Author Topic: Into the Abyss  (Read 2494 times)

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Into the Abyss
« on: November 24, 2008, 10:18:33 PM »
I've decided to try my hand at writing once again, but this time, I'm trying something new. I intend to go back to Reality Break at some point in life, but only when I am confident that I have the skills to get it all done, and done well. With that said, I hope you enjoy the start of my new project, and that you may give me insight of how to improve my writing skills. Due to how the forum works, the name of the first part will be written in the post, but the rest of the names will be written in the Subjects.


“So, what is it this time?” He was sitting, laid back in the chair, smoking to his heart’s content. “Is it extortion? Assault?” He paused and took another puff of his cigar before speaking once more.“Homicide?” The man at the end of the room, with his sunglasses not blocking his steely gaze, answered in earnest.

“Correct, Mr.Sanders.”Walking up to Sander’s desk, he pulled out a few files and papers, and slammed them down upon reaching the desk. “5 victims, no suspects. We don’t know the murderer  or the murderer’s intent.” He paused. “Each of the victims were shot in the head. Their heads were then decapitated.” Mr.Sanders looked up from his favorite chair. “We have no lead what-so-ever and have no idea who did this.” He  stopped speaking for a moment, but soon began once more.

“Well?” Spoke the commissioner.

“ ’Well’ indeed.” Mr.Sanders took another puff of his cigar before going on. “Doesn’t seem like the usual crap we get around here. Haven’t seen something like this since, well, you know. Course, even this doesn’t really compare to that. You of all people should be fully aware of that. Right Mister Commissioner?” From the commissioner’s face, it seemed obvious that there was something he didn’t wish to recall.

“The top paper is your warrant. The rest is your information. Get to it.” He walked away, his every stride glowing with pride and diligence.“Raymond.” The Commissioner’s hand had just reached the handle before he had spoken.. “Don’t confuse one case with another. It already happened. El Finito.” He looked at Mr.Sanders, for a good long while, in an attempt to get the point across.

“Yes Commissioner.” At least, that’s what he said, and eyes can betray words. None the less, the Commissioner left the room leaving Raymond to his new assignment.

As Raymond loaded his gun, put on his trenchcoat, and got together his usual items, he couldn’t help not thinking back to that one case that was commonly referred to as the Delrado killings. The perpetrator, Rondo Delrado, began his criminal career as nothing more then a petty crook, engaging in activities such robberies,  larceny,  shoplifting  forgery, negligence, and crime of omission. However, he slowly began to move up the ladder, participating in embezzlement, extortion, conspiracy, assault, battery, malice, and even malpractice when he posed as doctor. The guy didn’t seem to really have the values that the common man tends to have, or at least they claim to have them.  However, he eventually began taking part in homicide, killing over 20 people including Joe Roberts, the best friend of the commissioner. Eventually he was caught and put on trial. The jury of the trail decided, of course, that he was guilty. He was given no chance of bail, and was to be given capital punishment. Since he’d be dead, that would also mean no chance of parole. However, Raymond had always felt that something never quite felt right about the whole case. The facts didn’t add up, not completely, and the evidence presented felt wrong, almost is if it were forged. In fact, the prosecutors and detectives on the case were all fired afterward for some reason.  Sanders then decided not to think more of it for now, as he had a different case to attend to. Still, he wondered…

It was 9:37 when Sanders arrived at the house. On the outside, it seemed like an ordinary house; that nothing had happened there. But he knew better. Sure enough, when he got inside the house, there were those all too familiar white lines. He checked around the place, searching for anything that could help him. After 10 minutes, he noticed a message in black spray-paint, on the bottom of a chair. Raymond couldn’t believe his eyes at what he saw; DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. Or maybe he could. After all, he had his doubts about whether the man the court got was the right man in the first place. Raymond was able to decipher the meaning of the sign. Dead men can’t tell tales if they can’t speak, and they can’t speak if the’re dead yet a tale had clearly been left behind, one of blood. Rondo wouldn’t have have been able to tell this tale though. He was dead and the only style of killing in this house was that of Rondo…or was it?He picked up his cell phone and called the commissioner.


“Commissioner. He’s back.”

“…You can’t be serious. Rondo was convicted, 6 months ago.”

“Look, I had just been speculating before, but I’m really starting to think that the evidence was forged. My guess is that they thought they found the perpetrator, but they couldn’t get all of the evidence they needed, so they forged it. They forged it because they didn’t get the person related to the evidence in the first place. Think about it. The prosecutor and the detectives working on the case were all fired afterward. The real perpetrator was never found.”

“Raymond, please, stop this nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense, sir. Just think about it. It all makes sense!”

“Raymond, stop! Just continue with the case at hand! That’s an order!”

“…Yes, Commissioner.” Raymond put away his phone, but he knew he was right. When he continued looking around, he noticed another message. “IF YOU READ THE FIRST MESSAGE, YOU’LL KNOW I’M BACK.  GO TO THE ABANDONED THEATER IF YOU WANT TO SAVE THE WOMEN’S LIFE, AND LEARN THE TRUTH.”

The theater was dark and dismal. It wasn’t tough to get into though, but that was because the chains had already been broken. After looking around a bit, a bright light shone on him, and on the stage, which was where someone stood. “So you’ve come.” The man spoke calmly not even showing a hint of a deranged smile. He wore a fine, tailored black suit, and had a regal beard. He wore a strange badge, but Raymond had no idea what it stood for, if anything at all. There was no girl.

“Where’s the girl?”

“I never brought a girl in the first place. It was a ruse.”

“So, why did you want someone here? I know you’re the real killer of that incident of long ago. Did you want to kill someone else? Add to your death count?”

“Heh. I simply wanted someone else to learn the truth.”

“The truth?”

“Yes, the truth. This world we live in is corrupt, full of people who simply want to achieve their own ends, and not to work for the good of humanity. Take for example, the insects who worked on that one case, the case I was never truly put on trial for. You might have figured out that the prosecutor and the detective working on the case created forged evidence, but you don’t know why.

“Why then?”

“To save face. They needed someone to blame this on and so they chose someone who, while having a shady past, wasn’t anywhere near my level. He and not me was put to the gasses.  And do you know who was behind it?”


“Why, your beloved commissioner.”


“His friend was killed, and thus he wanted vengeance on anyone who might have possibly fit the crime, which led to someone who never really killed anyone to be sent to the next life.”

“And how do you know all this?”

“All in time due. All in due time.”

“You know,” Raymond elegantly brought out his gun. “that still doesn’t change the fact that you’ve killed over 20 people.”

“True. But do you know why I killed them? They were all corrupt members of society; politicians, corporate tycoons, and more. The type who sicken society. There’s also more to it, but I’m not allowed to divulge into that particular matter.”

“Not allowed?”

“Well, no need to keep talking. You must be wanting to kill me, I’m sure. However, I must carry out my orders.”

“Your orders?”

“Yes. This was done for your benefit, which will result in benefiting us.” With that, the man got out his gun, put it to his head, and put his finger on the trigger.

“No you fool!” *BANG!* It was too late. Raymond walked over to the fallen man. He knelt closer to him, wondering about all he said. The commissioner, his orders, etc. However, the man’s eye’s suddenly opened, like lightning.

“And now for the finale.” The man, who’s fluids were still coming out of his brain, but slowly decreasing , aimed his gun at Raymond. In self defense, Raymond shot at the neck. After waiting one whole minute, the man did not get up again. Raymond sat there, for a good long while, before coming to a decision.


“Commissioner, I’ve come to a decision. I resign.”


“I’m sorry. I can’t explain. There’s things I need to do. I also know about your little secret."

