Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[Spam]

I guess I'll just keep on running down hallways until I find my way back to everyone else.

[BlueBard]

Spam-R, you are in the transtube headed for DTH sector.

Everyone else,

(I am assuming from previous posts that the PMB is on, but no music has been selected as of yet.)

Shoot-O glares at Spyd-R, gritting his teeth.  "Of course.  There is always time for a patriotic anthem in honor of the Computer, isn't there?  Gosh, that couldn't possibly waste our limited time, now could it?  Do continue, Troubleshooter.  Make it good."

[BlueBard]

Spam-R, you are in the transtube headed for DTH sector.

Everyone else,

(I am assuming from previous posts that the PMB is on, but no music has been selected as of yet.)

Shoot-O glares at Spyd-R, gritting his teeth.  "Of course.  There is always time for a patriotic anthem in honor of the Computer, isn't there?  Gosh, that couldn't possibly waste our limited time, now could it?  Do continue, Troubleshooter.  Make it good."

"WELL???"

Shoot-O is awaiting Spyd-R's response... and none too patiently, either.  His hands are hovering near his holstered weapons.  Watch-Y has a look of malicious glee on his face.

[gdaybloke]

[OOC: To the tune of "And the band played Walltzing Matilda"]

"When I was a young man I carried a mop
And I cleaned up the complex's corridors
Such was my 'puter-designated lot
A black uniformed infrared dork

Then in one glorious moment the light finally shone
I was handed an upgrade, no longer a drone
No reflec, but now I can defend my home
As a red clearance troubleshooter clone

And the computer tends to all my needs
And I serve with some valiant troops
Shoot-O sends us forth
With good training of course
To smite traitors, commies, and mutes."

Spyd smiles nervously at Shoot-O.

"Another verse, Shoot-O? Or would you prefer I save it for later, so that I can perfect it to properly showcase the glory of the computer?"

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* Numb suddenly feels a strange hankering for barbequed shrimps and bottle of VB.  And he doesn't even know what they are! *

[BlueBard]

Shoot-O stares at Spyd-R a moment.

"Um, yeah.  Good song.  That's good for now.  You can do the next verse later."

Watch-Y's curiously evil grin falls into an inexplicable grimace of disappointment.  You're not quite sure why, but you get the feeling that he was hoping Spyd-R would get shot.

"Okay, then, we're out of here," Shoot-O declares.  "You recruits need toughened up, and I'm the guy to do it!  I've got a gym reserved..."

"I am afraid not," Watch-Y interrupts with a smug look on his face.  "Ze gym vas needed for a Happiness Enforcement Rally.  I haff made ozzer arrangements."  He hands Shoot-O a piece of paper.

Shoot-O reads the paper, his face getting redder and redder as he does.  He crumples the paper and shoves it into a pocket of his jumpsuit.

"O-Kay.  Recruits, as Troubleshooters you need to learn to adapt to changing situations.  So, we make the best of it."

Just then, Spam-R shows up.

"Just in time, Recruit!  Everybody to Stairwell DTH-M4RCH, on the double!  GO! GO! GO!"

The group scrambles to gather up their things, Spam-R hastily looting his predecessor's body, then you take off at a run.

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]You're having trouble with the actuators in the exoskeleton's right arm.  It is extremely difficult to lift that arm and it's throwing off your stride.  One look at Shoot-O suggests now is not the time to stop and fix it.[/spoiler]

[gdaybloke]

(*gathers up things, takes off at a run - has no idea where he's going, so follows whoever the first person out the door is*)

[Viking]

ArrMatee probably ends up bringing up the rear, given that the exoskeleton is as slow-moving as it is.

[BlueBard]

"GO! GO! GO! OUT! OUT!" Shoot-O screams.

[Viking]

ArrMatee trundles along as fast as he can in the exoskeleton, straining to move the defective right arm.

"MOVING DOUBLE-TIME, SHOOT-O!" he heartily calls out.

