PALS: Phantsmal Avatar Leage of Superheroes

[ow_tiobe_sb]

RP Note: IIRC, TPB has not officially encountered Prem since that stolen Uriah Heep record collection debacle at the mansion some time ago.  At that time, Prem seemed to be a menace to PALS, and 'tis the last impression that TPB had of the fellow.

:| { *Finally managing to get his employer's attention, Lane enlightens the dandy once again.* Sir, Mr. Premonitioner is correct and his intentions are good.  The peril of our current situation is immeasurably great, and we should put aside past offenses for the moment to eliminate the threat of the mysterious Phantom Noselip and his minions.  Otherwise, all may be lost.

  :unsure: { *Considering his options for a moment, the Bunburyist reaches a conclusion.* Yes, I can occasionally see the fine fibre of Reason, Lane, though I would detest spying it draped across my person in the glass.  Grand! Grand!  We shall yoke our strengths together to save the Eyebrow and ourselves from death or a fate worse than death, which could only be the forced reading of American novels, also known as American dry goods.

:| { An excellent course of action, sir.  Might I draw your attention to those bombs below?

  :) { Aye, Lane, I see them! *TPB raises his cane and takes aim at the bombs below, focusing a greenish energy blast at the bit of turf directly in front of where the bombs lay...*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Deaths Jester]

*teleports to spam and takes his weapon*
:sword Spam, You get to dig the trenches in the volcano. Give me the cannon, you'll get it back at the end of the school year. DJ! Have one of your undead slaves use this cannon.

*DJ looks up from his bottle of vodka*

DJ: "Whu?!?!?  Oh...okay.  Hey, zombie slave, do what Sword says...okay?"

Zombie:  "Yes master"

DJ"  "Ah..now back to me vodka...seeing as the vagrants seem to be ignoring me at the moment."

[kkhohoho]

RP Note: IIRC, TPB has not officially encountered Prem since that stolen Uriah Heep record collection debacle at the mansion some time ago.  At that time, Prem seemed to be a menace to PALS, and 'tis the last impression that TPB had of the fellow.

:| { *Finally managing to get his employer's attention, Lane enlightens the dandy once again.* Sir, Mr. Premonitioner is correct and his intentions are good.  The peril of our current situation is immeasurably great, and we should put aside past offenses for the moment to eliminate the threat of the mysterious Phantom Noselip and his minions.  Otherwise, all may be lost.

  :unsure: { *Considering his options for a moment, the Bunburyist reaches a conclusion.* Yes, I can occasionally see the fine fibre of Reason, Lane, though I would detest spying it draped across my person in the glass.  Grand! Grand!  We shall yoke our strengths together to save the Eyebrow and ourselves from death or a fate worse than death, which could only be the forced reading of American novels, also known as American dry goods.

:| { An excellent course of action, sir.  Might I draw your attention to those bombs below?

  :) { Aye, Lane, I see them! *TPB raises his cane and takes aim at the bombs below, focusing a greenish energy blast at the bit of turf directly in front of where the bombs lay...*

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

*Our favorite good and evil Santa awakens after being knocked unconsoius by a zombie, and notices several bombs, with a hole in front of them.  Noticing green smoke caused by either a certain purple-clad dandy or by completely unknown forces, he thinks that the ground in front of the bombs must have been destroyed somehow. Seeing as how bombs are not exactly a welcome wagon, he prcoeeds to throw them into the newly forged pit one by one.

:santa:  Just how many of these things are there?!

[Premonitioner]

*prem rushes back into the volcano and notices kkhoho tossing dirt, obviously illusional to the fact there were only 2 bombs. A quick thought passes prem's mind as he wonders when KKHo got there, but he puts the thought aside and lays an energy bolt smack down on TPN. TPN smiles and shoots a laser blast from his nose towards the flying hero. Prem quickly dodges and uses his telekinetic powers to toss a boulder where TPN was standing.*

:prem: Gang, we don't have much time here. The Volcano is burning red hot and the zombies are becoming restless. Not to mention the phantom look-a-likes are gathering at the volcano's opening...TPE, I think he's about to summon someone...or he's plotting to steal your powers once and for all.