“…So you’ve found out have you?”

“Good-bye, Commissioner.”

“Raymond? Raymond?...crap.”


She looked at the door. After thinking on it, she knocked..

“Come in.”

She opened the door, and upon entering noticed a man laid back in a chair. His legs were laid upon his desk. His cowboy hat covered his eyes. His cigar made the room smell awful. There was a bottle of bourbon beside the desk.

“Um, you’re a private investigator, right? I…have a problem?”

“I’m sure you do. Please, sit down.”

She closed the door behind her. It read “P.I. Raymond Sanders.”

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Chapter 1
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2008, 11:22:03 PM »
The time was 9:00 P.M. About time for his usual drink he thought. After all, he had earned it. Gaining 10,000,000 dollars in 5 years is no easy feat even if there are others in the world that have considerably more of the sort. He had vowed to be somebody in order to make the Sian linage known. So at 9:00 PM every night, Ryugei Sian had himself a drink to remind himself of the first drink he ever had, for he drank his first drink in the meeting that started his career.

As he began his first sip, he heard a noise come from the first floor. Putting his drink aside, he decided to take a look. As he walked down the long staircase, he thought about the reason for the noise. Could somebody be wanting to steal the money locked away in his vault? They wouldn’t be able to get it by going to the bank. He never trusted the government, and always thought that they might steal his money, especially when he became a wealthy man, so he always kept his money at home where he knew it would be safe. After all, his vault was equipped with the highest defense that he could afford. Still, he had to make sure. He hurried down the stairs, expecting to hear someone near the vault trying to break in, but instead, he was faced with a most unexpected surprise. Someone was waiting for him. Her hair was long, nearly touching the ground, and was silver like the moon. She wore a sleek dress that showed her legs and arms, and she wore a strange badge.

“Who are you?” Ryugei wanted to know why someone would break into the house only to stand in the middle of the living room.

“No need for me to tell you, Ryuegi. In time, you will know who I am.” Her voice sounded as enchanting as a swan’s, yet her eyes portrayed the mischievousness of a fox.

“What do you mean?”

“In time, it will all be clear. However, that will come at a much later date. Currently, we must make use of who you choose to be now. Have a good night’s sleep, ‘Mr.Sian'.


There it was again. That annoying knocking. He knew that in order for him to hold this profession, he’d need to get used to it, but it had been proving rather had to do. It wasn’t the knocking that bothered him though: it was the results of the knocking. He’d have to listen to yet another story, and help the teller of the story find their lost dog or cat, or search for a ring they lost at the mall, or maybe even search for their missing underwear at 7 in the morning. Still, since he no longer worked for the police he needed the money, and this may have been the closest thing he could get to his previous job. However, the underlying reason for changing his profession was probably that he wanted to find more information about that man, who was able to keep walking when his brains had been blown.  He wanted to find out who he was, who he worked for, and what he was after, and hoped that by undertaking cases independently, cases that are at least a bit less on-the-record, that he might be able to find something out about it all, but so far, he had come up with nothing.

“Come in.”  He was expecting yet another girl, woman, or old lady, and was considering kicking them out if that was the case, but it wasn’t. It was a woman for sure, but this one was different. Her blue outfit that showed the legs but covered her arms was elegant in its simplicity. Her hair flowed down to her waist, glowing in a purple light. It was dyed obviously, yet it looked impressive all the same. Perhaps the most intriguing thing about her was that she contained a presence that his previous clients lacked.

“Mr.Sanders, I assume.” He voice was as smooth as flowing water.

“Of course. After all, why would I be in an office that didn’t have my name right on the front of the door?”

“Right.  Anyways, I have a proposition for you, Mr.Sanders.

“Is this about finding a cat or dog, searching in the mall for a ring, or looking around for some underwear?”

She gave him a small smile. “Nothing like that, Mr.Sanders.”

“I’m listening.”

“Ever heard of a Ryugei Sien?”

“That guy who became a millionaire in 5 years? What about him?”

“Ryugei Sien was kidnapped last night, in his home. The police have yet to find out.”

“Why not?”

“Because there was absolutely no sign of a break-in.”

“None at all?”

“Not even a finger print.”

“And you know this becaaaaauuuuse…”

“Let’s just say I have my sources.”

“Do you have any proof?”

“No, which is why I’m willing to pay you 10,00 dollars on this occasion.”

“…Why me?”

She didn’t answer.

“Well?” Raymond was getting impatient.

“Let’s just say you caught my interest. So, is it a deal?”

“What am I supposed to start with?”

She took a key out of her pocket, and laid it on his desk. “Use this to open the door to his house. It’ll work.”

"Where did you get this?”

Once again, her lips were sealed.

“Fine. I’ll take the case. I need the money.”

“Thank you.”

He left the office right then and there, in an attempt to do something. Anything to get out into the world, besides getting food and cigarettes or going back home to sleep. Once he left, the women took a moment to look out the window, and took a look at him. “Raymond. I’m sorry, but in order for it to begin, you must suffer. You, and those who are fated to follow you.” She turned back around, titled her head downwards, slowly, and she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

The key actually worked. It wasn’t easy to get in there. He made sure that no-one saw him when he went in. The house was much grander on the inside then it looked on the outside with walls of marble, and paintings of various creatures from Japanese myths all across the walls. The staircase was a spiral one. Raymond looked around for a good long while, eventually deciding to give up after finding nothing, but as he prepared to leave, something caught his eye. It was rather tiny, and in the middle of the floor, but it was there. A little piece of paper, with the words “NOTE TO SELF: HEAD TO NORTHWEST BUILDING LABELED ‘CAININ CO.’. Of course! The old CAININ CO. building, abandoned years ago after the company went defunct. At least he knew something about them now; they liked to use places that had been abandoned, that is, if it was one of them that wrote the note, and if there was such an organization in the first place. Was it merely because no-one went there anymore, or for another reason? Whatever the case, it was probably in his best interests to head over there.

It was easy to get in, as the doors were wide open. He had his gun at the ready, preparing for a strike. A good 60 seconds or so passed. Thinking that it was safe to continue on, he headed inwards. Raymond thought that even if the kidnapper of Ryugei was just a petty crook, he or she wouldn’t want to be above surface, for that might give them a better chance at being found, which they probably didn't want. Thus, he headed towards the basement.

When he got there, it was pitch black. Despite that, he knew he wasn’t alone.

“So, they sent someone after all. Seems they thought they didn’t need to send one of their own.” The voice was distinctively female.

Raymond brought out his gun again. “Who is this?!”

“Do you really want to know? Then why don’t I show you?!”

The lights then turned on like flash, and in the center of the room, there stood a beautiful woman with silver hair. She had a rather devious smile on her face, and her eyes didn’t look very kind either. Above her, a man seemed to lay in a cage, hung to the ceiling by a chain. His clothes seemed to be missing.

“I’m guessing that’s Ryugei? Why did you kidnap him?”

“Why else? We needed him to undergo personal trauma. Being cooped up like a cage animal while seeing rather nasty images can do that to you.”


“To make him ready for what’s to come.”

“Damn cryptic messages! Can’t you guys be understandable?! I don’t get any of this bullcrap!

“Well, no matter. You see, regardless of who you may be, my orders are to capture all intruders, and I’ll have done that in just about 10 seconds.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve already injected you with my sleeping toxins.”

“Wha…aww crap….” He collapsed on the floor like the Titantic.

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll get to keep your clothes on.”

As he fell into a coma, he noticed that she had a badge on her. The same badge that that man wore. However, observations aren’t enough to stop sleep toxins.

