Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[BlueBard]

The Orange-level mutters under his breath as he goes through ArrMatee's requisitions.

"Approved, approved, denied, denied, approved...blah, blah, blah... denied, denied, denied."

He moves to a terminal and begins to key in the requests.  He ignores any and all attempts by ArrMatee to get his attention.

Several minutes later, the clerk reappears laden with boxes.  Two jackobots come in behind her with more boxes.

"Here's your mission issue, Citizen.  Sign here."

[Viking]

With a smile, ArrMatee signs and will set to work getting the boxes set up away from the PLC counter so that the processing of requests can continue with as little fuss as possible.

[BlueBard]

The clerk takes ArrMatee's paperwork from the supervisor, who goes back to hovering over the storefront area.

"Let's see... You're approved for all of this stuff here.  And these have been denied."  She shoves some of the forms back across the counter.

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]The following items have been denied.  Everything else you specifically requested has been approved.

Red Reflec
Toolbox (you got the tools, though)
Extension Cord
Power Adapters
Geiger Counter

You can try to appeal to get the denied items, if you want.[/spoiler]

[Viking]

ArrMatee delivers on his promise of offering a Happiness Energy Bar to the clerk, despite her apparent indifference.

"Thank you for such prompt delivery of this equipment!" he says genuinely.

He then tries to appeal to the clerk for approval of the remaining items, keeping his voice lowered so as not to disturb the other Troubleshooters waiting in line.  He does occasionally turn and gesture to his various teammates, and once gestures at Citizen Shoot-O-LOT, with a rather more forced grin on his face.

(*Details of this discussion being handled via PM*)

[BlueBard]

"Okay, I get where you're coming from Citizen," the clerk replies.  "But no can do on the Reflec armor.  Got no more Red Reflec in stock.  Sorry.  Check back next week."

At this, the Reds in line all groan and abandon their places in line.  The clerk continues.

"The other item you requisitioned is above your security level, Citizen.  I'm going to need additional justification for that.  Why can't you just stuff everything into the backpack you were issued?"

[Viking]

"I could, Friend Citizen," ArrMatee replies, "but a Troubleshooter must always be ready to act swiftly, for the good of the team and the mission!   An Equipment Guy who has such an item is far more organized and ready to respond to a maintenance request (*like a laser fight*) in an efficient manner than one who does not!"

"Failing that, however, I could work with a tool belt.  That would enable me to have a variety of repair tools close-at-hand, for a variety of emergencies.  Would that be closer to my Security Clearance?"

[BlueBard]

"I could, Friend Citizen," ArrMatee replies, "but a Troubleshooter must always be ready to act swiftly, for the good of the team and the mission!   An Equipment Guy who has such an item is far more organized and ready to respond to a maintenance request (*like a laser fight*) in an efficient manner than one who does not!"

"Failing that, however, I could work with a tool belt.  That would enable me to have a variety of repair tools close-at-hand, for a variety of emergencies.  Would that be closer to my Security Clearance?"

"Approved," she sighs.  "Let me get your stuff."

A few minutes later you receive:

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]Hottorch
SuperGum
SuperSolvent
Flashlight
Thermos
Knife
Plasticord (4 m)
Happiness Energy Bars (3)
Bullhorn
Set of screwdrivers
Adjustable wrench
Soldering kit
Wire strippers
Pliers
Can Opener
Wire (30 m)
Tool belt[/spoiler]

"Next!" she calls out.

Spyd, you're up.  You present the clerk with your paperwork.  She eyes the first item on the list.

"You know you're not getting the reflec, right?"  She picks up a red marker and starts lining things out on your forms.  "Here's what you're approved for, Citizen."  She shows you the forms so you can see what you get and what you don't.

Spyd:
[spoiler]Here's the list of stuff you'll get, no problem.  The other stuff was denied.  Do you try to appeal for the other items?

Red laser barrel (1)  APPROVED
Multicorder I  APPROVED
Little Black Friend (10)  APPROVED
Wakey-Wakey (10)  APPROVED
Sleepy-Sleepy (10)  APPROVED
Wide-Awake (10)  APPROVED
Tireless Servant (10)  APPROVED
Bouncy-Bubble (6)  APPROVED
Pencil  APPROVED[/spoiler]

[Viking]

ArrMatee is now busily checking, organizing, and opening the boxes of equipment so that his fellow Troubleshooters may claim their Mission Equipment once they have signed for it.