*TPN floats through the boulder and smiles. He tosses a small grenade just beside KKHo's feet that will explode in 1-3 seconds*

noselip: Try as you will, santa, but that bomb will be the end of you! TPE, you cur, your time is nigh!

*the noselip twitches his nose and another laser blasts shoots out towards TPE.*

noselip: That blast will even hurt you, punk!

*meanwhile, outside, night falls and the danger becomes even more dangerous, if you will. The untamed Zombies, easily defeated by a confused Deadpool and Sword, grow slightly stronger and gain a new more horrible appearance. An appearance that somewhat resembles Death Jester...in fact, they look so much like Death jester that it may be hard to figure out who the real one is!*

:ph34r: That bag-a-bonessssss was actually helpful!

*noselip's underling then teleports in front of DJ, grabs his liquor, and tosses it down the volcano before rushing into a crowd of DJ look alikes.*

:ph34r: Catch me if you dare, foul fool!

[ow_tiobe_sb]

  :o { *Leaping toward kkhohoho and the bomb, TPB performs a safe but almost fatal dive, arms extended, producing a dome of protective greenish force from his cane as he falls* Steady on, Mr. hohoho!  This may hurt a tad.  *TPB and his force shield plow directly into the bomb as it detonates.  A split second before detonation, kkhohoho took the edge of the shield on the chin, the full impact of which caused him to fall backward into a particularly non-soft pillow of obsidian rubble.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Sword]

:sword DJ lookalikes. Wade, get me a solar lamp and a bottle of vodka.
:deadpool: Now's no time for a nightcap.
:sword Get a bottle now. Only one of these is the real DJ. And that one will be the kind who remains the same in sunlight and swigs the whole bottle of vodka.
:deadpool: Ok solar lamp, check. Vodka, Check. Digits from some of the local ladies... wow, you can get everything in Paris.
:sword*over commlink* Sword to all Phantasmal Avatars, regroup outside the volcano.

[kkhohoho]

  :o { *Leaping toward kkhohoho and the bomb, TPB performs a safe but almost fatal dive, arms extended, producing a dome of protective greenish force from his cane as he falls* Steady on, Mr. hohoho!  This may hurt a tad.  *TPB and his force shield plow directly into the bomb as it detonates.  A split second before detonation, kkhohoho took the edge of the shield on the chin, the full impact of which caused him to fall backward into a particularly non-soft pillow of obsidian rubble.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

*Kkhohoho then realizes that only 2 of the bombs he carried were bombs, while the rest of the bombs were just clumps of dirt.  He then feels that his back is somewhat strange, and in pain.   He gets up, and then notices pile of rather safe but almost fatal rubble behind him.  He then hears a rather urgent message from Sword, and proceeds to make his way to the funnel of lava, but not before he asks TPB a personal question.*

:santa: Thanks for saving me, Bunburyist.  However, you hurt my back, and I think it may even be bleeding, so can you please laugh a bit?  I know that this probally isn't the right place to laugh, seeing as how we could very well die any second, but I really do apreciate the "healing power of laughter", so could you just please chuckle like you're watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail? ^_^

[Deaths Jester]

*meanwhile, outside, night falls and the danger becomes even more dangerous, if you will. The untamed Zombies, easily defeated by a confused Deadpool and Sword, grow slightly stronger and gain a new more horrible appearance. An appearance that somewhat resembles Death Jester...in fact, they look so much like Death jester that it may be hard to figure out who the real one is!*

:ph34r: That bag-a-bonessssss was actually helpful!

*noselip's underling then teleports in front of DJ, grabs his liquor, and tosses it down the volcano before rushing into a crowd of DJ look alikes.*

:ph34r: Catch me if you dare, foul fool!

MY VODKA!?!?!?  How dare ye throw me vodka in the volcano and then summon up a hoard that looks exactly like me!  Ohhhhh....I'm gonna get ye for that!!!

