PALS: Phantsmal Avatar Leage of Superheroes

[Spam]

:spam: "Yes... That's right... I'll be the leader today... Yes..."

...

:spam: "So uh, where do I go, and I how I make you people to follow my pwnage leadage of the pwn?"

FORIAMSPAM!

[Sword]

:sword I think our friend Prem might know. *casually cuts a demon that had latched onto spam in two*

[Deaths Jester]

*finally recovered from his Richard Simmons low-alcohol level catastrophe, DJ slowly thumbs the PALS ship's communicator button* 

'Ello?!?!?!  Is this bloody thing working?!?!?!  Can any of the bloody sods that call themselves members of the PALS...which I daresay I am part of....'ear me?!?!?!

*Utterly flabbergasted by the communicator's abilities, DJ starts to hit random buttons and spin random dials*

Let's see if this does anything.....

[Sword]

*the Hyper Vector Jet lifts off, skims across the street, spins around in five circles,  and finally crashes right near the team.*
:sword *teleports into the wreckage amd drags out DJ* Stupid Question, but are you all right?

[Premonitioner]

:spam: "Yes... That's right... I'll be the leader today... Yes..."

...

:spam: "So uh, where do I go, and I how I make you people to follow my pwnage leadage of the pwn?"

FORIAMSPAM!

*prem looks at spam for a moment and hides a small smile.*

:prem: leadership aside, what took you guys so long? The volcano is increda hot right now and I think I fell asleep or something because i think i stood here for a very long time. Anyway, let's catch you all up.

*prem points at tpe*

:prem: TPE has a clone.

...

:prem: Or not. It seems another person of tpe's caliber is in existence and has formed a small cult inside this here volcano. I stumbled upon this cult and was asked to bring tpe to them. I wasn't expecting any danger, so I did it...and now paris is once again overrun with demons...seems lke a yearly event, ya know?

*prem points down into the volcano*

:prem: The phantom noselip is expecting tpe and I to come alone...so you guys will have to stay in secret and follow at a distance, I guess? I'm still not clear on phantasmic powers, but i figured this might work like a charm...course we gotta find a way down there for you non fliers. I'm not sure how well blind teleporting would work in this case.

[kkhohoho]

:spam: "Yes... That's right... I'll be the leader today... Yes..."

...

:spam: "So uh, where do I go, and I how I make you people to follow my pwnage leadage of the pwn?"

FORIAMSPAM!

*prem looks at spam for a moment and hides a small smile.*

:prem: leadership aside, what took you guys so long? The volcano is increda hot right now and I think I fell asleep or something because i think i stood here for a very long time. Anyway, let's catch you all up.

*prem points at tpe*

:prem: TPE has a clone.

...

:prem: Or not. It seems another person of tpe's caliber is in existence and has formed a small cult inside this here volcano. I stumbled upon this cult and was asked to bring tpe to them. I wasn't expecting any danger, so I did it...and now paris is once again overrun with demons...seems lke a yearly event, ya know?

*prem points down into the volcano*

:prem: The phantom noselip is expecting tpe and I to come alone...so you guys will have to stay in secret and follow at a distance, I guess? I'm still not clear on phantasmic powers, but i figured this might work like a charm...course we gotta find a way down there for you non fliers. I'm not sure how well blind teleporting would work in this case.

I can jump down, so long as someone laughs the whole way.  I don't want to get burned...

[Sword]

*rummages around in the wreckage of the jet*
:sword Antimatter Jello Vulcan for DJ... Cryonic Pills for Spam... a set of razoredged LPs just in case...  As for teleportation *attaches a camera bot to a teleport tag, makes the tag and camera invisible and drops it in the volcano*
:sword I'm guiding the tag by remote control to fall in a place where the lava has cooled. And... done. That should allow to teleport in without it being a blind 'port. Premo, the camera can pick up voice. What will you use for a subtle "Get your butts down here" signal?

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* The Phantom watches with pride as his comrades go into action like a well-oiled machine (insert your own DJ joke here), waiting until Sword completes his volcano-endoscopy before chiming in with the following well-chosen words *

:eyebrow: { Well done team, well done.  When the chips are down and the steaks are high, I know I can count on you lot.  It is clear to me that you know your onions and I can think of nobody I would rather have by my side when its my backside in the bacon-slicer.  Time now to enter the heat of the kitchen...

