Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[BlueBard]

"How are we supposed to explain this?" Numb-R interjects.  "One broken catwalk, one smashed vat, and one blocky-thingie lying on the floor next to the  broken vat... an experimental bot that's assigned to our team?  We need damage control here."

"What damage control?  It's obviously ArrMatee-R's fault," Blo-R replies.

[Viking]

ArrMatee sighs and shakes his head.  "Scrubbot, are you okay?  I'd hate to think that you, as valuable Computer property, were damaged due to having been threatened at laserpoint onto an obviously unstable catwalk by our Hygiene Officer.  Hmm... our Hygiene Officer still has that laser rifle, I see.  Perhaps you should leave immediately to file a report with the Computer - or at least get to someplace safe until the power systems are back online..."

[BlueBard]

"Are you trying to insinuate that I'm the one who caused all this?" Blo-R replies incredulously.

"Bzzt.  All systems fine," the scrubbot assures you hurriedly.  "Must be getting back to my duties.  Nice meeting you, Citizens!  Have a nice daycycle!"  The scrubbot scurries past you and back out to the cafeteria area.

[Viking]

"Oh, I'm not insinuating anything," assures ArrMatee.  "I trust the scrubbot implicitly to report a completely unbiased account of what happened here to the Computer.  Shall we proceed with the mission?"

[BlueBard]

"We're doomed," Numb-R moans.

"Shut up," mutters Blo-R.

"Now, now, Friends, you mustn't bicker or complain," Spyd-R admonishes cheerfully.  "Bickering and complaining lowers morale.  That means people are unhappy.  That erroneously suggests that the Wise and Benevolent Computer isn't maintaining a Utopian society.  That's treasonous behavior.  And that, Friends, results in a Termination Voucher.  So be nice."

He turns to ArrMatee-R.  "Let's just put this unpleasant little episode behind us for the time being and concentrate on our mission.  ArrMatee, please figure out how to get down and assess the damage to the blocky-thingie and the vat.  The rest of us will make our way around the damaged catwalk."

[Viking]

"As per your commands, Team Leader," agrees ArrMatee, with less enthusiasm than he'd otherwise show.  He just doesn't have the Chutzpah to show false cheer at the notion of going down into the bowels of the Vat Room by himself.

"Given the proven structural weakness of the catwalks, may I suggest that the rest of the Troubleshooting team navigate it one clone at a time?  Until a comparatively safe route is determined, I believe that Citizen Elec-O and the toolbot should remain in this kitchen - we cannot risk danger to them."

(Hey - it never hurts to insert a bit of gratuitous bootlicking to the higher-ranking citizen and bot, especially if there's any chance that they'll have their own debriefing...)

ArrMatee will search throughout the kitchen for the ladder that Spyd-R believes should be present.

[BlueBard]

Assuming you are searching the kitchen and not the vat room itself, you do not find a ladder.

The team stares at you uncomprehendingly.

"What are you doing, Friend ArrMatee?" Spyd-R says.  "The vat room is THIS way," he says, pointing.

[Viking]

"Making sure that a ladder wasn't hiding in the kitchen, Team Leader.  I'd hate to think that our team put itself to unnecessary risk due to overlooking something."

He'll join the team.  Next post, please!

[BlueBard]

The vat room is dark and smelly.  Spyd-R motions for you to take the lead.  You gulp, steel yourself, and enter.

Which route do you take through the vat room?  From where you are you can go right or left and you can choose to stay near the walls or cross over the vats.

[Viking]

If ArrMatee didn't know better, he'd think that Spyd-R is deliberately trying to get him killed...

ArrMatee tries navigating the path to the right, sticking against the wall.  He's hoping that should provide a little extra support to the catwalk, not to mention one less direction for him to slip and fall off...

[BlueBard]

When you reach the corner, you find a metal ladder that leads down to the floor.  It, like most surfaces in the vat room, is slick to the touch.  You also find a rack bolted to the wall.  The rack has a number of hooks and a narrow wire shelf along the top.  There is a rubbery looking suit hanging from one of the hooks and a weird-looking long-handled paddle also hanging from the rack.

[Viking]

Does the rubbery suit look like it would fit over my jumpsuit?

[BlueBard]

Quite possibly.

[Viking]

If ArrMatee thinks he can get the rubbery suit on without slipping on the catwalk, he will put on the extra protective gear before heading down the ladder.  Otherwise, he'll drop the rubbery suit down to the vat room floor, then take the ladder down, and then put it on.

Either way, he plans to take the ladder very, very slowly.

[BlueBard]

You struggle into the rubber suit.  It's smelly and ill-fitting, but it covers everything but your face.  The integrated boot soles give you acceptable traction on the slick surfaces.

"We'll meet you on the other side," Spyd-R says.  The rest of the team continues to move along the walls as you descend the ladder.

The floor is slick and covered with a few centimeters of vat slime.  You shine your flashlight across the floor...

AND YOU SEE DOZENS OF EYES STARING BACK AT YOU!

[Viking]

The initial sight simply shocks ArrMatee into silent paralysis for several seconds, and then...

"ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!  THE FLOOR IS LOOKING AT ME!!!!!  KILL IT!  KILL IT!!!"

[BlueBard]

"Oh no!" Numb-R wails.  "The vat fumes have corroded ArrMatee-R's brain!  Run!"  Numb-R bolts for the other side of the vat room.

Panic being an infectious sort of thing, Elec-O, Blo-R, and Spyd-R follow suit instead of shooting the floor.  They seem to be having trouble getting traction for the sprint, though.