…Huh? Where am I?
He awoke in what seemed to be another room. Blast it. She got me. She got me good. Well, no time to dwell on the past. Have to get out of here and find Ryugei. Thankfully, there was a piece of shrapnel laying around in the room, and he was able to use that to wedge the door open. He looked around the hallway. There seemed to be no-one around. He then tried to find Ryugei once more. After a while, he checked his watch. One hour had passed since he last checked it, which was right after he regained consciousness. “Damn! Just what is this place?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Pain. Pain was all he felt. What had hit him? He couldn’t tell since it had hit from the behind. What he could tell was that his right leg was no longer connected to his body, and neither was his right arm. He then saw someone walking around him, and he proceeded to kneel down to Raymond's front. He seemed to be...smiling. Not a kind smile, but one which can give you nightmares. All he could make out was his smile.“Oh, don’t worry. You won’t perish, yet. You see, I’m been waiting for you, like how a vulture waits for his meal to finally lie down and die! I’ve been given the task of your awakening. Oh sure, usually, I’m just a murdering homicidal physco. But long ago, before I became…this, I made a promise, one that I actually intend to keep. Now, answer me this: Do you want to live?”

Who would say no in this kind of situation? He nodded his head once.

“Very well then.” He saw a hideous, long fingernail, gnarled and twisted.


It had sunken into his right eye, but, suddenly, the pain went away. What was this feeling? He could feel his leg again. He move his arm. He had never felt better in his entire life. When he looked up, he noticed the mysterious stranger was gone. After looking down, he noticed two notable things beside him. First of all was an eye-patch. He wondered why that was there. However, there was another object, wrapped in red cloth. Open unveiling it, it appeared to be a mirror. But, something was wrong. His right eye; what had happened to his right eye?! It was there all right, but it looked horribly wrong. There was a swirling mix of blue and purple, like a hurricane, and in the center appeared to be a red dot. Whoever nearly killed him must have done that to him when he saved his life, which was another strange thing. But, he remembered that there was something he had to do. This would have to come later. Knowing that his eye would certainly attract unwanted attention, he put on the eye-patch. He then moved out again. Upon getting close to another stairwell, he noticed a naked human being lying on the floor. “Ryugei?...She must be done with him.” He carried Ryugei on his back, and hurried out of the building.

The woman with the purple hair was silent, seemingly in deep thought. However, silence can be broken, as it was when she heard someone slowly making their way up the stairs. “Sanders?”

He didn’t respond, but none-the-less made his way to his desk, with the unconscious Ryugei in tow. He laid him out on the floor.

“I see. So you saved him?

“Where the hell is my money?!”

“I understand.” She got the money, which he quickly snatched. “I noticed you’ve chosen a notable accessory. Nice eye-patch.”

He gave her a blazing glare, that she couldn’t possibly escape. “Why did you send me?! I went through hell back there! I couldn’t even save Ryugei! Who knows what they did to him! Not to mention I nearly got killed, and NOW," He took off his eye-patch, "I have this damn strange eye! WHY?!”

When he said 'why' that last time, it related to everything he had experienced in that abandoned building, and in that theater from back then. All she could say was “Good work. You can expect me to come back again.”

“That’s it?! That’s all you have to say?!”

After considering for a moment, she decided to answer about the eye. She could at least do him that much. “The eye.”


“That eye is more then strange. Learn how to use it.” She then quickly walked towards the door, with Ryugei on her back. “I’ll be taking him.

“WAIT! I don’t know anything! At least tell me your name.”

Her hand was on the door . She looked back towards him, giving the most emotional smile and look that he had ever received. She showed happiness, sorrow,sympathy, and more. “It’s Lorna.” With that said, she left.

Raymond didn’t know what to think, It had all happened so fast. He decided to relax for now. He opened his little fridge, got out a bourbon, and gulfed it down, with no pauses. It was good. Among all he just went through, this was good.


It was midnight now. Time to stop staring at the stars. He made sure his equipment was all there. Guns, armor, first aid; it all seemed to be present. Looking at the stars again, he smiled, closing his eyes. Tilting his head back down, he opened them again, and a rather devious smile came upon his face. His hands were each holding a gun, and his arms were crossed over his body. "All Flesh Is As Grass, And All The Glory of Man as The Flower of The Grass. Because the Grass Withers, and the Flower Fall Away. A--MEN!"

Offline Previsionary

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3563
Re: Into the Abyss
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2008, 12:05:16 PM »
MMK, KKho. Since no one else has seen fit to help you out, I'll give you some minor suggestions and feedback.

This story was generally more interesting and better laid out than your other story in my opinion. I could follow along with it much better and there weren't any major mistakes in it that would force me to reread a paragraph or sentence over and over, so you've improved there. You still have comma issues and you actually "overused" them. You need to cut a lot of them out to create a cleaner flow and to actually make the text look better.

Secondly, onomatopoeia is a tricky thing to work with, but it's used more often than people think. You don't set those off with asterisks. They're regular words that fit into the sentence.

For example: "The thoughts rattled around in my head like marbles."

"rattled" is an onomatopoeia in that sentence. Another example: "BOOM! The bomb exploded!"

That one is obvious right? So yeah, I think you get the point there. They're not set off from the rest of the text unless you're putting emphasis on it and then you'd either italicize, capitalize (use sparingly), or do some other normal indicator functions such as underlining or bolding.

Thirdly, you had a malapropism or two that you should work out ("then" instead of "than") and you switched tense in a few parts. Simple mistakes, easy fixes. Also, I don't know how far along you are in your editing process, but I'd suggest looking at a few of your sentences and simplifying (or rewriting) them so that they are easier to read.


Quote from: Prologue
He stopped for a pause.

as compared to:

He paused.


Quote from: Prologue
The man spoke calmly, and also looked calm at that, his face not even showing a hint of a deranged smile.

Since the man is speaking calmly, I automatically assume he is or looks calm. So, to me, your second use of "calm" was just redundant.

The man spoke calmly not even showing a hint of a deranged smile.

Says the same thing but with less words. Less is more sometimes.

That's all I got for you, so I hope that helps you out a bit. I didn't get to read the second portion as I ran out of time, so if no one responds in a few days, I'll try to tackle that as well if you want it. I will say that the ending of the prologue was a bit odd because you had a visible time shift in there. You need to indicate that whether it be with a new paragraph or a page break since you also switched POV to the female.

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Re: Into the Abyss
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2008, 12:13:04 AM »
That's all I got for you, so I hope that helps you out a bit. I didn't get to read the second portion as I ran out of time, so if no one responds in a few days, I'll try to tackle that as well if you want it. I will say that the ending of the prologue was a bit odd because you had a visible time shift in there. You need to indicate that whether it be with a new paragraph or a page break since you also switched POV to the female.

Yes, if no-one responds in a few days, you can try to tackle it.

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Chapter 2 Part 1
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2008, 12:32:42 AM »
An empty bottle lay to another, which lay to another, which lay to yet another. In total, there were 5 empty bottles of ‘Captain Morgan’ in a big clump next to a desk. There was only one bottle not entirely empty -at this moment anyway- as it was being chugged by a man in possession of  a cowboy hat, a rather dark eye-patch, and the need to drown one’s self in liquor. Of course, there was a  good reason. This man had been through a rather literally painful ordeal the other day. Getting your limbs cut off is probably considered by the general populace to not be a very entertaining experience, unless they’re actually into that sort of thing. The un-emptied bottle soon became a 6th emptied bottle, which was promptly slammed upon the floor. Surprisingly, he did not pass out. Rather, he was as sober as he had ever been. Liquor had never really affected him much. Still, he drank the stuff anyways. It just felt good.

It was about 6:00 P.M when he knocked.