* As they prepare to enter, a final thought crosses the fine mind and (being a vocal sort of spectre) he voices it *

:eyebrow: { I feel I must reiterate the words of warning issued by Prem regarding this expedition.  As fellow phantoms, I am sure you are all capable to various extents to blend into the shadows and to enter this realm unseen.  Um... well some of you are at least.  Sword, I want you to keep an eye on some of the more... boisterous elements of the group and try and impart some of your ninjaly ways to them...

* A final pause and then the Eyebrow sets his shoulders in an aspect of resolution *

:eyebrow: { Myself and Prem will enter, making some noise en route so as to draw attention from the rest of you.  This is clearly a dangerous approach and not one I suggest lightly.  The rest of you will have to remain in close proximity so that if things do go pear-shaped, you can quickly enaction a rescue.  Sword, we must have some manner of sub-etheral communication devices by which we can remain in continuous contact within the confines of this magma chamber eh? 

[Premonitioner]

*prem thinks a moment and suddenly speaks*

:prem: I'll subtly say, "can't we be civil about this? (2 second pause)...well, good thing I brought backup."

*prem jumps into the volcano and begins to float effortlessly down.*

:prem: Sir TPE, my teke field around you shall let you fall gently to the rock below...unless you do something wild. If you should do something wild, you might end up being thrown across town. General warning. :P


*meanwhile*

:ph34r: They are coming master...and there seems to be more of them! What is it you want us to do about thissss, sir?

:eyebrow: Let...them...come! I ave a fabulous party planned for my kindred. The phantom Eyebrow shall cower before....THE PHANTOM NOPESLIP!   :angry:

:ph34r: Yes...phantom noselip.   :huh:

[Sword]

* The Phantom watches with pride as his comrades go into action like a well-oiled machine (insert your own DJ joke here), waiting until Sword completes his volcano-endoscopy before chiming in with the following well-chosen words *

:eyebrow: { Well done team, well done.  When the chips are down and the steaks are high, I know I can count on you lot.  It is clear to me that you know your onions and I can think of nobody I would rather have by my side when its my backside in the bacon-slicer.  Time now to enter the heat of the kitchen...

:sword For some reason I have a craving for a Philly Cheesesteak with bacon.

:eyebrow: { Myself and Prem will enter, making some noise en route so as to draw attention from the rest of you.  This is clearly a dangerous approach and not one I suggest lightly.  The rest of you will have to remain in close proximity so that if things do go pear-shaped, you can quickly enaction a rescue.  Sword, we must have some manner of sub-etheral communication devices by which we can remain in continuous contact within the confines of this magma chamber eh?

:sword You've already got such. It's how we tracked you. yours is built into your cowl. Two minutes after you go in, I'll teleport the others in invisibly.
DJ: How the 'ell do I use this thing? *holds up the antimatter jello cannon*
:sword Small end towards enemy. Squeeze the trigger, don't pull it. But if you want your vodka, don't pull it now. If you do, I'm restricting you to... bottom shelf champagne and rotka.
*to Eyebrow and Prem* Good luck. May whatever deity you believe in give you the power to kick butt in his/her name.

[Deaths Jester]

*the Hyper Vector Jet lifts off, skims across the street, spins around in five circles,  and finally crashes right near the team.*
:sword *teleports into the wreckage amd drags out DJ* Stupid Question, but are you all right?

Urgh.....thanks for the drag out Sword.  As for ye question...ummm...I think so..though the arm that got removed awhile back...I think the duct-tape is beginning to fray a bit.

* The Phantom watches with pride as his comrades go into action like a well-oiled machine (insert your own DJ joke here), waiting until Sword completes his volcano-endoscopy before chiming in with the following well-chosen words *

:eyebrow: { Well done team, well done.  When the chips are down and the steaks are high, I know I can count on you lot.  It is clear to me that you know your onions and I can think of nobody I would rather have by my side when its my backside in the bacon-slicer.  Time now to enter the heat of the kitchen...

:sword For some reason I have a craving for a Philly Cheesesteak with bacon.

DJ: How the 'ell do I use this thing? *holds up the antimatter jello cannon*
:sword Small end towards enemy. Squeeze the trigger, don't pull it. But if you want your vodka, don't pull it now. If you do, I'm restricting you to... bottom shelf champagne and rotka.

Bottom shelf champagne and rotka?!?!?!?!  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Okay..I'll behave, I promise.  *accidently squeezes the trigger while it's aimed at Spam, thus antimatter jelloing him*  Eeepp!!!  I didn't mean to do that, please don't put me on Bottom shelf champagne, that stuff makes me act like Paris Hilton...and really who wants ME to act like Paris Hilton?