[gdaybloke]

Spyd runs his eyes down the list. Nodding at the approvals, smiling slightly less at the denials, until he comes to one in particular.

"Pardon me, citizen- clearly the Computer, in all its wisdom, has assigned you to this duty, and I must commend you on doing such a marvellous job. I appreciate the hard work you do in service to the complex, but I must appeal this one.

[spoiler]
Spyd points at the word 'notebook' on the list.

"Clearly, if I am to properly diagnose the needs of my team with regard to happy pills and the like, I'm going to have to be able to make notes - these will also aid in future missions, since I'll be better able to advise other Happiness Officers of correct dosages for particular clones in particular states on not-quite-as-happy-as-they-should-be-ness.
Something to write these notes on is pretty much intrinsic to fulfilling this aspect of my computer-assigned role in the team. I would so hate to have to report to Shoot-O-LOT at the end of the mission, that I was unable to fulfil my duties because I was not assigned a notebook. I am certain that the blame would fall on my own shoulders, being a lowly Red-clearance troubleshooter, but I would hate to feel responsible should Shoot-O-LOT decide that an investigation of PLC policies and procedures regarding the equipping of troubleshooting teams be required. So many otherwise loyal clones would come under intense scrutiny, I am certain."[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

Spyd runs his eyes down the list. Nodding at the approvals, smiling slightly less at the denials, until he comes to one in particular.

"Pardon me, citizen- clearly the Computer, in all its wisdom, has assigned you to this duty, and I must commend you on doing such a marvellous job. I appreciate the hard work you do in service to the complex, but I must appeal this one.

[spoiler]
Spyd points at the word 'notebook' on the list.

"Clearly, if I am to properly diagnose the needs of my team with regard to happy pills and the like, I'm going to have to be able to make notes - these will also aid in future missions, since I'll be better able to advise other Happiness Officers of correct dosages for particular clones in particular states on not-quite-as-happy-as-they-should-be-ness.
Something to write these notes on is pretty much intrinsic to fulfilling this aspect of my computer-assigned role in the team. I would so hate to have to report to Shoot-O-LOT at the end of the mission, that I was unable to fulfil my duties because I was not assigned a notebook. I am certain that the blame would fall on my own shoulders, being a lowly Red-clearance troubleshooter, but I would hate to feel responsible should Shoot-O-LOT decide that an investigation of PLC policies and procedures regarding the equipping of troubleshooting teams be required. So many otherwise loyal clones would come under intense scrutiny, I am certain."[/spoiler]

The clerk glances at Shoot-O, whose scowl is deepening more and more into something approaching meltdown.

"You have a point, Citizen.  Approved."

She goes in back to fill your requisitions and returns several minutes later with your 'stuff', shoving it across the counter:

Spyd:
[spoiler]Red laser barrel (1)
Multicorder I
Little Black Friend (10)
Wakey-Wakey (10)
Sleepy-Sleepy (10)
Wide-Awake (10)
Tireless Servant (10)
Bouncy-Bubble (6)
Pencil
Notebook[/spoiler]

"Next!" she calls out.  Spam, you're up.  Any final changes to your requisition list?

[gdaybloke]

Spyd smiles at the PLC clerk.

"Thank you for all your help and hard work, citizen. The computer is our friend!"

With that he takes his "stuff" and saunters over to join ArrMatee in getting things packed.

He nudges his fellow troubleshooter.

"Don't forget to leave enough room should R&D need anything field tested!"

[Spam]

OFC: No, I think the list is okay.

IG: I walk up to the counter, looking the clerk in the eyes. For some unapparant reason, I'm shaking my requisition form while gripping it tightley, very scared like. I finally reach the counter, throw the form, hoping it'll land on the counter somehow, and start to talk.

"Just... take it... please... just... don't do anything freaky..." I say, nearly in a whisper. A very scared whisper, of course.

[BlueBard]

OFC: No, I think the list is okay.

IG: I walk up to the counter, looking the clerk in the eyes. For some unapparant reason, I'm shaking my requisition form while gripping it tightley, very scared like. I finally reach the counter, throw the form, hoping it'll land on the counter somehow, and start to talk.

"Just... take it... please... just... don't do anything freaky..." I say, nearly in a whisper. A very scared whisper, of course.

The clerk looks at you suspiciously, then takes the forms and looks at them.

