Well, well, well, it's been a long time since the show was on the air, but I aim to bring it back and more powerful than ever. That's right, you flesh bags, Prevsational is back on FakeTV! This season, you can expect to see all types of guests and funny fun fun stuff out the wazoo. New set, new host, new people, new ways to end in tragedy. Let's get it started.
*music plays and prev casually melts into the floor as a shadow and reforms in his comfy leather seat chair behind a medium sized wooden desk.*
:prev: Now, I know we've been off for awhile, so let's do a bit of catch-up before our first guest comes out here, alright?
*the audience cheers. One woman holds up a sign hailing Randy*
:prev: Quiet down, peons! Anyway, last show, we had a lot of craziness going on up in this joint. Lots of chaos and destruction.
*clips of TPE being knocked into a tub of jello by Minute Man appear on the screen just to the right of prev quickly followed by a screen shot of Omni_1000 doing some behind the scenes plotting.*
:prev: Things just got a bit out of hand and the show just had to be canceled.
*clips of reep escorting a bunch of kids onto the stage and shouting 'Fight! Fight! Fight!' appear on the screen. Seconds later, a shot of Prev shooting Super Cracker and absorbing him into the floor shock the audience*
:prev: And now that I'm the official new host of this crap hole, you can expect things to be much different.
*Clips of Prem talking to King Be and Panda Be appear on the screen followed closely by a shot of Prem laughing at Sven*
:prev: So, there you have it. The show went crazy and it had to quickly be canceled. Things had become wild and the networks just couldn't have that. Now, I don't think this show will be tame either, but all the craziness of the last show is officially over. So, let's go to commercial break as our first guest prepares himself!
:spam: *peers out the curtain to see if that was his que, then gets shoved by a staff member whispering "You're on, you're on!". Thus, Spam continues to go over where Prev is and shake is hand. But one handshake is not enough. Spam then continues to go around the room, finding every staff member he can find to shake their hands. Then, he tries to shake some of the audience members hands, but then gets denied as security starts to guide him to his seat, as Spam is still making the hand shaking motion to thin air. But still, Spam sits down, and awaits to get questioned*
:prev: Our first guest certainly knows how to make a unique entrance. It's only the first show and guards have been used!
*audience laughs*
:prev: Welcome, Spam, to my show. I trust you had a good trip over here? And if you didn't...whatever.
:spam: "Yeah, I had a good trip. By the way, you should totally check out the hotel I'm staying at, which I think you're paying for... at least, that's what I thought it said in the contract. But anyways, yes, a safe trip was had by all... and when I say all, I mean me."
:prev: Ok, hero-boy, I know we haven't had any type of interaction before since I've been pretty low key in my villainy at the moment, but how's your life going? Still out there fighting the pathetic good fight?
:spam: "Yeah, how come we've never had this type of interaction before? It's like... dang. But yes, I still do fight bad guys, and on my time off... well, I can't really say what I do on my time off. That would be spoiling what superheros everywhere do on their time off. Let's just say I keep very hush-hush."
:prev: We'll see how well that goes over, won't we?
*audience laughs*
:prev: I hear that you recently got a chance to vote for the next feifdom winner. Who did you vote for and how do you feel about the results?
:spam: "We will? Oh yeah, we will, right. I gotcha. Anyways, um I voted for Tiobe. Mainly because he reminds me of a really, really smart guy. So, why not make the smart guy Preside-I mean Fiefdom... ruler. And yeah, I feel really good about it, because he won, and unlike Randy, not to diss the guy or anything, but I don't think that Tiobe will kill me in a very brutal manner. And I don't think Tiobe has found any sort of creature to do most of his biddings... at least, I don't think he has."
*:prev (mentally): That's what you think*
:prev: I actually made a comment awhile back about you being mindwiped by tiobe's tentacles. Do you take offense to that? Your tune did change pretty quickly after Ian commented.
:spam: "I don't know, do I sound mad? And I didn't know Tiobe even had mind tentacle thingies. Those must be a pain to keep track of, so you don't end up accidentally wiping your own mind. That would be bad. But anyways back to the question, at first I was. I was just in utter shock that somebody would say that to me. I mean, I'm not the person who normally gets shocked by the actions, and words of people even though I am a superhero, so when you said that I nearly broke down into an unfixable emotional barrier that was about to break down. But now I'm okay. After about a straight 65 hours in therapy, I just felt better about it. I forgive you, Prev, even if you won't accept it."
*:prev (mentally): Is...he serious right now? Dude needs to rent a movie or something.*
*audience awws*
:prev: Well, Spam, I forgive YOU and it's time for you to move your spammy butt out of the chair so the next guest can come out. Got any last words to say? Anything to plug? Any shoutouts? Don't go crazy.
:spam: "Um yeah, I do have just one thing to say....... *takes quite a few deep breaths before going into what he's going to say* Rubik's cube... Think about it."
...
*audience claps...slowly*
:prev: Just scoot into the next seat, kid. Our next guest is about to come out and I'm sure he'd like to chat with ya a bit. I hear you guys are teammates. This should be interesting.
:spam: *scoots into the next seat, eagerly awaiting who's going to sit next to him, and cheers very, very loudly even before people start to cheer*
...
:prev: Just...just go to the break.
*commercial*
:prev: Ok, Spam, that was great. But you're just a wee bit kooky. Result of Pals, much?
*A bowler-hatted, severely-dressed, dignified gentleman quietly draws back the curtain to survey the stage and the audience beyond. He appears to converse with a party concealed within.*
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/laneicon.gif): All security teams are in place, sir, and the audience appears desperate for a change of guests. Prior to your engagement this evening, I instructed Mr. Rave to commence a whisper campaign regarding Master Spam's alleged listeriosis infection. I believe the stratagem may have borne rancid fruit, sir.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): Capital, Lane! All must go according to plan, tonight, Lane, for this is my opportunity to prove to the world that our administration has the idleness, the foppery, the sheer aestheticism necessary to lead this realm into a new era of prosperity.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/laneicon.gif): As you wish, sir. I believe that Mr. Previsionary is prepared to issue your cue. "Break a leg," sir, as they say in the theatre.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): I fully intend to do so, thank you, Lane. Tonight, we usher in a new gelded age for the Sacred Pink Gin Mill.
*exits*
ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Fop o' th' Morning
*Prev glares at tiobe as he makes his away across the stage. No doubt remembering a time where he almost attacked Tiobe but...didn't.*
commercial ends
:prev: Welcome back, folks, and let's welcome our new leader, Tiobe!
*the crowd cheers and the woman holding the randy sign tosses a tomato at tiobe as he takes his seat*
:prev: Well, looks like you've got some enemies. This seems to be the norm for you these days. How do you feel about this, hero and leader of the gin mill/house of delicate doilies?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): Well, Mr. Preliminary, I fancy I should take the opportunity to declare that my administration is steadfastly opposed to norms. As you may recall, my manservant Lane and I ran on the Anomie Party ticket. The campaign run was a difficult one, I can tell you, given that it had no clear direction, no obvious destination, and no breaks for a cup of tea and a bit of cucumber sandwich. In fact, 'tis not clear to me that we have yet finished running the campaign. Is my appearance tonight for a fundraiser, or did you summon me here to resolve unfinished business about that sheep-shearing pyramid scheme in Leeds that lost me the twenty pounds I still owe my haberdasher?
*:prev (mentally): Previsionary, buster. <_< I'm not even going to address your questions.*
:prev: I see. Not only will I ignore that question, I'll also pretend you don't eat cucumber sandwiches. I'm sure you're planning on reforming the Fiefdom into a more dignified place with less killings, right? Why don't you just share with us some of your plans for the place?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): I am so very pleased that you asked that question, Mr. Prolapse! My cabinet and I have examined this question thoroughly, and we have developed a five-point plan to completely redo the cabinets...and the divans in the grand salon, not to mention those bloodstained draperies in the master butchery. We are still holding budget hearings about the programme, but rest assured that implementation will take place over the next five years. It may be the responsibility of my successor to determine the future of a rack--a particularly troublesome article of furniture discovered in the Rococo boudoir that Mr. Ripoff, my predecessor, seems to have left in disarray--but I am confident that my administration will lay the foundation for changing the face of that region...of the Prime Minister's residence.
*:prev (mentally): P-R-E-V-I-S-I-O-N-A-R-Y...understand it?*
:prev: You know what's funny, Tiobe? You and I had very light interaction in the past. Thanks to some unfortunate time loop and your trip to limbo, we never got to have a showdown. I heard you traveled to France recently to take on some other big foe, how was it?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): Zounds! I had no notion that this would be such an inquisitional interview, Mr. Prophylaxis. I am bound to say that I am not at liberty to disclose my whereabouts or my objectives during the sojourn in question, but suffice it to say that those seditious mollusks will not be troubling our bons amis across the Channel for the foreseeable future.
*audience cheers, randy's supporter boos and hisses*
:prev: Well, enough of this sweet talk, let's really pick your mind here. There's been various talks of uprisings and hostile takeovers and your reign hasn't even begun. Are you nervous? Scared? You have some pretty big names out trying to take off your head, so to speak.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): Pshaw, Mr. Promontory! There is no need for hyperbole at this, the nativity of my term. I have it on good authority from the brilliant gentlemen at SMF that all names, whether friend or foe, will appear in the same font size within the confines of the Gin Mill. By working with SMF, I plan to deliver my promise of "liberté, égalité, frivolité" to the people in this, our new republic; consequently, there will be no citizen of the Gin Mill whose name is bigger than thine or mine--you may take my word on that.
*:prev (mentally): :huh:*
:prev: Do you really think you can take on someone like Randy? He has a history of getting what he wants.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): *chuckle* See here, Mr. Pretext, I am gratified to know that this "Randy" fellow is a man who satisfies his ambitions, but I must first ask you what the man does. Can he sweep a chimney or clear the drains? Has he mastered the art of topiary or general landscaping? You can hardly expect me to take the man on and pay him an honest day's wage if I haven't the foggiest idea what trade he practices, now can you?
*:prev (mentally): Must...get...Randy...on...show...ASAP! :twisted:*
:prev: Ok, the segment is running a bit long, so let's head to break. But, before we go, Tiobe, why don't you tell us about the little champ beside you? Spam, was it? Yeah, talk about him. Will he be your number two?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v243/ow_tiobe_sb/phantombunburyisticon.gif): Why, Mr. Priapus, I am astonished! I was under the impression that I was discoursing with a gentleman, but I have been maliciously deceived! I refuse to answer that question on the basis that it would be unbecoming of me to dignify it. While Master Spam often does resemble a bit of half-digested meat byproduct, I must remind you that I am a notorious vegetarian and would never dream of making him my, my..."number two," as you say in your vulgar fashion. Is that the sort of base cant you exchange in the former colonies? Egads! A few centuries removed from the influence of Her Majesty, and this is the type of depraved speech one encounters from the degenerate savages of the New World!
