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Author Topic: Ultimate Trio: The Script #3  (Read 2126 times)

Offline Previsionary

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Ultimate Trio: The Script #3
« on: July 28, 2009, 02:00:08 AM »
Some of you might remember a little mod I made last year that goes by the name of Ultimate Trio. If you don't know what it is or didn't get a chance to play, it was a mod that focused on three heroes--Iceman, Human Torch, and Deadpool--lost in the cracks of time thanks to Crisis. Who was behind this little scheme? Well, of course, a little, red-headed mastermind. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Anyway, I was chatting with Murs, and he suggested that maybe the mod should be turned into a script. Initially, I thought he was crazy, as I typically would, but over time, the itch got to me and I figured I had better scratch it. This brings us up-to-date. Today, I finished the second draft of the script, and I figured I'd post it here for anyone interested in reading or giving feedback on it. If you've played the mod, still give the script a try. The script diverges wildly from the mod concept... so much that I should probably give it a whole new name. Ugh, choices.

Quote from: Sample Page
PAGE 1

1) Large establishing shot of the X-mansion. As a point of reference, and a time marker, this storyline would take place before Messiah Complex during the X-men's rare downtime period. A more precise point would put this story between Carey's X-men #193-194, Fantastic Four #543-544, Cable and Deadpool #36-37, and just after OMD with Spider-man, so no one knows who he is. It's around noon outside, but other than that, nothing out of the ordinary. It might be cool to see some mutant kids outside playing/training/talking/showcasing their abilities.

CAPTION
THE X-MANSION, 12:01 P.M.

PAGE 2

1) Interior shot. ICEMAN, in civilian form, is talking to ROGUE about taking a break for the day. He's a bit overwhelmed.

CAPTION
BOBBY DRAKE (ICEMAN): MUTANT ABILITY OF CYROKINESIS. YOUNGEST ORIGINAL X-MAN.

ICEMAN
HEY, ROGUE. I HATE TO ASK BUT?

ROGUE

WHAT IS IT, BOBBY?

ICEMAN
OK, DON'T HATE ME, BUT MIND IF I TAKE A BREATHER? FOR LIKE A DAY?

2) Rogue is understanding, but annoyed with the request. Things haven't been easy on any of them lately, especially her.

CAPTION
ROGUE: POWER OF ABSORPTION. PRESENTLY IN A BAD MOOD.

ROGUE
BOBBY, I?

MYSTIQUE
(O.S.)
LET HIM GO, ROGUE.

3) Focus on Rogue but MYSTIQUE is off to her side. If you thought Rogue was annoyed before, it's much more visible now. The very voice of Mystique makes her want to do something drastic.

ROGUE
DO WHATEVER YA WANT, BOBBY. I DON'T CARE.

4) Rogue walks off and Iceman and Mystique are left alone. Iceman is happy he gets the day off but is worried about Rogue's well-being. So overall, he's a bit uneasy.

ICEMAN CAPTION
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THAT BIG BAD MYSTIQUE WOULD COME IN HANDY.

MYSTIQUE
YOU OWE ME ONE, ICEMAN.

5) Iceman smiles at Mystique uncertain about whether he should be impressed and happy, or unsure and scared for his well-being. Mystique just stands with her arms crossed not giving any real information away with her body language.

ICEMAN
YEAH? THANKS. THANKS A LOT.

6) Mystique walks away with a coy smile on her face. Iceman is more freaked out than he previously was.

MYSTIQUE
DON'T KEEP ME WAITING TOO LONG. YOU'LL FIND THAT I'M NOT VERY AGREEABLE WHEN I'M KEPT WAITING.

ICEMAN CAPTION

OH? KAY. CHALK ONE UP TO THE DRAKESTER'S CHARM.

Click me for more, please.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2010, 09:53:26 PM by Previsionary »
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.

Offline chuckles

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2009, 02:07:25 AM »
Hey Prem, Well done. I think you've really got the character interaction down.

I found it interesting, and funny. I'm not usually a big Deadpool fan, but he does crack me up. I have to admit that you chose the heroes well.
Keep it up. :thumbup:

Offline AfghanAnt

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2009, 04:42:06 PM »
Yah! Moddy stuff from Prev and I think this is my first post in this section ever!

Offline Previsionary

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2009, 10:16:37 PM »
Yah! Moddy stuff from Prev and I think this is my first post in this section ever!

