PALS: Phantsmal Avatar Leage of Superheroes

[Sword]

Sword vanishes from the phantasmal's sight, teleporting to the midst of the zombies.
:sword Dekamaster Special Time!
*sword teleports from zombie to zombie, scoring surgical strikes on each one until a hundred zombies have fallen.*
*sword picks up the Antimatter Jello Vulcan and fires it into another swarm of zombies*
:sword Spam, do a stratosphere dive! DJ, control as many zombies as you can. *teleports behind hohoho and starts laughing*

[Deaths Jester]

Sword vanishes from the phantasmal's sight, teleporting to the midst of the zombies.
:sword Dekamaster Special Time!
*sword teleports from zombie to zombie, scoring surgical strikes on each one until a hundred zombies have fallen.*
*sword picks up the Antimatter Jello Vulcan and fires it into another swarm of zombies*
:sword Spam, do a stratosphere dive! DJ, control as many zombies as you can. *teleports behind hohoho and starts laughing*

"Ach...but their all red and gooey looking now!  I mean, yeah, I'm all gooey looking but I've got class." *looks about and notices nobody is paying any attention to his whining*  "Oh alright, I guess I'll do something." *raises his rotten hand in the air*  "Fellow undead, turn against ye short master!  Rise up and throw off the shackles he has put on ye!  SO says DJ!!!"

[Sword]

For a moment, the zombies look at DJ, then at the phantasmal. then back at DJ. at least fifty zombies  immediately start attacking their fellow undead, and twenty others surround the phantasmal.
:sword *teleports behind the phantasmal, attaches one teleport tag to an upper crag of the volcano, and one to a rock ten feet below the first*
:sword going up! *teleports himself, the phantasmal and five of the phantasmal's undead servants to the first teleport tag* *teleports out*
DJ: Somehow, I gotta think an endless 'portin' loop is torture.
:sword No one ever said I had to fight fair.
Phantasmal I'll *port* Get *port* my *port* revenge* port* someday*port*
:sword OK, DJ take the antimatter cannon, set it to low. We're going to play Duck Hunt.

[ow_tiobe_sb]

:sword OK, DJ take the antimatter cannon, set it to low. We're going to play Duck Hunt.

  <_< { A duck hunt?  How barbaric! *To punctuate his sudden arrival, TPB glumly drops a small suitcase covered in customs stamps from Guam, Figi, The Netherlands, Spain, Pago Pago, Sirius, Mookbah, Ancient Greece, and Pangea with a distinct crash.*

:) { *Shrugging his shoulders and dusting off his top hat, TPB removes his cane from the top of his bag, dons an optimistic smile--which he flashes at Sword--and asks* How may The Phantom Bunburyist be of assistance, my good man? *TPB's cane becomes pregnant with greenish energy in anticipation of Sword's directives.*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Sword]

:sword Ah Bunburyist. see that thing up there, caught in a perpetual loop so often that his legs appear above his head? I'll need someone to inflict gradual amounts of pain upon him so he cannot report to his superiors. I will also need Lane's Evil Zombie Petrification Kit for the undead now around us. The eyebrow is within the volcano, fighting an imposter of himself.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

voice: And so we shall finally meet, Eyebrow, and the quandry of why you abandoned your people and named yourself such a ridiculous name shall be answered!

* The Eyebrow responds to this sinsister accusation with strident grace *

:eyebrow: { Abandoned them!?  Abandoned who!?  You must be deluded or mad!  (Or both I suppose.  They need not be mutually exclusive...).  I am merely a phsyical manifestation of the cosmos made real (if you'll pardon the redundancy of that last declaration).  The fact that I am know as The Eyebrow was merely to fit in with the theme of the earthly heroes I had allied myself during my first manifestation.  World War II it was (a time when so many heroes had their origin) and I had teamed up with a brave band of heroes to fight the good fight:  The brave Captain Moustache, an inspiraitonal leader... The beautiful but deadly Lady Eyelash... the bluff an stout-hearted Muttonchop... and who can forget The Flying Wig?  Ah what would that crazy fellow do next? 

* Lost in this nostalgic reverie, the Phantom looks up to see the gathering hoardes impatiently tapping their feet waiting for some point to this story *

:eyebrow: { Yes... well... my point is that if you have clearly fashioned yourself with a vaguely similar appelation to me in some misguided attempt to assume solidarity; had I teamed up with a squadron of soldiers I might as easily be known now as the Phantom Beret (perhaps).  There is nothing fundamentally hairy about the fabric of the universe you know.

