PALS: Phantsmal Avatar Leage of Superheroes

[catwhowalksbyhimself]

The cat pops back through the wall.

yOU IDIOTIC HUMAN!  wALK THROUGHT THIS WALL!  iT WILL TAKE YOU TO OUR DESTINATION!  oH NEVERMIND, i'LL TAKE YOU THERE DIRECTLY!

Spam sinks through the floor and appears in a dark room filled with ominous large cats made of shadow and with glowing red eyes.  Along with them is Mentok learning at him.

jUST HOLD STILL LITTLE ONE, WHILE OUR ALLY mENTOK TURNS YOU INTO OUR SLAVE!  i AM NO LONGER A WEAK CAT!  THE SHADOWS HAVE TURNED ME INTO ONE OF THEM AND THEY WILL NO LONGER BE EXILED FROM CAT KIND FOR THEIR JUST AMBITIONS.

ALL HUMANITY SHALL FALL INTO SHADOW AND THE COWARDLY FELINE SHALL SCREAM IN HORROR AS WE SHOW THEM WHAT A TRUE CAT IS MADE OF!

[Spam]

:spam: "Heeeey!"

Spam takes out what seems to be a plain water sprayer, and sprays the cat with water, right on the nose.

:spam: "Bad kitty. Talking Earth's bowing down to all feline kind, and all that. And you interrupted my Tom Collins, cute wittle kitty. So, I must do one thing, and one thing only. Put up yer dukes, yon kitty, before I twist your head off like a corkscrew remover screwer... thingy."

Spam puts up his dukes, ready to fight them all off, but just gets brain zapped by Mentok.

:spam: "Ooooooooohhhh.......... Preeeeetttyyy, shiiiinnnyyyyy, PPPPPPSSSSSS3333333.......... This Mountain Dew tastes funny... Can I have a cat stuffed in my mouth, please?"

*falls on the floor after losing his personality, becoming some sort of rabid slave to the cats*

FORIAMSPAM!

[Sword]

:sword *is currently in Helsinki, seeing to the disposition of a former rival.*
:sword Petrov, it should have been blatantly obvious that you couldn't drink an undead warlord under the table.
Gilded Rose:He was cheating.
:sword Come on. Time for the Sunset Sobering.
Gilded Rose: Which one is that? I know I should remember...
:sword It's the one where you're superglued to the side of a skyscraper until you sober up.
Gilded Rose:You have the weirdest methods...
:sword It's only taken you six years to figure that out?
Gilded Rose: Being drunk out of your mind makes you state the obvious.
*The Gilded Rose's phone rings*
:sword You have reached the Gilded Rose. Unfortunately,he's out of his mind at this moment. Please leave a message and he'll get back to you at the first available moment of clarity *listens* It's someone named Gretchen. Do you want to talk to her?
Rose: Not even when I'm sober.
:sword *hangs up* Ok, let's go. *takes a whiff* What did you drink anyway?
Rose:*points to three empty bottles of jack daniels and a half empty bottle of Everclear*
:swordteleport Never again *superglues his rival to the Chrysler Building* I'll  be back with the solvent  in seven hours. If you need to stay warm...
Rose *takes a golden rose from his belt and transforms it into a fleece jacket* I'm good. Hey,did you know that Leviathan was sighted off the coast of Indiana?
:sword Indiana doesn't have a coast. Might you mean India?
Rose: *gives thumbs up and promptly falls into a drunken stupor*
:swordteleport Sleep well Petrov.

[BatWing]

hello heroes i would like to join yer team dudes.

[catwhowalksbyhimself]

OOC:  Fine, but this is a role playing game and our characters are in several different places, so where are you and how did you arrive?  You've got to make sure we know exactly what your character is doing.

[Deaths Jester]

:spam: *Thinking that was catwhowalksbyhimself, Spam trys to walk through the wall by himself. To his attempt, he just bangs his head agaisnt it. So, Spam punches the wall, and follows the cat in a path of some sort of destruction, not thinking about its red eyes and strange halo above its head.*

:spam: "Hmmm, I wonder why that cat sounded strange? catwhowalkbyhimself doesn't sound that way. Maybe he's going through pub-"

Spam, getting cut off by a radio announcement saying that Tom Collins are now half-price at DJ's bar.

:spam: "Ooooooohhh. Never had those before..." *thinks about stopping his rampageous wall-destroying to follow the kitty, for a tom collins*

FORIAMSPAM!

*Overhearing the radio announcement that Tom Collins are half-priced at his own bar, DJ beats feet to what is now considered his bar...even though he didn't know he had one.*  "WHAT THE 'ELL?!?!?!?!  Half-Priced Tom Collins?!?!?!  At a bar I own...but didn't ever knwo I owned?!?!?!  Something is definetly wrong 'ere!!!!"

-DJ

[kkhohoho]

*Meanwhile, an evil Santa counterfeit who appears to be completly real but is not awakens from his slumber on the sofa...*

santa: ...Ahhhhhhh...This time I got a good rest! :thumbup: ...I sense that something unrealistic which appears to be real has been here...I am able to sense this due to me also not being real while appearing to be real...I sense that I am spouting internal monolog...outloud.  I'd better stop that.  In times like these, there's only one place to go.

*Later, at a familar pawnshop...*

:ffan Cursed papers!  Always flying around the place!

*At that moment, a rather fat figure opens the pawnshop door.*

:santa: Yo!  Gyspy of the...*notices something odd* flying papers...

:ffan Ignore them.  Let's get to buisness.  Haven't you learned your lesson after that little incident with the TV?

:santa: This isn't about that TV.  I suspect foul play!  *A duck is then seen running down the counter with a football.* ...Besides that.

:ffan I'm a gyspy.  Things like that happen often around this place.

:santa:...Riiiiiiight...Back to buisness.  I sense something like me has been around PALS's mansion, and I don't get a good vibe from this invisible residue like I get from guys like catwhowalks.  The feeling was familar though...

:ffan Hmm...I suspect that an unrealistic aquatience of yours has been possesed by dark powers.  I cannot say who it is though.

:santa: Um...can I be possesed too? :(

:ffan I don't think so.  I could be wrong, but you derive from the rightous laugh of Santa Claus, and to top it off, you're already evil.

:santa: True. :twisted:

:ffan There is a slim possibility though that you could be possesed or influenced by this power, but even if it were so, your Santa Clauseness as well as your evil vibe would make it very difficult to do so.  I suggest  being on the alert, and always keeping an eye open.  Takes this unrealistic cross.  It may be of service. *The realistic yet not so realistic cross is taken by the Santafake.*  Now, for the payment...

:santa: Ah, yes.  "Pulls a rather strange creature out of his sack, as well as a gun.*  Look!  *Shoots the gun at the beast, who does not die.*  An undead monkey! :D

:ffan That will suffice.  Be on your way.

:santa: Thank you very much. :D

[Spam]

:spam: *awaits his kittiesh fate*

FORIAMSPAM!

[Premonitioner]

*Meanwhile, back in London, Prem has left his newish base of operations and sits contently at an airport. There's a slight buzzing in the background and London is busy with crazy tourists.*

:prem: I hope TPE got my message. It's been awhile since I've even attempted long ranged telepathy.

*Prem shifts slightly in his seat*

:prem: I just hope I'm not getting him into something totally insane and crazy.

*prem slightly reminisces about the past events that happened that almost resulted in the world being destroyed and finally stands up and stairs out a nearby window*

:prem: it feels like I've been here all day. I was expecting some type of message by now. *sigh*

....

:prem: Maybe I should try calling him again.

*prem picks up his phone and proceeds to call the PALS base again*

[catwhowalksbyhimself]

Meanwhile, the shadowy cats and the now evil catwhowalksbyhimself finally reveal part of their evil sceme.

wE HAVE PERFECTED THE GREATEST TOOL OF HYPNOTYSM EVER KNOWN TO MAN. nO HUMAN SHALL BE ABLE TO RESIST, AND WE WILL BE FREE TO GET OUR REVENGE ON ALL CATS WHO CAST THE SHADOW OUT OF THE SPIRIT OF CATLINESS.

iT WILL BE YOUR JOB TO TAKE THE FIRST ONE TO THE p.a.l.s. BASE, THEN YOU WILL TAKE MORE OF THEM THROUGHOUT THE CITY, THEN THE WORLD.  nO ONE SHALL ESCAPE.

The room lights come on in the room behind him, revealing hundreds of very evil-looking Dance Dance revolution machines.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

*Meanwhile, back in London, Prem has left his newish base of operations and sits contently at an airport. There's a slight buzzing in the background and London is busy with crazy tourists.*

:prem: I hope TPE got my message. It's been awhile since I've even attempted long ranged telepathy.

*Prem shifts slightly in his seat*

:prem: I just hope I'm not getting him into something totally insane and crazy.

*prem slightly reminisces about the past events that happened that almost resulted in the world being destroyed and finally stands up and stairs out a nearby window*

:prem: it feels like I've been here all day. I was expecting some type of message by now. *sigh*

....

:prem: Maybe I should try calling him again.

*prem picks up his phone and proceeds to call the PALS base again*

* Prem may not have noticed this, but the Eyebrow has indeed received his last message and even now is winging his way to London Airport *

:eyebrow:  <_<

* Or at least he will be once he clears check-in *

[BatWing]

*raijin opens the entrance to the pals head quarters*

i wonder if theres anyone here?

*looks around to see*

[kkhohoho]

*raijin opens the entrance to the pals head quarters*

i wonder if theres anyone here?

*looks around to see*

*An evil copy of a holiday celebrity jumps out of the corner with a rather strange cross in his hand.*

:santa: BACK!  BACK YOU EVIL FEI-.................You're not unrealistic. :huh:.......Now I remember!  We got a recruitment application a few days back.  We've been looking for hired help after Souper Ian and Captain Pluto left, and we're not sure what some of the other guys are doing.  So -this is all standard procedure- what's your name and what are your powers?

[Spam]

Awakening from his once again, droolish nightmare of a sleep, Spam sits up, rubbing his head after the cats left. He stands on his feet, and rather properly, puts a few quarters in the dark and spooky looking DDR machine, and selects a song performed by Cradle of Filth, remixed of course. Never looking so cool in his life, he decides to stop playing the game, and head back to PALS mansion, not going to tell anyone anything, since he doesn't even know what happened. Not unless, if it was some crazy dream that he thought of, and instead would be telling them the dream, and not reality, Spam's mind is apparantly going insane. And he just woke up, too. But there is one thing that can't get out of Spam's mind, no matter how hard he doesn't think about it, he just can't stop thinking about it. He can't stop thinking about cats. It's like he can't get over those furry little things. Their so furry, adorable, and cuddly, and their his master.

:spam: "Yes... I must... Serve. My... Masters. Yes, serve. Furry kitties. Only serve them. My body is for kitties, and kitties only. Yes. Must... Destroy... PALS... Must think... Of... Kitties... Yes. Puuuurrrrr."

FORIAMKITTY!

[kkhohoho]

Awakening from his once again, droolish nightmare of a sleep, Spam sits up, rubbing his head after the cats left. He stands on his feet, and rather properly, puts a few quarters in the dark and spooky looking DDR machine, and selects a song performed by Cradle of Filth, remixed of course. Never looking so cool in his life, he decides to stop playing the game, and head back to PALS mansion, not going to tell anyone anything, since he doesn't even know what happened. Not unless, if it was some crazy dream that he thought of, and instead would be telling them the dream, and not reality, Spam's mind is apparantly going insane. And he just woke up, too. But there is one thing that can't get out of Spam's mind, no matter how hard he doesn't think about it, he just can't stop thinking about it. He can't stop thinking about cats. It's like he can't get over those furry little things. Their so furry, adorable, and cuddly, and their his master.

:spam: "Yes... I must... Serve. My... Masters. Yes, serve. Furry kitties. Only serve them. My body is for kitties, and kitties only. Yes. Must... Destroy... PALS... Must think... Of... Kitties... Yes. Puuuurrrrr."

FORIAMKITTY!

*A fat being of red cloth hears the PALS mansion door open, and rushes to it.*

:santa: Ah, Spam.  Good timing.  I was just about to finish up an intereregation with a Rajin fellow.  Want to help?

:spam: Kiiiiitttiiiiiieeeeessss...

*The unrealistic cross held by that who is unreal and evil starts shining brightly.*

:santa: ...Spam, I think it's been a long time since you took a bath. *Rushes Spam into the tub, then hurries over to the phone, and begins crunching in numbers.*

:santa: 666-EXO-RCI-STS...

[BatWing]

*raijin opens the entrance to the pals head quarters*

i wonder if theres anyone here?

*looks around to see*

*An evil copy of a holiday celebrity jumps out of the corner with a rather strange cross in his hand.*

:santa: BACK!  BACK YOU EVIL FEI-.................You're not unrealistic. :huh:.......Now I remember!  We got a recruitment application a few days back.  We've been looking for hired help after Souper Ian and Captain Pluto left, and we're not sure what some of the other guys are doing.  So -this is all standard procedure- what's your name and what are your powers?

*looks at the "fake" santa*
well you see my name is Raijin.

My powers are thunder/electric.
i can maintain my electric powers but my thunder is uncontrollerble.
i can fly too

[Premonitioner]

*Meanwhile back at an airport in London...*

:prem: No answer? What, is everyone out of the base or something? GAH!

*prem slams the phone on the reciever and heads back to his seat. He briefly closes his eyes as he mentally begins to scan the area for TPE*

:prem: In the past...

*began a somewhat impatient prem*

:prem: ...heroes would be where they were needed like *snap*. Times sure have changed.

*Unknown to prem, a dark shadow begins to swirl and form into a figureless caped being*

:ph34r: I suspect our visitor is on his way, correct?

:prem: I guess....If you were so worried about it, you could have easily called him.

:ph34r: But that would ruin the surprise.  :twisted:

:prem: I'm sure whatever surprise you had planned will be ruined anyway. :rolleyes:

[BatWing]

*mean while back at the base*
eh so am i in or what?

  silent treatment eh?

thats cool i can wait

[Spam]

Spam, being pushed in the tub, should not have been left alone, whilst bathing temporarily. Spam gets up on his feet, takes the nearby shampoo on which Kkhohoho left for Spam to use, and throws it out the bathroom door, all agressive like. Stepping out of the tub now, Spam walks out the bathroom, spotting the nearest PAL to try and kill, which so happens to be the newbie. As Kkhohoho is trying to talk to somebody on the EXORCIST hotline, Spam, unbeknowest to Raijin, sneaks behind him with some sort of butter knife which was used to make a PB&J of sorts.

:spam: *thinking to himself* "Puuuurfect. Now he'll be dead and sticky. All for my kitty masters, yes, yes the precious kitties must rule, so must Mentok. Now to perform my devilish deed for my precious kitty masters. Only for them, noone else. Must... Kill for kitties. Uuuuuugggghhhh."

FORIAMSPAM!

[catwhowalksbyhimself]

The cat's voice booms in Spams head.

yOU IDIOT!  yOUR ORDERS WERE TO PLACE ONE OF OUR SPECIAL DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION MACHINES IN THE PALS HEADQUARTERS. tHAT IS ALL.  mENTOK, WIPE HIS MEMORY AND RELEASE HIM, HE'S TOO STUPID TO BE OF ANY USE TO US.

Spam returns to normal, but with no memory of his abduction and mind control.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* At long last, the Phantom Eyebrow arrives at Heathrow *

:eyebrow: { I presume there'll be someone here waiting for me.  I don't like to make a fuss but sometimes a spot of ceremony is befitting a man of my standing.

* Peruses the Arrivals area in confidence expectation of finding a limo driver with a big sign marked 'Eyebrow' *

[kkhohoho]

The cat's voice booms in Spams head.

yOU IDIOT!  yOUR ORDERS WERE TO PLACE ONE OF OUR SPECIAL DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION MACHINES IN THE PALS HEADQUARTERS. tHAT IS ALL.  mENTOK, WIPE HIS MEMORY AND RELEASE HIM, HE'S TOO STUPID TO BE OF ANY USE TO US.

Spam returns to normal, but with no memory of his abduction and mind control.

* A man who has run out of titles for himself notices Spam saying something along the lines of "Where am I?".*

:santa: Sorry Mr.Exorcist, but the problem's solved itself.  *Hangs up the phone rather rudely.*  Spam, are you all right?  I think you are because my fake cross stopped glowing, but I could be wrong.  *Notices a rather noticible bumb on Spam's arm.*  Very, very wrong...

[Premonitioner]

* At long last, the Phantom Eyebrow arrives at Heathrow *

:eyebrow: { I presume there'll be someone here waiting for me.  I don't like to make a fuss but sometimes a spot of ceremony is befitting a man of my standing.

* Peruses the Arrivals area in confidence expectation of finding a limo driver with a big sign marked 'Eyebrow' *

*Meanwhile, back in the London airport...Prem and the mysterious figure speak mysteriously about a mysterious guest they are suppose to be mysteriously meeting who is hereby known as the mysterious TPE because of his mysteriousness.*

:prem: Ok, you should probably go. I sense that tpe is nearby.

:ph34r: Perfect! Do not let me down...he must meet the master.

:prem: I don't understand why this is so important. I invited him for a reason...and if this ends up getting him in some type of trouble...I won't be held responsible for what I may do to you.

:ph34r: ...

*the figureless figure disappears in a dark cloud accompanied with a slight "BLIP"*

:prem: ...interesting.


*moments later, Prem steps out from behind the shadows and covers TPE's...eyebrows? If TPE didn't know any better...and if he weren't out in the open, he may have suspected the ever so darkening presence of a shadow manipulator known only as Previsionary.

:prem: Well, it's nice of you to come. Guess who's alive.

[Spam]

:spam: "Dude, Kkhohoho, I have no idea now... First I was mindtaken from my own mind, because I was actually switched with Mr. Tiobe... Then all I remember is black stuff, and kitty fur, and some weird radio station downstairs... So seriously, I have no idea what's going on any more... But hopefully, all that's weird will go away now... At least away from me.  :huh: "

[Deaths Jester]

*continues his search for this supposed Bar that he currently owns, but has yet found nothing resembling such a monstrosity.*

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

:prem: Well, it's nice of you to come. Guess who's alive.

:eyebrow: { There's no need for me to guess Premo, for I sense the ever so darkening presence of a shadow manipulator that can only be Previsionary!! 


[OOG - Raijin, apologies for the lack of response.  Unfortunately we've been scattered to the four winds by various storylines at the moment so the base is relatively empty for now. 

[Spam]

:spam: *finally notices Raijin*

:spam: "Holy snot-suck! How long have you been there? Anyways, Sword or one of those other people normally do this, but I guess that Sword was on some building, and TPE is MIA in the PAL with all of his eyebrowness, so I suppose that leaves me. So, you say that you can control lightning and fly, correct? Well, let me ask you this one question, and I'll validate if you can join or not. But you'll more then likely join, as, well, everyone always does. So anyways, on to the pointless question."

*looks at a clipboard and puts on some reading glasses*

:spam: "If you were in the city in disguise not being noticed by people, and a giagantic Godzilla like creature were to burst from a building and attack the city, what would you do? Stay maintained in your smugish disguise, or tear it off, and rescue the city and receive glorious praise from the fair citizens? Now is the time to choose."

*presses some button on the nearby wall that starts the Jeopardy tune*

FORIAMSPAM!

[Premonitioner]

:prem: Well, it's nice of you to come. Guess who's alive.

:eyebrow: { There's no need for me to guess Premo, for I sense the ever so darkening presence of a shadow manipulator that can only be Previsionary!! 

*prem steps back and stares at TPE...astonished*

:prem: Previsionary? You brought him to London?

*prem closes his eyes and thinks*

:prem: Why would you do that? You know what happens when we're together!?

*prem projects an image of prem and prev fighting and each about to kill each other*

:prem: And when did you guys become so buddy buddy?

*prem reaches into his satchel and produces a small letter and shoves it quickly into TPE's hands*

:prem: jokes aside, I called you here for a specific reason. The note I just placed in your hand is from someone I've only heard of and never seen. Inside said note...you will find a picture of a man known only as...The Phantom Noselip, leader of the phantasmals. You must come with me to meet him. I thought you were the only phantom of your kind on Earth...so knowing there might be another...

*Prem thinks a moment and decides that whatever he could say might come out bad*

:prem: Well, you were the guy to call. If you want to meet him...we kinda have to travel into an active volcano located in Paris. I would've asked you to meet me there but...things have been crazy ever since Previsionary was last there...that and I couldn't risk being found there after I was framed. But yeah, it should only take like...5 minutes to port there. You CAN teleport that far, right?

[Spam]

:spam: *makes a very loud and annoying beep from his mouth as to indicate that the time for Raijin to answer is up*

:spam: "Okay, that took longer then I thought... So, what would be your answer?"

FORIAMSPAM!

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

:prem: jokes aside, I called you here for a specific reason. The note I just placed in your hand is from someone I've only heard of and never seen. Inside said note...you will find a picture of a man known only as...The Phantom Noselip, leader of the phantasmals. You must come with me to meet him. I thought you were the only phantom of your kind on Earth...so knowing there might be another...

:eyebrow:  :angry: { The Phantom NOSELIP!?  Undoubtedly this... IMPOSTER... is trying to gain some credibility for himself by ripping off my act!  I would soon meet this noselip and give him a good brow-beating!

:prem: Well, you were the guy to call. If you want to meet him...we kinda have to travel into an active volcano located in Paris. I would've asked you to meet me there but...things have been crazy ever since Previsionary was last there...that and I couldn't risk being found there after I was framed. But yeah, it should only take like...5 minutes to port there. You CAN teleport that far, right?

:eybrow: { Erm... I can teleport about 1 block at a time and it does take a bit of energy to do so.  Teleporting from London to Paris would take a large number of jumps and, well, we ARE at an airport...