[Sword]

:sword this is supposed to be stealthy. everyone quiet.*takes the gun for DJ* *looks up* Someone feed the three headed hellhound a treat, or our cover will be blown even worse than we already have.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* Following Prem into the lair, but still anxious to ensure his allies are in close proximity, the Eyebrow ponders once more on this spectral abomination that confronts him now *

:eyebrow:  :angry: { By gravy this Noselip may be laughing now, but when when I'm through with him he'll be smiling out the other side of his face!

[Spam]

:spam: *unable to take the pressure of this high-end situation, Spam diligently, but softly, whispers these words*

:spam: "banana hammock..."

FORIAMSPAM!

[Deaths Jester]

:sword this is supposed to be stealthy. everyone quiet.*takes the gun for DJ* *looks up* Someone feed the three headed hellhound a treat, or our cover will be blown even worse than we already have.

*sulks slightly, seeing as his weapon has been confiscated again*  Blast it!!  That was only a mistake!!  Really!!  And what's this about a three headed hellhound and it needing a treat?  I don't see....*notices the three headed hellhound all of a sudden*...oh there it is.  Hmmm...I wonder...*removes his duct-taped arm and tosses it to the hellhound which it commences to gnaw happily on*  There ye go, good doggie!  Doggie like the treat!!  Someone make a note that when we get back to HQ, I'm going to need to find a fresh corpse to steal an arm from.  Man, what I'm willing to do for this team.....

[Premonitioner]

* Following Prem into the lair, but still anxious to ensure his allies are in close proximity, the Eyebrow ponders once more on this spectral abomination that confronts him now *

:eyebrow:  :angry: { By gravy this Noselip may be laughing now, but when when I'm through with him he'll be smiling out the other side of his face!

:prem: That's oddly funny, TPE.

*prem steps into the shadows and touches a small button hidden under a jagged rock. The volcano rumbles a bit as a sudden burst of lava heads towards the two heroes.*

:prem: Ok, TPE. This is it! Get down!

*lava pours over the heroes for several moments before it dissipates leaving only steam, smoke, and the smell of molten rock.*

:prem: That wasn't so bad, right? Thank the heavens for these oh so convenient trenches encased in magic. The phantom noselip thought of everything...now up ahead, we might have to fight some undead skeletons. The noselip has trust issues.


*meanwhile...in the shadows*

:ph34r: Look at those foooools! Feeding hellhounds as their fellow heroes walk towards their doom. I'll have to take care of them...we'll have to take care of them, right magma skeletors? HAHAHAHAHAHA

[kkhohoho]

* Following Prem into the lair, but still anxious to ensure his allies are in close proximity, the Eyebrow ponders once more on this spectral abomination that confronts him now *

:eyebrow:  :angry: { By gravy this Noselip may be laughing now, but when when I'm through with him he'll be smiling out the other side of his face!

:prem: That's oddly funny, TPE.

*prem steps into the shadows and touches a small button hidden under a jagged rock. The volcano rumbles a bit as a sudden burst of lava heads towards the two heroes.*

:prem: Ok, TPE. This is it! Get down!

*lava pours over the heroes for several moments before it dissipates leaving only steam, smoke, and the smell of molten rock.*

:prem: That wasn't so bad, right? Thank the heavens for these oh so convenient trenches encased in magic. The phantom noselip thought of everything...now up ahead, we might have to fight some undead skeletons. The noselip has trust issues.

:santa: In that case, I see two possible plans of action.  1.We do whatever we can to completly destroy them, which might be rather hard, seeing as the only possible tools we have to do so are my energy laughs and TPE's eyebrows. Oh, and Spam's explosive abilities.  2.We have DJ, a fellow living corpse, try to negoiate with the walking dead.  Maby he can give them booze or something...

[Sword]

:sword DJ part with his booze, willingly? no force in the 'verse can make that happen. *throws up an invisibility field around his team.*

[Deaths Jester]

:sword DJ part with his booze, willingly? no force in the 'verse can make that happen. *throws up an invisibility field around his team.*

*clutches his bottle of vodka close to his chest and wander out from under the invisibility field unknowingly*  "Damn straight I ain't bloody parting with me booze!!"  *notices that the evil undead are staring at him curiously* "Ummm....why are they staring at me?  I thought Sword threw an invisibility field aroudn us!"  *Slowly but surely the undead begin to bow before DJ.*  "Uhhhhh...guys....can someone explain this stuff to me...please???"

[Spam]

:spam: "Wha-huh? I have explosive abilities? When did somebody figure this out? Was it when I was in the bathroom?"

