Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[gdaybloke]

[OOC] Did I find what I was looking for??[/OOC]

[Panther_Gunn]

After the clarifications provided by the helpful Equipment Guy, and the revelation about the Reflec, Blo will amend his requisition forms to include a mix of everything that he's mandatorily authorized for the mission, the list the Equipment Guy rattled off, 5 Personal Hygiene kits, 5 Boot Polish kits, and 5 thermoses.

To clarify... YOU don't need to requisition anything that was on the standard issue list that ArrMatee provided.  That's been done for you already.  All you need to do is to sign for the stuff that ArrMatee issues you.  You can request more of this stuff if you believe the quantities are insufficient.

So your personal requisition is for 5 hygiene kits, 5 boot polish kits, and 5 thermoses, correct?

oog:  I'm sorry, my misconception.  For some reason my brain wasn't putting all the pieces into the right places.  Guess I need a couple more ranks in Beuracracy.  ;)

ig:  Shuffling through his paperwork, Blo's face brightens, finding the one he was looking for, somewhere on the bottom.
"Ah, here it is.....one requisition for one Multicorder I.  As stated, to better show our team in it's gleaming, gloriful service to the Computer!"

Another uncertain pause and then a look of confident satisfaction crosses his eyes and he addresses the person in the queue in front of him:

"Excuse me citizen.  I don't mean to disrupt you in your busy and constructive day-cycle but I have a proposal that might be of interest to us both."

Without waiting to properly size up the response, he continues:

"We're all on the same team here, so to speak, all working together in harmony for the greater glory of The Computer.  So I suggest to you that you trade places with me in the queue and in return you can have this beautiful Loyalty pamphlet and a fetching "I Love The Computer" button.  Hah?  Eh?  What do you say?  No...?  Yes...?".  A slightly awkward pause follows.  "Tell you what, you can have three of each!"

After depositing his paperwork on the PLC Outlet counter, Blo looks askance over his shoulder, in the direction the voice has come from: "Pardon me, "citizen", but are you attempting to publicly bribe me with property that not only are you not in posession of, but clearly belongs to the all-knowing Computer?  The mind fairly boggles at what could be going on inside the thoughts of such a person, for I would be hesitant to even call one "Citizen".  I am sure that Citizen Shoot-O and the Secbots", as Blo nods vaguely in the direction of each, "would have something rather unpleasant to say about such thinking.  As I think they are about to."  Blo then turns his attention back to the PLC clerk, to hear the fate of his requisitions.

[BlueBard]

[OOC] Did I find what I was looking for??[/OOC]

Spyd:
[spoiler]If you were looking for a good place to lay down and take a nap, then yes.  You can barely keep your eyes open.  A bottle of Bouncy Bubble might help perk you up a bit...[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

Blo:

The clerk takes your paperwork, nods, and goes into the back room.  She returns a couple of minutes later and shoves a pile of stuff at you:

[spoiler]5 Personal Hygiene Kits
5 Boot Polish Kits
5 Thermoses
Multicorder I[/spoiler]

"Next!" the clerk calls out.  Numb is next in line.

Numb... What are you requisitioning?  I don't seem to have your list.

[Panther_Gunn]

Blo takes his issued items & steps away from the counter.  He looks over them briefly, and his head snaps up, eyes wide. "Aah!"

He quickly gets back into line behind Numb, and begins to quickly (yet efficiently) fill out the remainder of his requisition forms (or picks up some new ones, if need be).

[gdaybloke]

Spyd's attention rockets upwards at Blo's exclamation; he stands, salutes the missing pill's sacrifice in service of the computer (while mentally noting that its disappearance wasn't his fault), and saunters over to get the rest of his issue sorted into his pack with the rest of the team.

[BlueBard]

Blo takes his issued items & steps away from the counter.  He looks over them briefly, and his head snaps up, eyes wide. "Aah!"

He quickly gets back into line behind Numb, and begins to quickly (yet efficiently) fill out the remainder of his requisition forms (or picks up some new ones, if need be).

GM: What else are you requisitioning?  We might take care of you while we're waiting for Phantom Eyebrow to check in, just to speed things up a bit.  I'm way ready to get out of PLC, don't know about the rest of you.

[BlueBard]

Blo...