* The customary pause to the oration as the Phantom Eyebrow allows his words to strike home and sink in for this hidden interlocutor *

:eyebrow: { ...or... is there?  Can it be the case that I was destined to assume this name as part of some greater picture?  Can it be...?  Who are you sir!?  Show yourself and face me; Brow to Nose, as it were.

[Premonitioner]

*from behind sword steps a dark shadowy figure*

:ph34r: Ohhhh nooo nooo nooo, ninja, you do not get to leave this battle unscathe! How dare you hurttttt my poooorrrrr followwwer!

*a bunch of phantasmals with powers just below tpe's level appear (bunch = 10)*

:ph34r: This battle ssssssshall not end until you orrrrr meeeee eeeeend uppppp deeeeadddd!

*the phantasmal pulls out a sharp sword and points it at the bunburyist*

:ph34r: He ssssshall be the firssssst to fall! Teleport loops rarely work on a phantasssssmal no matterrrr how high techhhh the gear, fooooollllssss!

*a small explosion happens near the opening of the volcano and molten rock begins to roll down one side of the steep hill*

:ph34r: Seemsssss like our battleground is ssssset for one final showdownnnn...and it ssssshall truly take a team of youuuu to ssssstop ussss!

*meanwhile, prem stares on with a slightly blank and slightly cautious look. He half expected TPE to go on with his lecture until...BOOM!*

:prem: Ok, when a volcano goes boom...something bad is happening!

*the phantom noselip appears from the shadows of the room and grabs TPE's face and speaks softly*

phantom noselip: It is I who sall be asking the questions, dear kin. Your betrayal as been most unkind and...

*his eyes begin to glow a dark red*

phantom noselip: My people want you to pay for it.

*the phantasmals all begin to chant*

:prem: Um, TPE...I think we have a problem!

phantom noselip: You do indeed...because wat I want...is your power and your soul! So says the phantom nopeslip!

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* With reflexive panic, the Eyebrow's eyebrows crackle with power as he is confronted by this less handsome doppelganger of himself.  Controlling the urge to slam twin bolts of eldritch energy into his adversary on the basis that if he is anything like himself then he will likely be able to absorb them ('he' being the Noselip and 'himself' the Eyebrow should the narration of the previous passage be lacking clarity at all).  Instead, with a mighty shrug of his forehead-fringe he hits the Noselip and any nearby mini-brows with his patented Raised Eyebrows attack, subjecting them all to a bulk telekinetic lift designed to slam them forceably (for there is no other way than forceably) into the ceiling; hopefully leaving them to then drop in graceless heaps onto the ground *

[Sword]

*Clutches the newcomer around the throat*
:sword I have faced the Omegus, the Pendragon, and Celestros the Conqueror. You are nothing to me. *Switches the Vulcan from Antimatter to Liquid Nitrogen*
*drops the newcomer and stands facing the phantasmals*
*pulls out one of his four swords*
:sword This blade is known by two names. Ghostbane and Hope's Light. With it, I can cut through an army of ghostly creatures. Fight me.
DJ: Allright ya undead mooks! I'm orderin you ta form an undead wall around the base of the volcano. As many of you as it will take to hold back the lava.
Spam *picks up the cryo cannon* DING! Idea! *Spam dashes into the Jet* Wave Amplifier. Wave Amplifier. Got it! *attaches the amplifier to the cannon*
Lane: Someone mentioned my Zombie Petrifciation Kit. It seems, however that Grendel's Ghostlock device will work better. Master Hohoho! *tosses a claw-like device to kkhohoho.* Use that on the spectrals to make them solid!

[ow_tiobe_sb]

  :huh: { Zounds!  Lane!  I thought I'd lost you in that hurricane off Haiti!...And to think I've been toting my things all this time by my lonesome!

:| { Yes, sir, a very great pity.  I shall raise the matter at the next meeting of the Junior Ganymede Club; however, at this time, sir, might I urge you to, as one says, "leap into action"?

  <_< { Aye, that you may, Lane, but you may take as my oath that there will be a reckoning.  Mark my words, sir.

:| { Very good, sir.

