It's just too quiet here . . .
A small, elderly Chinese man stalks the length of a large, oppulent office, a snarl on his face and a large machine gun in his hands and screams, "Say hello to my leetle fren!" and opens fire.
Suddenly, a small, ten year-old boy, appears from behind a bush, and ninjas some business dude, whom was going to work.
The end.
*evil japanese evil guy laugh*
FORIAMSPAM!
*dies quietly in a corner due to unrelated and perfectly absurd causes*
The Beginning.
ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and You Know the Rest
*immediately leaves the thread, before the smackdown comes down for using weapons*
:gauntlet:
Quote from: Panther_Gunn on February 22, 2007, 01:31:20 PM
*immediately leaves the thread, before the smackdown comes down for using weapons*
:gauntlet:
Unlees of course Randy decides to hunt down anyone who leaves so as not to alert the authories-*gets his mouth gagged.*-mphhhh mph mpph mph MPPH!!!
Yeah, see: lettle fren, spray of bullets, dead bunburyist . . .
But no Randy.
I think the cat's away, guys. Whoop it up!
*barks like an owl*
Mooooo!
FORIAMSPAM!
Don't you all SEE?! This is all part of a plot to lure us all into a state of false sercurity, and then STAB US where we STAND! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE-*SLAP* ...thanks. I needed that. *Throws Spam head first into an oven and sets it to 600 degress for 5 hours. 5 hours later, the oven is opened, and Spam is now over cooked. To top it off, his clothing's on fire.*
Spam flambe! Yum! :P
Quote from: kkhohoho on February 26, 2007, 09:38:18 PM
Don't you all SEE?! This all part of a plot to lure us all into a state of false sercurity, and then STAB US where we STAND! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE-*SLAP* ...thanks. I needed that. *Throws Spam head first into an oven and sets it to 600 degress for 5 hours. 5 hours later, the oven is opened, and Spam is now over cooked. To top it off, his clothing's on fire.*
Spam flambe! Yum! :P
Uh wait... that wasn't in the script! :blink:
*stuffs kkhohoho into a Decompression chamber and sets it to pressure equal to seventy-five feet underwater*
(Which is only about 4 atmospheres of pressure. If he stays in too long he might get the bends if he comes out without depressurizing . . .)
UY cranks the chamber up to 7500 feet underwater. While that builds up he places plastique charges around the door set to go off when the final pressure is released . . .
*sprays Uncle Yuan with catnip and releases the White Bengal Tigers*
*farts...becuase he had to!!!*
*averts his eyes bashfully*
ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and You Know the Rest
But that's not really death, is it?
:throws a lit match through the cloud of murky vapor surrounding DJ.:
Better.
*ties Uncle Yuan to the train tracks. One half of his body is on the track for the northbound express, the other half for the southbound freight. And here they come now!*
Quote from: kkhohoho on February 26, 2007, 09:38:18 PM
Don't you all SEE?! This is all part of a plot to lure us all into a state of false sercurity, and then STAB US where we STAND! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEE-*SLAP* ...thanks. I needed that. *Throws Spam head first into an oven and sets it to 600 degress for 5 hours. 5 hours later, the oven is opened, and Spam is now over cooked. To top it off, his clothing's on fire.*
Spam flambe! Yum! :P
My pants... RUINED!!!
*kicks kkhohoha in the shins*
...
Owwwwwwwwwwwww...
FORIAMSPAM!
Quote from: Sword on March 08, 2007, 04:11:40 AM
*ties Uncle Yuan to the train tracks. One half of his body is on the track for the northbound express, the other half for the southbound freight. And here they come now!*
And the apinful part was not the train, but the session on the rack beforehand that allowed such a small man to span two sets of tracks!
Quote from: Uncle Yuan on March 08, 2007, 12:35:57 PM
Quote from: Sword on March 08, 2007, 04:11:40 AM
*ties Uncle Yuan to the train tracks. One half of his body is on the track for the northbound express, the other half for the southbound freight. And here they come now!*
And the apinful part was not the train, but the session on the rack beforehand that allowed such a small man to span two sets of tracks!
Yes, very apinful.
*rubs some sticks together in an attempt to create a fire*
Come on, come on.. this is how they did it on Discovery Channel!
*suddenly, without warning, a spark flies and the sticks ignite*
Yes! I have made fire! Truly I am a god among me-
*he is cut off as the flames engulf his body*
*ponders the blazing Cardy*
Poor guy, he doesn't realize that we can do that to each other now.
*Grabs Alaric and throws him into the conflagration*
He's a little green, but he'll burn OK.