Just assume the following items were already requisitioned and received by you:

[spoiler]1 canister of ScourClean industrial-strength cleanser
5 scouring pads
1 Skin Core Sampler[/spoiler]

Everyone:
Now, as soon as Numb completes his requisitions, we're off to R&D!  (With a brief, off-camera stop to change into your new Red jumpsuits.)  Unless someone specifically says they are NOT signing for the equipment ArrMatee is issuing, I assume you are going with the flow and have received said equipment.

Numb:  If I don't hear from you by tomorrow, I will assume you are not requesting any additional gear.

[BlueBard]

As soon as Numb gets to the head of the line, Shoot-O interrupts.

"ALL RIGHT, RECRUITS!  THAT'S ENOUGH SKYLARKING!  MOVE OUT!  DOUBLE TIME!  MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!"

Shoot-O herds the team out of the PLC Outlet with threats of demerits and bodily harm.  All protests are met with colorful aspersions on the source of your DNA.  There is a brief stop at Troubleshooter HQ where everyone is told to get on their new jumpsuits "ON THE DOUBLE!".  No privacy is given and Shoot-O has tolerated all the delay he's going to for the moment.

Then, the team is forced to jog to DTH Sector R&D labs at top speed, with Shoot-O snarling, yelling, and cursing the entire way for encouragement.  Mind you, top speed is pretty pathetic considering all of the gear you're carrying and how generally unused to strenuous exercise you are.  Only when you pass into the heavily reinforced, meter-thick walls of the Testing Area are you allowed to catch your breath.

You see a Yellow R&D tech and a lowly Red assistant with the telltale mutant stripe on his jumpsuit.  There is a heavy metal table with a few items on it and something that looks like the skeletal frame of a large humanoid robot with a barrel on the back.  Steam appears to be venting out of the barrel.

"My name is Murph-Y-LAW," the R&D tech introduces himself.  "I'll be your R&D liason.  As you may know, in the Computer's great wisdom R&D has been directed to test it's innovative and highly advanced experimental marvels of science in the field.  It has been determined that Troubleshooter teams are usually the best field-testers, and so here you are!  Whenever you are given a mission, R&D will issue your team a number of breakthrough new devices and such to be field-tested.  Your team leader will decide who is most qualified to test any given item."

"That would be me for this mission," Shoot-O interjects.

Murph-Y gestures at the table with a flourish.  "And here they are!"  He picks up what appears to be a Red laser barrel.

"This is something we've come up with especially for the new Troubleshooter training program.  It's a non-lethal laser device to be used during 'live-fire' training exercises, to cut down on the number of training casualties.  Each of you will receive one.  It fits on a standard laser pistol or laser rifle, but the beam is absolutely harmless."

He then picks up a harness with photosensors attached at various points.  "You will also receive training harnesses to go with the training laser barrels.  These will allow your trainer to assess simulated combat damage."  He turns to his assistant.  "Crash-R, put this on."  Crash-R shakes his head, a look of dread in his eyes, but Murph-Y emphatically shakes the harness at him and the Red complies.  Murph-Y pulls out a laser pistol and connects one of the training barrels.

"Allow me to demonstrate."  He shoots Crash-R with the laser, the red beam of light hitting the harness.  Crash-R yelps as you hear a loud buzz from the harness.  "You see?  The harness delivers a mild electrical shock to the wearer, so you can tell when they've been hit.  There's no damage whatsoever."  Crash-R continues to twitch as he hastily removes the harness, then starts handing out a training barrel and a training harness to each member of the team, including Shoot-O.

"Put 'em on," Shoot-O growls.  You notice, however, that Shoot-O makes no move to put on a harness himself.  Before any of you can helpfully point out this oversight, Murph-Y continues.

"Now THIS," he says proudly, pointing to a device in the general shape of a backpack, "is our answer to the inexplicable decline in team morale once in the field.  The Portable Morale Booster!  Guaranteed to lift the spirits of any team in any situation.  As you can see, it has shoulder straps for easy portability.  The controls are on the side here, and there's a built-in PA system and a high-fidelity microphone that attaches to the PMB."

Murph-Y moves on to the next gizmo.  He picks up something that looks like a shiny elliptical orb.  "This is our latest innovation in non-lethal weaponry; the Energy Suppression Grenade!  This marvelous device operates on quantum effects in local electromagnetic fields to temporarily suppress the flow of electrical current in a small area.  It should disable any advanced weaponry in the possession of an enemy, allowing the Troubleshooters to easily overpower a hostile force."