*:prev (mentally): Are all these Pal dweebs mental? IT'S PREVISIONARY! :banghead:*
:prev: Alright, blowhard, commercial break time. Why don't you sit here for a bit and allow us to play a small little game before you leave? That's right folks...Spam and Tiobe will be participating in a bit of trivia fun...depending on whether or not something doesn't explode or a chair isn't thrown.
*image of kitty-omni tossing a chair into the audience as the screen cuts into a commercial*
:prev: Ok, we're in break. Tiobe, my name...it's previsionary. It'd be best if you remembered this in the future unless you want your right arm hanging out your stomach and your left attached to your spine. How would your outfits fit then?
*prev stands up and points to the gameshow stage where a giant projection screen sits comfortably between two panels and a wooden stool.*
:prev: If you two wouldn't mind participating, we're gonna play a small game and try to get to know you both better. You two decide among yourselves, I've gotta disappear for a bit.
*pops out of existence leaving a small trail of shadowy smoke*
*Unless the organizer(s) of this thread deem(s) otherwise, the figure that is often represented by a :santa: is sitting in the audience, wielding the deadliest of devices: 2 bags. The bag on the right contains 10 rotten tomatoes, 5 old smelly cabbages, and 1 golf club, while the bag on the left contains a duck with serious issues. The bag on the right is currently sealed, so as to not fill himself with nausea. The bag on the left is mostly sealed, with the only opening of any kind being air-holes.
Quote from: Previsionary on June 19, 2008, 03:48:47 PM
*:prev (mentally): Must...get...Randy...on...show...ASAP! :twisted:*
I don't do television...just pain!
*drenches and then tases ow_tiobe_sb*
:spam: "Yeah, I guess I'm up for some trivia... as long as there's a question about Star Wars in there."
FORIAMSPAM!
* In the midst of the crowd the Phantom Eyebrow sits inconspicuous behind a disguise of dark glasses and a fake moustache *
Quote from: Spam on June 19, 2008, 09:42:19 PM
:spam: "Yeah, I guess I'm up for some trivia... as long as there's a question about Star Wars in there."
FORIAMSPAM!
*reforms in the hosting seat and coughs*
:prev: Well, Spam, since Tiobe was just tasered...I think you'll have to wait for the trivia. Just sit there and wait for our next guest! After the commercial break.
*break*
*behind the curtain, the rotten remains of DJ sits nervously twitching. The idea of television time grinds on what remains on his mind, forcing him to go to his backup plan for nerves.....VODKA! Bottles upon bottles quickly pass through his hands to his mouth and back into thin air, until finally fifeteen bottles have been devoured. All that's left for him to do now, is wait...and wait...and wait....and broil his revenge flavored sandwich...and wait!*
*The break ends and prev slightly fidgets in his seat as a hyper Spam does...something.*
:prev: Ok, people, welcome out Death Jester!
*DJ comes shambling from behind the curtain towards Prev. However before he gets there he trips over one of the television cords on the floor and falls flat out before Prev.*
DJ: Ach..that bloody well moved me spleen!
*:prev (mentally): Wow...he's much more of a doofus than I usually accredit to him.*
*crowd applauds and then covers their noses. Seconds later, they put on their oxygen masks*
:prev: You really know how to shut up a room huh? Lucky for me, I don't breathe.
DJ: Oh yeah, ye know, the flies and such do that all the time. Course seeing as ye nothing but a two-bit crack w***e, I would think you'd shut the room up quite fast too!
:prev: *with eyebrow raised* Watch it, freak, I'd restore your life only to strip it out of you again. Now, let's get to it. I hear that you recently joined a superhero team and two of your teammates happened to have just been on the show. What do you think of the team and your comrades?
DJ: Well, while the group has been quite interesting I'm a bit worried about that Spam fellow. I mean, he's canned meat?!?!?! That can't be sanitary. Plus they keep cleaning my couch, which really pisses me off! I mean, it's my couch! If I want to bring it to life with my own goo then let it happen! QUIT CLEANING ME COUCH!!!
*:prev (mentally): When a dead things starts speaking about sanitation issues, then there's certainly a problem.*
:prev: Mhm, I hear you went to France where you lost your arms for a few good hours. There's also talk of zombies and huge *beep* dogs. How was that experience for you? Oh, how was the French booze? You went to France right? My producers can't really confirm if you went to France or London, England.
DJ: I think it was France, I cannae remember either. I mean, I was pretty soused on vodka and rubbing alcohol during that adventure. 'ell, I don't even remember losing me arms or anything like that. I do remember the zombies, which was pretty cool. Never knew I could control them and all...course that could've been a result of that French booze. That stuff is so bitter!
:prev: So I see. You were recently in the run to become the next leader of the fiefdom but you didn't make it as an actual nominee. How do you feel about that and how do you feel about tiobe being in a leadership position?
DJ: I'm outright unhappy! I mean, I've beena round longer than tiobe so I should've had first shot at being in a leadership position. That and I have more experience than Tiobe at leading things. Remember I am the leader of the Undead Jalapeneo Horde after all. *A clip of the Undead Jalapeneo Horde facing off against randy's Sharkmen appears beside DJ* Ahhh...that was such a fun fight.
:prev: There's been a bit of talk of an uprising--
woman: YEAH! DOWN WITH TIOBE *a tomato is tossed onto stage*
:prev: ...There's been talk of uprisings and I want to know if you've been planning your own rebellion against Tiobe's rule?
DJ: Maybe...but I won't reveal anything else with him around here! I might be stupid but not utterly stupid!
*:prev (mentally): Could've fooled me! :o*
:prev: Well, we're almost out of time, but one more question before we set up for a surprise ending. Do you really think Randy will take down Tiobe? He's the most ruthless villain of them all and there's no doubt that he's just waiting for the right moment to overthrow Tiobe.
DJ:Not without 'elp, I mean Tiobe's bloody language would stop Randy right off. I mean, where the 'ell does he get some of these words and why can't he bloody well talk like a normal freaking person!
*:prev (mentally): Says the dead guy...*
:prev: Well, let's get the stage setup and say thank you to our guests. You guys got a few moments to talk among yourselves as we head into a commercial.
*camera focuses in on the screen just to the right of prev as a scene of BriGonitioner appears on the screen as we head into yet another break.*
:prev: Ok, DJ...you know what we have to do.
*tosses a foam bat into DJ's hand and walks across the stage onto a rising platform*
:prev: If you're man enough...oh, you can do something too, Spam-a-lot.
*grabs the foam bat and heads towards the raised platform*
DJ: "Oh, I'm man enough! Let's get this bloody thing done with, my undead jalapeno horde members are getting bored with ye ignorant blabber! But I am not touching that canned meat over there!" *points his bat at Spammy* "Even the dead have some things we won't mess with!"
*raises eyebrow*
:prev: Pathetic dingbat.
*effortlessly lifts DJ, using telekinesis, onto the rising platform and waits until the platform stop at an even 50ft in the air*
:prev: The game's simple...this balance beam thing will be our battlezone. When the alarm rings...*brandishes bat* I'm going for your FRICKIN' head!
*15 second clock counts down just as the commercial ends*
Quote from: Previsionary on June 25, 2008, 05:07:32 PM
*raises eyebrow*
:prev: Pathetic dingbat.
*effortlessly lifts DJ, using telekinesis, onto the rising platform and waits until the platform stop at an even 50ft in the air*
:prev: The game's simple...this balance beam thing will be our battlezone. When the alarm rings...*brandishes bat* I'm going for your FRICKIN' head!
*15 second clock counts down just as the commercial ends*
*yawns slightly*
DJ: "I am not a pathetic dingbat, in fact I have a perfect strategy to beat ye frickin' @$$ in! And I'm not scared of ye going for me head...it's detachable...ye jerk!"
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 25, 2008, 04:52:18 PM
"But I am not touching that canned meat over there!" *points his bat at Spammy* "Even the dead have some things we won't mess with!"
Aww, come on man. What are ya, turkey, I mean, ham, I mean, chicken?
FORIAMSPAM!
Quote from: Spam on June 26, 2008, 10:53:30 AM
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 25, 2008, 04:52:18 PM
"But I am not touching that canned meat over there!" *points his bat at Spammy* "Even the dead have some things we won't mess with!"
Aww, come on man. What are ya, turkey, I mean, ham, I mean, chicken?
FORIAMSPAM!
*Throws the
duck with serious issues to the stage.*
Quote from: kkhohoho on June 26, 2008, 11:58:00 AM
Quote from: Spam on June 26, 2008, 10:53:30 AM
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 25, 2008, 04:52:18 PM
"But I am not touching that canned meat over there!" *points his bat at Spammy* "Even the dead have some things we won't mess with!"
Aww, come on man. What are ya, turkey, I mean, ham, I mean, chicken?
FORIAMSPAM!
*Throws the duck with serious issues to the stage.*
*Throws Khohoho on stage*
He has more issues than the duck
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 26, 2008, 10:09:49 AM
Quote from: Previsionary on June 25, 2008, 05:07:32 PM
*raises eyebrow*
:prev: Pathetic dingbat.
*effortlessly lifts DJ, using telekinesis, onto the rising platform and waits until the platform stop at an even 50ft in the air*
:prev: The game's simple...this balance beam thing will be our battlezone. When the alarm rings...*brandishes bat* I'm going for your FRICKIN' head!
*15 second clock counts down just as the commercial ends*
*yawns slightly*
DJ: "I am not a pathetic dingbat, in fact I have a perfect strategy to beat ye frickin' @$$ in! And I'm not scared of ye going for me head...it's detachable...ye jerk!"
*10*
:prev: You (beep)!
*9*
:prev: I'll rip you limb to limb without my magic!
*8*
:prev: And without my telekinesis and telepathy!
*7*
:prev: Though the latter won't work on ya anyway!
*6*
*5*
*4*
:prev: You're going down! *throws foam bat and DJ's right leg*
*3*
*2*
:prev: What? Commercial's almost over! Gotta go!
