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Author Topic: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2  (Read 5158 times)

Offline BWPS

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Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« on: June 28, 2009, 09:13:14 PM »
EDIT (didn't want to bump cuz this thread probably needs to die):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3_EXxwDpq0&feature=related
This Linkin Park style remake of "The Touch" came from this movie's soundtrack apparently. It has nu-metal rapping in it. Loads.


It is without a doubt the worst movie ever made. There is not a single scene worth watching in this terrible terrible movie. It's not something where you read the reviews and say, "oh, I'm not expecting much, I'll just go for the action". There is maybe 10 minutes of robot fighting that would be good if it was coherent in a 3 hour movie. If Star Wars Episode II replaced every main character with a Jar-Jar Binks type, it would have been seven billion times better than this. Every scene was trying to be funny in a way that wouldn't have made ME laugh when I was 11, but maybe some of other 11 years old who are also very stupid. But I wouldn't even recommend this to a stupid 11 year old who I hated because this movie is worse than being stabbed many times. It was worse than Date/Epic/Disaster Movies put together. This movie was also extremely racist. How did they manage to make robots racist? If you're curious about how the movie can be so bad, don't be, you'll just end up crying and hating yourself for not believing me. It's not a matter of opinion, this movie shouldn't have been put into theaters and I now hate everyone involved. How can a sequel to a decent movie be so bad with all the same people involved. I'm depressed and there's a million more things to hate and zero to like.

Sorry for making another topic, the movie certainly doesn't deserve it but the other one had a weirdly specific title.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2009, 11:29:51 AM by BWPS »
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Offline JeyNyce

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2009, 11:48:30 PM »
So.....you didn't like it?


Is it true that......
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Offline BWPS

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2009, 12:45:04 AM »
Two spoilers, second more spoiling
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: June 29, 2009, 12:52:19 AM by BWPS »
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Offline Jakew

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2009, 01:50:53 AM »
Yeah, it is a fairly crap movie. The first one was good, IMO.

The Decepticon humping Megan Fox's leg was pretty bad, Skids & Mudflap were terrible (I totally understand why people are calling them "Pickaninny" characters), the continuity between films was rather poor (Optimus Prime gets owned by Megatron in the first film, in this film he can take on Megatron AND Starscream AND some other random Decepticon simultaneously), the final duel with The Fallen is extremely anti-climactic compared with the epic Megatron fight in the first film, etc.  :thumbdown:

Plus, Devastator has testicles (!), and Jetfire farts.  :doh:

The only good thing in this film was Optimus Prime ... he's just an iconic hero character. Unfortunately he's
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Out of the recent action blockbuster films I'd rank Transformers 2 around the bottom alongside Wolverine ... even Terminator Salvation was better than this. and Star Trek totally walks all over it.

Offline Tyveka

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2009, 02:33:42 AM »
And I actually liked it.  It was a great popcorn flick, plenty of robotic, transformation action and fighting.  Loved the Megan Fox scenes of course.  But overall, I enjoyed it.  Got about what I expected from a Michael Bay film.  And yes, though Prime has some issues throughout most of this movie, he is one of the best heroic, iconic characters ever.  Period.

I even thought that there was enough continuity between the original cartoons and this movie to make it enjoyable to a fanboy.

Ahh well, can't make everyone happy.

Of course, my wife agrees with the original poster.  But that is why I love her...
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Offline thanoson

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2009, 06:14:23 PM »
Ahh, Skids and Mudflap. My buddy has warned me about this. Being of african descent, I'm told I would be mortified. And yet, this film is killing at the box office. sigh. SO, is it final now? Is Michael Bay a hack?
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Offline marhawkman

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2009, 08:27:20 PM »
Hack?!?! It's an action flick! Story and characterization are NOT the most important parts. Un seriously.... How much "character depth" would you expect from a movie like "Die Hard"? Oh wait... probably too old of an example.....