*Starts to chase after the evil man who tossed his vodka into the volcano*

:sword DJ lookalikes. Wade, get me a solar lamp and a bottle of vodka.
:deadpool: Now's no time for a nightcap.
:sword Get a bottle now. Only one of these is the real DJ. And that one will be the kind who remains the same in sunlight and swigs the whole bottle of vodka.
:deadpool: Ok solar lamp, check. Vodka, Check. Digits from some of the local ladies... wow, you can get everything in Paris.
:sword*over commlink* Sword to all Phantasmal Avatars, regroup outside the volcano.

*the smell of a bottle of vodka wafts into the remains of DJ's nose*

"Ohh...me smell vodka!!!  But me must destroy evil guy who threw vodka in volcano!  Rrrr....vodka or avenge original vodka....so hard to decide....but must...somehow...decide......ARRR!!!!"

*DJ, the real one, falls to the ground under the momentous mental strain of deciding which action to take.*

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

:eyebrow: { A well-oiled fighting machine eh?  (Some of the others like a drink now and then too)

[Sword]

:sword All right Wade. Bodyslide in and grab the one who just fell to his knees.
:deadpool: Got him.
DJ: Vodka or Chase...
:sword How about both? *hands DJs the vodka and applies a tracking/teleport tag.* now you can have your vodak, and kick his butt too. Go to it, DJ.

[Premonitioner]

*an irritated sigh is heard all around and the zombies just pack up and head back into the volcano. Noselip's underling growls under his breath and whispers a swear or two before publicly stating that Death Jester will be destroyed in due time. Seconds later, he disappears in a puff of nauseous fumes. Meanwhile, in the volcano...*

:prem: KKHO, I know you'd like a laugh right now, but we really don't have the time!

*prem encloses everyone in a shield and teleports them safely out of the volcano...well...some of you may fall a few feet to the ground...my bad.*

:prem: Look, we really don't have time to stand around...they're summoning something up there and this volcano looks like it'll explode!

noselip: I WILL DESTROY YOU EYEBROW, YOU TRAITOR! YOU CLONE! YOU UMAN LOVER!

*the volcano erupts and the team must find a way to get to safety.*

[kkhohoho]

*an irritated sigh is heard all around and the zombies just pack up and head back into the volcano. Noselip's underling growls under his breath and whispers a swear or two before publicly stating that Death Jester will be destroyed in due time. Seconds later, he disappears in a puff of nauseous fumes. Meanwhile, in the volcano...*

:prem: KKHO, I know you'd like a laugh right now, but we really don't have the time!

*prem encloses everyone in a shield and teleports them safely out of the volcano...well...some of you may fall a few feet to the ground...my bad.*

:prem: Look, we really don't have time to stand around...they're summoning something up there and this volcano looks like it'll explode!

noselip: I WILL DESTROY YOU EYEBROW, YOU TRAITOR! YOU CLONE! YOU UMAN LOVER!

*the volcano erupts and the team must find a way to get to safety.*

:santa: Lava?!  Time to run!

*As Kkhohoho tries to find a way to escape, he thinks of an eariler time of peace.  Or at least not as voilent.*

*Flashback* :santa: So, do you care to laugh Mr.Tiobe?  I'd really like it.  Oh, and do you know how DJ's butt kicking went?  I hope a volcano didn't just stop it from happening. *Flashback Ends.*

*In the present, as the lava flows downwards, Kkhohoho thinks to himself:*

:santa: (The world may never know...)

[Sword]

:sword Is everyone here? *does a quick headcount* OK. Drop anything extra you might be carrying. Spam that means the zombie skull you found. I know it's cool, but you'll have plenty of time to add to your ravening undead collection later. I'm going to try to get out us out here. Prem, add your teleportation to mine. Let's aim for the Netherlands. Lane, activate your power enhancer kit now, please.
:deadpool: I've got the Bodyslide machine ready so that's three teleporters for all of us.
:sword On my signal activate and get ready for teleportation. 3, 2, 1! Teleport!
*Those who can teleport focus while Lane attempts to amplify the power. In moments, as the lava pours down, the teleportation kicks in*
*With lava rushing down the mountainside, the three headed hellhound guarding Paris steps between the mountain and the city to intercept the lava.*

---
3 minutes later, the heroes fall into a wheat field. Tiobe and Lane land on their feet, while Spam and KKhohoho hover. Deadpool and DJ wind up sprawled over each other and sword is above them. thirty feet above them. Prem lands safely about fifteen feet from the rest of the group.
:sword Everyone ok?
:deadpool: *does a quick mental check to see if he still thinks in little yellow boxes* I'm good. Where are you man?
:sword Look up. We most certainly missed the Netherlands.
The collected heroes look up, at a castle that floats five feet above the ground. It's a norse style structure. that stretches three miles in either direction.