“…Come in…”

Black robes, glasses; seemed like a priest alright. That was the problem; what would a priest be doing here?
“You are Mr.Sanders?”
“I am.”
“I am Dmitri Makenoff, and I must say that I am rather..astonished by the…decor you have here. 6 empty bottles, and an eye-patch on your right eye.”
“I’m be very grateful if you never mentioned that again.”
“The bottles?”
“The eye-patch.”
“Ah.” He put a rather warm smile on his face. “Well, everyone has his or her own secrets, don’t they?” He clapped his hands together, keeping them together after the clap. “I suppose I should get started. You see, Mr.Sanders, there is a problem.”
“Of course there is.”
“First though, you should know why I came to you. I was a friend of your former commissioner.”
Raymond just looked ahead in the man’s direction.
“At least I was before we went ahead with…well, a certain decision on his part that I found to be rather…disagreeable.”
“I already know the truth about Delrado killings, Mr.Makenoff.”
“You do, eh? Well, when me and the Commisoner still kept in touch, he told me that you were quite phenomenal in your work. Well, something has come up, and when I read the papers one morning, I saw your ad. So, I thought I’d come by and see if you’d be willing to help.”
“Help with what?”
“Well, you might find this rather hard to believe if I just tell you the gist, so let me begin from 2 days ago. Could I sit down?”

 Raymond stretched his arm outward to his side. “Go ahead.”

“Thank you.” He sat down in the chair. “2 days ago, a friend of mine and fellow priest, Rufus Macob, started talking of what I thought to be, well, nonsense at the time.”

“What kind of nonsense?”

“To put it bluntly, Mr.Sanders, vampires.”


“Yes, Vampires.”

“He was talking about them being…real?”

   “Yes, yes! I thought it rather loony myself. Said he saw one leap into an alleyway. Kept on going on about how we, as servers of God, should do something about it. Well, I may be a stern believer in the holy book, but vampires were never mentioned in it. I didn’t believe him one bit. Yesterday, however, my resistance to the belief of their existence wavered a bit. Back to days ago, when I said wasn’t buying it, he stormed off. The next day however, when he came back, he seemed...different. Like something was just off. He seemed out of it, like he had just taken a bourbon, yet there was only one time I ever saw him take a bourbon; the night before he was accepted as a priest. He was so nervous he actually took a drink. He’s never taken one since. Then, he went to lunch. Instead of taking his usual veggie pizza with garlic, he ordered a ‘meat lovers’. And then, when we left for the day, I noticed two small holes on his neck. The next day -which is today- he never came in, and I’d like to know why. Thing is, I’m too nervous to enter his apartment. So, I’d like you to investigate.. Don’t worry. In case you don’t believe me, I’m willing to pay as much money as you want, so long as you don’t request too much.So, what do you say?”

“…Regardless of whatever this cockamamie story is true or not, a man may indeed be missing. I accept. In this case, pay will come after, and I’ll determine the sum you owe depending on how things go, since you said you’ll pay as much I want.”

“Thank you, Mr.Sanders. I just hope that the stories, such Bram Stroker’s famous work, aren’t true.

He opened the door with the key that Dmitri had given off, and wandered inside. “Mr.Macob?...Mr.Macob?”

“Leave at once!”

He could hear a voice from further in.

“Mr.Macob, Dmitri is worried about you.”

“Tell him not to worry! It’s none of his concern.”

“Mr.Macob, if you don’t come out, then I’ll be forced to come in.

There was a silence for 5 seconds, before being interrupted once more.

“I suppose there’s no stopping you. Come in. But don’t come near me!”

Mr.Macob was in what seemed to be chains. “Mr.Macob, did someone chain you up?”

“Yes. Me.”

“Why on earth would you-“

“Take a good look at my eyes boy, and tell me what you see!”

Macob’s iris’s were as red as fresh blood, while his pupils were like that of a raptor, and were of a darker red then that of the iris’s.

“You see them now, don’t you boy? I have become a creature of the night. A vampire!”

“Nonsense. Perhaps you’re just suffering from sort of disorder-“

“Fool! Look at the bite marks on my neck!...Yes, you see them, don’t you? Now you know why I must be chained! To protect myself  from others!”

“Mr.Macob, you seem pretty sane to me when compared to others I know.”

“Boy, yesterday, I ate a whole ‘meat lover’s’ pizza! I’m a vegetarian! And what’s more, whenever I’m near people, I get the urge to bite them, and drink of their blood. I’m sane, yes, but unable to control myself! So I must be chained!”

This previously loony story was actually becoming a bit more plausible, especially since he himself, Raymond Sanders, had just recently gone through a pretty loony ordeal.

“Mr.Macob, I assume you where bit by a vampire? Where did you get bit?”

“I can’t tell you! You’ll become one of them too!”

“Mr.Macob, I came to help you because your friend agreed to give me as much money as I wanted.  You should at least apprieacte that he’s willing to give up some his life’s savings just for you. Well, I’m willing to accept only one-thousand dollars this time, small pay compared to my last job, if you give me the location of the vampires, if they actually exist.

He hesitated for a moment, before giving him the location. It was the same alleyway in which he saw the vampire go into. Apparently, Mr.Macob went into the alleyway to see if what he saw was really a vampire. He got bit by one of them, and it fled into the sewers, with the entrance it went into being located in that alleyway. “Thank you, Mr.Macob.”
“Don’t blame me if you become a blood sucker yourself!”

“Don’t worry about me. I've survived through plenty.”

   It was rather damp, this sewer. Damp and smelly. He wouldn’t be here if weren’t his rather traumatic experience the other day. He wanted to see if there were actually vampires and if so, if they were somehow related to the recent strange going-ons.  He walked through the sewer for a good while, before hearing the sound of other footsteps, which came from around the corner. With nowhere to hide, he brought out his gun. What came from around the edge looked..rather human. His skin was normal, and he didn’t seem crazy. What’s more, the man’s mouth was closed, meaning that Raymond couldn’t get a good look at his teeth, and he was wearing sunglasses. He was prepared to talk to him, to ask just what he was doing down there, to determine whether he was a vampire or not, when all of a sudden, a gunshot was heard, and the man dropped to the ground. Raymond spun around, too see a rather peculiar sight about 3 feet away.. The man who fired the gun, still holding it out, had red hair. He wore white pants, a white shirt, and a long white coat.

“Did you just shoot this man?”

The man in the white coat was silent.

“I’m asking if you shot him!”

His mouth remained shut.

“Look, I don’t know you if you know or not, or if you’ll believe me or not, but if you believe in vampires, well, I’m not exactly sure, but I’m almost certain they exist. Now, did you shoot this man because you thought he was a vampire?”

A rather genuine, cheerful smile came across the man’s face.. “So, you know about them do you? Yes, I killed that ‘man', as you call it. If it were indeed a man, well, he would still be alive. Unfortunately for it, that abomination was a vampire.”

“How do you know?!”

The smile vanished. “That information can’t be revealed to normal folks like yourself. I only told you that that thing was a vampire because it seems you know something about them yourself. However, anything else, alond with vampires, is deemed by the general population to be unreal, and thus-“

“If I were to show you something ‘unreal’ as you put it about me, would you be willing to tell me how he knew was a vampire and not a helpless man? Without shooting me of course.”

“Be my guest.”

Raymond took off his eye-patch revealing the purple and blue vortex with the red dot in the center. The man in the white coat stared at in awe. After 10 seconds, Raymond put the eye-patch back on.


“Well, I actually don’t anything about that except that it’s defiantly not what the general population classifies as real. It’s occult really. Like vampires.  When did you get it?”

“2 days ago.”

