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Author Topic: The worst movie you ever saw...  (Read 960 times)

Offline kkhohoho

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2017, 06:35:18 PM »
Kkhohoho: the Cuyahoga River catches fire every once in awhile. Back in the '6os, anyway. REM did a song.

Well, I knew that. I just didn't know the name. Thanks for clearing that up.
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Offline daglob

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #61 on: March 29, 2017, 07:40:24 PM »
Comet does it again...

Tonight they are showing Dracula vs. Frankenstein, a movie notable for its' mod Frank Zappa lookalike Dracula, mush-faced Frankenstein, a cameo by Forrest J. Ackerman, Angelo Rossitto as a dwarf, and, sadly, what I am told are the last professional performances by  J. Carroll Naish and Lon Chaney Jr. It's not "so bad it's good" bad, just plain "bad" bad. The story is that it is made from an unfinished movie called The Blood Seekers, one of those movies were a mad scientist beneficiary of humanity has to murder young women for the betterment of mankind (HOW many times have they used that as an excuse? I've lost track). Additional scenes with Drac and Frank were shot to fill out the time, and there you go. A little like The Incredible Melting Man, but without the few remaining funny scenes. I've read that some feel that what appeal it has is that the scenes change so fast, the action flows so quickly, and some of the performances are so goofy that you can't help but like it. I don't agree.

Still, when trying to decide what the worst movie I ever saw is, The Curse of the Swamp Creature is the first movie that shambles into mind.

In the middle of writing this, the page reset, erasing my post.

Offline Panther_Gunn

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #62 on: March 30, 2017, 02:00:46 AM »
In the middle of writing this, the page reset, erasing my post.

Obviously the board agreed that it was so bad that it couldn't bear to admit it exists.
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Offline dudalb

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #63 on: April 06, 2017, 09:34:17 PM »
The Spirit continues to be my standard for bad movies, although I must confess I refused to watch past 10 or 15 minutes of it, so it might get better later.  I really doubt that though.

It was even worse if you are a fan of Will Eisner's brilliant creation. If there was ever a case of somebody not really getting the Source material, it was Frank Miller and The Spirit. 

Offline BentonGrey

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #64 on: April 06, 2017, 09:47:00 PM »
There's a hot competition for that distinction these days.
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Offline dudalb

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #65 on: April 06, 2017, 09:52:38 PM »
There's a hot competition for that distinction these days.

And the 1995 Demi Moore film of "The Scarlet Letter" is certainly in the competition. It has a happy ending. That should tell you all you need to know about how bad it is.

Offline dudalb

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #66 on: April 06, 2017, 09:53:58 PM »
And let us not forget "The Room", the film which made Tommy Wiseau the Ed Wood for the New Century. Think Ed Wood with intellectual pretensions.

Offline BentonGrey

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #67 on: April 06, 2017, 09:58:16 PM »
Ha, wow, The Scarlet Letter with a happy ending.  That's like the 40s version of Moby Dick where Ahab kills the whale and goes home to get hitched (proof that this isn't just a modern phenomenon!).
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Offline dudalb

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #68 on: April 06, 2017, 10:19:53 PM »
In the 1995 movie of The Scarlet Letter, Hester runs off with Arthur Dimmesdale to Carolina at the end, to live happily ever after. I kid you not.
I guess that the novel is a tragedy went over the heads of the writer and producers......

Offline dudalb

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #69 on: April 06, 2017, 10:22:49 PM »
Kkhohoho: the Cuyahoga River catches fire every once in awhile. Back in the '6os, anyway. REM did a song.

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Offline daglob

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #70 on: April 19, 2017, 05:20:03 PM »
Comet does it again:

They have Mars Needs Women in rotation. And here I discover it's by Larry Buchanan, which explains a lot (never had enough interest to check it out before).

Buchanan was tasked with taking B&W monster movies from the '50s and making color versions for television distribution. I'm not sure what the deal was, whether they thought color made them better, or they thought that they  could pass them off as "new", or if they thought that people would actually avoid B&W movies on color TV stations.

Buchanan made the following (among a few others):


The Eye Creatures (remake of Invasion of the Saucer Men)

Zontar, the Thing From Venus (remake of It Conquered the World, with the dreaded rutabaga monster)

Creature of Destruction (remake of The She-Creature, about a prehistoric reptilian blonde hottie with big bazoongas)

In the Year 2889 (remake of The Day the World Ended)

Curse of the Swamp Creature (which is a kind of remake of a movie called Voodoo Woman)

It's Alive (no relation to the 1974 monster movie of the same name, the plot synopsis reads like a composite of The Valley of Gwangi and Beast from Haunted Cave)

Hell Raiders (possibly original, but that may not help it)

The Lock Ness Horror (much to my surprise, I kinda liked this one)

Mars Needs Women (which bears a certain resemblance to Teenagers from Outer Space and an assortment of other movies which escaped into distribution)

 I may be unfair to Buchanan; perhaps he didn't want to make the remakes listed above, and it is pretty certain that he had little or no budget to make them with.