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* The Eyebrow is quietly impressed by Prem's display in negating the burning heat of the magma.  Not that it presented any real risk to one who can be the (very) embodiment of spectrality (itself), but still it is good to see that he has a competent ally at his side.  (Not a situation that one can always take for granted in the curious (but rarely dull) world of the Phantasmal Avatar League of Superheroes *

[Sword]

Sword awaits any sign of action. It must be a really deep volcano.

[kkhohoho]

:spam: "Wha-huh? I have explosive abilities? When did somebody figure this out? Was it when I was in the bathroom?"

:santa: Don't you remember your ability to explode?  And couldn't you fly?  Or did I just drink one too many beers...

[Spam]

:spam: "Wha-huh? I have explosive abilities? When did somebody figure this out? Was it when I was in the bathroom?"

:santa: Don't you remember your ability to explode?  And couldn't you fly?  Or did I just drink one too many beers...

"We have beer? Or did we have beer? Or perhaps DJ drank it all... And yes, I can fly... But I didn't think I could..."

*explodes*

*regenerates*

"explode... Oh yeah, I remember now..."

FORIAMSPAM!

[Premonitioner]

*prem and tpe walk towards a giant stone door with several letters and drawings engraved in them. Prem lightly touches a drawing that resembles the phantom eyebrow and it glows a bright purple color before opening in a slow but grand manner. Smoke and heat poured from the cracks in the slowly opening door and prem quickly stepped back to avoid being burned...or suffocated.*

:prem: Here we go, TPE. The person we've been waiting to meet is just beyond this door.

*inside of the foggy room were several cloaked figures, who somewhat resembled TPE...but slightly shorter and a little more plump.*

:prem: They've been wanting to meet you for the longest time. I think they were humans at one time...i suspect the phantom noselip has been up to no good. What do you think?

*prem sends a telepathic message to sword*

:prem: We're almost at the big cheese...but you should be careful. A shadow may be stalking you...but he's as slow as rock rolling up a hill at times.

[Sword]

:sword *telepathically* Understood, Prem. I'll be waiting.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

:prem: Here we go, TPE. The person we've been waiting to meet is just beyond this door.

*inside of the foggy room were several cloaked figures, who somewhat resembled TPE...but slightly shorter and a little more plump.*

:prem: They've been wanting to meet you for the longest time. I think they were humans at one time...i suspect the phantom noselip has been up to no good. What do you think?

* The Eyebrow enters the room with his customary caution.  If these Eyebrow-like creatures each possess but a fraction of the Phantom's (own) might then they surely possess the power to make the (very) earth tremble before them! *

"Er... hail fellows, well met.  Eyebrow's the name.  Phantom Eyebrow.  And what do you handsome fellows call yourselves?"

[Deaths Jester]

*looks around and notices he's been left alone with the worshipping undead*

Uhhh....team??  Anyone there??  I'm kinda been left alone with worshipping undead again?  Uh...hello??

*looks back at the worshipping undead*

Oh well, at least I've got worshippers.  Hey, any of ye guys know how to get to the leader of this place?

[Sword]

The Undead tilt their heads, looking at DJ, then at a poster of 1980's Michael Jackson, then at the volcano. Finally a smart zombie points to the volcano.

[Premonitioner]

:prem: Here we go, TPE. The person we've been waiting to meet is just beyond this door.

*inside of the foggy room were several cloaked figures, who somewhat resembled TPE...but slightly shorter and a little more plump.*

:prem: They've been wanting to meet you for the longest time. I think they were humans at one time...i suspect the phantom noselip has been up to no good. What do you think?

* The Eyebrow enters the room with his customary caution.  If these Eyebrow-like creatures each possess but a fraction of the Phantom's (own) might then they surely possess the power to make the (very) earth tremble before them! *

"Er... hail fellows, well met.  Eyebrow's the name.  Phantom Eyebrow.  And what do you handsome fellows call yourselves?"

*the small plump phantasmals stare at TPE and smile...or did something that resembled a smile before rallying around him and tugging at his cloak. Prem jumped aside and looked on with caution*

:prem: TPE, I really think you should be ready to fight...or they really really love you.

*meanwhile, an eerie voice speaks*

voice: And so we shall finally meet, Eyebrow, and the quandry of why you abandoned your people and named yourself such a ridiculous name shall be answered!

*outside, the zombies begin to glow a primal red colour and their appearance grows more gruesome. A small man appears before sword, who somewhat resembles tpe as well...only with a tail and claws, and points*

:ph34r: Thissss seeeemmms like a good time to fight! My primal zombies shall eat you alive!