Why the world does not need superman (fan fiction role playing!)

[bearded]

SuperEthics
by
L. Luthor

     I speak on the concept of socio-ethics in a super world for your consideration.  I put forth, with his level of powers, that superman is insane, by human standards.  With his inhuman abilities, he is constantly aware of all the human fatalities in the world.  Then he picks and chooses who he wants to save, based on his own alien agenda.  That is, when he is not play-acting some kind of secret identity.
     Let's imagine a world, an alternate earth if you like, where he does save everyone.  Using his aberant powers, no one dies.  Ever.  This brings us to bio-ethics.  To say nothing of natural selection and evolution, population growth and standard of living would be unspeakable.  So, I will not speak on it.  I don't need to spell it out, do I?  What happens on a world where no one dies?
     In the real world, however, he only saves his personal friends and those who follow his ethos.  His most staunch supporters, the alien lovers, are high on his list.  Signal watches and shrill screams, 'Superman!  Save me!' 
     I do say, the alien does not think in human terms.  He is aware of human tradedy at all times and ignores it.  He sees it, smells it, and hears it.  And he smiles.  I challenge you to defend that!  I am called a criminal, for making some monies, and for daring to challenge his regime.  Lois Lane, have some pride in yourself in these modern times.  And Clark Kent?  I would knock you down myself, if I did not pride myself on not striking a man with glasses.
(out of character:  choose a role and respond!  let's make a story with different voices!)

[thalaw2]

     I will keep my response short and in terms that the common man can understand.   
     From an environmental point of view if there were no Superman then there would be no need for Superman. The world was moving along perfectly orderly before he came along.  It is my contention that the only reason the world needs Superman now is because Superman exists.
   Let us take for example the introduction of a foreign species into an ecosystem.  Should the foreign species thrive, then it will inevitably use up resources that will cause another to significantly drop in numbers or, in the worst, case slip into extinction. On the other hand should said foreign species be killed it has the potential to provide a meal to
   What we have in the case of Superman is a foreign species that was introduced to a new ecosystem, in this case the planet Earth, and thrives.  By now the environment has changed so drastically that it has come to depend on Superman, because if Superman were to leave the system checks and balances within it to necessitate his existence (super villains) would grow out of control.
   So it is that the world needs Superman now, because there is Superman.

Professor Hamilton
Star Labs

[docdelorean88]

Deer Lois Lane,

     My name is Billy Batson. I am in the Forth Grade. Mrs Mcminney says that Superman is a save e or(whatever that is).But, the rest of my class think he is a hero. He saves people all of the time and he usually gets alot of thank yous and that is what a hero should get. Superman is my hero, i think the world needs a hero like him. He helps make the city safe for  all kinds of people. But, i also think other heroes should get the thanks too.  Another one of my favorite heros is that guy Captain Marvel. He is really cool. My dream is to see Captain Marvel and Superman fight together one day.
      Without heroes like superman, and captain marvel, the world woold be a dangertous place. Things would happen like parents getting shot in an alley, or alien computers hurting people and brian washin them. As you can see in conclusion that is why i think the world needs Superman. Thankyou.
P.S. Lex Luthor is a doodoo head, poopie face who needs a good swirly. And why don't he have hair? okay, by.

[Gremlin]

Deer Lois Lane,

     My name is Billy Batson. I am in the Forth Grade. Mrs Mcminney says that Superman is a save e or(whatever that is).But, the rest of my class think he is a hero. He saves people all of the time and he usually gets alot of thank yous and that is what a hero should get. Superman is my hero, i think the world needs a hero like him. He helps make the city safe for  all kinds of people. But, i also think other heroes should get the thanks too.  Another one of my favorite heros is that guy Captain Marvel. He is really cool. My dream is to see Captain Marvel and Superman fight together one day.
      Without heroes like superman, and captain marvel, the world woold be a dangertous place. Things would happen like parents getting shot in an alley, or alien computers hurting people and brian washin them. As you can see in conclusion that is why i think the world needs Superman. Thankyou.
P.S. Lex Luthor is a doodoo head, poopie face who needs a good swirly. And why don't he have hair? okay, by.

HA!

[docdelorean88]

Thanks. I loved writing it.