:) { *TPB grins as he watches the evil elf solidify the phantasmals* Now, gentlemen, please allow me to introduce myself.  I am The Phantom Bunburyist, at your service. *With that, the Bunburyist performs a delicate pirouette, his cane glowing brightly in his outstretched arm, and tosses a powerful arc of greenish energy that catches the formerly spectral beings squarely in their solid middles.*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Premonitioner]

*several spectrals are hit by the green energy and begin to writhe in pain in such a way that they somewhat look like they're dancing. Smoke pours from the cloaks of the phantasmals and their skin begins to melt into the earth. 6 phantasmals remain and they all surround TPB*

:ph34r: Getttt himmmmmm!

*the phantasmals jump on TPB before he can react and teleport to the top of the volcano*

:ph34r: Pusssssh him innnn!

*meanwhile, prem is caught in TPE's attack and is forced upward and finally smashes into the side of the volcano. Damaged, but fairly unscathed, prem gets to his feet and dashes towards TPE's side.*

:prem: Nice...nice...nice job. That took a few down.

*The phantom noselip stares at tpe and smiles*

phantom noselip: Easily absorbable. My followers may be alf uman, but I am carved from the same material as you!

*the noselip twitches his nose and a strong telekinetic force expands throughout the room causing everything to shake. Prem manages to lift TPE and himself just a few feet off of the ground and cover them in a thin shield.*

phantom noselip: Let's go, you pathetic clone! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

*noselip jumps towards TPE in the hopes that a physical assault will be much better than power usage.*

:prem: Oh snap...you know, I know this is a battle and all, but I apologize for my bad interjection. -_-

[ow_tiobe_sb]

  :angry: { *As the pack of ungentlemanly phantasmals surrounds and manhandles the Bunburyist near the mouth of the volcano, a strange whir begins to grow and quickly reaches a crescendo.  Suddenly, a dome of greenish energy repels the phantasmals, sending them flying outward in every direction.  Within the translucent dome, TPB takes to his feet, still holding his cane above his head as its energies surge forth providing a protective force shield.* I say!  I say! That was a very close shave!  You phantasmal chaps truly should take more care when you--

*The precipice beneath TPB's feet crumbles violently, tossing the unwitting dandy into the mouth of the volcano...*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[kkhohoho]

 :santa: Hmm...Something feels wrong...like I've been controlled by multiple forces.........NAH!  *Energy-laughs some phantoms, then notices TPB falling into a firey abyss.*  Looks like TPB's taking another unplanned adventure.  *Amazingly energy laughs at a peice of the inside of the volcanoe, in hopes that it will reach the lava before TPB, allowing TPB a safe, yet possibly almost fatal landing.*

[ow_tiobe_sb]

*Amazingly energy laughs at a peice of the inside of the volcanoe, in hopes that it will reach the lava before TPB, allowing TPB a safe, yet possibly almost fatal landing.*

  :o { *TPB crashes onto the laugh-loosened, rocky debris with a sound thump to his left shoulder.  Actually, 'twas more of a crunch than a thump, but the shoulder did indeed receive a sound thumping.  In any case, the dandy, wincing in pain at what will surely prove to be a separated joint, quickly rights himself to assess his new surroundings.* That fall felt safe yet almost fatal. ... I'll take those absurd odds! 

  :unsure: { *Adjusting his hat, which appears to have succumbed to a slow burn, TPB wonders* Now, what was it that I did to extract myself from this very sort of sorry situation last time?

:| { I believe you called upon my services, sir.

  :o { *Startled by Lane's sudden reply at the dandy's elbow, TPB spins around, shifts his left arm, cries out in agony, attempts to recover some composure by reciting the first line of Virgil's Aeneid, and feebly inquires* Lane...how many times have I pleaded with you not to surprise me so?

:| { I am afraid I haven't the leisure to count at the moment, sir.  *Lane brandishes one of Grendal's grappling guns and fires it at the mouth of the volcano.*  Sir, if it please you, we really should be going.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Sword]

:sword *fights with the phantasmals*
:deadpool: AAAHK! *falls on top of the phantasms*
:sword Wade, were did you come from?
:deadpool: Heck if I know... I remember Hercules getting drunk, some kind of lightning bolt and then I wound up here? Man, Paris has really let itself go. Gimme a sitrep.
:sword Ghosts. Volcano Erupting. Evil Clones of ghostly hero types.
:deadpool: Hmm. nice summary. I've already contacted Nate. Meanwhile, toss me a katana and we'll kick some ghost butt.
:sword There you go!
:deadpool: First to fifty, loser buys the drinks.
:sword Deal!