Offline BentonGrey

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2009, 08:30:27 PM »
Actually, Die Hard is a pretty solid example of an action movie that DOES have a little bit of depth.  John McLane may not be Hamlet, but he isn't just a cardboard cut-out either.  What disgusts me is that this movie, which by all accounts is an affront to narrative as well as an affront to cinema, is making unholy amounts of money.
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Offline thanoson

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2009, 08:39:56 PM »
Lol. Way old enough to know Die Hard. The 1st movie was great because he was an ordinary shmuck cop, that was put into a incredible situation. For the most part of that movie, he was just very very lucky. But he had weaknesses too. Nothing like walking on broken glass barefoot. The other movies did seem a bit contrived that he happened to be there once again, to save the day.

Really, everybody knows Meagon Fox is hot. Why is it we have to be reminded she's hot by showing her 1st scene bending over in daisy dukes? Even a blind man could see that was blatant.
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Offline Trelau

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2009, 08:58:28 PM »
What disgusts me is that this movie, which by all accounts is an affront to narrative as well as an affront to cinema, is making unholy amounts of money.
Couldn't have said it better. Where are the Snatch, Way of the Gun and other cool action movie that were well written?
I'll probably download the making of though (i work in 3d/fx), as i didn't see the movie. yep, i just insulted a movie whithout seing it. But to be fair, I didn't even liked the first one, so why bother to watch a crappy follow-up to a crappy movie? Plus, i'd be damned if i ever lost another minute of my life to a Bay movie.

Offline BWPS

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2009, 03:11:23 AM »
Quote
It's an action flick!
Really? I could have sworn it was mostly trying and failing to be a comedy. I counted three major action scenes featuring robots. Two were okay, one was even good. The final one (which was actually long) was terrible.

Quote
Story and characterization are NOT the most important parts.
It doesn't work as a movie if those two things are both failing so hard while the action scenes aren't even 1/4th of the movie. Die Hard is a terrible example of something that doesn't place importance on characterization.

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Offline stumpy

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2009, 07:02:18 AM »
Yeah, I'd have to say that even action special effects movies need some character development and a plot that hangs together, otherwise it's just a long special effects demo broken up with slices of dialog and hot babes that don't seem to make much sense.

IMO, the Die Hard franchise is pretty decent on character development. I mean, John McClane has a distinctive personality that adds to the enjoyment of the movie. One can argue that that personality is as much Bruce Willis being Bruce Willis as it is writing, but regardless of where it came from, it's there. The later Die Hard movies, although I generally enjoyed them, were a little over the top for me. Not only is there the issue that this city cop just happening to be in the right place at the right time is such a stretch, but the character goes from being a likable-but-ordinary cop in the first movie to basically being a superhero in the last one.

BTW, a friend of mine went to see Transformers 2 as part of a work outing Friday. He said it was pretty awful. I read him part of the first post in this thread and he seemed to think BWPS was about right.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2009, 07:05:18 AM by stumpy »
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Offline Ares_God_of_War

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2009, 07:05:08 AM »
So is this movie really that bad? If you would have to compare its awefulness to any other horrible movie what would it be?
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Offline captmorgan72

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2009, 10:43:38 AM »
Interesting, from everything I have been reading this movie looks to be crap. That's why I was confused when my cousin informed me that I must see this movie. He was so impressed with it, telling me that it was far better than the first one. He must not be alone however as this movie is raking in the dough. I seen parts of it and what I saw looked like crap to me.

Offline Sevenforce

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2009, 12:23:23 PM »
So is this movie really that bad? If you would have to compare its awefulness to any other horrible movie what would it be?

An Uwe Boll movie.

Yes, it IS that bad. I felt like stabbing my brains until they leaked out my ears

Unfortunately, thats why-

What disgusts me is that this movie, which by all accounts is an affront to narrative as well as an affront to cinema, is making unholy amounts of money.