[daglob]

If the world did not have Superman, someone would have to invent him.

Jerome Siegel and Joseph Schuster

Or someone a lot like him.

William Parker and Charles Clarence Beck

Or someone totally different.

Stan Lee and Jack Kirby

[Grand Al]

SuperEthics
by
L. Luthor

     Blahblablahblah, superman is insane, blahblahbla, alien agenda, blahblahblah natural selection and evolution, blahblahblah, alien lovers, blahblahbla, I've got a sad, un-natural old-man crush on Lois Lane, Blahblahblah sun crystal real estate scam.

Blah blah freaking blah. [MOD EDIT]blah[/MOD EDIT] man! Give it a rest already. Don't you get it yet? I'm here. That's it. End of story. I didn't ask to be sent here, this is just where the 'rents sent me, alright? Sorry I crashed your stupid "All earth-people" party, but it happened. Learn to deal. You're just mad because everybody knows you're a godless, amoral mass murderer and the worst elected official since that one time we elected Plas league chairman. We get it: your super smart and people should totally worship you and not me and daddy never hugged you, we know, damn! It's just sad, now. you aren't even trying anymore. Dude, i don't even get out of bed for your crimes anymore unless I see you on the tube in that powerarmor I like so much. Most times I just ask olson to google you and he lets me know if you're up to anything interesting. Do you hear that? YOU ONLY RATE A CURSORY WEB-SEARCH FROM JIM OLSON. And between you and me, even he's never really that impressed. You're a joke to me. you do realize that, right? I haven't taken you seriously since Superfriends. I don't know why you're even fascinated with me! Seriously, what is it? What, did I cost you a stock point? Are you still blaming me for the hair loss? The plane crash? That horrible aussie accent and harry knowles cut you had when you thought you'd tricked us by becoming "Lex Luthor jr"? Seriously, cue-ball, just let it go. I'm really strong, and i'm still kind of emotional about my kid brother. Don't push me. If the slander doesn't stop, you'll be hearing from my lawyers, or possibly even Batman. Have you met him? He's [MOD EDIT] blooming [/MOD EDIT] insane, and he's totally rich, and we've been bros for years. He'll come to your house and totally wreck your face up. I'm serious. leave me alone, stay away from my wife, and watch your stupid face.

Eat it old man. Sincerely, Kal-El.

p.s.: Stay away from my mom's house. That restraining order is still valid.

p.p.s: Metropolis U. football rules.

[bearded]

(ooc:  that was totally awesome grand al!  funny funny.)

[thalaw2]

Let's watch the language guys.

[Gremlin]

YOU ONLY RATE A CURSORY WEB-SEARCH FROM JIM OLSON.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Grand Al]

Let's watch the language guys.

My bad, guys! sorry about the language. Also the grammar. These stupid sun-crystal computers don't have grammar-check. Or keys. Or a mouse. To be honest with you, I don't know how they work. It's just sharp shards of glass and plastic. I usually just bring in my laptop from home, but somebody put kryptonite in the disk drive. Seriously, dude, stop it. You could have at least put it back together. And you stole my Pulitzer, which was lame, but you didn't have to Leave that upper-decker in the downstairs bathroom. I'm filing a police report and i'm pretty sure breaking and entering is a violation of one of your 7 paroles. See you in prison again, Baldie.

[bearded]

from the 'daily entertainment' by Cat Grant of the Daily Planet:
Isn't he just darling?  so, what has our little superman("don't call me superboy") been up to lately.  It would appear that his claim to copyright protection for the name Superman has fallen flat, and in fact, the name Superboy is actually owned by another family.  Even on his recent herospace blog, he is not using either Super name, but is trying to go by Kal-El, in what can only be described as a rant against Lex Luthor.
     Mr. Luthor has agreed to an interview, look for it in next issue!  As a teaser, LL has shared the stunning idea that he is actually Kon-El's father!  You heard it from me first.  Begs the question, who is his mother?

[Grand Al]

(O.O.C: I'm having an awesome time!)

Cat. Seriously. Come on! Anyway, I'm thinking that the simplest solution to this is to just sit down with Lex, talk openly about our differences and what sets us against one another, and then just let Captain Marvel decide who's right. And in answer to young mr. Freeman's letter: No. Not ever again. I doubt you've ever been punched by The Big Red Cheese, so let me describe it for you: Imagine having someone hit you with a house filled with trucks and magic.