*1, prev effortlessly reforms in his chair leaving DJ stranded on the platform*
:prev: WELCOME BACK! KKHO! SPAM! DUCK! Take your issues elsewhere. Next up on the talkshow, you ask? VAMP! Let's give the guy a few minutes to get ready and this show will be on a roll!
*:prev (mentally): Poor, DJ...by now he should know not to trust a villain. Idget. ^_^*
*Grabs the duck and heads back to his seat in the audience.*
*Vamp sits behind the curtain twiddling his thumbs in anticipation. To make matters worse, he remembers that he hates cameras....and Prev. Vamp walks to restroom to relax. A loud screech is heard from the restroom, breaking all the glass in the vicinity.*
Vamp: Well that feels better....
Staff: Its time fro you to go....
*Vamp slowly walks onto stage only to realize that he has toilet paper stuck on his shoe, which he then flings at DJ*
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 01:40:02 PM
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 26, 2008, 10:09:49 AM
Quote from: Previsionary on June 25, 2008, 05:07:32 PM
*raises eyebrow*
:prev: Pathetic dingbat.
*effortlessly lifts DJ, using telekinesis, onto the rising platform and waits until the platform stop at an even 50ft in the air*
:prev: The game's simple...this balance beam thing will be our battlezone. When the alarm rings...*brandishes bat* I'm going for your FRICKIN' head!
*15 second clock counts down just as the commercial ends*
*yawns slightly*
DJ: "I am not a pathetic dingbat, in fact I have a perfect strategy to beat ye frickin' @$$ in! And I'm not scared of ye going for me head...it's detachable...ye jerk!"
*10*
:prev: You (beep)!
*9*
:prev: I'll rip you limb to limb without my magic!
*8*
:prev: And without my telekinesis and telepathy!
*7*
:prev: Though the latter won't work on ya anyway!
*6*
*5*
*4*
:prev: You're going down! *throws foam bat and DJ's right leg*
*3*
*2*
:prev: What? Commercial's almost over! Gotta go!
*1, prev effortlessly reforms in his chair leaving DJ stranded on the platform*
:prev: WELCOME BACK! KKHO! SPAM! DUCK! Take your issues elsewhere. Next up on the talkshow, you ask? VAMP! Let's give the guy a few minutes to get ready and this show will be on a roll!
*:prev (mentally): Poor, DJ...by now he should know not to trust a villain. Idget. ^_^*
*throws his foam bat down in rage!*
DJ: "Ye started this fight and now ye run the (beep) away from me!!! Oh I shall get ye for this, ye bloody idiot!"
*concentrates really hard and calls upon his undead jalapeneo horde to save him*
*prev stares at DJ with a smirk*
:prev: Be careful, DJ, wouldn't want you to fall or lay bricks...plz don't lay bricks!
*a gust of wind blows by as a piece of tissue flies towards DJ thrown by vamp*
:prev: Welcome to the show VAMP VAMPIRE RODRIGUEZ!
Vamp: Uhmm, my name is Vamp, just Vamp. Like Cher.
:prev: Yes, I know it's not your name. It just sounds better. Accept it.
Vamp: Only if you accept that shirt makes you look fat.
:prev: Mhm, moving on. I've never had to chance to actually meet you. Tell us a bit about yourself. Hero, villain, powers, whatever.
Vamp: Well I technically am a hero, but my methods can sometimes cross the boundaries. Not to say I am not a nice guy, I just do what has to be done. My powers are sound based so as you can imagine, things can get pretty...destructive to say the least, so to limit that I have learned various fighting styles to dispatch my enemies quickly.
:prev (mentally): He's Batman.
:prev: I hear that you recently tried to set syn on fire and you even went so far as to plan a small uprising against Tiobe. Do you not like them?
Vamp: Of course I like them! If I didn't I wouldn't have done these things. This is how I show my love. By the way, when you get that package from me, make sure not to shake it too hard.
:prev: Like them or not, that is a pretty horrific thing to do. I approve. Also, what package? I don't get mail where I live. While we're on the subject of Tiobe, do you think he's going to have a good stint as a leader? If so, why? If not, then do you think someone else is better equipped for the job? OOO, how do you think Randy will go after Tiobe? It's a 3 part question.
Vamp: Lets just say the contents of that package are so fun that it will bite you in the crouch and give you rabies.
*:unsure:*
But lets get back to the topic of Leadership. While Tiobe wasn't my first pick in this election, i do believe he will be.....well he will just be Tiobe. As for how randy will dispatch him, it will probably be the most vicious thing he can imagine....So the plan is obviously to have his Shark-Mentm tickle him till he poos out his intestines.
*Vamp imagines this and starts to snicker*
:prev: Now, you may know me as a bad *beep* villain, and I won't disagree, but tell us a little about your rogue gallery? Who do you find yourself fighting on a regular basis?
Vamp: I usually fight Chiro, myself proclaimed nemesis. I also have a few other enemies, but the just aren't as much of an annoyance as he is.
:prev: Well, we're about to head into a break. One more question and maybe we will take some questions from the audience...or maybe we'll just go to the next guest...whatever. So, um, you fancy yourself a skinner, no? Tell us a bit about your creative process. How do you get yourself started and stay motivated?
Vamp: I am appalled at such allegations! I have never once taken the skin from anyone!...Oh you mean on the computer....
Well my creative process I just I see something or hear something that makes an idea click. It isn't very different than most peoples. As for keeping myself interested, I really don't know. I really don't seeing as I am prone to hiatuses
:prev: Ok, well, commercial break. Got any last words for us, batboy?
Vamp: I like pie?
*audience cheers, take out forks, and begin to eat pie*
:prev: It's just like a commercial. Wave to DJ, folks!
*everyone waves*
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 03:00:19 PM
*prev stares at DJ with a smirk*
:prev: Be careful, DJ, wouldn't want you to fall or lay bricks...plz don't lay bricks!
*a gust of wind blows by as a piece of tissue flies towards DJ thrown by vamp*
:*audience cheers, take out forks, and begin to eat pie*
:prev: It's just like a commercial. Wave to DJ, folks!
*everyone waves*
*a helicopter full of undead jalapenoes comes fluttering in towards DJ's precarious spot, a rope ladder suspended from the side door*
DJ: "Haha!!! My minions have arrived to save me!"
*grabs the suspended rope ladder and pulls himself up to the chopper*
DJ: "Fly me down to the couch, my minions! For now I shall mete out my revenge on this disgusting and cowardly being known as Prev!"
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 26, 2008, 03:32:04 PM
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 03:00:19 PM
*prev stares at DJ with a smirk*
:prev: Be careful, DJ, wouldn't want you to fall or lay bricks...plz don't lay bricks!
*a gust of wind blows by as a piece of tissue flies towards DJ thrown by vamp*
:*audience cheers, take out forks, and begin to eat pie*
:prev: It's just like a commercial. Wave to DJ, folks!
*everyone waves*
*a helicopter full of undead jalapenoes comes fluttering in towards DJ's precarious spot, a rope ladder suspended from the side door*
DJ: "Haha!!! My minions have arrived to save me!"
*grabs the suspended rope ladder and pulls himself up to the chopper*
DJ: "Fly me down to the couch, my minions! For now I shall mete out my revenge on this disgusting and cowardly being known as Prev!"
*stares*
:prev: DJ, one day you'll realize I'm a mage.
*shoots lightning towards the copter followed by conjuring up 50 bottles of vodka that sit idly on the platform DJ once occupied*
:prev: Now, while DJ is being pointless, let's prepare for our next guest...someone who dies a lot!
*Points and laughs at DJ, while he ponders the about the next guest*
Vamp: I don't care who he is, he ain't getting my pie!
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 03:47:47 PM
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 26, 2008, 03:32:04 PM
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 03:00:19 PM
*prev stares at DJ with a smirk*
:prev: Be careful, DJ, wouldn't want you to fall or lay bricks...plz don't lay bricks!
*a gust of wind blows by as a piece of tissue flies towards DJ thrown by vamp*
:*audience cheers, take out forks, and begin to eat pie*
:prev: It's just like a commercial. Wave to DJ, folks!
*everyone waves*
*a helicopter full of undead jalapenoes comes fluttering in towards DJ's precarious spot, a rope ladder suspended from the side door*
DJ: "Haha!!! My minions have arrived to save me!"
*grabs the suspended rope ladder and pulls himself up to the chopper*
DJ: "Fly me down to the couch, my minions! For now I shall mete out my revenge on this disgusting and cowardly being known as Prev!"
*stares*
:prev: DJ, one day you'll realize I'm a mage.
*shoots lightning towards the copter followed by conjuring up 50 bottles of vodka that sit idly on the platform DJ once occupied*
:prev: Now, while DJ is being pointless, let's prepare for our next guest...someone who dies a lot!
*laughs uncontrollably*
DJ: "As if 50 bottles of vodka and thunder would work against one such as I and my horde of undead jalapeneos! I mean it be nothing but a trifle amount of work there for nothing!"
*downs the fifty bottle of vodka in less than three minutes*
DJ: "HA! And no effect what so ever! No bring me close, my minions, for I shall see this fight to the end!"
Vamp: There shall be no revenge without pre-revenge!
*Sends out his crowd of hungry salsa-makers*
Vamp: Feast my comrades, the war has just begun! But make sure to be finished before the next guest comes out.
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 26, 2008, 04:01:27 PM
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 03:47:47 PM
Quote from: Deaths Jester on June 26, 2008, 03:32:04 PM
Quote from: Previsionary on June 26, 2008, 03:00:19 PM
*prev stares at DJ with a smirk*
:prev: Be careful, DJ, wouldn't want you to fall or lay bricks...plz don't lay bricks!
*a gust of wind blows by as a piece of tissue flies towards DJ thrown by vamp*
:*audience cheers, take out forks, and begin to eat pie*
:prev: It's just like a commercial. Wave to DJ, folks!
*everyone waves*
*a helicopter full of undead jalapenoes comes fluttering in towards DJ's precarious spot, a rope ladder suspended from the side door*
DJ: "Haha!!! My minions have arrived to save me!"
*grabs the suspended rope ladder and pulls himself up to the chopper*
DJ: "Fly me down to the couch, my minions! For now I shall mete out my revenge on this disgusting and cowardly being known as Prev!"
*stares*
:prev: DJ, one day you'll realize I'm a mage.
*shoots lightning towards the copter followed by conjuring up 50 bottles of vodka that sit idly on the platform DJ once occupied*
:prev: Now, while DJ is being pointless, let's prepare for our next guest...someone who dies a lot!