"No problem with the multicorder or the com unit.  But the camera is above your security clearance, Citizen.  I'm afraid I'll have to deny it unless you can justify why the multicorder isn't good enough to satisfy your needs."

[Spam]

I give the lady a very strange look, a flinch, and then a slam my hands on the counter.

"WHAT!? I'M GETTING DENIED!? DENIED FROM WHAT!? OH GOSH, I CAN ALREADY FEEL THE PAIN!"

[gdaybloke]

Spyd's head snaps up at the outburst.

"By the Computer, it looks like I'm needed already!"

Bottle and camcorder in hand, Spyd rushes over and puts an arm around Spam's shoulder.

[spoiler]Just WHICH bottle will be detailed in PM[/spoiler]

"There, there, fellow troubleshooter, it appears your happiness levels are less than adequate!"

Under the watchful gaze off Shoot-O-LOT and the clerk, Spyd continues.

"I'm sure your loyalty to the computer is beyond question, so this unhappiness must be because of some other influence, but here, I have the answer in my hand!"

Setting the multicorder on the counter, Spyd expertly pops the top off the bottle and rolls a small pill into his waiting palm.

"Here, fellow troubleshooter, this should make you feel much happier! And to further your service to the computer, please allow me to document this moment so that other clones can witness the results of the hard work and dedication of the PLC clerks who provide us with such wonderful pharmaceuticals!"

Smiling gingerly at the clerk and hoping this little bit of flattery has worked, Spyd puts the pill in Spam's hand, picks up his multicorder and starts recording.

[Spam]

Stunned by the amazingly cool, but somewhat strange display of leadership and determination by Spyd, Spam just looks at him strangely during Spyd's entire moment. But when he's given the pill, Spam let's it drop to the ground, and crushes it under his foot.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO!? Was that poison!? Huh!!? I bet it was poison, wasn't it! Don't try and talk me out of this!!! Just, you, clerk person!" I saying, pointing at the clerk.

"Just give me my gear! Make tripely sure that it's safe and secure! ALRIGHT!?! That's all I want, and then you can continue doing your duty for the "awesome computer" I say, doing little hand motions when the Computer is mentioned.

[Viking]

ArrMatee's jaw drops in shock at Spam's outburst.  This is followed by a panicked look towards the increasingly enraged Shoot-O-LOT.

"Blatant unhappiness... Refusal to take medication at the Happiness Officer's request.... Incomprehensible but probably disloyal hand gestures when referring to The Computer???  Shall I start filling out the paperwork for his Termination Request now, Citizen Shoot-O-LOT?"

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* Meanwhile, oblivious to the shenanigans going on ahead, Numb appears to be wraped up in a fresh problem of his own.  Counting off the number of persons in the queue in front of him, he seems out of sorts.  There follows a moment of dithering as he looks around him.  For a moment he considers addressing the queue member in front of him, then thinks the better of it.  Next he turns to the person behind him but again refrains from saying anything.  Finally a look of resolution crosses his face.  Offering his place in the queue to the person behind him, he goes to the back of the room and rests on a bench until the queues subside. *

[BlueBard]

Shoot-O charges forward, veins nearly popping through his angry red face.  He gets RIGHT in Spam's face.

"THREE DEMERITS, RECRUIT!  YOU WANNA PUSH ME ALL THE WAY TO TERMINATION VOUCHER?  HUH?  OR DO YOU WANNA GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO SKIP IT?  CAUSE I HATE PAPERWORK!  YOU'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR MEDS AND EVERY OTHER LAWFUL ORDER YOU'RE GIVEN OR I'M GONNA SEE IF YOUR NEXT CLONE IS ANY LESS OF A SPAZZ AND POSSIBLY HALFWAY USEFUL AS A TROUBLESHOOTER!  YOU READ ME, RECRUIT?!"

Spam:
[spoiler]Shoot-O's impressive volume and violent delivery has shaken you to the point where you think you might be about to lose bladder control.  How do you react?  Especially considering you haven't taken possession of your laser pistol yet...[/spoiler]

Then Shoot-O turns to Numb.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, RECRUIT?  OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO USE YOU FOR TARGET PRACTICE, TOO?  GET YOUR PRISSY BUTT BACK IN LINE AND GET YOUR ISSUE!!!"