Quote from: Uncle Yuan on March 08, 2007, 07:01:45 PM
*Grabs Alaric and throws him into the conflagration*
He's a little green, but he'll burn OK.
Now THAT's apinful!
Uotch! Wo!
(Screams in apin)
i'll save ye cardy, alaric. --blast you both with a high pressure hose.. from a sand blaster-- umm.. oops.. --watching the skin get flayed from them both--
*calls forth his horde of undead brussel sprouts and commands them to eviscerate Uncle Yuan*
Feel the pain!!
*Forces Death's Jester to reincarnate as Fred Rogers 2.0*
What... he was already dead.
...
*kicks dirt on Sword's boot*
...
PWNED!
*runs in the fire, making sure he gets himself before Sword gets him*
FORIAMAPINFUL!
Quote from: Spam on March 09, 2007, 09:23:33 PM
...
*kicks dirt on Sword's boot*
...
PWNED!
*runs in the fire, making sure he gets himself before Sword gets him*
FORIAMAPINFUL!
*Pours water on the fire and Spam, thus dousing Spam. Then, pours gasoline on Spam, and tosses a match on Spam. Spam is then once more on fire, and likely to be burned to a nice cripsy flavor. All the while the perpatrator of this act of repeated violens-SMACK!-violence knows that he did it because he wanted to do it himself*
It's the simple things in life you treasure. :)
Gapthphub! I'm once again on fire! My burns have burns on them! And I have no idea how I'm talking whilst burning to a nice, probably brownish-blackish crisp! Oh, the sorrow, oh the humanity of being burned twice! And all's I wanted was to escape the probably terrible death I would have been given by Sword anyway, but Kkhohoho had to interfere in that schemish plot of his which I knew he had, because I knew!
...
Wait, I'm on fire? I just thoug- *spontaneously combusts, putting him in an even deeper flame* GAH! I'M ON FIRE!
FORIAMSPAM!
*pulls out caulk gun and applies thick coat of Liquid Nails[tm] to kkhohoho*
*steps back, picks up a 10 foot pole and shoves kk into the burning Spam where he sticks fast*
*trys to push kkhohoho off of him*
MY FIRE!
FORIAMSPAM!
*produces a exploding jumping bean and shoves it down Kkhohoho's throat*
*seriously tries to push kkhohoho off of him*
Please don't blow up, please don't blow up, please don't blow up...
FORIAMSPAM!
Cake or Death? Cake or Death?
Baking Spam and Kkhohoho into a cake to bring some death . . .
that works.
*mixes alcohol, a bit of fire and some other junk...and shoves it down Mr Hamrick's pants*
HAHA!! Explodo pants!!
*runs in and randomly squashes DJ with a giant teddy bear*
SEVEN!
*runs out of thread again*
*drinks the alcohol (hey, I was The Whiskey Saint after all) and spews flames at Death Jester*
hmmm
*dumps a truck load of cooked spaghetti noodles on top of Tomato*
Quote from: Tomato on March 30, 2007, 08:52:18 AM
*runs in and randomly squashes DJ with a giant teddy bear*
SEVEN!
*runs out of thread again*
What?
*is randomly dispatched in a randomly gruesome random fashion. It's very random
*chains Hamrick and Panther-Gunn to the wall and hits them both with the ultimate nullifier.*
*if theres anything left, soaks their bodies in liquid nitrogen and shatters them*
Quote from: Sword on March 30, 2007, 05:04:19 PM
*chains Hamrick and Panther-Gunn to the wall and hits them both with the ultimate nullifier.*
*if theres anything left, soaks their bodies in liquid nitrogen and shatters them*
*wonders how he got dragged into this :huh:*
*laughs @ Sword, because he's obviously forgotten that the U-N also takes out the
wielder, as well as the target*
*prefers to believe that he's the one that survived, due to order of listing, as well as alphabetical :P*
I just write it off that it was "one of my stunt doubles"
lol
*eats Hamrick's head*
*retreats*
*has his filthy assistants attack Pwime*
Good thing I bought stock in Hellscorp's cloning services.
*throws a grenade to where all the filthy assistants are*
*big explody*
*kicks dirt on Hamrick's shoe/boot/bare foot/sandal/shoe/shoe/flip-flop*
...
PWPHNEOWND!!
...
*runs to a dark alley, hoping not to be spotted*
FORIAMSPAM!
manages to warn a couple of my assistants and then pulls a rocket launcher and fires at SPAM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
Quote from: UnfluffyBunny on April 03, 2007, 03:35:44 PM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
*kills everyone lol*
*is an unfortunate mess of particulate matter due to the Ultimate Nullifier*
heroy ra ra
*stabs his own belly*
you've disronor my famury!
it is incredibly rainful
Quote from: Sword on April 03, 2007, 03:57:35 PM
*is an unfortunate mess of particulate matter due to the Ultimate Nullifier*
*slips on a pile of Sword-goo*
Quote from: UnfluffyBunny on April 03, 2007, 03:35:44 PM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
I daresay that is not completely true...I'm still squished by a bloody teddy bear...WILL someone get this bloody thing off me!!!!