Meanwhile, he frees his left hand from the exoskeleton.  Since Shoot-O-LOT's red complexion suggests strongly against requesting additional time to repair the exoskeleton, it's clearly necessary to make time by performing repairs while on the go.  It's not his best hand, but since his best hand is still numb from the docbot's treatment...

"Adapting to changing situations!" he sings out cheerily, in a bad approximation of Spyd's previous anthem.  "Sucking it up and making the best of it!"

[Spam]

I hastily make my way with the pack, hoping not to get lost... I'll try and secure everything I swiped from my former body, but will also try and keep up a steady pace so I won't get lost, and or away from the rest of the group.

[BlueBard]

For the sake of moving things along...

Spam-R is first out the door, followed closely by Blo-R, who is in turn followed by Spyd-R, then Numb-R.  Shoot-O and Watch-Y follow them out and ArrMatee-R brings up the rear.

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]Unfortunately, you don't have sufficient time to fix the exoskeleton.  You are able to determine that two of the actuators are jammed, but you'll need a couple of minutes with some real tools to fix it.[/spoiler]

The group soon finds themselves at the bottom of a steep stairwell.  Looking up, you see there are three landings above.  The stairs are narrow; you could go two abreast but it would be a tight squeeze.  Except for ArrMatee, wearing the exoskeleton; He would take up the entire breadth of the stairs.

"All right, recruits, here's the drill," scowls Shoot-O.  "You go up the stairs, then back down.  You go up three times and wind up right back here.  And no dawdling!  I'm gonna meet you at the top and follow you back down, so no funny stuff!  Watch-Y-BAK will be right up at the top observing."

Shoot-O pauses.

"WELL? YOU WAITING FOR AN ENGRAVED INVITATION?  MOVE!!!"

GM: Y'all will have to sort out for yourselves what the marching order is...

[Viking]

ArrMatee makes the following observation to his fellow Troubleshooters:

"Arr!  I should prob'ly be th' last one t' go up these stairs.  That way, if I slip 'n fall, I won't go crashin' into th' lot of ye!"

If this fails to prompt the rest of the Troubleshooters to hop to it and start up the stairs first, however, ArrMatee will begin trundling up them, comforted by the knowledge that the other Troubleshooters have volunteered to serve as a safety cushion.

GM:
[spoiler]Waste not, want not - I'm going to continue working on unjamming the actuators using my free, left hand.  Since I've got a tool belt with my tools, they shouldn't be too hard to reach.  I'm taking as much time as I need to fix it, while continuing to move.[/spoiler]

[Spam]

I just carefully observe if anybody is going to jump in first... I can't decide if I should go first, or if I should wait for somebody else... But why am I sweating bullets trying to make this decision? Ugh, now I'm getting a headache... everything... everyone's out to get me because I can't make this decision! Yes, that must be it! Because I'm not going first, everyone will force me to go first! I get it now...

"Well, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" I yell.

"I see all your little schemes, and tricks. And ya know what, I ain't going first. So what are you going to do about that, huh? HUH!?"

After saying that, I cross my arms, and wait for whoever bravely decides to go first...

[gdaybloke]

"For shame, Troubleshooter SPAM, where's your Computer Spirit? Let's see some enthusiasm! Come on, last one to the top has to help me test the volume limits on the PMB!"

Spyd starts up the stairs.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

"Well done Spyd.  Our group is served well by your selfless er... service"

* Numb leaves the brave troubleshooter to it as he attempts to obtain a nice central postion in the middle of the group. *

[gdaybloke]

"Hrm..." mutters Spyd as he works his way up the stairs...
"There once was a clone from this sector
Who determined a coefficient vector
This good loyal citizen
Kicked his crechemate's teeth in
When he said 'I'm a commie defector!'"

...
...

"No", mused Spyd. "That was crap."

[BlueBard]

Hokay, Spyd-R is making his way up the steps.  Who else is going ahead of ArrMatee-R?  Speak now or be squished later.