*laughs uncontrollably*
DJ: "As if 50 bottles of vodka and thunder would work against one such as I and my horde of undead jalapeneos! I mean it be nothing but a trifle amount of work there for nothing!"
*downs the fifty bottle of vodka in less than three minutes*
DJ: "HA! And no effect what so ever! No bring me close, my minions, for I shall see this fight to the end!"
*yawns*
:prev: We'll continue this in a few minutes, I have people to interview and vamp's pie to destroy.
*suspends DJ's copter in time for the next five minutes along with vamp's army.*
:prev: now vamp, I won't blame you if you want to set a fire on his copter. ^_^
*Throws A vodka-molotov at DJ's copter*
Vamp:"Not only have I lit your copter on fire, but i have wasted perfectly good vodka"
*prev stares around the stage and simply smirks totally unaffected by the display of violence.*
:prev(mentally): Today...is a good day.
*cue music*
:prev: Well, let's give a life-restoring round of applause for our next guest, MJB!
*audience roars and claps*
:prev: Heh, that oughta keep you alive for a few more minutes right, MJB?
:mjb: The way things tend to go down in this forum I highly doubt it. LOL.
:prev: So, how have you been? I hear reports that someone recently killed you a few months back.
:mjbdeadagain Wow. Who hasn't killed me? I stopped counting a long time ago.
:prev: I don't know if I could approve of someone killing me...but you do die a lot. So, you were basically the catalyst for the change in leadership in the fiefdom, were you not? What sparked that idea?
:mjb: I actually found a long lost Fiefdom law that Mr. Ripoff tried to keep hidden. I showed it to the other moderators but they were, shall we say, a bit iffy about crossing Randy. Those who cross him have the tendency of becoming shark bait. LOL.
With my ability to come back from any un-natural death the job of presenting it to the people fell on my shoulders.
To tell the truth I expected a lot more blood shed during the election. ;)
*audience applauds and a the woman hailing Randy tosses a lettuce onto the stage*
:prev: Well, when a lettuce is tossed onto stage, then it's almost time to go. MJB, two more questions before you take off. Numero Uno, what are your powers and how do you utilize them in fights?
:mjb: Powers eh? I have the ability to manipulate cold. I can create ice from the moisture in the air and form it into various objects. In battle I can create ice gloves, swords, axe's or just plain freeze people.
The rez thing is odd. I can come back from any un-natural death. It really doesn't help in battle very much since it's highly unstable and unpredictable. I never know how long I'm going to stay dead. It can be seconds, minutes or days.
:prev: AAAAAANNNNDDDD, numero dos, if you had your choice of a new fiefdom leader, who would it be and why? Also, just a bonus question, how would Randy kill them?
:mjb: It's hard to top Randy. Randy ruled the Fiefdom with an iron fist ( :gauntlet: ). If I was forced to pick someone other than Randy I would have Gday to run it. He would be chained to his throne and electric whip bearing monkeys would force him to dictate 24 hours a day!
As for the bonus question I suppose Randy would send a giant Milkdud box that secretly housed blood thirst Sharkmen™. Knowing Gday's mad Milkdud cravings I don't think he would stand a chance.
:prev: Ahhh, milkduds, the fall of all good men who enjoy them. I don't, but that's not important. Thanks for your time, MJB< and Vamp...you sit right here...
*places vamp next to the guest seat*
:prev: We have a special guest coming up next. A villain!
*audience "OOOs"*
:prev: And if things go well...there won't be any destruction!
*Backstage Syn is standing in a dark corner, a stagehand rushes past, tripping and tugging on Syn's cape as he falls, seconds later the audience get a treat as what appears to be a panicked male in a headset enters the stage, hurtling backwards at alarming speed and quickly exits the opposite side, followed by a large crash*
Quote from: vamp on June 26, 2008, 04:15:35 PM
*Throws A vodka-molotov at DJ's copter*
Vamp:"Not only have I lit your copter on fire, but i have wasted perfectly good vodka"
*jumps off his copter in anger*
DJ: "Oh yea bloody idiot...ye wasted vodka!!! And Prev told ye too!! I'll get him!!!"
* TUE enters backstage
"hey this isn't the female cast of charmed vs the female buffy cast bikini volleyball game, he lied to me again*
:prev: Ok, let's welcome out one of the many villains I've yet to have a chance to encounter, Syn!
*audience cheers, then hisses, then boos, then cheers*
:prev: Welcome, Syn. I think the sign is broken or something. Wassup?
*Syn lowers himself slowly backwards into the stage seating, shifting his cape slightly as he does, the dark leather costume in its grim appearance standing out like a morbid sore thumb against the bright lights and overly comfy looking chair, he turns to the sofa next to him, the previous guests sitting there reflect faintly in his visor as he turns back to the host, as he speaks he sounds like a burns victim, muffled harshly by the heavy leather mask stitched around his head*
Syn: "what kind of lavish hell is this? when a minion informs me i'm to meet a kindred spirit, I was not expecting to find myself in some form of meat bag circus. someone will be recieving a number 9 upon my return.
*Syn begins to look around the studio, although his mask prevents any form of expression being shown, he clearly finds it distasteful*
:prev: Now, you and my evil twin, Prem, used to work for King Be during his reign, correct? how was your experience with that (beep)?
*Syn's head quickly snaps back to the hosts direction with unnatural quickness and a sickening click*
Syn: "I assure you I have no idea what you're blathering on about, tho I dont keep records of the insignificants, take that as you will.
*Syn surveys the studio again, Syn appears to notice for the first time what appears to be batman after being stuck in the wardrobe for too long, Syn cant help but think the character is way too comfortable sitting in the light like this, the irritation starts to show as he begins to tap hs fingers, the small sharp tips at the fingertips of his heavy costume begin to make light work of the armrests upholstery*
:prev: Now, I don't know much about you, but I do know you've had several costume changes and your history is so murky that my producers didn't know what to tell me for this interview. Why don't you expand on youself a bit so we, the audience, can understand you better.
Syn: "Not so much costume change, as a body change, usually these meat bags burn out too fast, but from time to time I get a juicy one, you get the odd surise, like taking a body who dousnt even realise they have powers
*a throaty chuckle emanates from syn's mask*
:prev: And how about your powers? I hear that you might be pyrokinetic...
Syn: "In a former body I had a certain... affinity for the flame, i'm slowly working through the minds of these cattle to work out how that one body could switch that on, powers as such change from body to body, some can take the strain of being pushed further than others, depending on how far I can take them, I just switch on a few things in their near useless meaty heads, and instant evolution."
:prev: Ok, we're running out of time, so I'll ask you 1 or two more questions. You fancy yourself an artist/skinner, right? Tell us a bit about your work.
Syn: "I dabble where my time permits, tho times have been somewhat.... constraining recently."
:prev: And...have anything left to say or shoutout? Don't go crazy...kids watch this show!
*syn turns to the annoying thing-bat on the couch*
Syn: "Can I kill this one?."
:prev: And we're out! Thanks for stopping by, sir Syn...and wave to DJ! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.
*Syn turns back to the host*
Syn: "really... it irritates me....."
:prev: I like your style...GO FOR IT!
*audience cheers*
:prev: Now, let's go to break as our next stretchy guest prepares himself! Vamp, might wanna...run.
*break*
*prev eyes protomorph as he stands completely nonchalant behind the curtains. Something about this hero irritates him.*
...
*the audience cheers up a storm and prev just growls as the commercial break ends and proto walks onto the stage*
:prev: Let's welcome out the guy you people treat like a star, Protomorph!
*audience cheers*
:prev: Now, proto...you and I haven't met at all, but I know you're a hero. Wanna tell us a bit about yourself and your powers?
:cool: I am pretty strong, I can shapeshift and fly.
:prev: I hear your powers have something to do with stretching as well, how does that help you in the dating department?
:cool: yes, I can stretch as well along with the shapeshifting. I don't like to kiss and tell...suffice to say, I haven't had any complaints. One huge benefit of my powers, is that I can be anyone my lady love interest would like me to be.
:prev (while nodding): Well, I know you weren't exactly active around here when Tiobe took the reigns from Randy. How do you think he'll do?
:cool: I wasn't much of an active participant, but as a Moderator, I was keeping an eye on things, disguised as one of Randy's sharks. As for how Tiobe will fare, I'm sure he'll distinguish himself at least as much as Earnest has.
:prev: I'm a little shocked since he's the only guy to usurp Randy. Ian went on a crusade to do it and you see how well that went...everyone just lost their powers.
:cool: Yeah, I gotta give the little Bunburyest his props. It takes a lot of moxie to unseat the wielder of the Iron Fist.
:prev: So, if you could be ruler of this place, how would things be different?
:cool: If I was ruler, nobody would know about it. I'm a behind the scenes kind of guy. Comes with the shapeshifting, I guess. Infiltration is a specialty of mine.
:prev: Ok, one more question before we go to break...who...is...your...favorite...artist...AND WHY!
:cool: Musical Artist: The Beatles. Comic Artist: Alex Ross.
:prev: Well, thanks for your time, Sir Proto. Say hello to DJ! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.
:cool: Hi DJ!
----
:prev: And at this point of the show, I'll let everyone know that this completely wacky season is almost over. The audience has been super tame outside of vamp and kkho and...my guest have been super polite. I want you all to know that...*ties DJ to a rocket and sends him flying into space*
...
:prev: Eggzackly. Me next guest is getting ready and I'm sure he'll be fun...or not.
Quote from: Previsionary on June 29, 2008, 08:28:40 PM
*syn turns to the annoying thing-bat on the couch*
Syn: "Can I kill this one?."
:prev: And we're out! Thanks for stopping by, sir Syn...and wave to DJ! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.
*Syn turns back to the host*
Syn: "really... it irritates me....."
:prev: I like your style...GO FOR IT!
*audience cheers*
:prev: Now, let's go to break as our next stretchy guest prepares himself! Vamp, might wanna...run.
*break*
Vamp:"Here is the deal, you can kill me if you can use your
own body. But seeing as you can not do such things, the very least you can do is bathe one of those bodies. I mean really wearing all that leather and forgetting deodorant is never a good idea."
*Sprays Syn with disinfectant and hands him deodorant*
Vamp: I may be a bat, be even i have standards.
(technichally syn dousnt HAVE a body, he never has, psychic parasite and all)
(Technically I knew that ;))
Don't get technical with us.
*Backstage, Zippo stuffs his face at the snack table*
:zippo : Never been on TV before... Should do it more often; there's better food here than back home.