Quote from: Deaths Jester on April 05, 2007, 08:29:38 AM
Quote from: UnfluffyBunny on April 03, 2007, 03:35:44 PM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
I daresay that is not completely true...I'm still squished by a bloody teddy bear...WILL someone get this bloody thing off me!!!!
*gets the teddy bear off of DJ*
*is isntantly attacked by rabid monkeys as DJ watches on in horror*
Quote from: Sword on April 03, 2007, 03:57:35 PM
*is an unfortunate mess of particulate matter due to the Ultimate Nullifier*
* Inhales the Sword-based cloud of particulate matter... develops a mild cough. *
Quote from: Raijin on April 03, 2007, 04:23:08 PM
*stabs his own belly*
.a loty
.
.
it is incredibly rainful
Heh, I can but imagine...
Quote from: UnfluffyBunny on April 03, 2007, 03:35:44 PM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
When the cat's away . . . .
Quote from: Uncle Yuan on April 05, 2007, 05:50:45 PM
Quote from: UnfluffyBunny on April 03, 2007, 03:35:44 PM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
When the cat's away . . . .
*desperately tries to escape the rabid monkeys (who have laser eyes as of this post), and only ends up bringing the danger to Yuan as well*
Windex anyone?
Mmmmmmmm.....
-CM
Quote from: The Pwime on April 05, 2007, 07:56:11 PM
Quote from: Uncle Yuan on April 05, 2007, 05:50:45 PM
Quote from: UnfluffyBunny on April 03, 2007, 03:35:44 PM
I see uber has returned to the fiefdom....
When the cat's away . . . .
*desperately tries to escape the rabid monkeys (who have laser eyes as of this post), and only ends up bringing the danger to Yuan as well*
Yuan waves his hand and disappears in a swirl of light leaving Pwime to be riddled with Rabid Monkey Eye Blasts™.
Hmmmm... Glowy, radioactive letters. *bites some off*
FORIAMSPAM!
*is riddled with Rabid Monkey Eye Blasts™*
*from somewhere on the astral plain, considers that Rabid Monkey Eye Blasts would make a great band name.*
RABIES!!!!
DAREDEVIL IGUANAS!!!
FORIAMSPAM!
Undead Tequilla!!!!!
Quote from: Deaths Jester on April 19, 2007, 10:25:36 AM
Undead Tequilla!!!!!
Pretty much sums up DJ right there . . .
*headbangs*
FORIAMSPAM!
whoo!
Woo, John Woo!
The Whoo?
*gets bombarded with rotting pumpkins after stating that terrible The Who pun*
FORIAMSPAM!
The what? No seriously....
... You've never heard of The Who?
"Talkin' 'bout my generation..."
...
*speaks utter nonsense, as he doesn't know the rest of the song*
"Yeah, my generation baby..."
That song? That one... song... Or, how about Magic Schoolbus. At least, I think that's what its called...
FORIAMSPAM!
Ooh The Who!... Yes... yes of course I've heard of them, yeah... The Who, eh yeah... ok... um... time for me to slay some demons, I mean watch some t.v....
Yeah, and I'm, um, erm, going to go to work, err, I mean, go to the mall... :mellow:
...
Oh, what the heck?
*watches TV with TJ*
FORIAMSPAM!
*rigs TV with small radioisotope emitter that irradiates the pair to the point of Medium-Well by the end of the second coercial break*
Time to get this thread back on track!
*sneaks up on Uncle Yuan and crams a handful of undead jalapenoes down his "supposed" pants*
That's for getting this thread back on track!!
(http://img383.imageshack.us/img383/3773/0214xg3.jpg)
*gives DJ a teddy bear*
That's for untracking the track on this thread!
FORIAMSPAM!
Quote from: Spam on April 26, 2007, 11:08:25 AM
*gives DJ a teddy bear*
That's for untracking the track on this thread!
FORIAMSPAM!
Ohhh...a teddy bear...ahhh....how cute!
Dang it! I thought you were undead. So, I thought that means you hate everything cute, but my plans were spoiled.
...
Oh hey, now that I look at it, it IS a cute teddy bear.
*tries to hug it, but gets pushed back by DJ*
:angry: SPAM MAD, SPAM WANT TEDDY!