[Deaths Jester]

Ack...my head...it hurts from so much explody and fighting stuff....I need a bloody drink!  Hey...one of ye undead...bring me a bloody vodka bottle!  *with this a lone undaed staggers off to get a bottle of vodka*

[Spam]

*stratosphere dives into the first bad looking person he can find*

:spam: "... Was I too late? I was too late, wasn't I?"

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

*meanwhile, prem is caught in TPE's attack and is forced upward and finally smashes into the side of the volcano. Damaged, but fairly unscathed, prem gets to his feet and dashes towards TPE's side.*

:prem: Nice...nice...nice job. That took a few down.

*The phantom noselip stares at tpe and smiles*

phantom noselip: Easily absorbable. My followers may be alf uman, but I am carved from the same material as you!

*the noselip twitches his nose and a strong telekinetic force expands throughout the room causing everything to shake. Prem manages to lift TPE and himself just a few feet off of the ground and cover them in a thin shield.*

phantom noselip: Let's go, you pathetic clone! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

*noselip jumps towards TPE in the hopes that a physical assault will be much better than power usage.*

:prem: Oh snap...you know, I know this is a battle and all, but I apologize for my bad interjection. -_-

* Despite the reassurance of Prem's shield, the Eyebrow reflexively assumes his Spectral Aspect the better that any assaults would pass harmlessly through.  His initial trepidation at fighting a seemingly equally matched foe is slightly offset by the proximity of his allies from the mighty supergroup known as the PALS.  Plus, he stil can't quite get over the fact that this evil alter ego seems to need to twitch his nose to activite his powers.  Where's the dignity, the grandeur, in such a gesture?  He asks himself (rhetorically) *

[Sword]

:sword 32!
:deadpool: 29!
*The two continue a pitched battle against the ghosts as the lava creeps towards them.*
:deadpool: Hey Spammy! You see that Ice Gun? Fire it at the lava!
:sword Good plan. Then there'll be a cloud of steam that will allow these ghosts and their bosses to easily escape.
:deadpool: Oh. Strike that. Use it to make trenches in the volcano that'll channel the lava away from the city!
:sword Better. And by the way, 40!
:deadpool: Dang it!

[Premonitioner]

*OT: Dunno if it needs to be said or not...but it'd take years for ice to make any sort of "trench"/damage to a volcano unless it was a very forceful strike...and with the heat of the volcano's exterior + the lava...the ice wouldnt stay ice very long and would probably cause more damage to the team than it would be of help.*

*back in the interior of the volcano, prem watches as tpn passes right through tpe and smashes into a wall. A small wail is heard and tpn's follower's run to his side and help him up. Moments later, the figures are absorbed into tpn's cloak and his eyes begin to glow a dark red color*

noselip: I WILL DESTROY YOU, TRAITOR EYEBROW! YOU HAVE DISGRACED MY PEOPLE FOR TOO LONG! I DESERVE YOUR PLACE IN LIFE! AND...

*noselip produces a bunch of uriah records*

noselip: I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!

*noselip twitches his noise and a minor telekinetic blast breaks all the records in his hand and the several that are stored in a box on the floor.*

noselip: You're next!

*prem floats upward leaving tpe and tpn to battle.*

:prem: crap...i forgot the battle cry! Wait...I sense someone is in...what the!

*prem notices a purple colored figure flying out the volcano and suddenly he's hit by a small telekinetic push*

:prem: TPE, if he's truly your equal...then you must know of a way to stop him!

[ow_tiobe_sb]

*prem notices a purple colored figure flying out the volcano and suddenly he's hit by a small telekinetic push*

OOG: I'll interpret that sentence to mean that Prem, not TPB, was "hit by a small telekinetic push."  If I have erred, I am certain that 'twill be rewritten when this extra-canonical tale is reprinted in trade paperback form.  ^_^

  :o { I say! I say! Lane, I'd like to take my leave of this ride now! *the Bunburyist cried as Lane emerged from the volcano with the dandy tucked under his arm*

:| { Very good, sir.  You see?  We have arrived. *The valet releases his employer.*

  :o { *noticing Prem for the first time* Yes, we've arrived, Lane...We've arrived in a nest of vipers!  *assumes a threatening stance towards Prem, attempts to hide an involuntary grimace of pain inspired by his injured shoulder, and addresses his presumed foe* On your guard, sir!  You will answer for the theft of The Eyebrow's record collection, and then you will pay for the repeated harrassment of the Phantasmal Avatar League of Superheroes...or, as we are now known, The "Phantsmal Avatar Leage of Superheroes." *A slight look of dismay passes across the Bunburyist's visage, but it is quickly replaced by a challenging stare and a defiant grin, both of which appear to require so much of his attention that TPB seems perfectly capable of ignoring Lane's urgent attempts to get his attention.*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

OOG: I will not have access to the Internet for at least the next two days due to my family's move.  I apologise, in advance, for my absence.  Just promise me that SPAM will not RP Lane in some embarrassing fashion. :P

[Sword]

(Just ooc: By trenching, I don't mean making ice trenches, but actually using the cannon to cut canals in the volcano to siphon off the extra lava to elsewhere.)