Next, the tech picks up something that looks like a multicorder.  "I'm really proud of this handy gadget.  As you may know, one of the most dangerous problems faced by any team of Troubleshooters are traitors with unregistered mutations.  Well, that won't be a problem anymore!  Behold!  The Mutant Detector!  Allow me to demonstrate.  Crash-R?"

Crash-R closes his eyes and concentrates, then slowly begins rising into the air.

(GM: Anyone with an anti-mutant phobia may react at this point.)

[Viking]

ArrMatee cautiously accepts the harness and laser barrel from the Registered Mutant.   He holds it out at arms' length for a few moments before proceeding to check that his equipment is in working order before putting it on, as it will no doubt fall to him to repair any of this equipment in case of emergency.

His head jerks up at the mention of the Mutant Detector, however.  When Crash-R actually begins to float in the air, ArrMatee gasps and momentarily fumbles his equipment - just managing to catch it before it hits the ground.  He takes several steps back from the obvious display of mutant ability, trying to edge behind one or more of his fellow Troubleshooters.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Slightly miffed at not getting the chance to requistion some cool gear for himself, but loyal enough to trust that Shoot-O's intervention serves the greater good, Numb makes his way with the others to DTH Sector.  En route he takes the opportunity to continue his exchange of pleasanteries with Blo:  "You know you might have joined the wrong queue back there citizen there citizen; you've just joined the trouble-shooters."

[BlueBard]

As Crash-R rises into the air, the device that Murph-Y is holding begins to give off a high-pitched warbling sound.

"You see?  When a mutant is detected, the Mutant Detector will make that sound to alert you!  It will change pitch as you get closer to a detected mutant," he explains.

[gdaybloke]

"Astounding! Another triumph for R&D!" exclaims Spyd.

"This should be documented, for later conversion into a morale-boosting documentary!"

Spyd snaps on his multicorder and raises it to his shoulder.

[Viking]

ArrMatee's voice quavers slightly as he voices a question, still keeping his suspicious gaze on the floating Registered Mutant.

"Arr..... so does this... arr... remarrrkable device from ARR&D only starrrt t'make that sound when some Mutant... arr... decides t'use a Mutant Powarrr near t'the device?  Oarrr... does it detect th'mutants even when they arrre layin' low?"

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee's voice quavers slightly as he voices a question, still keeping his suspicious gaze on the floating Registered Mutant.

"Arr..... so does this... arr... remarrrkable device from ARR&D only starrrt t'make that sound when some Mutant... arr... decides t'use a Mutant Powarrr near t'the device?  Oarrr... does it detect th'mutants even when they arrre layin' low?"

Murph-Y favors you with a withering stare of contempt.  "Well of course it detects mutants wherever they may be!  Of what use would the detector be if it couldn't sense a mutant?  Really, now."

Shoot-O's eyes narrow and he growls, "Lemme see that," as he snatches the Detector out of Murph-Y's hands with a glare that seems to dare him to make any objection.  Shoot-O gives the device careful scrutiny, turning it over and looking at it.  Then he grunts, relaxes, and hands the Detector back to Murph-Y.

The R&D tech places the Detector back on the table and quickly moves to the heavy metal frame, cutting off any further discussion of the Mutant Detector's capabilities for the time being.

"And this final item... This is one of our finest inventions yet.  This is a Steam-Powered Exoskeleton!  Just like the heavy-duty exoskeletons used in construction work, except this one doesn't need batteries or an external power supply!  It can function in any terrain, on or off the complex's power grid, even... Outside."  He pauses a moment for dramatic effect.

"This beauty is powered only by water and a small quantity of radioactive material to produce superheated steam.  The steam in turn drives the hydraulic systems of the exoskeleton.  Sheer genius!"

"Yeah, yeah," Shoot-O grumbles.  "Okay, Recruits.  Time for your Field-Testing assignments.  This is part of your Troubleshooter training, so don't screw up." 

"Loyalty Officer Numb!  You get the Mutant Detector.  Keep an eye out for mutant traitors."

"Happiness Officer Spyd!  Take possession of the Portable Morale Booster.  Make sure you keep ME happy, Recruit."

"Equipment Guy ArrMatee!  You get to test the Energy Suppression Grenade."

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]As you pass by Shoot-O, he mutters, "I don't care how you test it... you set that thing off anywhere near me and I'll make sure you regret it, Recruit."[/spoiler]

"Cleanliness Officer Blo!  Strap yourself into that exoskeleton and bring up the rear."