- is true. It's like watching a messy car wreck. You want to know what's going on, and its been touted as the 'friends' movie - everyone goes to 'that' movie on a Friday, which is how I got dragged along to it, despite wanting to see The Hangover (infinitely better movie, IMO). Don't get me wrong, T&A, giant robots, and giant robot fight scenes are what made me see the first one, but it didn't convince me a sequel would be any better.

And the first Die Hard is actually spectacular on characterization - John McClane is a cop trying to work it out with his wife, he's just an ordinary guy shoved into an extraordinary situation and tries to make the best of it. Who can't relate to that feeling?

Hell, after watching Die Hard, do you not feel like patting the guy on the back? Or taking him for a beer? Or like you know THE John McClane? It's incredibly subtle characterization, it creeps up on you without it being slapped in your face (i.e. someone reading a file to you onscreen about John McClane), which is what makes it such well written characterization.

You don't realize the backstory is being filled in subconsciously, and it makes you care about the character, whereas in contrast with Transformers...who cares? The characters aren't the ones from the other media that I actually care about, so, to me, they are what the movie depicts them as. Which is...basically, nothing. So, even if the entire cast were wiped out now, and the sequel to this one (oh, there will be ?_?) had an entirely new set of transformers...I'd not care.
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Offline BWPS

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2009, 03:06:45 PM »
So is this movie really that bad? If you would have to compare its awefulness to any other horrible movie what would it be?

An Uwe Boll movie.

Yes, it IS that bad. I felt like stabbing my brains until they leaked out my ears
Yes.
I was going to say a Friedberg and Seltzer movie, as this could have easily been called Transformers Movie, but that's a better comparison.

Other than the excessive swearing and non-subtle innuendo that sounds like it came from an 11 year old who thinks that is how he will fit in amongst the older kids throughout the movie and the constant wind that blows in every female character's hair:
10 terrible things that are actually in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (minor spoilers)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Another thing, I love alternative rock a lot, but I really don't see the need to play the first 10 seconds to 1 minute of 21 Guns by Green Day at the beginning of every other transition for every scene while he was at college. And that Linkin Park song sounds almost exactly like the last one, why even make it?
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Offline Reepicheep

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2009, 03:12:05 PM »
This film is incredible. A breakthrough in today's media.

I've never seen a film so brilliantly terrible!

Offline thanoson

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2009, 05:25:39 PM »
Wrecking ball testicles? Really? Jesus (deleted dialogue which goes on longer than normal) Christ on a shingle stick! Wait, Skids and Mudflap are watermelon colored? God(expletive, wow there's a lot of bad words going through my mind at the thought of this) in a handbasket straight to the pits of hell, so help me, Hallelluya!
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Offline lugaru

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2009, 05:40:51 PM »
I listened to the Slate spoiler special and yes, they confirmed those details when complaining about movie. They pointed out how not only are these horrible jokes, but they are part of the CGI which means they where planned way in advance and money was spent on bringing 'em to screen.

And seriosly they could have made a good joke about wrecking b alls, but I think in the movie the guy just say's something like "I am under his testicles".

No rush to watch this, even the first movie had me begging it would end so I could go sleep in my bed.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2009, 08:05:43 PM by lugaru »

Offline BentonGrey

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2009, 07:53:09 PM »
Wow, the more I hear about this thing, the more I am disgusted with our culture...specifically because it is still making money. :(
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Offline Kommando

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #20 on: June 30, 2009, 08:57:15 PM »
Well keep in mind that the franchise has been and always will be for one purpose and one purpose alone:  To sell toys.  During the Marvel comic run and cartoon series, how many characters dropped in for a single issue or episode simply because the toy existed?  That said, I will likely wait for this to come out on video before watching it.  I wan't all that impressed with the first one.  Well I was.  I thought it was a great 90 minute toy commercial.  And this one probably is a great toy commercial as well.