[daglob]

Mr. Luthor is quite correct: we need no overgrown boyscouts (and girlscouts) dressing up in outrageously revealing costumes and interfering in the acivities of those of us who have true vison, who selflessly work hard to improve the lot of mankind. So-called "super-heroes" are merely psychological adolecents trying to show their betters how "smart" or "strong" or "important" they are, all the while showing their annoying lack of maturity and egregeous lack of competence. Recent efforts to register all these freaks and maladjusted malcontents was a step in the right direction. It should have been followed by incarceration and elimination extensive therapy. Perhaps they could be integrated into the new order in a few years.

But I have serious doubts about that.

Victor Von Doom
c/o The Latverian Embassy
New York, NY

[tommyboy]

Victor, Victor, Victor....

Let it go.
I'm sorry I got your WOW account shut down. I was a noob to the game and just thought I'd try playing on your laptop using your account for five minutes. Who knew they'd ban me, (or rather you), for rewriting their server code to optimize it?
Don't you think trying to take over the world and wearing a suit of armour is over-reacting a little?
There's still everquest.

Yours, still apologetically,
Reed Richards.
Baxter Building,
NYC

[Gremlin]

WoW was the only beautiful thing that Doom had in his life. The only place where he didn't have to be a freak, where his power was accepted. The only place he could go where no one judged him. Where he could be FREE. And you took that from him.

Damn you.

DAMN YOU REED RICHARDS!

-Doctor Victor von Doom

[tommyboy]

Oh, yeah, I'm the bad guy.
No mention of when you loaned my Babylon5 DVDs to MODOK, who ate them....or how you are constantly checking out my wife when you think I'm not looking, you and Namor. Don't think I haven't read your blogs...

Reed
The Negative zone

[Gremlin]

1) Doom had no way of knowing the creepy big-headed guy would eat them. Doom believed M.O.D.O.K. would enjoy a slightly more off-beat science fiction space opera. At least Doom did not give him your Farscape DVDs.

2) How can Doom look at a woman who is invisible? Doom does not do that. You speak foolishness.

3) Doom does not have a blog. He does not know what you're talking about.

[The Hitman]

or how you are constantly checking out my wife when you think I'm not looking, you and Namor.

Do no drag me into this, air- breather.

Signed,

Namor
King of Atlantis

[docdelorean88]

Doom this Doom that! Lose anymore words and you'll turn into Doomzaro! Trust me, you don't want to go there, as a villain with serious potential (except in your movie of course) a good vocabulary is the key! You don't see Doc Oc or Gobbie saying things like "Goblin am stealing girl Watson then her over bridge fall?" With that puppy dog eyed smile. Even Hammer Head talks better and he's not from around here. What type of an "accent" is that any how Hammy? Any who, the point is we heroes want villains who won't flake out after the first fight, or think there best attempt at a take over is a kryptonite mountain? By the way Lex, i still don't get that... and what is with you and this land thing anyhow? Lexestate, overly priced land at the only rates available since i destroyed all the rest? After 5 movies i think it is time to finally pull on the big boy power suit! But what do i know? My last movie had about as much continuity as the first six proposed plots for superman returns did( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman_(film_series)#Superman_V ) man those all sucked! Ha, ha, ha...ha...h...a... ahem. okay. sorry. Any who what i am saying is yeah, the world needs superman! Even with the sad excuses we have for villains these days, we just don't need a superman returns. So, take that Doom and Lex! Pull your selves and your script writes together.

Sarcastically,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man
If you don't know where i am from, you might be a red neck.

P.S. Doom, almost forgot. When you become Doomzaro, you won't need your mask anymore. Ya skin is gonna turn grey and wrinkly and your brain function will slow down, but it is alright. You will also have to get used to wearing purple. Hey, look at it this way. You don't like the wrinkles, walk yourself to the set of your hit show and give yourself a facelift. Ha ha. Reed, this guy gives you and Susan any more trouble just let me know. I go spider-monkey on his butox.