"Comm Officer Spam!  You get to be the head of the line; I want you up where I can see you, Recruit.  Everybody get your gear in shape and get ready to move out!"

[Viking]

ArrMatee snaps to attention, grateful at least for the fact that he seems to get one of the lighter pieces of equipment.  Like all equipment that comes into his care, he looks it over carefully, making sure he knows how to activate it, and more importantly - how to avoid accidentally setting it off.

At Citizen Shoot-O-LOT's angry muttering, ArrMatee slaps his hand to his forehead in salute and gives a panicked nod.

"Citizen Murph-Y-LAW?" he calls out.  "What is the estimated area of effect for this Energy Suppression Grenade?"

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee snaps to attention, grateful at least for the fact that he seems to get one of the lighter pieces of equipment.  Like all equipment that comes into his care, he looks it over carefully, making sure he knows how to activate it, and more importantly - how to avoid accidentally setting it off.

At Citizen Shoot-O-LOT's angry muttering, ArrMatee slaps his hand to his forehead in salute and gives a panicked nod.

"Citizen Murph-Y-LAW?" he calls out.  "What is the estimated area of effect for this Energy Suppression Grenade?"

"I'm sorry, Citizen, but that information is classified," Murph-Y informs you smugly.

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]The shiny elliptical orb has a polished mirrorlike surface broken only by an indentation in one end.  There is a switch recessed into this indentation.  There appear to be three switch positions, marked O, 3, and 5; the switch is currently in the 'O' position.[/spoiler]

[gdaybloke]

Spyd eagerly hefts the PMB and examines to get a better idea of its functionality

[OOC] Such as, what does it look like it is. Other than the shoulderstraps I'm gathering from your description that it's essentially a portable PA system? Can I get a clearer description of the visual please?[/OOC]

[BlueBard]

Spyd eagerly hefts the PMB and examines to get a better idea of its functionality

[OOC] Such as, what does it look like it is. Other than the shoulderstraps I'm gathering from your description that it's essentially a portable PA system? Can I get a clearer description of the visual please?[/OOC]

I was just waiting for you to ask, Citizen :)

Spyd:

[spoiler]The PMB is more than just a portable PA system.  There is a small display for selecting different anthems and marches, a dial for volume, a power switch, and several labeled buttons.  The buttons are labeled as follows:

Fog Machine
Light Show
Instant Happiness
Crowd Control
AutoFun

Aside from the attached microphone, on a 3 meter cord, and some big honkin speakers, that's about it.[/spoiler]

[Panther_Gunn]

"And this final item... This is one of our finest inventions yet.  This is a Steam-Powered Exoskeleton!  Just like the heavy-duty exoskeletons used in construction work, except this one doesn't need batteries or an external power supply!  It can function in any terrain, on or off the complex's power grid, even... Outside."  He pauses a moment for dramatic effect.

"This beauty is powered only by water and a small quantity of radioactive material to produce superheated steam.  The steam in turn drives the hydraulic systems of the exoskeleton.  Sheer genius!"

During the description of this fine piece of technology, Blo's eyes close, and a shudder briefly runs down his spine.

"Yeah, yeah," Shoot-O grumbles.  "Okay, Recruits.  Time for your Field-Testing assignments.  This is part of your Troubleshooter training, so don't screw up." 

"Cleanliness Officer Blo!  Strap yourself into that exoskeleton and bring up the rear."

"At once, Citizen Shoot-O!"  Blo will take a closer look at, and then don the dubious-looking Training Harness, collect the accompanying barrel, and then begin to look over the exo-skeleton, attempting to locate and identify controls, as well as how to actually get into the thing.  "I'm more accustomed to having *others* field-test things, but I'm sure the Computer knows best.", he mutters a little to himself.

[spoiler]Blo will try to find a quick, covert way to disable the shock delivery system in his harness before putting it on.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

Blo,

With the help of Murph-Y and Crash-R, you manage to wrestle yourself into the SPX.  They show you where to add water to the steam chamber (you'll have to get out of it in order to do so).  The thing is actually fairly clever for a steam-powered device.  It responds to pressure from your arms and legs to activate the complex hydraulics.

