What would you......

[Burnout]

Ok I have a little deliema anyways here it is my GF is pregnant its not mine,it happen alittle bit before we started dating anyways and like she decide to tell me last night cause she was scared I was going to walk away. Well right now im still in shock and still dont know what to do.Anyone have any advice?

[Reepicheep]

Oh, dear...

Well, its not totally easy to get the baby out again, so if you want my advice (although, I can't say I'm exactly experienced in this) you're just gonna have to suck it up and do all you can to support her.

But this really isn't a nice place to be in, I wager. Really sorry to hear that. You'll have my support.

[Uncle Yuan]

Since this fact was not self evident to you it's obvious that you too have not been going out for more than a couple of months.  This is kind of a big deal and something you need to give some serious thought to.  It's one thing to knowingly date a parent, it's another thing entirely to have a child you had no hand in creating enter a new relationship.

In the the immediate term you need to consider her fears of rejection, physical and emotional needs of impending motherhood and her feelings for you with yours towards her.  Are they strong enough (at least potentially) to also encompass a child?  If not, you may be doing her a long-term favor by cutting the ties.  To lead her to feel that you can provide something that ultimately you can not would be the greater sin, I believe.

In the longer term you need to consider how you feel about being a parent, and being a parent to a child that is not yours.  Now, I don't personally feel that genetics should have any bearing on loving and caring for a child, but I do acknowledge that this issue is more complicated for some.  But if you're 17 and honestly not ready to assume this responsiblity, or in any other way adverse to being a father, (edit - or being shipped to a battle zone . . . ) the honorable thing to do would be to be honest with her and yourself and step back now.

In any case, what would be very low is to stay in there and wind up resenting the child or it's mother for your situation.  Or stay in there, let this child regard your its father and then leave it completely behind if you break up with the mother.   If you're going to stay in, you need to be committed to staying in wholeheartedly.  And this may not necessarily mean you guys stay together forever.  But I do think if you agree to take on a role of parent to this child, you need to be committed to maintaining this role regardless of what occurs between you and the mother.

It's a huge issue, no doubt.  Particularly to be grappling with in a young relationship.  If you think this woman is someone you could build a life with and if you think you can take joy in this child, then I encourage you to do so.  Otherwise, your choice is to bite the bullet and leave now.

[Lunarman]

nicely put Uncle, as always :)

I agree with you

[UnfluffyBunny]

wait... this... AND your going to Iraq within a week??? man too much drama! @_@

what would I do? i'd blame Sven... then poke him with a large pointy stick! :thumbup:

[Burnout]

yes i know i get all this drama right before i leave lol

[konbiz]

I think, ironic as it seems, you going to Iraq will be a blessing for this predicament. You will be alone, and you will have ample time to think about the situation and see how you really feel about her. Now we can all give you advice, but ultimately it is your decision, but if you want my advice don't try and be a hero, try to be you, be honest to yourself and be honest to her.