Stage director: Hey, you! Yeah! You! Get outta that stuff! It's for the guests!
:zippo : I... am a guest...
Stage director: What? You don't look like any hero or villain I've ever heard of.
:zippo : I'm Canadian...
Stage director: Cana- Oh right! Yeah, I guess yooze is on pretty soon then; and in that case: QUIT STUFFIN' YER FACE! YER ON SOON!
*prev smirks as Syn, Vamp, and Proto get into a random discussion over technicality and it quickly disappears as Zippo stands awkwardly behind the curtains*
...
:prev : Ok, let's welcome out...ZIPPO!
*crowd cheers and throws string onstage*
:prev(while removing strings): Zippo...how the heck are ya?
*Zippo walks out on stage, looking somewhat nervous, and takes a seat*
:zippo : Pretty decent, thanks Prev. How're the wife and kids?
:prev : Um, I guess they're fine. I'll let you know when they come into fruition. Now, I know you recently escaped that thing you meatbags call school, how does it feel?
:zippo : A little sore. Climbing over a razor-wire fence and dodging rabid attack dogs will do that to you.
:prev : MHM, I'm the equivalent to a demon so I don't share your experience. Tell me, don't you have a twin or something?
:zippo : Being grown in a lab as a living weapon, I can only assume; but I've never met one. Though I suppose it's only a matter of time before one is sent to bring me in. That's how these things work, right?
:prev : ...Because I recall working with someone that looks similar to you...Strings or something...
:zippo : I've heard of that guy; no relation. He strikes me as an unsavoury character. And to be honest, anyone who controls thousands of little black wiggly things puts me on edge.
:prev : Doesn't matter. Now, how do you feel about music? My producers tell me that you have some sort of interest in it.
:zippo : Ah! I love it! I tried forming a band with some fellow heroes because, y'know, all the famous people double up on jobs nowadays, but it was difficult. Our drummer was prone to transforming into a hulking purple beast that'd smash everything, though; he was popular with the Metal crowd.
:prev : You know...I have a pretty good vocal pipe. I'd write a song, call ya up, sing...then viciously destroy your soul as the song played in the background. Plan?
:zippo : Errr... No thanks... But if you want you can be the new lead singer in the band. The last one met an unfortunate end with a noodlefication ray.
*audience: :mellow:... :huh:... :o... :blink:... :wacko:*
:prev : Well, this has been very entertaining. One more question, when do you plan on returning to skinning?
:zippo : Well, to be honest, I've never been one for hunting, so taxidermy isn't all that appealing to me either.
:prev : Oh, I totally forgot about asking what your powers are...what are they?
:zippo : Well, y'see, it's somewhat complicated, but-
:prev : --and we're out! Adios, mis amigos!
*magically ports Zippo into the third guest seat*
:prev: now, my next guest is very special. We have quite a history and...well...he's the only person I've tried to destroy more so than that super dufus, premonitioner. Y'all just wait! Oh, I'm obligated to tell you that this season is very close to being over...
*points to someone in the audience*
:prev: YOU WILL BE IN THIS CHAIR! AND YOU...
*points to kkho*
:prev: I will get an interview with you and that duck. That duck...will be a star!
*break*
*A rather non-jolly soul did not think that he would be interviewed. Regardless, he begins to think of what he should say during the interview. After 30 seconds of deep, entrancing thought, he decides to just wing it. He would personally like to wing his duck onto a grill, but seeing as both himself and his duck are getting an interview, he decides to hold off on the idea.*
* The Phantom Eyebrow continues watching the show from his hidden position in the audience, admiring the banter and revelling in his own cleverness at the fine deception. He affords himself a celebratory moment to twirl the moustache.*
:eyebrow: *to self* "Hmmm... perhaps I should have opted for a monacle instead of these chunky specs"
*prev stares into the audience again and smirks. He's amused by a certain someone's attempt at hiding.*
:prev: Let's welcome out a pansy of a hero, TPE!
* The spectral ambassador of the cosmos registers surprise a moment that Prev has seen through his fine disguise so easily but nonetheless arrives on stage with composure intact and a wave for the adoring masses *
:prev: TPE, you and I have a downright awful relationship. I can't count how many times I've tried to kill you--
:eyebrow: { Prev, Prev, Prev... many have tried to kill The Phantom Eyebrow, and I may have at times allowed you the illusion that you had me running scared, if only to enterta-
:prev: Whatever...I ultimately get bored with you and just leave you to your own devices.
:eyebrow: ^_^ { This 'boredom' of yours is quite the self-preservation mechanism then...
:prev: I will kick you off this stage and then attack you!
:eyebrow: :angry: * Standing to his full height now and drawing his cape about him in a well-practiced manner * { You meddle with powers beyond your ken, Prev! There may (well indeed) be some kicking to be done, but the question is this: Will you be the kicker or the... :unsure: um... kickee...?
* The Eyebrow trails off now as his mind scrambles for a better retort *
*prev and the audience: :huh:*
:prev: Ok...let's calm down. We're neutral here.
:eyebrow: { Yes, well, neutrality is a dish best served... :huh: um...?
:prev: Well, thanks to you being annoying, I guess we need to go to break AND THEN get to the interview...jerk.
:eyebrow: :angry: { Oh yes!? Well, I'm rubber and you're glue!
:prev: Go to commercial!
* The Phantom sits a little uncomfortably in his chair, the odd stray bead of sweat running down brow *
:eyebrow: *under his breath* { 'Go to commerical' is it? Just when I had him on the ropes...
* He continues figiting in his chair as the commercials continue *
*prev enjoys TPE's figiting and amazingly, he hasn't done anything evil...yet. The commercial ends...*
:prev: Ok, look, we're gonna be calm and behaved now. No bad blood, ok?
* The Phantom seems more composed now, his brow no longer furrowed by the heady mix of indignation and confusion of a moment ago*
:eyebrow: :) { Of course Prev, delighted to be here.
:prev: So, TPE...you were in the run for fiefdom leader, how do you feel about losing to Tiobe and do you think he'll do a good job? The fiefdom has already crashed on his watch, keep that in mind.
* A slight twitch troubles the Phantom's eye now, which he seemingly attempts to smooth down by rubbing the palm of his hand across his temple *
:eyebrow: { Feel? How do I feel? Why, how could I feel anything but delight that the prole- that the voters have seen fit to entrust the leadership to this fine fellow? Already he has brought an air of culture to the place... shark attacks are down 34% year-on-year. And its great to see the Fiefdom's reigns (if you will) in the hands of one of the Phantasmal Avatar League of Superheroes.
:eyebrow: { I...I'm the leaders of PALS, you know!?
:prev: Now, I know you and I have fought against each other in some form and you have also worked with my evil twin...which one is the better fighter?
:eyebrow: { Oh but sure how can I answer that one? :unsure: He's not waiting in the wings or anything is he!?
*:prev (mentally): If he were, we'd be fighting right this friggin' moment, the stooge.*
:prev: Ok, I know you like Uriah Heep for some reason, what other music do you fancy?
:eyebrow: { Oh but I have an eclectic and varied taste... all sorts of music really... anything with a good Hammond solo.
:prev: Now tell the audience about yourself and your powers, phantom dimwit.
:eyebrow: { I'll let that attempt at a jibe pass. My powers are derived from the (very) essence of the cosmos. Never has a descriptor been more apt than my "spectral of aspect, hairy of brow". The spectrality speaks of my abillities to assume intangiblity or to fold space itself and teleport short distances. The, er, hairiness speaks also of my ability to visit great harm on those who would cross me. And through it all I am informed by the all-seeing Eye of Truth. How can one encompass such a range in a few mere sound-bites? How can one fully describe the mysterious enigma that is the Eyebow?
:prev: and before we go...a special guest!
:eyebrow: { No, no, make that enigmatic mystery. 'Enigmatic mystery' is better I feel.
:prev: Welcome out, Minuteman!
*clip of Minuteman knocking out TPE appears on the screen.
* The Eyebrow's face looks worried now and his throat starts to feel very dry *
:prev: Now, TPE, how do you feel about MM being out here after your last meeting?
:minute: For Glory! I'd like to believe that me and this fellow can get along! But as long as he steals my likeness--
:eyebrow: { Ah now that's a little unfair. I may use some of Minuteman's lines in battle but only as a tribute to the great man. He's truly a hero and an inspiration to all.
* This shameless display of buttering up continues for some time *
:minute: :thumbup:
*audience: :wub:*
:prev: Well, that's that. And if you two wanna go at it again...
*pool of jello is pushed onstage*
:prev: Might as well fully relive the past, huh? ^_^
* The Phantom Eyebrow, using one of his previously referred to powers, disappears from the stage 'in the blink of an eye' *
:prev: And that's the way an eyebrow escapes from an uncomfortable situation, y'all! Now, you guys will truly enjoy my next guest. He's a villain and he claims to be able to take on superman. I'll let your mind wonder as things are prepared.
*break*
*Aboard a vast, moon sized spacecraft, Carravaggio sits and broods. His allies and minions mill about behind him, apprehensive as he surveys all in his domain.
A particularly brave servant risks his life, and dares to approach his master.*
"M-my lord...you are the master of untold worlds! You have conquered entire realities! Forgive my brazenness, but what causes such a mood in one so powerful."
*Carravaggio does not turn to address the slave directly, but in his own time, replies in a solemn tone.*
"Long ago, ancient pacts were made, events set in motion that even my will cannot undo. Alas, e'en the Tyrant Star must adhere to his word."
*Mystified, the slave shakes his head in disbelief.*
"What dread deed does this unspoken bargain hold you to? For in truth, what could dare to dictate the will of the Conquerer?"
*Carravaggio rises from his throne, resolute.*
"Know this, loyal one. What I must do now, can never be spoken of. I must...appear of the Previsionary's talk show for an interview."
*The slave, struck dumb by terror, recovers, even as he shies away in disbelief.*
"N-No! It's too horrible! It cannot be!"
*Carravaggio at last looks at the lowly being who lives to enact his will.*
"It is. Pray for us all, if you like, but it will do little good."
*With that Carravaggio rises in the air and disappears in a flash of light. The slaves mill about in fear and confusion, and one reaches for the monitor screen to see if he can tune into the Prevsational Show"*
*prev smirks as the room begins to shake violently as a white, blinding light captures the attention of everyone present. Seconds later, a man materializes and his eyes glow with an incredible power that even amuses Prev...though he would never admit it aloud.*
:prev: Impressive
*Ok, maybe he would. The room tenses up as Carravaggio walks onto the stage. Prev's right brow rises up and a slight energy signature is displayed for mere seconds in the center of his forehead*
:prev: Welcome, Carravaggio. How are you?