[spoiler]However, the thing is SLOW and not terribly precise.  Lifting capacity is superhuman, but at the cost of a bit of clumsiness.  Furthermore, small jets of steam continually vent from the thing and it is uncomfortably warm to use.  You start to sweat almost immediately.  It's heavy enough that you will have trouble budging it if the steam power were to fail for any reason.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

"OKAY!" Shoot-O shouts, getting everyone's attention.  "Time to go!  We're supposed to be working for a meal, not hanging around like do-nothings!  Let's go!"

"Um... Go where?" Spam asks hesitantly.

"You Troubleshooter wannabes all need fresh engram copies!  You goofballs get yourselves killed falling down the stairs or something and I don't wanna have to repeat myself over and over.  Plus the docbot needs to assess whether you gene-challenged throwbacks are physically fit enough to be Troubleshooters!  So we're going to the sickbay at Troubleshooter HQ.  That satisfy your curiosity, Recruit?  Now MOVE!  Line up!  Spam-R in front, Blo-R bring up the rear in that contraption!"

[Viking]

ArrMatee snaps to attention, trying to find a spot as exactly in the middle of the line as he can.  He continues to look toward Shoot-O-LOT for any visual cues that might suggest that the Orange Citizen would want ArrMatee (and hence the Energy Suppression Grenade) to be otherwise positioned in line.

[gdaybloke]

Keeping morale up as they get in line, Spyd flicks on the PMB.

"Testing... testing..." he tries to find a comfortable volume setting before launching into a computer-approved marching anthem.

[BlueBard]

Keeping morale up as they get in line, Spyd flicks on the PMB.

"Testing... testing..." he tries to find a comfortable volume setting before launching into a computer-approved marching anthem.

You power on the PMB, set the volume level to about half of maximum and turn on the microphone.

"TESTING... TESTING... SQUEEEEEEE!"

The blast of sound causes everyone in the vicinity except Shoot-O to cover their ears.  Frantically, you turn off the microphone.  The feedback immediately stops, filling the air with blissful silence except for the ringing in your ears.

"Is there a problem?" Shoot-O asks loudly, his brow furrowed in confused irritation.  "It works, right?"

[Viking]

ArrMatee quickly decides that it would be a good idea to be firmly behind the Happiness Officer - morally, and physically.

A pained grin is plastered on his face as he feels inside a pocket to pull out a Happiness Energy Bar.  "Fortunately, I requisitioned my own source of supplemental Happiness!"

After eating the Happiness Energy Bar, he will carefully tear the wrapper in half, and then loosely wad the two halves into a set of earplugs, which he will then use.

[Panther_Gunn]

[spoiler]Was Blo close enough to need to cover his ears, as well?  Since he's piloting that contraption, any chance that it causes him to stumble & squish any of his fellow troubleshooters? :twisted:[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

[spoiler]Was Blo close enough to need to cover his ears, as well?  Since he's piloting that contraption, any chance that it causes him to stumble & squish any of his fellow troubleshooters? :twisted:[/spoiler]

Blo:
[spoiler]If anything, you would have bashed your own head in trying to cover your ears.  But I'm feeling merciful today...[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

Without further incident, Shoot-O herds the Troubleshooters to sickbay.  The sickbay is empty, save for Watch-Y and one docbot.  The docbot stands at just below average human height and moves about on three wheels.  It has four limbs; two of them are light duty arms with precision-grade manipulators, one has a built in laser scalpel, and the fourth ends in a surgical-grade chainsaw.  The robot's photosensors and speaker grille are shaped to resemble a smiling face.  A small reflector is mounted on its forehead.

"Mark-S Wellbot?" Shoot-O addresses the docbot.  "Here are the new recruits.  Check 'em out, will ya?"

"With pleasure, Friend Shoot-O!"  The docbot turns to the new recruits.  "All right, then, everyone strip down to your undergarments and we will begin.  Ah, those above Red clearance excepted, of course."

[BlueBard]

GM: By the silence, I assume there are no dissenters and that nobody's trying anything cute.

Everyone piles their things in reasonably seperate piles and complies with the docbot's orders.  You feel a bit silly standing around in your underwear.  Then blush, remembering that you didn't have a chance to change your underwear this morning.

The docbot moves to ArrMatee-R.  "Excuse me, Citizen; Are you right-handed or left-handed?"

The docbot repeats the question for Spyd-R, Blo-R, Numb-R, and Spam-R.

GM: Please answer the docbot in this thread.  PM me if you're being sneaky in some way.  If you do not respond at all, I will assume that you are right-handed and that's what you tell the docbot.