Thor: Ha ha ha ha! Hail and Well-met, heroes. Welcome to Asgard... Asgard, Oklahoma! Where do you come from?
:deadpool: Heya Thor! We came from Paris. A big volcano was erupting.
Thor: A volcano you say? Feel free to partake of the feasts of Asgard. I go to put a halt to the lava. *thor flies off in a stormcloud*
Spam: So how do we get up there?
:sword There's a ladder about ten feet to your right.

[Deaths Jester]

3 minutes later, the heroes fall into a wheat field. Tiobe and Lane land on their feet, while Spam and KKhohoho hover. Deadpool and DJ wind up sprawled over each other and sword is above them. thirty feet above them. Prem lands safely about fifteen feet from the rest of the group.
:sword Everyone ok?
:deadpool: *does a quick mental check to see if he still thinks in little yellow boxes* I'm good. Where are you man?
:sword Look up. We most certainly missed the Netherlands.
The collected heroes look up, at a castle that floats five feet above the ground. It's a norse style structure. that stretches three miles in either direction.

Thor: Ha ha ha ha! Hail and Well-met, heroes. Welcome to Asgard... Asgard, Oklahoma! Where do you come from?
:deadpool: Heya Thor! We came from Paris. A big volcano was erupting.
Thor: A volcano you say? Feel free to partake of the feasts of Asgard. I go to put a halt to the lava. *thor flies off in a stormcloud*
Spam: So how do we get up there?
:sword There's a ladder about ten feet to your right.

*proceeds to barf on Wade*

Urghhh...I hate teleporting...always...make...me lose...me vodka....

*vomits a few more pieces of his stomach up and then rights himself*

Now...lets see 'ere.  Vodka, check.....tracking locator for evil guy, check.....remeberance of Noselip's underling's curse of DJ's end, check.....hmmm...I'm all 'ere...I think...

*notices he is still missing his left arm*

Oh bloody 'ell...how could've forgotten that bloody thing...wwell, it looks like I'll jsut have to find another replacement....somewhere....*eyes Spammy's left arm possesivly*

[kkhohoho]

*After traveling through what looked like a tunnel of oblivion and monkeys, Kkhohoho finds himself hovering above the ground.  It's rather strange, since our favorite evil elf can't fly, let alone hover.  He then promplty falls to the ground, causing a rather noticble hole, not because of the height since it isn't very big, but because of the strange outline.  After getting up, he notices a ladder leading up to a castle in the sky.*

:santa: I know where we are!  We're beneath the Giant's castle!  The beanstalk seems to be missing though.
Ah well.  *The plump fiend uses his jumping abilities to leap into the air, but, seeing as how he jumped straight up, he only barely grabs onto the edge of the floating mass, and struggles to get up.  After 1 minute of slowly inching along, he makes it inside the castle, though he is still near the edge.  He's lying on on the entrance way actually, huffing and puffing.  Not a pretty sight.*

:santa: WHY...ARE...GIANT...CASTLES...SO...HARD...TO...CLIMB?!!

[Premonitioner]

*prem floats towards tpe with a slight annoyed look on his face*

:prem: TPE, I'm going back to keep track of TPN. I doubt this will be his last attempt at destroying you...also, I'm not going to wonder how we passed the Netherlands and ended up here...even with augmented powers.

*prem checks his satchel and hands TPE an uriah heep cd*

:prem: it's the only thing I could save...soory. Now, since I apparently wasted all my magic energy by teleporting, I'm gonna fly off now.

*prem leaves without saying a word to anyone else. Before he disappears, he tosses an arm like shaped thing at DJ with a note attached.*

Dear DJ,

this is an extra arm from some random zombie. I'll see if I can find your arm...also, it's highly flammable so stay away from fire.