Yay, for first postage! Yeah, you can consider this a mix of the mod + some obvious diversions, the most prominent being the inclusion of Mystique, Rogue, Thing, and Spider-man (though he was kinda in my original mod outline... just didn't work out). Though, trying to adhere so closely to Marvel's timeline (which was harder than I thought) made me cut Bob. I... was a sad panda after learning that fact.
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.

Offline Ares_God_of_War

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2009, 11:16:42 AM »
All I can say is "Hey you" better get to shine or else!  :angry:
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die."

Offline vamp

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2009, 10:27:19 PM »
I love Deadpool and Spidey's interaction. Now, where is the rest of it?  ;)

Offline Ares_God_of_War

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2009, 02:04:02 AM »
I really liked the part with the Velociraptors. For me I was able to actually visualise with ease what was going on. What did you all think?
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die."

Offline murs47

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2009, 02:44:41 PM »
This story needs more nudity. Naked dinosaurs just aren't enough.

Offline Previsionary

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2009, 06:37:53 PM »
This story needs more nudity. Naked dinosaurs just aren't enough.

Ugh, what a pig you are.

 *wonders how long Murs fantasized about naked dinos... gets disgusted a full second into said thought. Bans Murs from parties*
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.

Offline murs47

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2009, 11:42:28 PM »
*Bans Murs from parties*

I didn't want to go to your boring social events anyways! <_<

Offline Ares_God_of_War

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2009, 02:15:57 PM »
Yes you did! You said you were going to wear a lampshade!...and nothing else
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die."

Offline Previsionary

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2009, 06:47:22 PM »
Even more reason to have him banned... including from his own parties. Intense, right?
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.

Offline Previsionary

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Ultimate Trio: The Script #2
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2010, 02:56:22 AM »
Almost a year later, I finally got around to writing issue #2. Won't you all check it out and give me your feedback (praise, criticism, hatred)?

Quote from:  Ultimate Trio #2
PAGE 1

RECAP

Previously:

Johnny Storm, aka the Human Torch, is a bit in the dumps after the events of Civil War put his family through the wringer. When The Thing suggests he take some time out for himself, Johnny reluctantly accepts the offer and heads into the city. Of course, no hero can get the day off when they really deserve it. Not even Iceman, aka Bobby Drake, who finds himself teaming up with his old Fan4 buddy to battle off rampaging robots.

Meanwhile, Spider-man, aka Peter Parker, is out patrolling and protecting the city from crime. Well, that was the original plan. When whack job for hire, aka Deadpool, runs by chasing mechanical dinosaurs, Spidey decides to help out. Unfortunately, both "heroes" bite off more than they can chew, which results in Spidey being captured and Deadpool being knocked around the city. And the perpetrator behind this whole plot... Mindy, aka Console, a mysterious little girl who seems to have a lot up her eerie sleeves.

PAGE 2

1) Int. Murderworld - monitor room

Big panel. Open to a small, pale girl (MINDY) with 2 red pigtails dangling from the sides of her head. In front of her is her boss, her inspiration, ARCADE, hidden in his chair watching a monitor showing LIVE FEEDS of his captives. MISS LOCKE is behind Arcade looking over his shoulder and MR. CHAMBERS if off to the side, keeping to himself.

MINDY
WE?VE CONTAINED THEM ALL, SIR. EV?RYTHING?S GOING TO PLAN... >TEE-HEE<

ARCADE
AND WHAT OF THAT BLITHERING FOOL OF SCAR TISSUE?

MINDY
A GOOD PUNCH TO THE HEAD SENT THAT BUFFOON FLYIN? LIKE A BALLOON OV?R WATER!

ARCADE
GOOD! CAN YOU IMAGINE THE HORROR HE?D UNLEASH ON THIS LOONY BIN? IT?S UNFATHOMABLE! UNIMAGINABLE! UNTAMEABLE! EH--?

2) Arcade places his right hand under his chin, considering what could have been. A crazed smile stretches across his face as Mindy continues to admire him to the annoyance of Miss Locke.

ARCADE
AN ABSOLUTE LOSS OF POTENTIAL CHAOS!

3) Arcade smacks Mindy with a rolled up newspaper or alternatively tosses something at her head.

ARCADE
(burst)
YOU IDIOT!

4) Small [INSET] panel. Arcade returns to his content form, allowing himself a moment of respite.

ARCADE
(link)
BUT I GUESS THERE?S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE MANIAC IN THIS ?WORLD?!
(burst)
HAHAHAHA

PAGE 3

1) Int. Murderworld - dark, carnival-esque room.
SPIDER-MAN is tied to a platform that resembles a carousel. No horses or carriages on this ride, Spidey is tied to a thin pole in the middle of the stage.