I absolutely MUST have the marching order before we can proceed.  I will leave it to your imaginations as to what dire purpose requires this.  I will allow 24 hours to respond; after that let the algae chips fall where they may.

To save a little time, you all might as well start thinking about marching order on the way down...

(Phantom Eyebrow has let me know that he will be out-of-touch for a little while.  Let the record show that Numb-R absolutely refuses to be number 2, even if it means falling in behind ArrMatee...)

[Panther_Gunn]

Blo-R will happily follow his fellow troubleshooter Spyd-R.  It helps keep Shoot-O happy, and gets him out of the line of fire about to fall on Spam-R.  :D

[BlueBard]

Numb-R scrambles to get in line behind Blo-R.  "Happy to be toughened up to serve The Computer!" he salutes Shoot-O as he falls into line and starts ascending the stairs.

[Spam]

I start to head towards the stairs, hoping nobody else will cut in front of me.... that way I've got a decent spot...

[BlueBard]

And that leaves ArrMatee to bring up the rear.

As you make your way up the stairs, you notice a couple of things...

First, the steps are narrow and steep.  The landings are similarly narrow.  Also, the stairwell is not well lit.  The lighting is high above you.

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]You have an additional complication; When you try to lift the leg of the exoskeleton to step up, you start to lose your balance.  The exoskeleton itself is top-heavy and unbalanced.  That big steam chamber on your back really makes it difficult.  You're going to need at least one arm working to steady yourself or you'll never make it up without a high risk of falling.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

GM: Looking for Viking's input on ArrMatee's predicament before I continue...

[Viking]

(OOG: Well, frak.  I had typed out a post, but apparently it didn't take.  Here we go again...)

From all descriptions, it sounds like the other Troubleshooters have gone scrambling up the stairs, while Watch-Y and Shoot-O have gone to the top via alternate means so as to meet us at the top.  That would leave ArrMatee alone at the bottom of the stairs, unsupervised.  Score!

[spoiler]ArrMatee will simply wait at the bottom of the stairs while he unjams the actuators.  Then he'll proceed up the stairs.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]Taking your time, you should have no difficulty unjamming the actuators in the right arm.[/spoiler]

Everyone else:
You make it up to the first landing with no serious difficulty.  By the time you hit the second landing, you're slowing down and starting to breathe hard.

Do you stop to rest, or keep pushing on?

[Panther_Gunn]

Blo will push on, and will cheerfuly encourage Spyd on, as well.  :D

[Viking]

Verifying that the exoskeleton is once more working properly, ArrMatee will insert both of his arms into their appropriate sleeves of the exo-suit, and proceed to carefully ascend the stairs.  He remains ready to brace himself just in case any of his fellow Troubleshooters lose their balance and start tumbling down the stairs.

[BlueBard]

Blo will push on, and will cheerfuly encourage Spyd on, as well.  :D

Ahem.  This is called a Role-Playing Game.  Please role-play your 'encouragement'.  (Do you threaten?  Do you use something sharp?  Do you BS him with patriotism?)

[Panther_Gunn]

Blo will push on, and will cheerfuly encourage Spyd on, as well.  :D

Ahem.  This is called a Role-Playing Game.  Please role-play your 'encouragement'.  (Do you threaten?  Do you use something sharp?  Do you BS him with patriotism?)

oog:  That's what happens when I try to just squeeze in a quick post.

ig:  As Blo continues up the stairs, he pep-talks the Happiness Officer:  "That's it, don't stop now, Citizen Spyd!  Stopping is for lesser clones.  And don't forget that Citizen Shoot-O is keeping a careful watch on us.  *I* sure wouldn't want to be on his bad side for stopping before he says stop.  Why, it wouldn't surprise me if he shot Citizen Spam's replacement clone at least once, just to relieve a little frustration.  But, of course, there's no pressure at all.  Just run & be happy!"  :D

[gdaybloke]

"Too right, Troubleshooter Blo! Crikey, she's a fair dinkum doozy of a climb!"

Spyd mentally yells at his knees to keep up the climb.