[Deaths Jester]

*prem leaves without saying a word to anyone else. Before he disappears, he tosses an arm like shaped thing at DJ with a note attached.*

Dear DJ,

this is an extra arm from some random zombie. I'll see if I can find your arm...also, it's highly flammable so stay away from fire.

Ohhh....a new arm...for me?!?!?!  Ohhh Prem, I didn't know ye cared.  *produces a roll of duct tape and commences to attach the arm to his stump*

Ahhh...it's just like my old one...so wonderful feeling.

[Alaric]

(The Verdant Vowel, who has been standing lost in thought for some time now, suddenly springs into action- vocally, at least...)

A I appologize, fellow heroic defenders of goodness. I was- thinking about something else, and so great were my mighty imaginings that I was completely oblivious to what's been going on! Quick- someone toss me a recap!

(looks around for a moment)

A Wait... Are The Phantom Eyebrow and the Phantom Bunburyist in the same thread that now houses my own vowelish presense? That can't be good... Surely, the close proximity of so much sheer verbosity will cause cosmic stresses of umimaginable intensity...

[ow_tiobe_sb]

:) { *Dusting himself off from his stint as a (meta)human bomb shield, the Bunburyist smiles and addresses his emerald acquaintance* Mr. Alaric!  Well met, comrade! *shakes hands with Alaric* When last I laid eyes on you and your fine greenery, you were many and I was but one attempting to avert a crisis of infinite nonsense.  In these past few seconds--these happy, happy few fleeting moments in which we were happily reunited--I have given your concerns some thought--not thought of any depth, for depth models are misleading when the stuff of thought is both symbol and surface at once--and I am bound to say that, most things considered (whilst others remain half-thawed on the gray matter grill), if the damage done to language by Master Spam and Mr. hohoho thus far has not caused a cataclysmic verbal violence to rend the very fibre of reality, I can only imagine with great difficulty precisely how the combined prolixity of the Eyebrow, the Vowel, and the Bunburyist might adversely tilt the galaxy in Chaos' favour.

:unsure: { *ponders*

^_^ { I honestly have no idea why we should be alarmed.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[Spam]

:spam: "*sniff* I miss my zombie skull... I was gonna name it Collectable #436, but then I had to drop it... *goes over to Lane to cry on his shoulder*"

[Sword]

:sword Everybody up? Good. The dining hall is down the long marble corridor eighth door on the right.
*The heroes sit down for a meal fit for the Aesir.*
:deadpool: Heya DJ, don't drink the booze.
DJ: Izzit poisoned?
:deadpool: naw its Asgardian mead. It heals the wounded body. I don't know what it would do to an undead body.
:sword Most likely it would give him a good solid drunk that will last eight months. *eats some Auroch meat*
:spam: Wow this is good stuff. FORIAMHUNGRY!
:santa: Well what now?
:eyebrow: Now we consume this delectable feast provided by the Odinson.
:santa: Well yeah, but what after that?
:deadpool: I dunno. Who wants to play "Beat the Wrecking Crew Senseless?"
:sword: Nah. I'll probably head back to CRUSH castle, if it's still standing.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

:eyebrow: { Well now but isn't this a happy turn of events?  The threat of my nasal nemesis has been quelled for the nonce and the assembled numbers of the Phantasmal Avatar League of Superheroes find themselves gathered at a fine banquet in a plot denoument that simply cries out for a snappy punchline and a freeze frame still as we cut to credits.  However, the Phantasmal Avatar League of Superheroes generally don't do snappy...

* Pausing a brief moment in his customary grand-standing fashion, the Eyebrow scans the scene in more detail and overhears the concerns expressed by the Verdant Vowel re the prospective threat to the universe (itself) by the presence of so much concentrated loquacity in such a small area.  He turns to address the vowelish one in his most reassuring and avuncular manner *

:eyebrow: { I have weighed your words well my fellow defender of freedom, but I think I side with the Bunburyist in his estimation that there is no reason to be alarmed at such a prospect.  The Bunburyist and I have managed to coexist in this thread to date without unravelling the fabric of existence.  And if anything, I suspect that your own presence here is a safeguard against harm rather than a catalyst to disaster; for your vowelish essence is surely complimentary to the cosmological consonant that underpins the universe itself.