CAPTION
?LOCKE! CHAMBERS! MINDY LOO! GATHER ?ROUND AND BRING THE SNACKS! IT?S TIME FOR MURDERWORLD TV! HOOOOHAH!?

SPIDER-MAN CAPTION

KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? WAKING UP IN A STRANGE ROOM WITH NO MEMORIES OF HOW YOU GOT THERE. RAGING HEADACHE... DIZZINESS... YOU?D THINK I WAS DRUNK.

2) Peter?s POV -- The room is spinning and nothing is clear. He?s dizzy and everything?s a giant blur of muted colors. If he were a little more conscious, the whole floor would be covered with vomit.

SPIDER-MAN CAPTION
AND THEN IT COMES BACK TO ME IN A SWIRL OF DISJOINTED MEMORIES. THE LITTLE GIRL BEATING ME... DEADPOOL. NOT ONE OF MY PROUDER MOMENTS.

SPIDER-MAN
(whisper)
WHU?
(bigger)
--WHUT?!

3) Pull out to reveal a spinning Spider-man surrounded by THREE of his deadliest foes (GREEN GOBLIN, MYSTERIO, and SCORPION) with their respective weapons and means of attack at the ready at different angles/sides of the room. To make it completely overkill, ray guns (2) are in the room.

SPIDER-MAN CAPTION
OK... THIS WON?T BE GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL.

SPIDER-MAN
(burst)
AGHHHHH!

So if you wouldn't mind, please check out the full script and leave a remark (or 2 [or 3 {or 4}]).
« Last Edit: April 02, 2010, 02:59:09 AM by Previsionary »
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.

Offline Previsionary

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script #3
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2010, 09:52:45 PM »
Same deal as previous post. Here's the conclusion, and I'd really like some more feedback so that I know what to fix up. Also, I've updated issue 1, so it's in Draft 4 mode. Same link as before. Anyway, issue 3!

Quote from:  Ultimate Trio #3
RECAP

Previously:

Arcade and his merry gaggle of helpers kidnapped The Human Torch, Iceman, and Spider-man in an effort to mentor assassin-in-training, Mindy Loo, in trap style fun. While she's a willing student, she has a mind of her own, and regardless of what Arcade says, giving chances of survival is NOT entertaining. In fact, she knows just what to do to bring oodles of joy in any situation: torture an already down hero with the potential loss of a family member. Can you taste the laughter?

Meanwhile, Deadpool has re-entered the picture after a humiliating defeat at the "hand" of an oversized robot. Unfortunately, Arcade has surprises in store for trespassers....

PAGE 1

1) Int. Murderworld - Past - monitor room

Large panel. MINDY LOO (Console) is tied up, trapped in an assortment of ribbons and toys, behind ARCADE who?s watching his monitors with glee. REVERSE POV from Arcade?s perspective. Mindy is helpless, but she doesn?t seem all that disturbed. In fact, she seems to be enjoying herself, intrigued by the man that kidnapped her.
Interestingly, at this point Mindy is a brunette and looks relatively normal. No pigtails, no creepiness... just normal.

MINDY CAPTION
I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST MET 'IM --STANDING THERE. SO CALM, COLLECTED. INSANITY HIDDEN BEHIND THOSE BABY BLUE EYES.
2) Pull in on the monitor as Arcade watches a MAN, torn and weak, struggle with a wall that?s pushing him towards a giant pit.

MINDY CAPTION
HE WAS THERE TO KILL MY FATHER. HIRED BY HIS BIGGEST RIVAL. HE CHOSE ME AS HIS BAIT.

MAN
(burst)
NO! NOOOO!!!

ARCADE

HA! THIS IS BETTA THAN PAY-PER-VIEW, AIN?T IT, DOLL?

3) Arcade moves over to Mindy and looks at her face. He?s suspicious of her. She doesn?t seem to be fazed at all that her father is about to die.

ARCADE
WHAT?S WITH YOU? NO TEARS FOR DADDY DEAR?

MINDY
NO.
(link)
WHY CRY WHEN LAUGHIN? IS SO MUCH BETTER?

PAGE 2


1) Arcade rubs his chin, satisfied with this answer.

MINDY CAPTION
BUT HE SAW SOMETHIN' 'N ME... MY INTEREST -- THE INTENSITY.

ARCADE
HMM... I THINK I COULD LIKE YOU.

2) Extreme close up on Mindy?s face, below the nose. Emphasis on her mouth as her creepy grin stretches across her face. Menacing, she might even be more insane than Arcade.