Carravaggio: Replete with the responsibilities of commanding and protecting a vast galactic empire, forged by my own hands. And you?
:prev: I am fine as far as those words see fit when describing anything about me. I can sense several things in you. Dark things. Tell us about yourself, eh? Powers, enemies, abilities, etc.
Carravaggio: I spent centuries trapped in an ethereal alien dimension, absorbing the consciousnesses of untold alien creatures. I am the potential of a billion, billion beings.
:prev: Now, you and I haven't had a chance to meet...do you think you'd be able to withstand my wizardry and psychic prowess?
Carravaggio: Lets hope you don't have to find out.
:prev: Because not many fools can withstand any attack by me. Now, I can sense that you like to be artsy. Describe your artistic process to us, please?
Carravaggio: Did ou just call me a fool? *glare*
Carravaggio: A lifetime of immersion in the comicbook, fantasy and sci fi mediums and genres has imparted a deep visual library of imagery and knowledge in me. At times a shining thought will emerge from this molten cricible, one so bright it cannot be ignored, and its exorcism via the graphic mediums. These few years past, skinning and skoping has been my greatest outlet, though previously more traditional 2D mediums sufficed. I have found my creativity has shifted heavily towards the digital mediums of late.
:prev: Does this process apply to anything else?
Carravaggio: My writing as well, usually is the result of a moment of clarity which then seems to fall into place of its on volition.
*prev shoves the microphone towards Carra to get a clearer response*
Carravaggio: That is, the story seems to write itself. The process applies to almost anything I do, with the exception of my ongoing conquest of the many and varied galaxies. This is mapped in tandem with my War Council, a band of alien beings taken from worlds I have defeated.
:prev: Now, Carra, how would you handle a bunch of shadow demons trying to eat your soul?
Carravaggio: My typical response to overwhelming numbers or a particularly troublesome foe is to throw them into the nearest sun. That backfired recently on a radioactive enemy I combated on the fringe of a backwater system under my glorious command. He absorbed vast amounts of energy from the sun, returning more powerful that ever. It was revealed he had a tiny sun for a heart, and once that was forcibly removed, he became much more manageable. I now keep his heart on my mantle.
*audience Ooooos*
:prev: And I guess I should wrap this up. Have any parting words?
Carravaggio: Prepare for my arrival, prepare for defeat, prepare to be ruled. I cannot be stopped. I am Carravaggio, The Conquerer. I am the Tyrant Star.
prev: nicely...said...? Um...break.
*commercial break. The instant the cameras go off, Carravaggio is out of his seat and through the roof leaving debris and injuries in his wake*
:prev: typical villain! SOMEONE CLEAN THIS UP! Do I HAVE to do everything around here? <_<
Backstage, unobserved by most, a grim and dark figure monitors the goings-on onstage.
"Another villain, eh?", he mutters to himself. "He and Syn seem a bit out of my league, but I'm sure I could find at least one way to neutralize either of them, if I had the time."
"With all of these 'guests' being members of PALS, you'd think Prev (another villain I need to research more) had a product placement deal with them or something. What this show needs is an independant view, not some political toadie."
*prev, having mostly observed the cleaning crews process, smirks as he is alerted to his next guest's presence*
:prev: Let's welcome out, Panther_Gunn!
*crowd roars and 'snikts'*
:prev: Panther gunn...I have an issue with you.
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): Yeah? Take a number. What I do ain't always popular, but it gets the job done. However, I am legally obliged to inform you that if it has anything to do with clones, you'll have to take that up with Gday.....and his legal department.
:prev: I'll tell you what it is alright, you remind me of a wolverine clone. Wolverine clone 302. Are you in fact a wolverine clone, Panther gunn?
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): Well, if I am, I'm a definite improvement over that runt. And it'd *really* piss Gday off! But, I highly doubt it, as I'm sure some kind of alarm would have gone off by now with all the times I've been in & out of H.A.M.S.T.E.R. HQ.
:prev: Then set the record straight! Powers, abilities, and frequent villains, let us know.
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): As a villain, I'm sure you'd *love* to get your hands on that kind of info. All you gotta know is I'm quick, strong, there's nowhere you can hide that I can't find you, and I know more ways to knock someone around than Sven has done stupid things. As for villains, it's been mostly reports of clones lately (Gday pays his freelancers well). And I just plain don't like NightDragon. He sheds and he smells. The day Gday says he's not welcome around the HQ anymore, I'm makin' him into a pair of boots.
*:prev (mentally): Bah, as if I'd attack you...if I really wanted to take ya down, I'd attack you here and now...but the sven thing is pretty funny.*
*audience roars*
:prev: Ok, PG, how have you been? Haven't seen you around these parts in a long time.
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): Well enough, I suppose. This place has just gotten too silly lately to even consider setting one grim foot into. Do you know how hard it is to find a fully armored knight armed with a large halibut that's available to smack people that often? Besides, every time I --
:prev: --But who did you vote for during the fiefdom elections, huh? There seems to be a bit of a problem right now with who is the true leader. Who would you want to lead this place?
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): *hrmf* That fiasco? The first "election" in Russia was more valid than that thing. Can you vote someone out of power if you don't know who they are? And do you really think that Randy would relinquish his grip on this place that easily (or bloodlessly)? All I'll say about it, is that Sword stumbled onto what was really going on around here a couple years ago, and it was practically confirmed by Randy. Have you noticed that Sword (and everybody else that might know something) has been very quiet about it ever since? It's not advisable to mess with that kind of power.
:prev: Well, this has been fun. Two more questions before you 'snikt' on out of here. Numero uno, Who do you find yourself fancying in the media these days? That's a broad question so answer how you see fit.
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): The media? 99.99% of everybody involved is worthless.....put on this Earth to get in my way & breathe up my air. But they keep the cattle known as the "general public" entertained & distracted, I suppose. Unfortunately, one of the few I had some respect for has passed on recently. Carlin may have been a bit of a liberal hippie, but he called 'em like he saw 'em....and he saw things a lot more clearly than some people wanted him to.
:prev: M'right, now, let us know about your current interest a bit. Are you still into FF...doom...destruction?
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): FF will always be good. Doom? That's reaching a bit back there.....when I'm in that kind of mood, I prefer Duke Nukem 3D. Haven't heard of Destruction.....is it anything like Half-Life? What platform is it on? Or is it a Civilization mod?
*audience snikts*
:prev: Thanks for stopping by, PG. Wave to DJ, k? Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): Not a problem.....it's been a slow clone day.
*eyes DJ closely*
(http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4681/pgjs7.jpg): One maggot-infested toe in the wrong direction, and I'll pump ya full of Reanimator juice, just so I can kill ya proper! Consider this your only warning, dead-ite.
:prev: An actual challenge to DJ besides myself? There is hope! Now, my next guest is um...Santa clause? Wait...what?
*break*
*Backstage, an unjolly old soul and his crazy duck wait for their interview.*
Duck: QUACK QUACK! RIBBET! MOOOOOOOOO!
:santa: No, you're not getting a roast duck dinner. Aside from the fact that you'd be promoting cannibalism, you've been a very naughty boy recently.
Duck: Quack?
:santa: You know what I mean. I saw that video of you and Santa at the beach. It wasn't pretty.
Duck: QUACK RIBBET MEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
:santa: Stop denying it, and keep your comments about right-wing politics to yourself! Anyways, get ready. The interview should start anytime now.
*The Duck then qaucks, ribbets, moos, meows, and even trumpets out in rage, but quickly mellows down.
:santa: I do not!
*In the audience, a brightly colored caped man haphazardly tries to make it out to the aisle but becomes caught and falls into the man in front of him.*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): Why does this always happen to me...
*The man in front pushes the caped man off of him*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): My apologies but this cape is always getting caught on things. I really don't know how the other guys do it. I mean you never see other caped heroes getting caught but then again how many heroes would go to a human language broadcast in the middle of Earth's rotation instead of fighting some human financial institution larcener...
*Amidst his rambling, the caped man looks around and notices everyone is staring at him*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): Well...uhmmm...Greeting good non-larcenering humans...I am AFGHAN ANT of the Hymenoptera Winged ELITE Class of the HIVE WORLD/SUPERCOLONY and...uhmmm...you see...my cape got stuck in the seat and I fell into this very nice human in front of me...
*AA bends over and whispers in the man's ear*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): What do humans call you?
*The man rolls his eyes and says "My name is Tom" and AA springs back up*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): TOM! He is called TOM, humans!
*AA notices the stage and audience is completely quiet and staring at him*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): You...uhmmm...see...I must be going...uhmmm...going...there are retrograding quasi-harmonic otoacoustic emissions being broadcasted in near the Kármán line in your upper atmosphere that I need to attend to...so I'll just be going...
*AA's cape is now stuck in Tom's chair*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): Oh for the Sting of Vespoid...
*Prev stares out into the audience and witnesses the commotion. Something about this caped crusader intrigues him so much as to make prev say: "He intrigues me...," but nothing more. Second later, prev zaps KKHO and his duck onto the stage*
:prev: KKHO, I noticed you in the audience and I must say, that duck is going to be a star!
:santa: Yes, you still seem to be saying that.
:prev: I mean, I didn't really want you, but I guess you're the duck's manager and...
:santa: I guess you could say that. I do manage his his food and water supply, and height, and his width, and when he'll be ready to gr-
:prev: So how are you...and the duck?
:santa: Let's just say that before tonight, I planned to send this duck to a very special place.
Duck: QUACK QUACK QUACK! MOOOOOOOO!
:santa: He doesn't seem to be very happy about that.
:prev: You two are certainly chatty. Tell us about yourselves, KKHO + duck. What are your powers? Your enemies? Your alliances?
:santa: I'm pretty powerful. I have great superhuman strength, tremendous leaping ability, and can fire a powerful beam of laugh energy from my mouth. Oh, and also, I get healed when I hear laughs. As for enemies, my primary foes are Santa and his elves. As for alliances, I ally with NO-ONE...aside from PALS.
Duck: QUACK QUACK MOOOOOOO! Ribbet!
:santa: What my duck is trying to say is that is only enemies are fat guys in red suits and BBQ's. As for alliances, his only alliance is with his bill.