P.P.S. I am not usually this cocky. Oh, that's why! I just looked in the mirror i still got my emo costume on from Spiderman 3. Well, talk to you losers later im off to boogie on the street and grow out my bangs! See ya!

[docdelorean88]

No. Not ever again. I doubt you've ever been punched by The Big Red Cheese, so let me describe it for you: Imagine having someone hit you with a house filled with trucks and magic.

Ha! i love this, this i going to be my new catchphrase with you as the credited source of course.

[Carravaggio]

Best thread on FR at the moment. Thanks for a great laugh, all.

[tommyboy]

And another thing, Richards.
After my college accident where my noble visage became so horribly disfigured, my lot became one of the outcast, forever shunned by society, hidden from the morbidly curious gaze of the masses.
But you couldn't even let me have that could you?
I get my face disfigured and you have to go one better by getting the entire body of your stooge Grimm disfigured just to make me look bad. It's a good thing for him I've never lost a finger, or you'd have "accidentally" chopped off his arms and legs.

Doom.
Castle Doomstadt
Latveria (soon to be renamed Doomovia)

[Uncle Yuan]

Hey, Nancy-pants, you do not want to bring me into this!  Besides, even if I never let Stretcho live down that stupid rocket flight, I'm man enough to admit that what he did to me was a mistake.  Yeah, that's right Doom, ya heard me - I am twice the man you are!  And I got the big orange STONES to prove it!  And even if I did have no arms I could still kick yer tin-plated butt from the Baxter Building to Latveria.

Still, Vic, I gotta hand it to ya - ya ain't no quitter.  I mean, how many times have we handed ya yer head after some grand convoluted scheme a yours?  20?  50?  Heck, I've lost count.  A lot.  But yer still in the game, still trying to take over the world.  I admire that.  A 'course, such perseverance in the face of unrelenting failure does make a guy wonder how you can continue to claim to be the smartest man in the world.  But hey, what ever floats yer boat.

And hey, Web-head.  Game's on this Friday, so bring yer nickels.  And yer turn to bring the beer.

Benjamin J. Grimm

[tommyboy]

Doom would have cured you Grimm, as Richards promised to do in.....what was it? 1962?
I guess he's been too busy with getting married, building H.E.R.B.I.E. and locking your former allies in the Negative Zone. I'm sure he'll get to it any day now...
And you have never defeated Doom, I merely hypnotized you all into believing that you had.

[thalaw2]

I've had enough of this silly exchange.  As far as I'm concerned the only one not working for a world without Superman is the boyscout himself.  I bust my hump every night because I believe that one day the world will not need me.  That one day a young boy can go to the movies with his parents in the evening and return home without the threat that anything one would ever seek to harm them. 

On the other hand Kal-El is an alien from another planet who tries to earn his spot among humanity by "protecting it".  If it didn't need protecting he would be out of a job and the only one who doesn't want that is Kal-El himself.  He knows that the day he hangs up his cape and tights is the day he may have to look for another planet and he's afraid of it.

Lex Luthor, don't ever come to Gotham or I'll do what Kal-El hasn't done...put you out of business permanently and in a nice padded cell for the rest of your life!

Batman

[Gremlin]

Hey guys, can't we all just set our differences aside and go on a picnic or something?

-Aquaman

[The Hitman]

RE: Aquaman:

No.

Signed,

Namor
King of Atlantis

[Alaric]

Hulk thinks cape-man is stupid.

Hulk also thinks Doom, stretchy-man, and bald-head are stupid. They all like big words and using brains. Using brains is stupid.

Thing is fun to fight, though.

Hulk likes bat-eared grim-faced man with bat-cape. Hulk thinks he's funny. 

[Xenolith]

Superman, feh!  All my live I give to the heroic, and yet what do I get?  What kind of recognition for the little guy?  None, that is all.  None.  I would sell my soul to the devil for one percent of his power.  Think of what I could do for the people!  Think of how they would love me and support my criminal fighting.  But no, what I do in a week, or perhaps never, he does in a minute or less.  It has made people weak and lazy, if you ask me.  Why fix the dam?  Superman will use his x-ray beams to fix it.  Why form neighborhood watch?  Superman does it for you.  Superman...go away.

With all sincerity,
Defensor, Hero of Argentina