Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[Viking]

"Why don't you all see if you can find a box opener somewhere?" suggests ArrMatee in a spaced-out cheerfulness.  "Never know when a sharp object might come in handy!"

ArrMatee will also appropriate the rolling pin as a handy bashing instrument.  However, given the limited carrying ability that his team has, he'll forego trying to further loot the kitchen for supplies.  If a quick search doesn't turn up a box opener, then it's time to proceed to the Vat Room.

[BlueBard]

The team starts looking through boxes and drawers.

ArrMatee discovers a locked drawer in one corner of the kitchen.

[Viking]

Good thing ArrMatee has a crowbar, then!  He'll use it to pry open the locked drawer and see what's inside.

[BlueBard]

Good thing ArrMatee has a crowbar, then!  He'll use it to pry open the locked drawer and see what's inside.

The drawer opens with an audible crack.

Inside the drawer you see a box cutter, several pencils with the erasers chewed off, a notebook, a hammer, a screwdriver, a First Aid Kit, a box of matches, and several bottles filled with pills.  They are not any of the types of pills you're familiar with (IR-level).

The others are coming over to see what you found.

[Viking]

ArrMatee will appropriate the box cutter, hammer, and screwdriver, showing them to his fellow Troubleshooters in the spirit of cooperation.  Of course, the First Aid kit, matches, bottles with pills, and notebook with pencils look like they would be valuable materials for the team to bring along, too.

"We probably should supplement our Team Equipment with all of this stuff," he recommends to the team.

[BlueBard]

"Fine, no problem," Spyd-R agrees cheerfully.  "I'll take the First Aid kit, the pill bottles... and I might as well grab the notebook and pencils so I can keep a record of our exploits."

Spyd-R collects the things he mentioned and idly flips open the notebook.  "Hm.  It has writing in it already.  Oh well, there are some blank pages at the back anyway."  He closes the notebook.

"Shall we proceed with our mission?" he smiles brightly, gesturing toward the door to the Vat Room.

[Viking]

Since Spyd-R did not indicate that he was taking the matches, ArrMatee will stuff them into a pocket of his jumpsuit.

"Right you are, Team Leader!" he grins.  "On to death and glory for the Computer!"

[BlueBard]

You open the heavy metal door leading into the Vat Room.

An unpleasant aroma wafts out into the kitchen area from the large, warm, humid and very dark room.  Unprocessed vat slime doesn't smell pleasant even when it's being actively stirred in an air-conditioned facility... after sitting stagnant for several hours in a stuffy room it's nearly stomach turning.

The 'floor' of the Vat Room, what you can see of it anyway, is actually a series of metal catwalks suspended over the vats and machinery.  Presumably the actual floor is somewhere below, but in the dark you can't see bottom.  Vat slime glistens from a nearby vat.

You have lost your 'happy place'.  Were you undrugged, you'd be gibbering in unreasoning horror.  But you retain enough presence of mind to reassure yourself that nothing is going to reach out and grab you.  It's just vat slime.  It's just vat slime.  It's just vat slime.  It's just...

Did you just see something moving???

[Viking]

ArrMatee instinctively decides to put on the Electro-Gloves.  If something reaches out and grabs him, he'll be better off with a weapon that allows him to grab back and hurt something.

"Which way out, which way out, WHICH WAY OUT?" he gibbers in reasoning horror.

[BlueBard]

"We have to go IN before we can get OUT, Friend ArrMatee," Spyd-R points out.

"Yah," the toolbot agrees.  "Ve got to go through ze room."

You look in again, but see nothing.  With a quavering voice, you direct the PortaWall to move forward.  It enters the room.  The catwalk beneath it creaks ominously.

[Viking]

"I really don't like the look of those catwalks," moans ArrMatee.  "See how the... thingie... makes them creak like that?  They probably won't support much more weight!"