:prev: Duck with issues, are you part of pals like your manager friend? That team sucks!
Duck: Quack. Quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack. Quack quack. Quack. HE HAW! HE HAW!
:santa: What my duck is trying to say is that he is not a part of PALS, because he has...another appointment to attend to.
:prev: I'm sorry, but I have a problem with most of that team. DJ, Tiobe, TPE...all punks. Also, aren't you evil, KKHO? How could you join up with them?
:santa: I figured that being a villain only gets your arse kicked. On a regular basis. So I decided to become a hero. I'm still evil though, and ONE DAY, THE WORLD SHALL KNOW THIS! ONE DAY! Okay, I'm done.
:prev: ...right. And how's your friendship with Spam?
:santa: Despite the fact that I'm basically evil Santa and he's dumb as a rock, we somehow ended up being best pals. (GROAN.) Unfortunately, he hardly shows his face anymore. I'm surprised he showed here tonight. I'M GOING TO KIL...I mean, I'm going to give him a big hug. Yeah, that's right.
prev: And I guess we're through. Wave to DJ. Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time. Duck, KKHO; any last words?
:santa: Well, it seems that you don't have any plans for this duck, so unless you do, I think I'll resume my plan for him tomorrow, after I 'catch up' with little ol' Spam tonight. *Cracks knuckles.*
*QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Ribbet!
:prev: Indeed. The duck is star quality but...I've found someone new for the big screens. *camera pans out to AA*
:prev: but up next...um...who is up next?
producer: Ultimate "flesheater" evil
:prev: EGADS, man! That jerk?
*break*
*backstage flesheater watchs AA trip and fall in the crowd*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif)for god sake we can't take that guy anywhere
*you're on 5 minutes mr. flesheater*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif)cheers mate
*sits down*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif)so poddy whats the snacks like in here
*pod looks sheepish*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif): snacks,here? What sweater? I came in with this! I don't know you people! STOP JUDGING ME
*pod runs out the door*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif) sometimes i think i'm the most sane one of the group and that really scares me
Quote from: Previsionary on July 02, 2008, 07:55:53 AM
:prev: And at this point of the show, I'll let everyone know that this completely wacky season is almost over. The audience has been super tame outside of vamp and kkho and...my guest have been super polite. I want you all to know that...*ties DJ to a rocket and sends him flying into space*
...
:prev: Eggzackly. Me next guest is getting ready and I'm sure he'll be fun...or not.
*Not knowing what has happened to him, DJ rockets off to space and crash lands on the dark side of the moon, where a large amount of DJ zombie supporters live. In a matter of seconds, DJ is rocketing back, with a large amount of zombies in his thrall.*
DJ to himself: "Mwuahahahahaha!! Now Prev shall pay for his idiocy...I bring forth zombies and undead jalapeneos...nothing can stop them...so I shall win at last!!!"
Quote from: AfghanAnt on July 08, 2008, 11:33:35 AM
*AA's cape is now stuck in Tom's chair*
*Having been unaccustomedly quite in his seat, riveted as he was to the show, the Verdant Vowel turns casually to the wardrobe-entrapped crusader*
A I hate it when that happens...
*prev, still peeved about the hole in the roof, covers the entire ceiling in shadow energy before inviting UE onto the stage*
:prev: Let's welcome out, Ultimate Evil!
*crowd stares*
*UE walks onto the stage waving at the crowd and sits down and just stares at prev*
:prev: Welcome to my show...UE. How are you?
:ultevil: you lied to get me here, and for that i will make sure you get whats coming to you, other than that i'm peachy :) *
*crowd stares*
:prev: You know what, UE, I've no idea what you're on about and also, I have a problem with you. What's with the name?
:ultevil: well long story short the name flesheater actually belong to my sword, i wanted to go with super tough handsome wacky man, but when you meet your first demon and he runs away screaming the flesheater you go with what works, plus i couldn't get my first idea on the t-shirts
*crowd stares*
:prev: Your name is insulting to me and all evil people. You're a do-gooder and rockin' my and many other allegiances as some lame moniker. How do you feel about that?
:ultevil: and your dress sense is insulting to me and all people with fashion sense.
:prev: Now let's not get rowdy-owdy up in this joint. Tell us about your artistic side. I can see that you're a bit of an artist, correct?
:ultevil: you could say that yes
:prev: Well...that was certainly a quick answer. Care to expand on that?
:ultevil: well i do try my hand at forms of art such as photography and illustration, i enjoy it and it'll be interesting to see if what others think and to see if anything comes of it
:prev: ...How does it feel to be working with AA and Pod as the NEW heroforce?
:ultevil: its a great honour to work with 2 fantastic artists, AA is a fantastic hero, though he does seem to have some weird kinky thing for bugs, and pod well pod is great but in all honesty if you ever want to survive one of his attack just stand directly in front of him, he'll miss every time
:prev: I had more questions for you...but...
*crowd stares*
:prev: Something about that tissue being stuck to your shoe is a bit distracting so I'm gonna end this short. Say hey to DJ!
*Flesheater watches DJ appear slowly behind prev*
:ultevil: oh, something tells me you'll be speaking to him before i do
:prev: And have a good day, folks! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time...seems to be a trend. ^_^
:ultevil: goodnight everybody
:prev: And now we go to break...and I'm going for a good meal.
*vanishes off the stage*
* the crowd stare at UE and DJ on the stage*
DJ: DISCO
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif) with a reanimated corpse, outrageous
* the two start dancing a full Saturday night fever routine*
* the crowd goes wild*
* Meanwhile, though teleported from the stage, The Phantom Eyebrow maintains a watching brief on the proceedings with growing trepidation. *
:eyebrow: :o { What in the name of all that's spectral is Prev doing, giving a platform to so many evil-doers and villains on his show?
* ... he asks himself *
Quote from: The Phantom Eyebrow on July 10, 2008, 03:53:48 PM
* Meanwhile, though teleported from the stage, The Phantom Eyebrow maintains a watching brief on the proceedings with growing trepidation. *
:eyebrow: :o { What in the name of all that's spectral is Prev doing, giving a platform to so many evil-doers and villains on his show?
* ... he asks himself *
*prev slowly takes shape from fragmented pieces of TPE's shadow and taps his shoulder*
:prev: This, sir, is a place of neutrality. It's the only reason I haven't shoved a weapon deep into your gut and watched you bleed. You have no idea how tempting it is to do it...right...freakin'...now.
*prev turns around allowing his cape to fly where it may*
:prev: But I'm a professional...and I have a show to do!
*while walking towards stage*
:prev: One side Dimwitted Jokester! The Host must take to his duties! Perhaps you'd enjoy not being in my face with your pathetic army!
*teleports DJ and his "army" into TPE's eyebrows as miniature characters*
:prev: Now, let's prepare for our next guest...who ever it may be! As long as it's not that guy with the third eye. He's a freak. <_<
* As the Phantom watches Prev head back to the stage he feels a strange itch in his eyebrows. Being a practical sort he quickly identifies a course of action to deal with this unwelcome irritation *
:eyebrow: { A quick scratch of the itchy areas should deal with the problem nicely.
* The Eyebrow's index digit rummages amidst the follicles, unknowingly wreaking terrible havok amongst the miniturised hoarde contained therein *
A small, black, partially transparent cat walks through the wall off the left of the stage. The ghostly cat then becomes quite engrossed in washing his face, ignoring everyone going on around him.
*Podmark enters backstage*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif) Alright everyone can relax, I'm here. Sorry it took me so long, had a little car trouble.
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif) Do you even have a car?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif) Well uh no. I just kinda stole my sidekick's bike. It's been a slow month in the mercenary business, ok?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/tueicon.gif) So is that why you spend all your time at the base watching soaps?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif) No way! That's just quality TV. Ooo look snacks....
*wanders off.
*prev looks at the audience and notices something that catches his attention before returning back to his note cards.*
:prev (mentally): *sigh* TPE's presence here is bothering me. Something must be done about it...
*prev looks to his right and notices Podmark walking towards the stage*
:prev: Welcome out...Podmark!
*audience whoops*
:prev: Poddy Pod Poppa Diddy Pop...how does that name make you feel?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif): Ummm happy? Sad? Confused? Out of date? Happy? Hungry? Sblounskched?! Yeah hungry lets go with that...I didn't steal the food backstage. *looks around shiftyly*
:prev: because P. Di--dad--diddy...what's his face changes his name every other year and I figured you'd like--
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif): Well you figured wrong! I'm perfectly happy with my name. Also I will be changing it to Mark Pod soon. Then after that I intend to eat AA's lunch in the Heroforce fridge. Is Hero Force one word or two?....
:prev: I understand. Now, I have papers here that says you once ran a church...and you're a marksman. Which is true?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif)Pod: Neither it's both.
:prev: How is that even possible? It seems so...odd!
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif): The church of Podmark is still very much alive. We meet in the basement of my sidekick pre-law student Bob Lawson (yes that's his real name) parent's house every Saturday morning after 3pm, when I wake up. BYOC, bring your own chair. I prefer lawn.
I'm also still a marksmen but work's been slow since Doctor Manbot's presidential campaign ended. Also I blotched the Captain America Assassination, so Red Skull had to call in some goober named Crossbones. I went to the wrong comic universe, so sue me! Easy mistake! Anyone could have made it! But I "met" Batman so that was pretty cool. He let me keep my teeth, too.
:prev: Now, I asked your friend Flesheater about this, but how do you feel about Heroforce 2? Do you enjoy your teammates?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif)Pod: Well it beats living in Bob's baseme- I mean the Church- so it's got that going for it. Not too thrilled with the name though. I suggested reviving Villains United but AA didn't like that, UE too for some reason.
As for my teammates, well Afghan Ant is one of them heroes so that creates some conflicts, but Ultimate Evil is pretty cool i mean he's totally evil, its in his name and everything. By the way, who's Flesheater??
:prev: Because Flesheater, or UE as you call him, and his lack of style indicated that you have problems with your...aiming.
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif): Well that's just not true! I'm a perfect marksmen! I totally rule at Duck Hunt and that's been scientifically proven to correspond with a person's true accuracy regardless if you're standing right in front of the screen.
On an unrelated note, donations at the church of Podmark will go towards my laser eye surgery.
:prev: Well, Podmark, this has been fun, but I think we have to go.
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/podicon.gif): What so soon? But I haven't talked about my second book yet "How Dr. Manbot Ruined My Life (And So Can You!)". It's got 50% more incoherent ranting!
