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Author Topic: To Stay or To Go, That is the Question  (Read 1888 times)

Offline BentonGrey

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To Stay or To Go, That is the Question
« on: March 18, 2019, 04:26:48 PM »
Howdy folks.  Lady Grey and I are facing a difficult decision and a difficult time.  Not only am I trying to finish my dissertation, we're trying to figure out what the next year will hold for us.  She's currently teaching at a small liberal arts university, a place we both really love and at which we had planned to stay.  Unfortunately, the position that we had counted on for me has not materialized and may not for quite some time.  She's been unhappy with significant elements of her position, and she had a job interview somewhere else recently.  She just got an offer, and now things have gotten real. 

We want to stay: we love our friends, our town, our house, and this school, but we obviously can't just hang out forever without anything for me.  My wife had a meeting with the powers-that-be, and it went about as well as it could.  The VP she met with realizes the gravity of the situation (if she leaves, her department will be COMPLETELY screwed, and it's one of the major departments on campus), and he is highly motivated to find a way for us to stay.  Still, it is a difficult thing to do and may not happen.  Those of you that pray, please pray for provision and guidance.  Now, we wait.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2019, 07:12:05 PM by BentonGrey »
God Bless
"If God came down upon me and gave me a wish again, I'd wish to be like Aquaman, 'cause Aquaman can take the pain..." -Ballad of Aquaman
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Offline HarryTrotter

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Re: Should We Stay or Should We Go?
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2019, 06:39:33 PM »
Im probably not the best person to give career advice,but wait a bit and see if something works out,and if it doesnt- move.
''Even our origin stories have gone sour.''
Jon Farmer

Offline Deaths Jester

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Re: To Stay or To Go, That is the Question
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2019, 10:28:23 PM »
If the job offer Lady Grey got doesn't have a time/date that she has to get back to them by, then I say put out the fire that is the Phd first. By getting that done then you'll have less extra stress to deal with. If the offer is not open ended response then you've got to weigh the pros and cons of everything...
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Offline SickAlice

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Re: To Stay or To Go, That is the Question
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2019, 05:28:15 PM »
First off nice to see you again friend. Hope all is well as can be. If I learned anything thus far in my adventure it's follow your heart and encourage others to do the same. All the stuff in the world doesn't matter if you're not happy with it. The adage is " Would you rather be in a place with everything to do and no one to do it with or in a place with nothing to do but everyone you care for? ".

My question here is are there alternatives or can they be paved? Seems things can't be that binary. Like you say she loves her job and the people and is indispensable. But the future holds no position for you. What's the compromise then? Needing her can an agreement be reached where you're offered a different position at least temporarily? I mean a lot changes in a year so that position could be yours anyways later. Or is there something else for you? Can you be an independent who works for themselves or possibly create the very position you desire? The latter is my go to in life, not for everyone but it's easier done than said in fact.

Offline Cyber Burn

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Re: To Stay or To Go, That is the Question
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2019, 06:19:39 PM »
I'm probably the last person who should be giving out advice, but I would have to agree with DJ on this. Try to hold out as long as you can before moving, get your Dissertation knocked out, then if nothing happens for you, start looking into other options. Just make sure that Lady Grey is on board with whatever decision you make.