Offline catwhowalksbyhimself

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #21 on: June 30, 2009, 09:20:33 PM »
I enjoyed the first movie, but that list of things in the movie is pretty much enough to convince me never to even rent the thing. Too bad, I could have enjoyed a halfway decent, self-respecting sequel.
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Offline Silver Shocker

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #22 on: June 30, 2009, 09:53:20 PM »
Yeah, I saw the first one, and I wasn't super impressed with it. But I have no plans to see the new one in theatres. I might rent it when it comes out.
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Offline Carravaggio

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #23 on: June 30, 2009, 10:51:37 PM »
Thanks all, you've saved me a trip to the movies and about thirty dollars (tickets are about $15 bucks a pop here.) I didn't like the first one that much and was putting off seeing the sequel. Now I can put it off forever.
I only dread having some of my more low brow friends go on and on about how great a movie this was for the next six months, and berating me for not seeing it.
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Offline detourne_me

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #24 on: June 30, 2009, 11:40:43 PM »
It's another franchise where the game is MUCH better than the movie. Just like Wolverine, the Transformers video game actually has a better storyline, and NO lame jokes.

also,  Transformers 2 is pretty much the ONLY thing playing in Korean theaters right now. My co-teacher just told me a 10-screen theater near her house is playing transformers 2 on 8 screens, and the first one on the remaining two.

Ugh, actually I woke up this morning at 5:30 am with a bad dream about transformers... too.many.explosions.

Offline UnfluffyBunny

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #25 on: July 01, 2009, 12:37:22 AM »
well it was still better than the new terminator movie....

much like the x-men movies, take it with a pinch of salt and relax and it isnt hard to get some enjoyment out of it, look at it from any other view and you're gonna waste your time by being too critical watching it, and then waste your time ranting about having to watch it :P

I went to see it with the misses because the mother in law offered to babysit and it was a nice afternoon out, job done, nuff said.
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Offline Jakew

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #26 on: July 01, 2009, 12:46:05 AM »
I liked Terminator 4 a LOT more than this.

The main thing which ruined Transformers 2: Rise of The Fallen was the sense of humour ... it was incredibly crude plus unforgiveably dumb. Maybe that's how the studio views the film's male teen and nostalgic adult demographic? If they'd edited out all of tiresome attempts at "comedy", you'd have a serviceable movie.

"A blender transforms into a miniature robot with a relatively huge laser cannon between his legs that shoots out harmless laser blasts." I totally forgot about the robot with the laser gun wang. Yet another "WTF!" moment.

Offline Midnight

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #27 on: July 01, 2009, 02:17:00 AM »
Pass.

Offline Verfall

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #28 on: July 03, 2009, 07:53:49 AM »
Meh, I enjoyed it.

Went in knowing exactly what to expect. Got exactly that. Was worth 10 bucks just seeing the tree fight.

Perhaps my one beef was Soundwave not getting into the action.

To be honest I think people take a lot of these movies to seriously. It's freaking Transformers. Made gazillions back in the 80's, is making gazillions riding the nostalgia train in the 00's. What more could ya ask for, right?

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Offline Sevenforce

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Re: Please, please, don't go see Transformers 2
« Reply #29 on: July 03, 2009, 12:07:23 PM »
Saying things like ?It?s not supposed to be brilliant, just don't think too much and you'll enjoy it!?  doesn't really help. Sorry but, ?turn your brain off? and ?have fun? are directly contradictory. It's kind of insulting to suggest to someone that you need to be stupid to enjoy any activity, not just to yourself but to themselves as well.

I?m not going to give any movie a break and pretend I?m stupid just because it has expensive special FX, hot women, and is based on something that, while patently unrealistic, could be something so much better.

It?s sort of a sad statement about entertainment when movies of this quality do so well, and then things that are too 'thinky' are panned. It?s just giving studios reasons to abandon plot, acting, characterisation, and reasoning in favor of hot girls bending over, s*** blowing up, and crappy 'humor'.
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