:prev: Well, it was just promoted! Wave to DJ--*points at TPE*--and sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time. ^_^
*prev stares into the backstage area and notices his next guest. His spirit seems to be repelling from his body at the mere sight of this man...or perhaps his spirit is running from disappointment. Either/or*
:prev: Welcome out...Yuan!
*A frail looking gentleman of Asian descent steps out of the wings and makes his way quickly across the stage. He stops a few feet away from the host and gives him an appraising (and very unamused) look. Just Prev opens his mouth to speak the old man raps him smartly on the head with his walking stick.*
Uncle Yuan: "'Yuan?' There is no one here called 'Yuan!' Uncle Yuan. Or perhaps 'Master' if you seek to become Uncle Yuan's apprentice, although I already have an apprentice. So you will have to wait. Ask me in about three years. No, current apprentice is not the sharpest knife in the rack. Ask me in five.
*prev (mentally): Aiee?! The beep*
:prev: (:angry:) Yuan Yuan Yuan...provide me with knowledge of your powers, enemies...location...weaknesses...and a possible phone number, so that I may contact you...about your upcoming doom at my hands
Uncle Yuan: "Powers?" *He pauses.* "I have no powers. I have herbs."
*He reaches into the battered pouch hanging from his shoulder and begins to pull out small bundles wrapped in newspaper and tied with string.*
Uncle Yuan: "I have herbs for arthritis. For liver. For babies who do not nurse. For . . . no, no, that is my Go set . . . for impotence. For eyes. For fingernails that do not grow straight. I also have I Ching sticks, and some buns for lunch, acupuncture needles, tea . . . "
*By now the pile of packages at his feet have grown surprisingly large. The pouch looks no emptier than it did before. By now Uncle Yuan is muttering to himself and has his arm thrust into the bag to his shoulder.*
Uncle Yuan: "Where is . . . HA! I also have flowers!"--He pulls out a very tattered bouquet of "feather" flowers like stage magicians pull from their sleeves.
Uncle Yuan: "I also know some t'ai chi. A little,"--he says, holding up his hand and indicating about half an inch with his forefinger and thumb.
:prev: ...quite a collection. So, I've seen you around, but I've never had a chance to confront you. How are ya?
Uncle Yuan: "I am well. My lumbago bothers me some when it rains, but at my age that is nothing."
:prev: Now, is it safe to assume that you're some sort of medicine man?
Uncle Yuan: "Yes! Uncle Yuan has good medicine!"
*He stoops to the pile around his feet and begins to gather up packages.*
Uncle Yuan: "I have herbs for arthritis. For liver. For babies who do not nurse. For . . . no, no, that is my Go set . . . for impotence. For eyes. For fingernails that do not grow straight . . ."
:prev: ( <_<) In my world...medicine men are cooked and served with syrup. Does that sound appealing to you?
*Uncle Yuan is busy shoving packages into his pouch while keeping a running commentary on their purported purposes. He does not seem to hear. When he is done the stage is empty and the pouch seems no fuller than it was before.*
:prev (mentally): What a rude little man. :thumbdown:
:prev: Very well. I understand that in your free time you run contests. Why don't you tell us a little about that?
Uncle Yuan: "Ah! You mean the writing! There is so little good writing in the world, I feel I should encourage it whenever I can. You do mean the writing, yes? I stopped the cock fights a long time ago . . . "
:prev: (:unsure:) And we're out of time. Got any last words for the kids in the audience? Maybe some wise words or proverbs?
*This seems to cause him some pause.*
Uncle Yuan: "Um, 'wear your boots?' That's a good one. So is 'hold hands when you cross the street.' There's always Rule One, of course, but I think best is 'Don't Panic!'"
:prev: --And...out! Thanks for joining us.
:prev: And hopefully my next guest, who has seem to have gone missing for...a week, will be less old, less rude, and have less items to clog my stage with. Heroes are such gits.
*commercial*
Just noting, I do have a few more interviews to post before this season wraps up (ha). I'm still waiting on one person to send something and I guess no one else is gonna do pre-interview stuffage. Anyway, sometime next week, the following people will be highlighted and you guys will most likely find them amusing:
Catwho (when he finds time to reply)
Benton Grey
Middy
and that weird guy from the audience. Ant something. Yeah, that guy right there! *points*
*finally getting around to posting the final three interviews. Hope you guys like them. Also, sorry for the delay.*
*prev points into the audience and zaps AA onto the stage*
:prev: You...you intrigue me! What is you name, cowboy, and how the heck are ya?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): My name is Afghan Ant and despite what your optical nerves are transmitting to your brain, I am not a domesticated female bovine human male child and I am well.
:prev: Now, I know you from that group--heroforce 2.0. How do you feel about your team mates?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): Before the rules were in place, I would do so with tactile feedback but I was instructed humans are not fond of this action...
:prev: --Because flesheater shared with us that you have some weird kinky fetish with bugs and podmark says you bring conflict because you're a "do-good" and he's a "do-bad".
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif):Oh you mean the conscious subjective experience of human emotion! WAIT! Did you say "weird kinky fetish with bugs?" So if you disclose the mating rituals of your home planet to your human social contacts and you are considered weird? Well to be fair, Flesheater has an unhealthy addiction to disemboweling reanimated human remains and Podmark is always talking to his semi-automatic firearm though it lack consciousness as define by the intergalactic standards in his underwear...it is unsettling...
:prev: I would assume so! Can you describe your powers and enemies to us, heroic-meatbag?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): All those who would kill insectiods is an enemy to me! *Points at everyone in the audience with a very angry look on his face* As for powers, the hyper bands I am wearing absorb polarize solar emissions and refract them into my metapleural enhancing my contractile tissues,as well as, generating propulsive thrusts and emitting coherent light radiation. I am also connected to databanks of the HIVEMIND however it is malfunctioning...*hits his head several times as to clear up static*
:prev: Weird. Now...if you and I were to get into a fight to the death, do you think your hyper bands could stop the villain of wizardry and telekinesis? Answer truthfully because I can read your mind!
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): While I do not understand the exact mechanics of human supernatural distortion or consciousness manifested force,I am sure a Hymenoptera Winged ELITE Class soldier could defeat any puny human such as you. Human physiology is frail after all. *looks to the audience smiling and giving them the double thumbs up*
:prev: Ha. I'm not truly human, heroic-insectoid! Moving on, other than your heroics, people seem to know you because of your artistic prowess. How does it feel to know that people adore your artsy...ness?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): It is a honor! I find great joy in ...zzz...geometric modification of tangent spacezzz...*AA's eye glaze over but he shakes his head*
..forgive me, having access to the unmeasurable amount of knowledge that is the HIVEMIND makes it difficult to focus.
:prev: Why do you not have a church of Ant? I mean...Podmark has one...Flesheater would have one if he wasn't such a fashionless dimwit who dances with dead, decaying animals named Death Jester, why not you?
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): It would be blasphemy to the Superorganism that laid thousands of eggs throughout the universe which have hatch into life. I am a true and faithful servant to Superorganism! *stands with his hands as antennas for his head while opening and closing his mouth*
:prev: And before we go...tell us about this TOM character you tripped over. Is TOM your newest best friend?
*AA looks to Tom*
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): I do not know much about Tom but he seems like a fertile human male. I am sure any human female would eat his rostral head after he has fertilized her eggs.
:prev: --IGNORE ME! Venture Brothers for the win. ^_^. Thanks for stopping by sir AA of...um...well, thanks.
(http://heroforce.freedomforceforever.com/anticon.gif): It was my pleasure! I should get my cape caught on things more often.
:prev: Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time and Emma needed time to do her makeup...because no one must see her true face. *nods wisely*
:prev: Next up will be some fish guy from fishplace. *turns to the producers* Please...please tell me it ain't that patheitc aquaman! Even humans put him to shame!
*commercial*
*Beats Prev mercilessly*
*prev stares at an aquarium that has been wheeled onto the set and mumbles something about Aquaman. Moments later, he notices aquaman...I mean Benton on stage trying to beat him. He's amused, but ultimately bored by this display of brute strength.*
:prev: Let's welcome out our next guest...Benton Grey...I don't even know this meat bag! Who the heck is that?!
:Grey: Greetings air breather. To alleviate your confusion, you may know that I am a prince of the coral city...you may call me "Your Highness."
:prev: Ok, "Your Dorkness", you remind me of someone...who is it that you remind me of?
:Grey: I have been told I bear some resemblance to the "Creature of the Black Lagoon," whatever that may be...a compliment, I'm sure.
:prev: No...Namor. You remind me of Namor...but blue. This worries me.
:Grey: And you are actually an odd color, but I have made my peace with the deficiencies of you surface dwellers.
:prev: hrm...I see I have pegged you wrongly but I'm going to stick with Namor. How are you, seabag?
:Grey: I am well "landbag," but I miss my home from time to time.
:prev: And...we're done. Shuffle along now.
:Grey: What? You requested my august presence, and you had better make the most of it.
:prev: You dare request more of my time? *lightning strikes the stage*
:Grey: I AM royalty, you know.
:prev: FIIIIINE! What are your powers and such?
:Grey: Compared to you squish pink things, I have incredible strength, durability, and the power to cloud your weak, distracted minds, not to mention control over my native element.
:prev: and what do you think of tiobe leading this great place?
:Grey: He has been of use to me, therefore he may keep whatever he can grab of this pitiful world.
:prev: --AND do you not think Namor would own Aquaman in a fair fight? No self-respecting man would choose telepathy fish man to--
:Grey: --I have learned a curious expression in my time among you savages, "it is not the size of the canine in the battle, but the size of the battle in the canine." This "Aquaman" character has much more....heart, than the other halfbreed.
:prev: fantasies...you live in them, no? Now, do you have anything to plug?
:Grey: Other than your face with my fist? I suppose the human puppet who claims to speak for me is working on some paltry comic book mod, DCUH or something like that...
:prev: Is that it?
:Grey: Yes, I suppose so.
:prev: ........
:Grey: Well?
:prev: Can you...leave now? You bother me.
:Grey: And you me.
:prev: And there you have it, folks, fish bags are self superior, smell bags! Especially ones who love Aquaman. They're so delusional that it's almost cute...and I abhor cute! *lightning strikes the stage*
:prev: Coming up next...um...some werewolf guy. Fishman should leave less he plans on being a meal for someone. Now, that's a show I wouldn't mind seein'!
Heh, the show is back with a bang! Great stuff all, a great addition to the Autumn schedule!
Applause! Whooot!