“And did you believe anything about all of those fantasy, sci-fi, and horror stories in all media beforehand?”

“No. Although now I’m beginning to.”

“Hm. It seems you have problems of your own.” The man in the white coat stood in thought for a moment before opening his lips again.  “I have a tracking device of sorts in my head which detects vampires. If you don’t believe me, just look at him. I shot his glasses. You can see his eyes.” Sure enough, it’s eyes were red. “Now though, you have just added more things to my to-do-list. We’ll talk after I’m done here. You’re welcome to come along.”

The two continued to travel together into the sewers, trying to see what was going on down in the muck, but at some point, a question was asked.

“So, mr…”

“Just call me Mr.R for now.”

“Mr.R then. You can call me Mr.S if that’s the case. Anyways, I was wondering. What is someone like you doing down here in this city. Sure, it’s quite large, but it’s not really a tourist attraction, if you get my drift.”

“And just what is your drift?”

“Well, it’s all just speculation at this point, but I’m guessing that something must be going down here for someone like yourself to come down here. You’re not a normal guy; I can tell by everything about you. Your style of dress, your subtle mannerisms, just about every detail. So why would someone like yourself come -

Mr.R’s arm suddenly sprang out, as to tell him not to move, and to stop talking.  He soon knew why. Something, or someone, was moving around the corner. Not just someone, but someones.  A devious smile, one to be feared, came across Mr.R’s face. His arms were crossed over his chest, with guns in hand. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. A—MEN!”

“Hey, wait a minute-“

When the beings came around, Mr.R suddenly began shooting at them all. It seemed strange that he never needed to reload. However, amidst all of the shooting, one of the beings managed to leap past the volley of shots, and was going right for Raymond. Raymond backed away, with the creature only getting the eye-patch. However, it hadn't stopped, and Mr.R was too busy shooting to notice it. It lunged for him again, and Raymond just stood there, looking straight at the beast, not knowing what to do. It seemed to be the end. All he could think was that he wanted the beast to just stop. And stopped it did. All of a sudden, the vampire halted in its tracks. It then started again, but Raymond tried the same thing, looking at the vampire while thinking stop, and it stopped once more. He tried to command it to go and attack the other vampires, but that didn’t work. As it was almost at his throat, he thought for the vampire to stop again. It did. It seemed that his eye indeed had a special ability, and it seemed to relate to the mind, but he didn’t know the extent of his new found abilities. Not knowing what else to do, he shot the monster. No, that wasn’t the right way to put it. Macob wasn’t a monster. Vampires had to had to have the same minds as human beings. Certain aspects were just amplified.

“Hey, Mr.S! There’s one more over here!”

“He rushed over to Mr.R, to find…a girl? She looked to be a young adult. She was huddled agaisnt the wall, quivering in fright. Upon a closer inspection, it seemed that there were two bitemarks on her neck, and that her eyes were red.”

“Ashes to ashes, dust to-“

“Hold it!”

“Huh? Why, Mr.s, are you showing compassion for one of them?”

“The first vampire I met was just like us, with the only difference being that he wasn’t human anymore, and that he had a craving for blood and meat.”

“Right, and that’s what makes them dangerous.”

“Take a good luck at her! She’s alone and afraid! Besides slight differences, she’s no different then you and me!”

“’Slight’ differences?

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Whatever. She’s a vampire, and all vampires must die.” His eyes were filled with hate.


As he commanded, Mr.R put his guns in his holsters, and arms laid at his sides. In a few moments, he recovered from the temporary shock. “What…what was that? What did you do to me?”

“Huh. It actually worked.”


“I think I was able to affect the state of your mind to a degree. The effect seems to strengthen if I say the command out loud.”

“Yeesh, look at what you’ve done! My tracker won’t work anymore! Of course, you can’t actually see it but-?”

“Your tracker’s broken?”

“Yes! All traces of vampires are lost, and I can’t remember things like that.”

“Well, anyways, you do realize that we now have an alternative, right?”

“An alternative?”

“I might be able to do what I did to you on her. Calm her bloodlust, at least temporarily.”

“…Have it your way.”

Raymond made his way over to the girl. Once he was there, she looked upon him. For anyone else, being too close would mean a death warrant, as she lunged straight for the throat. “Calm down.” Upon hearing that sentence, she fell to the ground, and a few seconds later, opened her eyes again after the drop to the earth.  “What…what was I doing?”

“No time to explain.  I can tell that you’re just scared, especially after what you must have been through. Becoming a different species is bound to be hard for anyone. Take a good look at my eye.” She did. “As you can see, I have problems of my own. I’m also going through some changes. Now, do you want to leave this place?” she slowly nodded her head. “I bet you’re tired. Sleep.” She did. He lifted her onto his back and went over to Mr.R. “You shoot her, you deal with me. I might even  try to have you shoot downwards in your boxers.”

Mr.R took a quick look downward at his pants, before reluctantly nodding.  They headed out the way they came, with Mr.R coming along because his tracker was broken, and he couldn’t weed out the wolfs from the cattle as easily as he used to.  Upon a short decision, ending in another threat of the eye, they went backt o Raymond’s office.   The Priest was still there. “Priest, your friend is fine. Leave a check for 1000 dollars on the desk, then go, and pretend you didn’t see anything.” So he left after writing out the check, not wanting to get involved in what was transpiring here. There were 2 small rooms besides the main area of the office, one of which had a bed in case he had to work overnight. He laid her on it. “Now, Mr.R-“

“Regal Regard.”

“Okay, Regal. I think it might be a good idea for you to explain what all of this is about.”

“Fine. Besides, there’s something I want to ask you.”


“Weeelllllll, it’s hard for me to ask this, but…can I work with you?”


“Well, my tracker’s not working for one thing, and, well, I guess the rest can wait since it’s part of the explanation that I intend to give you to, do to what's transpired as of late..”

“Let’s get to it then.”

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Chapter 2 Part 2
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2008, 12:33:30 AM »
They went into the second other room. There was a table for eating, and discussions if need be. They each had gotten a drink of their choice before beginning; Raymond with a Budweiser, and Regal with a glass of lemonade.

“Well, I suppose I should start.  To begin with, I am a member of the Catholic church.”

“What? You mean, with the pope?”

“Yes, the Catholic church with the pope. There’s no such thing as ‘Catholic 1’ and ‘Catholic 2’. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m from same the country as the Pope.”

“Of course.”

“So, what you know about the Catholic church is that they worship and praise God to their heart’s content, and that  their leader is the Pope. What you don’t know is that the Pope is just the man used for the press, sort of like in Great Britain where the Prime Minister has the real power, and the Queen is just a symbol overall. The real leader of the church, well, I can’t just give out that information, but he’s not the Pope for sure. The Church actually has 3 functions; the first is to worship and praise God, the second is to gain followers that worship and praise God, and the third is seeking out and destroying monsters, and other supernatural threats. Of course, that particular agenda extends to sub-functions, but the main agenda is kicking the crap out of beasties. Which is why I’m here. Apparently, a particular large quantity of, as of then, unidentified creatures, had been located in this rather large city. Just a heads up: the larger a city is, the more creatures it tends to attract.”

“Why send only one man?”

“Because of these.” He pulled out his guns.  “I’m not at liberty to say how I got them at this point, but you should have noticed by the lack of me reloading that these things have unlimited ammunition, which makes me a particularly strong agent.  What’s more, you can cover more area with guns then with melee weapons, making me a suitable choice for bringing down this area. Which brings me to what I said earlier. Because of you, my tracker is broken.”

“Can’t you go back to where you came from and repair yet?”