[BlueBard]

I should also hasten to point out that the Secbots guarding the Outlet have moved from their positions at the door and have now flanked the entire group between them...

[Spam]

[spoiler]I try to control myself in any way I can, as I don't want to draw any more attention (especially if it involves my bladder). So I guess I'll just wait for the clerk to give me my stuff, and then get the crap out of line.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

Spam visibly forces himself to be calm and softly asks for his issue.  Shoot-O relaxes a little and the Secbots stand silently.  The clerk, a bit shaken herself, scurries into the warehouse and returns a few moments later with Spam's multicorder and com unit.

"Sign here," she says.  (I assume Spam does so without complaint)

"Next!" she calls out.

Blo, you're up.  Do you want to make any last minute changes in your requisition?

[Panther_Gunn]

After the clarifications provided by the helpful Equipment Guy, and the revelation about the Reflec, Blo will amend his requisition forms to include a mix of everything that he's mandatorily authorized for the mission, the list the Equipment Guy rattled off, 5 Personal Hygiene kits, 5 Boot Polish kits, and 5 thermoses.

[gdaybloke]

Spyd looks around for the pill dropped by Spam, fearful of wasting Computer property.

[Spam]

I quickly scurry out of the line with my newly requisitioned equipment, and go ask ArMatee for any standard equipment I need for the mission. Then, I sit down at a place where I could sit, and wait for the rest of the team.

[BlueBard]

After the clarifications provided by the helpful Equipment Guy, and the revelation about the Reflec, Blo will amend his requisition forms to include a mix of everything that he's mandatorily authorized for the mission, the list the Equipment Guy rattled off, 5 Personal Hygiene kits, 5 Boot Polish kits, and 5 thermoses.

To clarify... YOU don't need to requisition anything that was on the standard issue list that ArrMatee provided.  That's been done for you already.  All you need to do is to sign for the stuff that ArrMatee issues you.  You can request more of this stuff if you believe the quantities are insufficient.

So your personal requisition is for 5 hygiene kits, 5 boot polish kits, and 5 thermoses, correct?

[BlueBard]

Spyd looks around for the pill dropped by Spam, fearful of wasting Computer property.

Spyd, you start crawling around on your hands and knees looking for the pill

Spyd:
[spoiler]While you're down there, you suddenly start feeling really drowsy...[/spoiler]

[Viking]

As his teammates continue requisitioning their equipment, ArrMatee returns to the business of organizing the Standard-Issue Mission Equipment, for efficient pickup by his fellow Troubleshooters In Program Training.  Time permitting, he also busies himself with checking the quality and status of the equipment, to see if there is anything already in need of repair.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Then Shoot-O turns to Numb.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, RECRUIT?  OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO USE YOU FOR TARGET PRACTICE, TOO?  GET YOUR PRISSY BUTT BACK IN LINE AND GET YOUR ISSUE!!!"

"Er... Sir yes sir!" replies Numb, using the parlance he understands that military folk love so well.  "I was simply giving others a chance to benefit from the...  I'm getting right back in line now."  He enters the queue and, checking ahead of him at those in front, he seems happy again.

This happiness is brief though and he seems discomfitted once the queue advances a pace.  Looking behind once more he considers addressing the person behind him but again thinks the better of it.  Another uncertain pause and then a look of confident satisfaction crosses his eyes and he addresses the person in the queue in front of him:

"Excuse me citizen.  I don't mean to disrupt you in your busy and constructive day-cycle but I have a proposal that might be of interest to us both."

Without waiting to properly size up the response, he continues:

"We're all on the same team here, so to speak, all working together in harmony for the greater glory of The Computer.  So I suggest to you that you trade places with me in the queue and in return you can have this beautiful Loyalty pamphlet and a fetching "I Love The Computer" button.  Hah?  Eh?  What do you say?  No...?  Yes...?".  A slightly awkward pause follows.  "Tell you what, you can have three of each!"

[BlueBard]

For the sake of keeping things straight, it is Blo who is in line before Numb and he has just stepped up to the counter to be served.

I should also point out that Numb does not yet have the Loyalty pamphlets... he has to get them and the rest of his standard issue from ArrMatee, who will be more than happy to issue gear to anyone who signs for it, thus signifying receipt of, and responsibility for, said gear.

I should also point out that anyone who DOESN'T receive their mission issue is probably trying to sabotage the mission by not accepting the gear their superiors have deemed essential for completion of said mission.