Best of the Worst: A Pundit's Posting Game

[Viking]

Puns.  A form of humor that is deemed most successful when it draws the mightiest groans.  And apparently, from what I gather from some of the recent forum posts, they are appreciated by a fair number of Reborners.

So - those who detest puns can stay safely away, whilst the pun-lovers voluntarily quarantine themselves in here.  Share some of your favorite groan-inducing puns that you've made, heard, read, what have you.  Context is important, of course - the set-up to a pun counts for much.

To start off...

A gaming friend of mine recently remarked that he wouldn't be seeing his girlfriend for about a week, as she was headed off to a sci-fi convention.  He lamented that he hadn't been able to talk with her much before she had departed.  I asked if she was mad at him when she left for the convention.  Taking it as a serious question, he said he didn't think so.

"Good," I responded.  "I'd hate to think that you'd be suffering the Wrath of Con."

[BlueBard]

Flashback to many, many years ago.  I was maybe 13-14, walking through the mall with my Mom.  Now any guy ought to be able to appreciate that you don't really want to go everywhere your Mom goes.  Especially clothes stores.  My usual habit was to wait outside whatever store she was in, preferably reading a book, until she came back.

One time she walked into a leather shop.  Okay, leather jackets are kind of cool.  I could handle that.  So I followed her inside.  There was a young couple inside.  The woman was drinking soda from a straw stuck in a paper cup.

Much to my chagrin, my mother started looking at leather purses.  No interest there.  I got kind of bored standing there.

Then, to my embarrassment, my mom held up a purse and asked me what I thought of it.

"I don't know anything about purses.  It's just not my bag," I replied casually, shrugging my shoulders.

Not a great pun, but the young woman who overheard me spewed coke so I count it as a successful one.

[Adamence]

Throughout my entire life, my father has always been something of a pun nut.  Not very good puns, but I'm sure he feels that quantity is more important than quality.  He'll go on and on for seemingly hours as he sets up a painful three word pun, and as such, I've grown (or maybe groan) to have an appreciation for them.  So much so, that a few years ago, the college newspaper was sponsoring a contest for the best puns and I decided to enter.  Feeling that quantity might be more helpful than quality, I wrote up almost a dozen puns and submitted them to the newspaper, just hoping that one of them might make it in, that one of them just might win.  But when the results were published, I checked them to see if any of mine won...but sadly, no pun in ten did.