“Unfortunately, no.  They won’t let you return until you finish the mission, and even if I could go back with an unfinished job, my tracker isn’t some sort of machine. It’s embedded into my brain, and can't be fixed once broken. Otherwise, I’ll get brain damage. However, there other ways of getting at those abominations.  You’re a P.I, right? With the recent vampire surge, people are probably going to come to you with cases that relate to these incidents. Not all of them will be, but it’s the best choice for myself that I can come up with at this point. Furthermore, you’re the reason as to why I even asked you this and told you all of this in the first place. Your broke my tracker. I understand that you didn’t mean it, but it still happened. that was one of the reasons why I asked you if I could work with you, and in order for us to get to know each other better, which would probably be for the best, I told you rather important information. So, how about it?”

He thought about it, before coming to a decision. “Under no circumstances are you to shoot anyone that I tell you not shoot. And, you don’t even start to aim at that girl! Understand?”

“Yes sir. After-all, if I go against you, I’ll get fired, and then I won’t get any leads, nor any pay. So, how about you tell me something about yourself?”

He did. He told him all that had transpired since the day he met the mysterious man who blew his brains: about the mysterious women with the silver hair, about the man with the creepy smile, about how he got his eye, and that there may be an organization he knew nothing about.

“That's quite a story you have there, Mr.S.”

“Raymond Sanders.”

“Raymond then. Seems you’ve gotten yourself involved in something that even the Church isn’t aware of.”

“Not even the Church?”

“Believe it or not, we’ve never had a case in the entire history of the church where a man who wasn’t some sort of monster was able to keep standing after a gunshot to the head.  It seems that now I have another reason to stay here for a while.”

“Well, I’m going to go check on the girl. You should go explore the city. Get to know your surroundings better.”

“Will do.”

When he got to her room, she was still asleep. So, he kneeled down on the bed beside her, making sure to keep an eye on her face just in case. A few seconds later, her eyes opened in a flash, and her head went for his. “Calm down.” Her head lurched back, and she seemed calm again.

“Why? Why do I keep trying to…bite people?”

“Because you’re now a vampire. Let’s talk, but first…” he went to his desk and grabbed a packet, then proceeded to go back to the room.  He tossed it to her.

“Is this…blood?”

“It was originally a memento from an old case of mine. Probably one of the strangest I ever had, up ‘till now that is.”

“A memento?”

“You know, hospitals, blood transfusions, blood stealing crooks…it’s a rather weird story that I don’t want to get into just because of how bizarrely it all turned out. “

She stared at it for a bit.

“You should drink it.  Otherwise, you might become weak, or even die. They're so many vampire stories out there that I don’t really know which of, if any, are true.”

She hesitated for a moment, before ripping open the contents, and sucking it all dry.

“Now that, girl, is why you won’t able to go home for a while.”


“You heard me. Heck, maybe not even a while. Maybe forever for all I know. You see, in case you haven’t noticed, when blood is near you, no matter if it’s contained within someone, you sometimes go crazy and try to get at it like a wild animal.”

She looked downwards, and her frown drooped even further.
“However, there is a temporary solution.” Her eyes darted back to Raymond. “In case you haven’t noticed, I have the ability to calm people down. It’s just one ability of mine, and I don’t think I know the full extent of what I can do, but I can soothe your blood-lust. However, you’ll have to either remain cooped up in here, or with me, at all times. Otherwise, you’ll be cooped up in here entirely. Is that you want?”
She shook her head.

“Good. I won’t bother asking you how you became what you are now, as I bet you’ve had a rather traumatizing experience. What I will ask though, is that if you’re living with anyone, that you tell me where they are, so I can explain the situation to them.”

He knocked on the door 3 times. After a few seconds, it opened. “Who are you?” She was a fairly attractive woman, with black hair like her daughter.

“Ms.Winnygam? I have news about your daughter.”

“Clarice? She hasn’t been home since this morning. Just because she’s 18, she thinks she can go about her own business and do whatever she…well, you should probably come in.”

They sat down at the table near the window, where the blinds were closed.

So, you know why my daughter’s missing?”

“Ms.Winnygam, I’m going to try something out. Please, don’t be alarmed. He took off the eye-patch he had bought along the way to her house, and before she could say a word, she was overwhelmed with images. No, they more like memories. “Ms.Winnygam?”

“What..what did you-“

“Regardless of what I did, you know what’s happened to your daughter right?”

“Just get out!”


“Just go!”

So he did, but as his hand reached for the doorknob, he heard a voice from behind him.

“Please, take care of my daughter. For as long as need be. And if there's ever a way to cure her, do so and send her back to me!”

“Will do, Ms. Winnygam.”

He opened the door, and left.  Inside, she wept, like a mother mourning for her dead child.

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Chapter 3 Part 1
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2008, 09:16:48 PM »
As he approached the door to his office, he thought more about the mother of that girl. How sad she must be, he thought. After all, she was no longer truly alive, according to the stories. He had read Dracula and Hellsing, and had watched Dracula, Hellsing (the anime and OVA, not the movie), and even Nosferatu, the German version of Dracula. He thought he had a pretty good idea of how this stuff worked, although there were bound to some differences. His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a moan from his office. He listened for a bit before bursting in. What he saw was...rather appalling. The girl had passed out in the middle of the room, next to 5 bottles of wine. He picked up his cell phone. It was smart of him to give Regal his number and the spare cell phone after their discussion.

"Raymond? Something come up already?"

"Yes, actually."

"Say the word and I'm there!"



"The girl is drunk and passed out in the middle of my office. She drank all of the wine I was saving for my annual Christmas celebration!"

"Uh-huh. And just what do you do at this 'celebration'?

"I drink until I'm passed out. I need a lot of drinks since it takes 20 bottles or so to make me even begin to-

"Uh, shouldn't you cut back a bit?"

"Want me to come over there and have you think that you're a stripper?"

"5 bottles of wine coming right up!" The connection ended. He looked at the girl again. She was still out of it.  He sighed and scratched his neck. "Looks like we'll have to have a talk about self-restraint." He lifted her up and carried her to the bed. "Damn she's heavy! What does this girl eat?!" He was able to get her back to the bed, but not without wearing out his arms. "Wonder how big she was before the bite!" He just stood there a moment before deciding what to do next. "I suppose I'll go out for a walk." What else was there to do? After all, he had been unable to sleep ever since his eye had been changed. Thankfully, he didn't need to sleep. He hadn't slept for over 24 hours, yet he wasn't tired at all.  He used to think that the occult was complete and utter rubbish. Of course, this wasn't the case anymore. However, not all things of danger come from the mystical...

The night was very fine, despite the month being December. Not too warm, not too cold; just right. There wasn't much of a crowd either. Besides himself, there weren’t many people walking around at this hour. It was very...relieving. Unfortunately, that feeling of relief would come to pass, as across the street, he saw somebody passed out at a bar. He looked rather familiar. Red hair, white overcoat, white pants. No doubt about it. It was Regal. His was laid down right next to a bottle of Captain Morgan. "One bottle and you're out? Damn. I never even thought Catholics drank." He sighed and headed over to the bar, whereupon he went up the bartender. "One water please?"

"We do serve water. Coming right up."

Upon receiving the glass of water, he took, went with it over to Regal, and poured it all over him.

"ASHESTOASHESANDDUST...TO...dust?" He took a quick look around. "Raymond?" Raymond just crossed his arms and said "I didn't know holy men drink."

"Huh? OOOOHHH! OH! That. I'll repent later. I just wanted to wind down. That's all."

"If you say so, but if you ask me---what the hell..."