Offline Deaths Jester

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #71 on: April 19, 2017, 06:31:41 PM »
Mars Needs Women was originally made in 1967 by AIP.

The Eye Creatures comes from 1965 and was a made-for-tele movie, also known as Attack of the The Eye Creatures.

Zontar was another tele movie done in 1966.'

In the Year 2889 was 1967, and a tele movie...see a theme here from Buchanan....

It's Alive made it to film in '69. The creature was reused in Buchanan's Creature of Destruction flop.

He did Hell Raiders for AIP in '68 a rip off of a bunch of WW 2 movies done around that time.

The Lock Ness Horror was an '81 idie film that Larry wrote with Lyn Schubert.  It was filmed in Lake Tahoe, Calif and the Nessie puppet (just a head on a stick) was later used as Jack the Ripper in one of the "**** or Not?" segments in "Amazon Women on the Moon".




There are a few other Buchanan films you're missing there, DG, but I'll let you go looking for them....it's more fun when you stumble on them yourself.

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Offline kaflinkle_rises

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #72 on: May 04, 2017, 10:19:37 PM »
There are too many obvious ones, Jaws 4, Robocop 3 (one was fantastic, 2 so-so, but 3 made me want to punch myself in the face), Battlefield Earth, etc, but one of the biggest disappointments for me was the second Sin City film. It didn't have any of the style or soul of the original.

On the flip side of this, one of my favourite films is The Man from Earth made in 2007. I love that film but most people I know are bored to tears watching it.

Offline Silver Shocker

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #73 on: May 04, 2017, 11:25:48 PM »
Yeah,Awakening of the Trailblazer was kinda pointless.What most fans hold against it however,were aliens.Never before,or after,have there been aliens present in the whole franchise.Except that space whale fossil in SEED,but thats a different story.

First off, I have to say, I am SO happy that I am not the only person on this board who actually watches anime, much less Gundam. You sir have made my day. :)

I watch the anime, including Gundam. I just recently watched the first season of Iron Blooded Orphans. As for the Gundam 00 film, I only saw it once years ago and my memory of it is pretty poor. I don't really remember what I thought of it but I don't think I hated it. I'd have to watch it again to tel you what I think of it now.
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Offline GhostMachine

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #74 on: May 05, 2017, 01:13:51 AM »
The worst film I ever saw in a theater was Krull, with Masters Of The Universe a close second. The worst I've seen on cable, dvd or Blu-Ray (not counting Mystery Science Theater 3000 or intentionally bad cult films) would have to be Neon Demon. As I can't say how I really feel about it here, since its a family friendly board, I'll simply say its time wasted that I'll never get back. If Keanu Reeves being in it is an attraction for you, let me save you the trouble by telling you that he's in it less than 5 minutes total, in two different scenes, and only has one or two lines (maybe three, at most). Its one of those movies where everyone involved either needed money or owed favors, and the writer and director were either heavily on drugs or needed to be. Absolute garbage.

(Edited my post because I previously had Jupiter Ascending listed instead. But Neon Demon makes it look like a 5-star Academy Award winner by comparison.)

There are too many obvious ones, Jaws 4, Robocop 3 (one was fantastic, 2 so-so, but 3 made me want to punch myself in the face), Battlefield Earth, etc, but one of the biggest disappointments for me was the second Sin City film. It didn't have any of the style or soul of the original.

On the flip side of this, one of my favourite films is The Man from Earth made in 2007. I love that film but most people I know are bored to tears watching it.

My biggest problem with the second Sin City was them trying to make Josh Brolin look more like Clive Owen through the use of makeup and prosthetics, since Clive Owen was unable to appear for the post-plastic surgery part of the film. Would have been better off not showing Dwight's face at all (or used stock footage for a quick glimpse and shown him in shadow).

« Last Edit: May 05, 2017, 03:21:30 AM by GhostMachine »

Offline kkhohoho

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Re: The worst movie you ever saw...
« Reply #75 on: May 05, 2017, 01:58:13 AM »
Yeah,Awakening of the Trailblazer was kinda pointless.What most fans hold against it however,were aliens.Never before,or after,have there been aliens present in the whole franchise.Except that space whale fossil in SEED,but thats a different story.

First off, I have to say, I am SO happy that I am not the only person on this board who actually watches anime, much less Gundam. You sir have made my day. :)

I'd have to watch it again--

DON'T. DO. IT. Trust me, you'll thank me later. ;)
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