Sweat beads down his face as he looks to the Team Leader, pleadingly.  "We should at least make sure that the... uh... thingie can navigate the catwalks safely before the rest of us proceed!  We've got flashlights, and the thingie is voice-controlled.  That makes sense, r... er.. yes?"

[BlueBard]

As you speak, the PortaWall continues forward, not having been given the command to stop.  The wheels begin to slip as it unsuccessfully tries to gain traction on the slime covered catwalks, which groan more stridently in further protest.

[Viking]

"STOP!" calls out ArrMatee.  He realizes that having the Porta-Wall slip and causing the catwalks to collapse would be quite the bad thing.

Do the catwalks have railings to hold onto, in the event that a clone slips on vat slime while crossing them?

[BlueBard]

"STOP!" calls out ArrMatee.  He realizes that having the Porta-Wall slip and causing the catwalks to collapse would be quite the bad thing.

The PortaWall skids to a stop, dangerously near an edge of the catwalk.  The metal continues to groan and squeal in protest for a moment, then subsides.

Do the catwalks have railings to hold onto, in the event that a clone slips on vat slime while crossing them?

Don't be silly.  That would be added infrastructure expense.  Don't forget the unwritten rule in PLC: "Material is expensive, Life is cheap."

And if a clone should fall into a vat...?  Well... There'll be a little extra protein next mealcycle.

[Viking]

"That vat slime looks slippery," observes ArrMatee.  "Dangerously slippery.  Maybe we should make use of the large quantities of cleaning supplies in the previous room?"

[BlueBard]

"Excellent suggestion, ArrMatee!" cries Blo-R.  "Speaking as the Hygiene Officer, I think this is a job for that scrubbot out there!" he says brightly.

[BlueBard]

"Good thinking, Blo-R!" Spyd-R says encouragingly.  "Go commandeer it."

Blo-R soon returns with the scrubbot at laser-point, it's voxbox crackling with undisguised irritation.

"I have my own assignment already," it complains.  "You can't just haul me off to clean..."  Its' photoreceptors flash alarmingly as it peers into the Vat Room.

"Oh, my."

[Viking]

"Yes, scrubbot," says ArrMatee solemnly.  "In that Vat Room lies a true cleaning emergency.  One that only a scrubbot of your skills and tenacity can tackle.  We desperately need your assistance.  Which you can tell by how desperately our Hygiene Officer is holding his laser rifle."

[BlueBard]

"Someday I'm going to get a reflec upgrade," the scrubbot mutters.  It rolls out onto the catwalk.  The metal groans.  The scrubbot stops, skidding only a little.

"That doesn't sound safe," it says.

[BlueBard]

Here's a crude map of the vat room:

Code Select Expand


###############DD###############
#==============================#
#==     ==     ==     ==     ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#==============================#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#==     ==     ==     ==     ==#
#==============================#
#==     ==     ==     ==     ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#==============================#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV P= VVVV==VVVV ==#
#== VVVV==VVVV == VVVV==VVVV ==#
#==     ==     S=     ==     ==#
#==============================#
###############DD###############
            (Team Here)


Map Key:

#    -  Wall
DD  -  Door
==  -  Catwalk
VV  -  Vat (Below)

P    -  PortaWall
S    -  Scrubbot

Note that some of the catwalks are suspended directly over the huge vats.

[Viking]

"I would suggest cleaning a small portion of the catwalks, then, to start," says ArrMatee helpfully.  "For example, the portion leading to that square metallic object just inside.  Once that small section is cleaned, we can retrieve the valuable Computer property, which in turn will result in a smaller net load on the catwalks, making your work safer."

[BlueBard]

The scrubbot sets to work, applying its' solution sprayers and rotary brushes to scour the catwalk clean.  All the while the catwalk continues to groan and squeak...

Are you doing anything while you wait?

[Viking]

ArrMatee is putting his trained engineer's eye and flashlight on the catwalk that is making those alarming groaning and squeaking sounds.  If possible, he'd like to evaluate the source of the weakness in the catwalks, and whether it's a systematic problem throughout the whole catwalk structure, or primarily limited to the nearest portion of catwalk.