It was then that he arrived. He was a tall, well built man, and obviously of Japanese descent. He wore a black trench coat, and brown boots. The most impressive thing about him was probably what was on his back; Two large sheathes, each containing a kitana. He had a presence that few could match. 


“Right.” They and a few other attendees at the bar left, in an attempt to avoid trouble.  They went to the other side of the street, but Raymond and regal decided to watch the impressive figure for a moment.

“H-Hello, good sir,” said the bartender, “You have a very nice coat.”

The man did not reply.

“You seem to take care good of your…sheathes.”

His mouth was still devoid of sound.

“What will you be having?”


“What kind?”


“Okay. Beer. I’ll get you a beer. That’ll be-“ The bartender looked at the menu, deciding upon a Budweiser, but reduced the price to try to avoid problems.

“1.00”. The man with the sheathes reached into his pocket and took out a buck, handing it to the bartender. “Now, just wait a bit, and then you’ll have your drink, and then you can sit down anywhere you like.” He took his drink and sat down at the table in the most distant corner of the bar.

“Okay,” said Raymond. “Let’s go.”

They headed back towards the office, trying to get that man off their minds. It took until they had reached the door, but they had finally managed to get their minds hooked on other things. They agreed that the next order of business should be trying to get some information from the girl. Her name, how she became a vampire, etc. However, this would have to wait, for when they got through the door, they came upon a most unexpected site. The man from earlier was sitting in Raymond’s chair, with his boots laid upon it.
Raymond was befuddled. “How…how did you-“

“I came here after you left.”

“But…we…we saw you sitting at the bar!”

“You did. I saw you sitting at the bar as well.”

“You knew who we were?”

“No. Not then. However, now that you’ve come into this office, I think that you two run this office.’

“So, you came here because you have a problem?”

“That is correct.”

“Hmm…First, get off of my desk and sit on the chair in front of the desk.”

“Very well.” He got up and sat in the chair in front of the desk. Raymond sat in the chair behind the desk, while Regal stood in front of the wall opposing the desk’s right side.

“Now,” said Raymond. “You said you have a problem.”

“Yes,” said the Japanese, “I have a problem.”

Raymond leaned forward, put his elbows on the desk, put his hands together, interlocked his fingers, moved his put together hands beneath his lower lip and smiled. “Then feel free to explain it us.”

“First and foremost, there is something you should know.”

“What’s that?” said Regal.

“ I…am a member of the Yakuza.”

“…Please,” said Raymond “Let’s be serious about this.”

“I am.” Said the Japanese. Raymond and Regal looked at the man, whose gaze was tougher then ore. They then got out their guns and pointed them at the man.

“If you’re telling the truth,” said Raymond, “then why are you here?”

I expected this. He stood up, and so did Raymond. The man simply held out his arms at his sides, leaving his chest bare open. “Now, if you want to shoot, then shoot. Just know that the Yakuza have their ways of tracking the dead bodies of their organization.” There was an intense silence for a few seconds, and Eventually, Raymond and Regal put away their weapons. Raymond sat down again, and so did the man.

“So. Why are you here?”

“I am here because I…have doubts.”

“About your organization.”

“That’s correct. I will not tell you how I was informed of this, but there is something going on within the Yakuza. You might find this unbelievable, but..I believe they are involved with the occult!”

“That’s what this is about?” Said Regal, who gave a smile,“Here’s a heads-up; The two us do believe in the occult.”

“You do?”

"Yes,” said Raymond. “We’ve had some run-ins with it ourselves. Please, go on.”

“Very well. I am a member of the Yakuza, and as a member of a gang of sorts, I tend to be suspicious of who I work with. So when someone I actually trust was asked by one of my fellow workers to help with a project they were doing, I investigated. I went to the door that they went into when no one was around, I listened. The sounds I heard were…unnatural.”
The man in the cowboy hat and the man with red hair stared at the Japanese for a few seconds, until Raymond said “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“So, you hear a strange noise, and you expect that any Private Detective is going to help you because.”


“…Excuse me?”

“I will give to the two of you 10000 dollars if you help me in deciphering what’s going on.”

“And if we refuse?” said Regal.

“Then I slice your heads off to protect the Yakuza’s secrets.”
Raymond sat there for a moment, until saying “Well, you haven’t told us your whole story, and I’m thinking there might be a particular reason you chose us and not anyone else.”

“There is. Any Private Detective would do. I just chose one at random.”

“Hm…Well, since you’ll try to kill us if we refuse, we’ll come along anyways.”

“She comes too.”

“Eh?” both Raymond and Regal looked toward the bedroom door to notice a small opening. A red eye was peering out of it, but quickly disappeared.

“I could hear the door open. I knew she was listening the whole time. I can’t leave her alone since she knows what you know. Now, shall we proceed?”
There wasn’t much choice in the matter. Raymond, while not being in his best mood, gestured towards the girl to come along. Before they left, he remembered something rather important. “Hold on. I think I should try something first.  Yakuza member, please wait for us outside the door.” So he went through the door. Raymond then whipped off his eye-patch after getting a good distance away from the girl. A second passed, whereupon Raymond got on his kness. Regal ran over to him. “Hey, are you all right?”

“I’m…fine.” He was panting, but was able to get up still the same. He put the eye-patch back on. “I tried telling her, with my mind, ‘Calm your bloodlust for 5 hours.’ That’s more complicated then my previous commands, so my head was screaming for a bit, but I’m fine now, and the command actually worked.”

“How do you know?”

“I get some sort of feeling that lets me know that I was successful.”

“All right then. Let’s go.”

As they started walking towards the destination, the man gave the instructions. “When we get there, I’ll tell you what to do. Until then, look straight ahead and do not turn. If you’re going to talk, keep your voices down.”

They walked for several minutes, until Raymond got bored and decided to talk the girl for a bit. “I don’t know why I never asked you this before, but…what’s your name?”


“Serena. Nice name. So, how did you get to be…what you are now?”

“Well, first of all, you should know that before becoming what I am now, I was very…large.”

“How large?”

“400 pounds.”

“Wooftah. So, how did someone of your size get into the sewers?”

“If was after I was bit. I…don’t really want to talk about the circumstances of that right now, but due to what happened, I wound up in the sewers a vampire, and a lot more fit at that.”

“Hm. By the way, I noticed 5 bottles of wine missing from the refrigerator.”

“That was me. It looked so much like blood that I couldn’t resist. “

“I see.” He then turned to Regal, who currently looked like a man whom’s computer had crashed after he had just finished an 800 page novel, minus the open mouth. “Having anger control issues, are we?”

“Huh? Yeah, I suppose. We’ve been forced to cooperate with a member of the Yakuza? Do you know who those guys are?’

“A Japanese gang?”

“Forget it. You’ll see soon enough.”
That piqued Raymond’s interest. “You mean there’s more to the Yakuza then meets the eye?’

“If this guy’s telling the truth, you’ll soon see what the Yakuza’s really about with your own eyes. As for my own personal problems, there’s also the matter of that girl standing right next to you. Not only do I have to constantly keep myself in check around her, but I’m also nervous. Sure, your command may have worked, but I’m the cautious type.”

“Don’t worry. If she breaks, I can issue another command.”

“But what if you’re not there? What then?”

Raymond thought about it. There was indeed nothing he could do if he wasn’t near her. So he’d just have to stick around her. He couldn’t really see another option that didn’t involve killing her.

Offline kkhohoho

  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2129
Chapter 3 Part 2
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2008, 09:17:20 PM »
They arrived at what seemed to be a pawnshop. That Japanese spoke to his companions. “Regardless of what it seems like, this is the place. Do not say anything, and follow me.” They followed. At this point, they may have been able to beat him since they outnumbered him 3-1, but they were curious about this pawnshop. Upon entering, the Raymond and Serena were absolutely stunned. The building was much larger on the inside then it was on the inside, sort of like the TARDIS from ‘Doctor Who’.