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

:eyebrow:  :angry: { This swine has decimated my record collection and I swear by the All Seeing Eye that he will pay! 

* A canny look spreads across the Phantom's features, reflecting the thought process crossing his mind *

:eyebrow:  { Perhaps I can take a leaf out of my late-lamented Uriah Heep album collection's books?  The Magician's Birthday tells us the tale of a man who turns the every attack of his foe against them into peaceful hamrlessness.  Perhaps we should not fight the Noselip; instead we should divert his own power and attacks and channel them into good?

* A pause now as he reconsiders the wisdom of this course *

:eyebrow: { Or perhaps the truth of how to deal with this menace is hidden in another song?

* Frantically runs his mind through the Heep's back-catalogue *

[Deaths Jester]

*the zombie returns with a bottle of vodka for DJ*

"AH...very good, mon ami.  Now let's see what's going on 'ere."

*looks about at the carnage before him*

"Hmmmm....seems nobody has noticed me standing 'ere.  Hmmm...I wonder what would happen if I snuck up on that short guy over there that's been commanding all these bloody phantsmal doo-hickeys.  Ehhh...that's work...I'll think I'll just sit back and enjoy my vodka."

[Spam]

:spam: *grabs the ice cannon and points it prefferablly where Sword where like it be to pointed, but accidentally points it at his head, and pulls the trigger, like the idiot he is. He then proceeds to bonk his head on the nearest rock, so that way any icicles may fall off. Still with a little bit of a head cold, Spam finally proceeds to point the cannon at the correct place, and pull the trigger, hoping something will happen*

:spam: *looks over at Lane*

:spam: "Hey, Lane! Watch this!"

:spam: *stops shooting the ice cannon at the spot, and points at Lane's hat. He then proceeds to do just a quick shot at his head, hoping he will hit his hat. Afterwards, he proceeds to continue his shooting of the place where he was shooting at*

:spam: "Hope you like your present! You looked hot!"

[Sword]

:sword Spam, stop goofing off! 49, 50! I win, Wade!
:deadpool: Name the place, after we smack the ghosts. One sec... *bodyslides out* *bodyslides in* Check it, special present from Nate: a Time Gun. It'll super slow the lava!

[Spam]

:spam: "Stop doing what?"

:spam: *accidentally turns towards Sword while still shooting the ice cannon*

[Sword]

*teleports to spam and takes his weapon*
:sword Spam, You get to dig the trenches in the volcano. Give me the cannon, you'll get it back at the end of the school year. DJ! Have one of your undead slaves use this cannon.

[Spam]

:spam: "But... I don't go to school anymore. I thought I graduated from College... Oh well."

:spam: *digs like he never has before*

[Premonitioner]

*meanwhile, back inside. Prem stares oddly at Ow_tiobe before pushing him aside, and conveniently saving him for a massive rock heading towards his head*

:prem: Look, I don't know what your problem is and I really don't care, but if you failed to notice, TPE is fighting TPN and we don't need trouble from some dude wearing purple...and---

*prem lifts TPB and Lane (Is he with us...or is he super fast...or has a...CLONE?!) and moves them behind a rock to avoid another boulder heading their way.*

:prem: no matter how classy a villain you may be, I won't tolerate your nonsense at this moment! So either help out, take a number, or run the eff away, dannit!

*prem flies forcefully towards TPN and tackles him to the ground. TPN twitches his nose and prem is sent hurling towards the volcano's opening leaving TPE and TPN to fend for themselves for awhile.*

:noselip: Now...YOU WILL ALL DIE!

*noselip reaches into his cloak and produces a set of spectral bombs.*

:noselip: Tis will disable bot of our spectral powers, you swine! I will make you pay!

*TPN tosses the bombs near TPE's feet and waits. Meanwhile, lava flow begins to substantially increase outside and the flames are becoming almost unbearable...and a faint smell of cooked meat enters the air...possibly drawing attention from wild animals.*