Certain you are about to be devoured, you glance back to see if the vat slime has spawned teeth.

It is then you realize that the "eyes" are merely bubbles popping in the vat slime.  Even now you see bubbles burbling in the greenish muck, but no eyes.  There never were any eyes.

Or is that just what the eyes want you to think???

[Viking]

"Careful!" calls out ArrMatee.  "The Vat Monsters can turn invisible!"

[BlueBard]

There is no response, as everyone else is busy trying to use each other for traction on the slippery catwalk above.

[Viking]

Well, at least that means that they're not shooting at ArrMatee.  Gotta try to keep positive, after all.

ArrMatee will nervously creep forward to see if he can spot the Porta-Wall.

[BlueBard]

Peering around a vat, you spy the ruined vat and see the PortaWall upside down in about a foot of muck.  Amazingly, it appears to have landed wheels up and cube-side down and doesn't appear to have been seriously damaged.

IF you could get it upright again, you're doubtful that the chassis is liquidproof.  Too many moving parts.

Meanwhile on the catwalk above, your teammates are making slow (albeit inefficient) progress toward the far door.

[Viking]

ArrMatee continues to flash his light around at this level.  Are there any doors leading out of the Vat Room, at vat-level?

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee looks around for awhile, not immediately finding a door at floor level in the few moments he searches before the team finally makes it to the far door on the upper level.

Blo-R wrenches the door open and the group tumbles into the passageway beyond and out of sight.

After a brief moment of silence, you hear Spyd-R's voice calling out.

"Do you have a report, Friend ArrMatee-R?  If you haven't been messily devoured by some invisible protoplasm, that is..."

[Viking]

"I think the invisible protoplasm has been temporarily distracted, Team Leader!" he calls out.

He then makes sure to be out of the block-thingy's possible lines of expansion as he delivers the next report.

"The block-thingy seems undamaged, but it landed incorrectly in a foot of sludge.  But I don't think it's liquidproof, and it's heavy.  Might be possible to salvage it if we act quick.  Orders, Team Leader?"

[BlueBard]

"Any suggestions, Troubleshooter?" Spyd-R replies.  "That is, any suggestions that won't get mys- uh, anyone on the team, that is, eaten or brainsucked?"

[Viking]

"Weeeeeeell...." ventures ArrMatee with a quavering voice, "since I haven't yet been eaten or brainsucked, this would suggest that the Vat Monsters are as scared of us as we are of them.  The plan least likely to involve risk to valuable Computer property would involve one or more members of the team joining me and using this crowbar to... (*ahem*) properly align the block-thingy.  Heck, they could probably appropriate that paddle by the ladder to give some extra leveraging support."

"A riskier plan, which I would hesitate to authorize, would involve a certain voice command to the... block-thingy, hoping that sudden movement might cause it to properly align itself.  But that could cause unknown damage to the other vats, which is why I guess we have Team Leaders to make these difficult judgment calls."

How long did that paddle hanging by the ladder seem to be?  Long enough for it to conceivably reach the floor while someone held it from the catwalks?  ArrMatee tries to gauge the feasibility of someone providing additional leverage from the catwalks, or if they'd just have to get down in the muck with him.

[BlueBard]

The paddle is long, but not that long.  Anyone helping you would have to come down into the muck.

"Don't listen to him, Team Leader!" shouts Numb-R.  "His brain has probably been taken over by the Vat Monsters and they're trying to lure us back in there!"

"Good point, Citizen," Spyd-R concedes.  "Friend ArrMatee, can you prove that Vat Monsters aren't controlling your body?"

[Viking]

"Certainly, Team Leader!  If Vat Monsters were controlling my body, I wouldn't be able to ask for permission to PLEASE LET ME LEAVE THIS HYGIENIC DISASTER SITE!"

[BlueBard]

There is a brief pause.

Finally Spyd-R calls out.

"That seems reasonable, Troubleshooter.  Can you tell us whether there's a way to get the blocky-thing out of there if we managed to get it upright?  If it's not liquidproof, won't we damage it if we try to move it?  I've got to decide whether getting it out of there is a reasonable objective or an unfortunate distraction to our real mission."

Do you explore the vat room in greater detail, or do something different?

In answer to the liquidproof question... the wall mechanism is the cube part and that is what is currently partly immersed.  There should be no damage to that unless it was left immersed for a period of weekcycles.  The chassis is upside down and well above the slime level.  The chassis may not be liquidproof and the PortaWall could be damaged if it were turned right side up.

[Viking]

ArrMatee pauses at Spyd's words.  "Hang on, I'll take another look..."

This gives him time to digest the new information provided by the GM, so it doesn't look like he's agreeing for the sole sake of getting out of the Vat Room.

"Good point, Team Leader!  Actually, I'd say it landed non-liquidproof side... erm..."

ArrMatee simply points upwards rather than say a direction that might be acted upon by the Porta-Wall.

"Whereas the most durable, and liquidproof portion landed..."

ArrMatee points down.

"So, you're correct - if we try to change its orientation, the Vat Liquids would probably just seep into it and damage it.  The block-thingy would probably be okay for a couple of daycycles... maybe even weekcycles... provided that the level of Vat Liquids doesn't... erm..."

ArrMatee points upwards again.

"I can look for a door, or I can rejoin you so that we can continue our Mission Objective."

If the Team Leader tells ArrMatee to look around for a door, he does so.  If he gets the clearance to rejoin the team, he'll go to the ladder and start climbing.