowering"? But my dear fellows, I'm absolutely delighted you're here!
Mystery villain, standing revealed in final, full-page panal): After all, you've just saved me the considerable bother of fetching you! For I am- The Collector! And you, my hapless friends, have just completed my collection! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
Next Issue Blurb: Next: Captured by the Collector!
- from Avengers vol. 1 number 173
I just finished watched my Stargate SG-1 DVDs, so I'm obligated to contribute some quotes from Baal, the villain with the most personality on the show.
Osrick: This is it! The cave entrance. The Sangraal is located within.
Mitchell: It's too bad you won't be coming with us.
Ba'al: I thought I made it clear: you need me.
Mitchell: I wasn't talking to you.
Ba'al: Oh. Well, ah, allow me to get out of your line of fire.
Let us know what you find. (Teal'c grabs him.) Or I could come too.
Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat if you catch my meaning.
You're so much more pleasant when you lack the ability to snap my neck with your thoughts.
Darkwing Duck Montage:
"I feel awful... stooping to such petty crimes. But you can't imagine how expensive thermonuclear warheads are these days."
-Negaduck
"At last, what I've always wanted! The ability to entertain others at cocktail parties!"
-Megavolt
"If dere's one t'ing I 'ate, it's excuses!... Make dat two t'ings I 'ate. Excuses, an' a seven-ten split!"
-Steelbeak
"At last! I'll have revenge on those who tormented me! Those who made me what I am! Wha... what am I anyway?"
-Megavolt
MegaVolt: I'll make him sizzle like spit on a griddle.
Quackerjack: Ooh. Aren't we sounding folksy.
"They called me crazy...they called me insane...THEY CALLED ME LOONEY!! And boy, were they right."
-Megavolt
"Ahh, A beautiful dove. The symbol of peace. How sweet. Perhaps I should feed it... To a CAT!"
-Negaduck
"I'll finally be rid of them MEDDLING KIDS AND THEIR NOSY DOG......Whoops. Wrong cartoon."
-Megavolt
Darkwing: You are NOT a well person.
Megavolt: And you're normal? 'I am the cold sore that stings your lip'... We are definitely talking DEMENTED!
" Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun! "
~ Top Dollar, The Crow (Movie)
" It seems our friend T-Bird won't be joining us this evening — on account of a slight case of death. "
~ Top Dollar, The Crow (Movie)
" I know you. I knew I knew you. But you can't be you, we put you through the window. There ain't no comin' back. This is the really real world, and there ain't no comin' back. THERE AIN'T NO COMING BACK! "
~ T-Bird, The Crow (Movie)
" Come to me, son of Jor-El! KNEEL before ZOD!! "
~ General Zod, Superman 2
"You just get that sucker to the designated place at the designated time, and I will gladly designate his [CENSORED]... for dismemberment! "
~Sho'nuff , The Last Dragon
Dark Helmet: So the combination is one, two, three, four, five. That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
President Skroob: What's the combination?
Sandurz: One, two, three, four, five.
President Skroob: One, two, three, four, five? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage!
~ Spaceballs
"Now that we know who you are... I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense, in the comics you know who the arch villain is going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero! And most time's they're friends, like you and me. I should've known way back when. You know why David? Because of the kids! They called me Mr. Glass. "
~Elijah Price [iUnbreakable[/i]
"Such heroic nonsense. "
~Megatron, Transformers : The Movie (1986)
" I would have waited an eternity for this. It's over, Prime. "
~Megatron, Transformers : The Movie (1986)
"So, Lone Starr, now you see that Evil will always triumph, because Good is dumb!"
--Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"The greatest joy in doing evil is to be rewarded by the sight of those who suffer its consequence!"
--Mephisto, Silver Surfer #3, published in 1968.
'Tis a tad difficult to say who is clearly the villain in this instance, but here we go:
"How dreadful! [...] I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect."
--Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray by O.W.
"The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes [...]"
--Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray by O.W.
"It is perfectly monstrous [...] the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
--Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray by O.W.
"Moderation is a fatal thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a feast."
--Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray by O.W.
"I like him [Lord Grotrian]. [...] A great many people don't, but I find him charming. He atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed by being always absolutely over-educated. He is a very modern type."
--Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray by O.W.
"Yesterday I cut an orchid, for my button-hole. It was a marvellous spotted thing, as effective as the seven deadly sins. In a thoughtless moment I asked one of the gardeners what it was called. He told me it was a fine specimen of Robinsoniana, or something dreadful of that kind. It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words. That is the reason I hate vulgar realism in literature. The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for."
--Lord Henry Wotton, The Picture of Dorian Gray by O.W.
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Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat
Mirror Master: So, we're the hardest men in town...
Waitress: What'll it be, boys?
Captain Boomerang: Arnold Palmer.
Trickster: Cherry Cola.
Mirror Master: Decaf soy latte.
Captain Cold: Milk. (everyone stares) My... ulcer's been acting up.
--Justice League Unlimited, Flash and Substance
*And for those who were unaware, an "Arnold Palmer" is a drink that is half lemonade, half iced tea.
The Beyonder: Stop! You cannot approach me!
Doom: Then approach me, coward—on your knees, if you have knees! Come! Cringe before your master! Grovel before Doom!
-The Secret Wars, as Doom siphons off the Beyonder's power.
I have the scan of this panel, it was my desktop for a long time.
Doom is the effing MAN.
Quote from: captainspud on November 13, 2007, 07:47:18 AM
The Beyonder: Stop! You cannot approach me!
Doom: Then approach me, coward—on your knees, if you have knees! Come! Cringe before your master! Grovel before Doom!
-The Secret Wars, as Doom siphons off the Beyonder's power.
I have the scan of this panel, it was my desktop for a long time.
Doom is the effing MAN.
Dr. Doom defeating the Beyonder was the
best part of the original Secret Wars series. That issue was the only one that was as good as the entire series should have been.
Of course, the rest of the series was still a lot better than the sequal...
"It's like my mom says, 'The weak are always trying to sabatoge the strong.'"
- Tracy Flick, Election
"Never send a human to do a machine's job"
- Agent Smith, The Matrix
And can't believe that I get to drop this one:
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."
- Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs
No list of villainy is complete without the Cannibal himself. :D
EC
"Think of all the things I've missed... The Black Plague, The Spanish Inquisition, The Brady Bunch Reunion!" Ivan Ooze- Power Rangers Move
"You shall fall to absolute despair. Your fighting spirit will mean nothing."- Antispiral Nia, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
"From now on I'll take his place and shroud the world in darkness" Dark Mephisto- Ultraman Nexus
"You're not seeing the BIG picture." Lex Luthor, Superman Returns
"These are just some tools I have lying around. As I use this*holds up a hammer*, I won't believe anything you say. When I reach this one *icepick*, I'll start to warm up to you. And when I use this one *pliers*, we shall be like brothers." The Captain to the stuttering soldier, Pan's Labyrinth
"Humans are nothing. You are cattle." Xilian Keiser, Godzilla Final Wars
"Greed is good." Gordon Gecko, Wall Street
"The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much." - Gordon Gecko, Wall Street
"Elliot Carver: Mr. Wallace, call the President. Tell him if he doesn't sign the bill lowering the cable rates, we will release the video of him with the cheerleader in the Chicago motel room.
Mr. Wallace: Inspired, sir.
Elliot Carver: And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.
Mr. Wallace: Consider him slimed. " Tomorrow Never Dies (and for the record, this is the sort of thing I'd probably do, only I would demand some cash up front as well.)
"Elliot Carver: The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success."
I looooooove money. I love money more than I love the things it can buy.
Does that surprise you?
Money. It don't care whether I'm good or not. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which god I pray to.
There are only three things in this world with that kind of unconditional acceptance.
Dogs...
...doughnuts...
...and money.
Only money is better. You know why?
Because it don't make you fat, and it don't poop all over the living-room floor.
There's only one thing I like better:
Other people's money.
--Larry the Liquidator, Other People's Money
"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil." - Anakin Skywalker