Not that he expects there to be that much he can do to improve the situation - at best the Troubleshooting team has several rolls of duct tape with which to bolster the soundness of the catwalks.  But if he thinks that duct tape can help stabilize the catwalks, then that's something...

[BlueBard]

At a distance, you can tell that the catwalks are sections of metal joined together and to the walls, and suspended from the ceiling from thin metal bars.  Without actually entering the vat room itself, you see large metal bolts attaching the nearest section of catwalk to the wall.

The creaking, squeaking, and groaning noises are originating from further in, directly ahead of the door going in.

That's about all you're going to be able to find without actually entering the vat room itself and getting a closer look.

[Viking]

Okay... since ArrMatee doesn't have a laser rifle, he's pretty much doing flashlight duty, keeping watch for sources of trouble.  If the creaking and groaning sounds are coming from beyond the location of the Porta-Wall, then that's kinda good... he guesses...

He does not want to stand on the same section of catwalk as the scrubbot.  The idea is to keep the strain on the catwalk sections at a minimum.

"Team Leader - I trust you'll let us all know if you think something... dangerous is about to occur?  I trust your hunches implicitly."

(That being said, ArrMatee's plan is to wait for the scrubbot to finish cleaning the small section leading to the Porta-Wall, after which he'll ask the scrubbot to briefly exit the Vat Room so that he can more safely direct the block-thingy to "Back" up, "Stop," and "Follow" the sound of ArrMatee's voice out of the Vat Room before coming to a "Stop" again.  At which point we can further direct the cleaning activities.)

[BlueBard]

Spyd-R looks at you suspiciously.

"And why would you think I would know when something dangerous is about to happen, hmm?  Are you perhaps trying to implicate me as an unregistered mutant?"

At just this moment, you hear a loud "SNAP!" and metallic screeches coming from both the section of catwalk that the bots are on and from the scrubbot itself.  The far left corner of the catwalk section sags downward slightly, wrenching the nearest support bar out of the ceiling with a small shower of dust.  The creaking and groaning noises intensify.

"Uh... I think something bad is going to happen... would that qualify?" Spyd-R says.

[Viking]

"Back!" calls out ArrMatee, hoping that this gives instructions to both the R&D device and the scrubbot.  He keeps a careful eye on the Porta-Wall's movements, preparing to call out a quick "Follow!"

(He doesn't call out "Stop," since that would likely waste precious seconds before the catwalk collapses utterly.  Hopefully we can get both of those bot-like things out of there before that happens.)

[BlueBard]

The scrubbot scrambles back to a safe section of catwalk, wheels spinning and graspers clawing for handholds.

The PortaWall's wheels start to spin, trying to get a purchase on the slippery surface.

To your horror, you see the PortaWall begin to slide backward toward the edge...

Frantically you call out and ...

Over it goes!  It topples off the catwalk, smashing into the nearest vat with a shriek of sundered metal then falling out of sight!  Vat slime gushes through the breach in a sickening green wave down to the darkened floor as you hear the PortaWall hit bottom with a tremendous CRASH!

Silence, except for the constant drip, drip, drip of vat slime.

Then Blo-R breaks the silence.  "Whoa.  I wonder what the fine for THAT will be?"

[Viking]

ArrMatee's voice is slightly strained as he addresses the Team Leader.

"I was making no oblique references or implications, Team Leader.  I don't have the treasonous mind to even think in that way.  I thought that you had been appointed as Team Leader because of your natural abilities to think better than humble clones like myself, and how to adapt to tactically tense situations."

Pause.

"Er... so what are your orders, Team Leader?"

[BlueBard]

"I think you had better go assess the damage, Friend ArrMatee," Spyd-R says seriously.  "There must be a ladder down to the floor.  Let's go find it."

"Ah, this really has nothing to do with MY mission," Elec-O interjects.  "I think we should just move along and get to that power panel so we can get the lights back on."