[Deaths Jester]

:sword Everybody up? Good. The dining hall is down the long marble corridor eighth door on the right.
*The heroes sit down for a meal fit for the Aesir.*
:deadpool: Heya DJ, don't drink the booze.
DJ: Izzit poisoned?
:deadpool: naw its Asgardian mead. It heals the wounded body. I don't know what it would do to an undead body.
:sword Most likely it would give him a good solid drunk that will last eight months. *eats some Auroch meat*

"Bah...nothing can keep me drunk for more than a few danty hours...and who says I shouldn't drink the booze 'ere...I will never not attack booze when I see it!!"  *commences to down the closest chalice of Asgardian mead* 

"Hmmm...not exactly up to my normal fair of drink but it still is moderatly okay...though the after taste is a bit to fruity."

*notices his left arm, which had been happily came from the gracious Prem after he had lost the old one somewhere but that's a whole nother story, has lost it's flammability defects*

"Ach...what joyous day...now I can stick this arm in fire with out worrying!!  YEAH!!!"

[Sword]

Thor returns as Sword and Deadpool head out.
:deadpool: Seriously. Seventh smartest guy in the world. Amadeus Cho. Here's his number.
:sword I gotta say, Amadeus Cho is one of those names you only expect of a pulp hero.
:deadpool: Remember you won the contest, so...
Thor: My friends, the disaster is averted. Take the Celestial Taxi to your destinations.
:sword Celestial taxi? It's a chariot with...
:deadpool: Double Hemi!
:sword Two rams.
Thor: I assure you, they can go wherever you wish. The only ones that move faster are Santa's Reindeer.
:sword Pay up. You said...
:deadpool: I know. Here's 50.
Thor: What of your friends?
:sword They'll be staying awhile longer but I have business.
:deadpool: Yeah same. Something about general mayhem and panic.
Thor: Go with the blessings of the gods. And if you see anything about my fellows.
:deadpool: We'll let you know. How hard can it be to find a norse sumo in a pink unitard? Bye Thor!

[Spam]

:spam: *twiddles thumbs* "So... anybody listen to that new Young Cheesy CD? Not bad..."

FORIAMSPAM!

[BatWing]

*chucks a smoke grenade into pals head quarters*
*begins shooting at them from far away*

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* The Eyebrow's brows furrow in fearful contemplation *

:eyebrow: { B'cripes!  Twould appear that while we sit here feasting at the tables of Valhalla, someone is taking pot-shots at our defenceless mansion!  The Eye of Truth informs me that the windows, doors and conretely frontages of the base are being riddled with bullets.  Riddled I tells ya!  I don't know about the rest of you but I'm not having it!

* Draws himself to his full height, swirls his cape about himself magestically and prepares to teleport back to the base to confront this craven churmugeon *

[kkhohoho]

* The Eyebrow's brows furrow in fearful contemplation *

:eyebrow: { B'cripes!  Twould appear that while we sit here feasting at the tables of Valhalla, someone is taking pot-shots at our defenceless mansion!  The Eye of Truth informs me that the windows, doors and conretely frontages of the base are being riddled with bullets.  Riddled I tells ya!  I don't know about the rest of you but I'm not having it!

* Draws himself to his full height, swirls his cape about himself majestically and prepares to teleport back to the base to confront this craven churmugeon *

:santa: I agree.  *Picks up a long piece of metal and holds it into the air.* Avatars,  HOOOOOOOO!!!  ......On second thought, that's a rather cheesy line.  Ah well.  *Proceeds to make multiple giant jumps towards PALS's base, then stops for a burger, and then proceeds with multiple big leaps once more towards PALS's mansion.*

[BatWing]

take that pals!!!!!
ahaahaha
*keeps on shooting at pals headquarters*

[Sword]

A celestial chariot descends upon PALS headquarters, allowing sword and deadpool to disembark behind Raijin.
A bouncing laugh of santa claus appears soon after, landing right in the spot previously vacated by the rams.
:sword Wade, flank left. Hohoho flank right. We'll get this guy.