Regal seemed to be unimpressed, and after seeing the other two in such awe, he crossed his arms. “Psshhh, this is embarrassing.” He shook his head.

The four headed inward. All around, the'ree people writing reports, practicing to shoot, talking about drugs, business deals, and other thins. Higher up was more of the same, with metal walkways spread about. They continued inward until the man stopped. In front of them was an elderly man, also of Japanese descent. The two of them talked, but of what no-one could guess, as they spoke in Japanese language. All they could get out of it was their Japanese client’s name was Makiro, that the elder man was called Sashiho, and the word ‘stupid.’ They all knew what baka meant in English. Makiro turned to the others. “This way.” They followed Makiro to a  room towards the left. In the center sat a well-tanned Japanese fellow behind a desk, smoking  a cigar. After a lengthy discussion between Makrio and the other Japanese man, Makiro turned back to the three. “Can any of you survive a blow to the head?”

Raymond and Serena were rather puzzled, but Regal calmly replied “If you’re considering the possibility that the occult just might be real, then consider that the girl might be able to regenerate, due to what she is.”

“Now, hold on! What’s going on?! Said Raymond.

“I can explain now, because we are in a secure location. That and the man at that desk doesn’t know one English word. For you three to get access where we need to go, you need to pose as Yakuza members.”

“The real Yakuza” said Regal “is different than the Yakuza you know. I’ll explain later. Anyways, each branch of the Yakuza has different rules for entry. Some are the same as others, but they vary. Here, it seems that one of us must be shot. When that’s done, the other two become members.”

“What is wrong with these people?!” said Raymond.

“I’m guessing it’s to show if we’re tough enough, right Makiro?”

“Correct.” Said Makiro.

“Now, Miss Sarena here is a vampire. While there are varying types of vampires, all of them are able to regenerate to a degree.  Right now, Sareena’s power is weak. It’ll grow in time, but as it is right now, it’ll actually be quite beneficial. If she’s shot in the head, she should regenerate completely in about 10 minutes., making it seem like she’s really dead, or as dead as one of her kind can get. We can then carry her in with us. They’ll think we’re going to cremate her body to erase any possible link she might have to them.”


“Raymond,” said Sareena, “It’s all-right. Somehow, I know I’ll be okay.”

“That’s right.” Said Regal, “Vampires have a rough estimation of their abilities. The estimation varies from ability to ability and from vampire type to vampire type, but I’m sure that Sareena here knows that she’ll survive a gunshot to the head. Is that all right with you, Raymond?”

He hesitated for a moment, before uttering the order. “Do it.”

Regal asked for Raymond’s gun. Regal said that his guns would prevent Sareena from regenerating, so he need Raymond’s gun. The bullets flew straight into her noggin. The other Japanese spoke again. “He says the two of you are now members of the Yakuza.” Said Makiro. “He also says that you do what you want with the dead girl.” Raymond picked up her body, and the three of them walked out of the room. They curved around a bend and head into a hallway that vacant expect for one lone guard. Makiro talked to them, and the four were let through. There was even more hallway, but eventually, they stood in front of a door. “This is where I heard the noise.” Raymond and Regal listened in. They heard a rather strange noise. A mixture of growls, baas', chirps, and other sounds.

“So,” said Raymond. “What did you need us for?”

“I can’t get in.”

Raymond was befuddled. “You couldn’t get in, so you called for a Private Investigator?”


“You think that we’re better lock picking then you are?”


“Fine. We’ll be dead if don’t comply, so I suppose we can try.”

“Leave it to me!” said Regal. He got out a majestic golden key from his left pocket. Upon entering it into the door, it unlocked.

“How long did you have that thing?” said Raymond.

“A looooong time. Why do you ask?”

“Forget it. Let’s go.”
At that point, the bullet came out of Sereena’s head, and her flesh healed up.

“Sareena!” said Regal “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Said Sareena, “You don’t need to worry about me.” She looked at the door. “I guess we got to where we were going while I was out.” She stood up, and the four entered the room.

Inside was a gruesome sight indeed. There many beasts of all kinds about, and not animals like tigers or bears, but strange mixtures of beasts. “This,” said Regal, “is part of what the real Yakuza is about.” The other 3 stood in amazement. However, after a few seconds, Makiro’s eyes drifted elsewhere.

“YASHIKO!” He ran over to a specimen on a nearby operating table. Most of her body had been changed by now, but her face was still recognizable female.

“MARIKO!” said Regal. Makiro stopped in his tracks before he could reach her. “I understand. You love her, don’t you? I can only guess the small details at this point, but you love her, and they took her to be experimented on. I’m guessing there’s a whole lot more that went on, but regardless, you can’t go over to her!”

“And why not?!”

“There’s probably some kind of trap, that’s why! You can’t go over there!”

“I must go to her!” Sure enough, he was trapped in some sort of force-field once he got near her.

“Well, well, well.” There was a force from seemly all around. “I expected someone to eventually try and intervene, but I never it expected it to be you Makiro. Certainly not the one who is called by us, when the ones of who speak English do, the ‘Hound dog of Hell. Alas, it seems that now you no longer deserve that title. In fact, I suspect that you no  longer deserved to bear that title when you and she first met. Oh, don’t worry. You might get out of here alive. You see, I am a scientist who loves his work, and I would very much like to see well how my creations serve against one with the power of the Hell! As the Americans say, ‘Good night, and good luck.’”

Makiro’s force-field shut off. The beasts started to move towards the group, besides Mariko. Raymond shouted “RUUUUUUNN!”. Regal shot at the beats until the other three had gone behind the door.Iit was then that Regal retreated himself. “When we get back,” said Raymond to Makiro, “you are going to tell me everything! Understand?” Makiro understood. “Good.” Raymond smiled.

It seemed that the rest of the Yakuza was unaware of what had gone on, allowing the four to walk out of the place and go back to the office. Regal stood against the back of the wall, while Sareena stood against the side of the wall. Raymond sat the down behind the desk, and Makiro sat down In the opposing the seat. Mr.Makiro, what the hell was that?! You nearly got us killed!”

“I suppose it would be best for me to explain fully?

“Yes. Yes it would.”

“Very well then. I am known in the Yakuza as…’The Hounddog of Hell.’”

“Yes, we get that.”

“That is partly because I draw my abilities from hell. That’s how I was able to run fast enough to get to your office before you.”

“Regal, before you even say ‘ash’, do not go crazy on Makiro. So. Drawing power from hell, eh? That doesn’t make you evil though. Sareena’s a vampire, yet she’s not cutting people up. Now, what else is there?”

“I actually was what you might call ‘a downright ‘SOB’. That was before. One year ago, I met a woman.”

“Ah, a women. Let me guess; this woman affected you to a degree where you developed some morals.”

“Yes. That is, what Americans might say, ‘In a nutshell.’

“I see. So that was your woman on the operating table?”

“Yes…it was.”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t go running off like that, especially when you might be working for me now.”

“WHAT?” said Regal.

“Regal,” said Raymond, “This man cannot go back to the Yakuza. The man that that voice belonged to is obviously a member of the Yakuza. If he went back there, he’d die. So, I have proposal. Makiro, if you work for me, we could help find out what happened to Mariko, and why. I don’t think you have anywhere else to go. It is it a deal?
He held out a hand. Mariko, after hesitating for 5 seconds, shook it. “It is a deal.”

“Yeesh, you people, hanging out with vampires and hellish people…” muttered Regal under his breath.