*tries to pick up a vase and smash it on the ground, but instead just shoves the table over*
FORIAMSPAM!
I'd respond but I'm being molested by Chili Peppers of the Night.
Gee, Spammy, shame about that broken shard of vase sticking out of your neck. You know, you really shouldn't bleed on Randy's rug. It isn't polite.
*walks through the comic book hero revolving door called death and rejoins the living*
*Superglues Uncle Yuan's feet to the ground and calls in the Hulk*
:sword As Promised, one speedbag. Have at.
*Hulk proceeds to pound UY into humanoid jelly*
:sword *satisified, turns around and walks face first into a cactus*
*hands General Jerky, and the cat a cheeseburger each*
WOOT!
(http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/5037/0227tp0.jpg)
^Jerky and Kitty after finally getting a cheeseburger.
lol Rolfcats rocks!
*watches UY getting beat up by the Hulk*
*laughs*
*bleeds all over the carpet*
*slips on blood*
*laughs*
FORIAMSPAM!
I don't know about you guys, but i'm gonna go and protect my baby. :cool:
*smashes baby*
:ph34r:
FORIAMSPAM!
argh! :o
oh its on! :angry:
*pulls out keyblade* :angry:
*proceeds to toss the teddy bear in a chipper, much like that movie Fargo. Then grabs Raijin and stuffs him after the teddy bear*
"My..my...I be really doin' good now. Ahyuck!"
Quote from: Deaths Jester on May 01, 2007, 08:21:13 AM
*proceeds to toss the teddy bear in a chipper, much like that movie Fargo. Then grabs Raijin and stuffs him after the teddy bear*
"My..my...I be really doin' good now. Ahyuck!"
...
*grabs a hanger*
Noooo, moooore.... TEDDY BEARS!!
*whacks DJ with it*
FORIAMSPAM!
*beats Spam to death with a treadmill.*
Quote from: Sword on May 02, 2007, 06:29:00 AM
*beats Spam to death with a treadmill.*
*flamethrowers j00*
FORIAMSPAM!
*turns you all into sofas
*beats you all to death with a hyper-cerebral electrolysing rubber duckie which causes hyperkalemia
*whistles to self in the silence
Quote from: Sevenforce on May 02, 2007, 03:35:51 PM
*turns you all into sofas
*beats you all to death with a hyper-cerebral electrolysing rubber duckie which causes hyperkalemia
*whistles to self in the silence
*is happy he was already dead....course isn't happy he's a couch*
"I'm going to get ye Sven!!"
*proceeds to pummel Sven with his sofa cushionness!!!*
*throws in a pokeball*
i choose you raichu!!
Quote from: Raijin on May 14, 2007, 07:48:07 PM
*throws in a pokeball*
i choose you raichu!!
*catches pokeball in mid-throw*
*squeezes hot sauce on pokeball*
*bon-epetite's*
Ya know, after chewing the bad mechanical chipyness of the pokeball, it actually doesn't taste so bad...
FORIAMSPAM!
*kills spam with a large metal pole, and burns his remains to ashes*
BURN!!! BUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Quote from: Tomato on May 19, 2007, 11:49:50 AM
*kills spam with a large metal pole, and burns his remains to ashes*
BURN!!! BUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
*once I regenerates, I finds you, and puts in you a closet, all tied up like*
*then when its time, I take you out, and then put you in the trunk of a car*
*I take the car to some sort of dumpster place, and take you out of the trunk*
*from there I have no idea what to do, so I just whack you with a rat-flail and some flying platypus's*
FORIAMSPAM!
*throws another pokeball in mid-air*
i choose you bulbasaur!
Quote from: Raijin on May 20, 2007, 04:17:49 PM
*throws another pokeball in mid-air*
i choose you bulbasaur!
*catches pokeball in mid-air, again*
*throws it back, hoping to whack you in the face*
FORIAMSPAM!
*knocked out*
*walks over and pillages any other pokeballs j00 might have*
*wonders how in the hell sofas is doing all of this :huh: :D
*transports Spam and Raijin to the phantom zone*
* leaves the projector on as he teleport tags it to jupiter*
Quote from: Sevenforce on May 26, 2007, 03:55:24 PM
*wonders how in the hell sofas is doing all of this :huh: :D
*shuffles all sofa-ish over to Sven and commences to suffocate him in DJ's sofa cushiness*
"Ha!!! See, this is how the 'ell sofas are doing all of this!!!"
Wow... You know, this phantom zone really reminds me of Davey-Jones Locker... All.... Nothingish... Just me and Raijin here, doin' nothing...
.......
Jaaaaaackkk SPPPAAAARRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOWWWWW!