PALS: Phantsmal Avatar Leage of Superheroes

[Alaric]

A Admittadly, I'm not all that familiar with PALS headquarters, having only spent a short time there, but is it usual for the structure to be randomly shot at by some apperently-distrubed individual? Could this perhaps be part of some heinous plot, designed to destroy all that is pure and just in this world? Or is it mere random insanity?

[BatWing]

darn ran out of bullets
*looks around*
seems like no one has spotted me
*runs away* :ph34r:

[kkhohoho]

A celestial chariot descends upon PALS headquarters, allowing sword and deadpool to disembark behind Raijin.
A bouncing laugh of santa claus appears soon after, landing right in the spot previously vacated by the rams.
:sword Wade, flank left. Hohoho flank right. We'll get this guy.

:santa: Okay.  *As the fat lumox and and the breaker of the 4th wall head to their spots...nothing happens.  Nope.  Honestly, it only took them a few seconds to get to their spots.  What're they gonna' do, go out for a beer and then flank? I mean-*

*Narrator gets shot.*

[ow_tiobe_sb]

darn ran out of bullets
*looks around*
seems like no one has spotted me
*runs away* :ph34r:

:| { *Unbeknownst to the unknown assailant, Lane, who has been tending the grounds, strategically extends his rake (the garden implement, not his employer) and decidedly upturns the surprised shooter by knocking him off his feet.  With his nose held high and his chin thrust outward, Lane addresses the villain now sprawled face-down on the green.* Going so soon, sir?

:) { I should say not, Lane! *The Bunburyist emerges from behind the topiary, rolls the fiend over with a swift kick to his left side, and deftly whisks the criminal's firearm away with a flick of his cane.*  You certainly will not be needing this naughty implement of destruction at present, sirrah! *Forcefully placing the end of his cane, followed by his full body weight, upon the assailant's sternum, TPB asks* Now that we have a moment to discourse without threat of harm to my person, what brings you to our fair manor, you unmannered varlet?  What variety of common knave are you to assault our home unprovoked and without invitation?  I eagerly await your reply, sirrah, for, if you do not speak to me, you WILL speak to Mr. Jester and Mr. Sword, who will not be as gentle with you as I have been.  *TPB gestures dramatically toward the fearsome, rotting, staggering corpse and the shadowy swordsman nearby.*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Deaths Jester]

darn ran out of bullets
*looks around*
seems like no one has spotted me
*runs away* :ph34r:

:| { *Unbeknownst to the unknown assailant, Lane, who has been tending the grounds, strategically extends his rake (the garden implement, not his employer) and decidedly upturns the surprised shooter by knocking him off his feet.  With his nose held high and his chin thrust outward, Lane addresses the villain now sprawled face-down on the green.* Going so soon, sir?

:) { I should say not, Lane! *The Bunburyist emerges from behind the topiary, rolls the fiend over with a swift kick to his left side, and deftly whisks the criminal's firearm away with a flick of his cane.*  You certainly will not be needing this naughty implement of destruction at present, sirrah! *Forcefully placing the end of his cane, followed by his full body weight, upon the assailant's sternum, TPB asks* Now that we have a moment to discourse without threat of harm to my person, what brings you to our fair manor, you unmannered varlet?  What variety of common knave are you to assault our home unprovoked and without invitation?  I eagerly await your reply, sirrah, for, if you do not speak to me, you WILL speak to Mr. Jester and Mr. Sword, who will not be as gentle with you as I have been.  *TPB gestures dramatically toward the fearsome, rotting, staggering corpse and the shadowy swordsman nearby.*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

*looks about all confused, a drop of saliva running down the remains of his face*

"Wha? Someone say my name?  What da 'ell could they want now?  Tell me!  TELL ME DAMNNIT!!!"

-DJ

[Sword]

*sword and deadpool arrive on scene*
:sword Remarkable capture as always Lane. DJ, this maniac fired into our base, and possibly threatened your stock of booze by his action.

[Previsionary]

*a mailman arrives on the scene and reaches for TPB's cane*

:huh:: What type of contraption do you have here, young man?

*points the cane into the air*

^_^: Seems like a cane for a mighty fine lad.

*subtly drops mailbag on raijin*

:o: Such nice craftsmanship!

*bag shapeshifts into a bag of bats shrouding raijin and teleporting him away. The bats pick at Deadpool's mask*

:rolleyes:: Wish I had one.

*hands cane back*

:unsure:: Well, I should be going!

*grabs bag and runs away*

:P: Adios!

[BatWing]

darn ran out of bullets
*looks around*
seems like no one has spotted me
*runs away* :ph34r:

:| { *Unbeknownst to the unknown assailant, Lane, who has been tending the grounds, strategically extends his rake (the garden implement, not his employer) and decidedly upturns the surprised shooter by knocking him off his feet.  With his nose held high and his chin thrust outward, Lane addresses the villain now sprawled face-down on the green.* Going so soon, sir?

:) { I should say not, Lane! *The Bunburyist emerges from behind the topiary, rolls the fiend over with a swift kick to his left side, and deftly whisks the criminal's firearm away with a flick of his cane.*  You certainly will not be needing this naughty implement of destruction at present, sirrah! *Forcefully placing the end of his cane, followed by his full body weight, upon the assailant's sternum, TPB asks* Now that we have a moment to discourse without threat of harm to my person, what brings you to our fair manor, you unmannered varlet?  What variety of common knave are you to assault our home unprovoked and without invitation?  I eagerly await your reply, sirrah, for, if you do not speak to me, you WILL speak to Mr. Jester and Mr. Sword, who will not be as gentle with you as I have been.  *TPB gestures dramatically toward the fearsome, rotting, staggering corpse and the shadowy swordsman nearby.*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

dang i thought i just got away too...
oh well time to blow my self up!!!
hahahahah
*released his vest and the clock goes ticking*
I'm taking u down with me tiobe!!!!

[Deaths Jester]

*sword and deadpool arrive on scene*
:sword Remarkable capture as always Lane. DJ, this maniac fired into our base, and possibly threatened your stock of booze by his action.

"WHAT?!?!?!?!"  *DJ's neck veins pulse at the thought of his booze stock being threatened*  "This slimey, no good bastad was putting MY booze stock in possible harms way!!  OH NOW HE'S GOING TO GET IT!!!"

*runs off to get his Booze Threatening Maniac Beating Stick*

[Spam]

:spam: "Hey, does anybody know what this is? Because I think it's buried treasure..."

Spam holds up what seems to be a rectangular box with a lock on it.

:spam: "I was digging underneath our headquarters, because this dog told me there was buried treasure there... so I started digging. Well, I think this is the treasure, so I'm gonna open it... I just hope it's not one of those stupid time capsules..."

Spam pulls on the lock very hard, until he notices he has the key in his other hand. He then unlocks the lock, takes it off, and opens the box to reveal...

:spam: "A bomb? But it should have been buried treasure... and how did a bomb get down there without being exploded? And who exactly would plant a bomb directly under PALS headquarters...? Oh look, the timer says we have exactly twenty minutes to live. Yaaay!"

[Sword]

:sword *tags the bomb in Spammo's hand and teleports it to the atlantic ridge*

[kkhohoho]

:sword *tags the bomb in Spammo's hand and teleports it to the atlantic ridge*

:santa: Nice job there Sword, but I think you teleported Spammy's hand in the process. Maby we can replace it with a meathook or something...

[Sword]

:sword *checks* Nah, it's just his pinky finger. Maybe we can replace it with a steel prsothetic.
DJ: *comes back with the Stick* Where'd he go? I'll show 'im a thing or nine.
:sword Gone. *hears a low BOOM come from elsewhere* The bomb is too far out. I think our attacker had a self destruct button.

[Spam]

:spam: "Oooh, I can see fireworks..." *looks at the mushroom cloud off yonder*

[ow_tiobe_sb]

dang i thought i just got away too...
oh well time to blow my self up!!!
hahahahah
*released his vest and the clock goes ticking*
I'm taking u down with me tiobe!!!!

OOC: *looking for a GM ruling* Sooooooo...was TPB recently spread over a large area in small bits or not?  Raijin's sense of timing (in light of Prev's post) is too fine for any idea (of mine) to violate it. :P

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Sword]

*rolls* Hmm, 18 on Tiobe, 6 on Riajin. You're safe, though your outfit is now covered from what's left of a sack of bats.

[Deaths Jester]

:sword *checks* Nah, it's just his pinky finger. Maybe we can replace it with a steel prsothetic.
DJ: *comes back with the Stick* Where'd he go? I'll show 'im a thing or nine.
:sword Gone. *hears a low BOOM come from elsewhere* The bomb is too far out. I think our attacker had a self destruct button.

"Wha' the?!?!?!?!  Who the 'ell let that bloody bastad get away?!?!?!  I mean, I got me my stick and am ready for so beatdowning, blast it!!!"  *stands menacinly on the floor, becuase he happened to fall over from his drunkeness*

[Sword]

:sword Unfortunately, he got away,and decided to blow himself up. Apparently he feared your whuppin stick. *phone rings* Yes. Yes. All right. I'll be there soon." *hangs up* Gentlemen and Undead, I have some matters to attend to. Would anyone like to see my home city of Sunrise City, Maryland? Something big's happening and all Omega supers are being called back.
:deadpool: *for DJ's benefit* He's packin in, and going back east. You wanna go with? You can bring the beating stick.

[Deaths Jester]

:sword Unfortunately, he got away,and decided to blow himself up. Apparently he feared your whuppin stick. *phone rings* Yes. Yes. All right. I'll be there soon." *hangs up* Gentlemen and Undead, I have some matters to attend to. Would anyone like to see my home city of Sunrise City, Maryland? Something big's happening and all Omega supers are being called back.
:deadpool: *for DJ's benefit* He's packin in, and going back east. You wanna go with? You can bring the beating stick.

*ponders the question from his place on the floor*

"Hmmmm....does it involve the potential for alcohol?  I mean, if I'm going to bring my Booze Threatening Maniac Beating Stick...well, I kinda need a Maniac threatening booze..."

[Sword]

:sword: Well, as far as I know, it involves a maniac threatening to wish everything that people find enjoyable out of existence.
:deadpool: Ye Gods, man. you don't mean...
:sword: Fraid so, Wade. One of the Five dimension lords.
:deadpool: Let's see, those are the guys with the funky names like...
:sword Broken Promises, Stolen Thunder, Shattered Dreams, Splintered Life and Final Eulogy.
:deadpool: Outta my league, but whaddya say zombie dude? The guy wants to destroy everything, includin the booze...I oughta call Hercules for this..
:sword: No, Hercules has his own concerns. If anyone wishes to join me, meet me in the hangar beneath the mansion in fifteen minutes.

[Deaths Jester]

Urgh...I'm not sure I'm up to a beat down with a Fifth Dimension hooligan...I mean, those guys make us Seventh Dimension boozers look like little cute kittens hyped up on catnip!  I daresay ye might want to call in the big guns on this one!

[Sword]

:sword There's five, but they're not fifth dimensions. They are more like human with control over sadness and loneliness.
:deadpool: Sounds like a lame superpower, true. But think of what happens if they find a singles group or a funeral. They can magnify those feelings to unholy levels. That's why I'm out.
:sword OK. It's just an open invitation to meet my old group. I'm sure the Twilight Corps would like to meet you guys.
:spam: You don't seem to think very much of the Dimension Lords. Are they a threat?
:sword Yes. But they're also victims of the same process that created me. They are pitiable, not pitiful.

[kkhohoho]

:sword There's five, but they're not fifth dimensions. They are more like human with control over sadness and loneliness.
:deadpool: Sounds like a lame superpower, true. But think of what happens if they find a singles group or a funeral. They can magnify those feelings to unholy levels. That's why I'm out.
:sword OK. It's just an open invitation to meet my old group. I'm sure the Twilight Corps would like to meet you guys.
:spam: You don't seem to think very much of the Dimension Lords. Are they a threat?
:sword Yes. But they're also victims of the same process that created me. They are pitiable, not pitiful.

:santa: So we're going up against 5 lords with control over sadness and loneliness whom could make us feel downright miserble?  Count me in! :thumbup:

[Spam]

:spam: *high-fives kkhohoho*

:spam: "Let's do this!"

[Sword]

*slaps a teleport tag on both Spam and Hohoho*
:sword Alright, we're off. Next Stop, Sunrise City
:swordteleport
*the three arrive in a metropolis with an ocean view*
:sword *sticks out arm and clotheslines a passing speedster* Joe... Voice, how've you been?
  :castlebravo: Sword... don't do that! I need... to... catch my breath.
:sword It's always worked before. You do have a telekinetic field.
:castlebravo: True. You're here about the Dimension Lords, right?
:sword Yup. Anything new on that front?
:castlebravo: Well, they have learned how to manifest negative emotions. They're trying to harvest it to make a giant monster.
:sword That is new. Are they active in that pursuit?
:castlebravo: Not at the moment. You know they only function at night.
:sword True. Well, Voice. These two are Spam and KKhohoho from the Phantasmal Avatars.
:castlebravo: Heard of that. New group, huh? Well, meet me back at pyramid towers.
:sword see you there.


:penguin :penguin :penguin *gibberish*
:sword Hey. Tony Sally and Dan. How's punchout?
:penguin: *gibberish*
:sword That's not like him...
:penguin: *gibberish*
:sword The dimension lords hit him? Dang. What happened to Dawnstrider?
:penguin: *more gibberish*
:sword Off-world? Well that explans why he'd be lonely. This is Spam and the santa impersonator is KKhohoho. I'll see you flipper birds at the pyramids.

[Spam]

:spam: *waves at the penguins*

:spam: "HI BIRDIES!!"

[kkhohoho]

:spam: *waves at the penguins*

:spam: "HI BIRDIES!!"

:santa: I remember Penquins.  I first saw them when I manifested aways back in the North Pole.  Most penquins live in the South Pole, but Santa always keeps at least 50 penquins in the north to test out the elf's new water toys.  On my grand journey to the closest ship journeying out of that frozen wasteland, I roasted some alive for dinner.  Good times...good times.

[Sword]

:sword All right you two, I'll give you a quick tour of my city.
:swordteleport
First stop, Killer Riiffs. This is a music store run by my friend Anthem. *looks over the counter* Where is he?
Clerk: Anthem? Didn't you hear? He and the Gilded Rose started a band. They're touring the midwest right now.
:sword They sell musical weapons here too. Chuck, give me a pair of Guitar Blades for these two chuckleheads.
Chuck: Energy or Normal?
:sword Energy.
Chuck: I'll send them to the pyramid towers for you.
:sword All right you two, next stop is Dr Wyvern's. It's a combination joke shop and soda fountain.
:moribundi2 Hey Sword. All six of me welcome you.
:sword The fake blood isn't fooling anyone.
:moribundi2 Fake blood? Nah, this isn't fake blood. It's a new soda that Incognito and I made. It's raspberry cheesecake flavored.
:sword Point of note, you two. Never try to watch this guy eat if you value your sanity. Strike that. not a problem. Next on the tour, is Sweet Tooth Station. All manner of sugary weapons for your use. Just lick and toss.
:krycher Hey Sword. It's gonna get dark soon. Take these. *hands over a bag of rock candy* Solar Flare Snaps. Creates a sunlamp effect for fifteen seconds.
:sword Right. How about letting my associates look through your wares?
:krycher I've got no problem with it. They look sane enough.

[Spam]

:spam: "Hmm... What're these? These look like lollipops..."

:spam: *reaches down for a lollipop to perhaps eat it*

[kkhohoho]

:spam: "Hmm... What're these? These look like lollipops..."

:spam: *reaches down for a lollipop to perhaps eat it*

:santa: *Notices a meaty idiot reaching for a lollie, then remembers that the effects of this store's candy being licked could be diasterous. The Santa fake then decides to watch the soon-to-be spectacle, but remembers that Spam can explode, and figures that if an explosive being was exploded, the explosion could be magnified to very dangerous proportions.*

:santa: You might not want to eat that Spam.  *The evil santa then creates a big bag out of seemingly nothingness, and brings out of it a red and white striped treat.*  Here, have a candy cane.  I stole it from Santa.