MINDY CAPTION
AND HE HAD TO HAVE ME -- OR WAS IT I HIM?

MINDY
LIKE ME? WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW ME.

3) Arcade is a little taken aback. This is probably the first time in all his history of assassinating people that a target?s loved one has come on to him so... strongly.
MINDY
I WANT YOU... TO TEACH ME. MAKE ME INTO SOMETHIN? I?D BE PROUD OF.

ARCADE
A RAVIN? LUNATIC FIT FOR A LOONY BIN?

MINDY
NO...

4) Mindy?s POV, camera on Arcade as he takes dark delight in this offer. Mindy is really winning him over despite how ridiculous she sounds.

MINDY
SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
(link)
POWERFUL. MENACING. CREATIVE. FUN.

ARCADE

WELL, YOU?RE SWEET TALKIN? THE RIGHT GUY, MINDY LOO... BUT THERE?S ONE ITSY BITSY PROBLEM.

MINDY

WHAT? YOU DON?T THINK I COULD DO THIS?
(link)
...BE LIKE YOU?

5) Close up on Mindy, shadows slowly descending on her pale face. Her eyes lowered, mouth curled... if it were possible, her eyes would be gleaming a shade of deadly red.

ARCADE
(O.S.)
WHY WOULD LIL? OL? ME HELP LIL?ER OL? YOU?

MINDY
WHY, ARCADE? YOU LIKE THE THRILL OF THE GAME, DON?CHA? A RIVAL TO PLAY WITH? AND BESIDES--

PAGE 3

1) INT. - Murderworld - Present Day - Room of Ice

Mindy is standing on a WOBBLY CAGE with a jet pack strapped to her back. Below her are JOHNNY?s beloved niece and nephew scared for their life. They?re tied together and are scared of falling into a large abyss that the cage is hanging over, suspended by some type of chain. JOHNNY STORM, aka THE HUMAN TORCH, hovers before them, frightened out of his wits, but he has on a brave face. A face full of anger and he?d show no remorse if this kid hurt his kin. The flame aura around him is raging.

CAPTION
?--YOU GOTTA A LIL? SWEET TOOTH FOR THE MOOLAH. I?M SURE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT.?

MINDY CAPTION
AND SO HE BEGRUDGINGLY AGREED TO BE MY MENTOR. BUT THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM.

HUMAN TORCH

(jagged)
LET THEM GO OR I?LL--!

2) Mindy smirks as she produces a laser powered gun and points it at the chains holding the cage in place.

MINDY
--YOU?LL WHAT, HOTTY? WATCH AS YOUR KIDDIES GO SPLAT?

MINDY CAPTION
SOMETIMES TO PROVE YOURSELF, UNFORTUNATE THINGS HAVE TO HAPPEN.

3) Wide shot. Mindy tilts her head and allows her innocence to return juxtaposed by the mere presence of the gun threatening to snap the chains.

MINDY
THIS AIN?T YOUR GAME, BABY. IT?S MINE. NOW FOLLOW THE RULES AN? NO ONE GETS HURT! >TEE-HEE<

MINDY CAPTION

MY NAME IS CONSOLE, AND I'D REALLY LIKE TO KILL SOMEONE TODAY.

Read the full script here: issue 3!
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.

Offline John Jr.

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script #3
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2010, 12:22:19 AM »
Like I said earlier, I'm not a fan of the characters (except Spidey, of course!), but I had fun with the story. Spidey and Deadpool had great lines (specially the "Tobey" references) and Mindy/Console is a interesting character (remind me of the Joker in some moments, and that's a compliment!).
The Torch had his best lines since his team-up book from the seventies. Usually I find Johnny a bi-dimensional, one-joke character, but in "Trio" he showed some depth and even was smart enough to use his powers in creative ways.
Congrats, Prev!

Offline Previsionary

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Re: Ultimate Trio: The Script #3
« Reply #15 on: April 29, 2010, 12:06:55 AM »
Thanks for the comment(s), JJ! I'm glad you liked it and that I succeeded in rounding out the cast (though HT got the bulk of the development while DP got none of it. :P). I still can't believe you don't like Iceman, Torch, or DP naturally. You're obviously an alien.

Characters like Johnny (such as Iceman, Havok, and NC) are trapped in perpetual loops of non-development to the point where DRASTIC things are done to the character to feign development (like HT almost marrying Alicia Masters and betraying his best friend), so I'm glad I accomplished it using actual experiences he'd gone through w/o resorting to extreme measures.
My natural response to ugliness is to throw a vase, in the hopes that whatever it strikes is marred with its beauty.