Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[Spam]

Assuming I'm still on the ground in utter misery, I start to drool whilst my left leg shalt start a series of twitches. Hopefully, someone will notice me in my little world of hurt, and disaster...

[Panther_Gunn]

While letting his fellow troubleshooter Numb proceed forward, Blo moves like a whilrwind, as he sees something that demands his attention.  "By the Computer, Citizen Spam, you're ...... *drooling* all over yourself!  Very untidy."  Blo will rotate Spam's head so that it's facing up, and out of that nasty puddle of liquid (while not getting any on himself, of course).  He will then proceed to clean the areas on poor, incapacitated Spam that it touched him with "cleaning materials" from his pack.  While he's busy cleaning, he notices the slack mouth where the offending material issued from.  "Definitely un-hygienic.  I'm sure I have *something* that will fix that."

[spoiler]The cleaning materials will be, of course, cleansing powder & scouring pads.[/spoiler]

Rooting around in his pack, he produces a scrubbing brush.  Blo loads it up with cleansing agent, stuffs it into that maw of uncleanliness, and begins to scrub vigorously, all the while whistling. (to the tune of "Whistle while you work")

[BlueBard]

Spam-R,

Yep, someone noticed your drooling.

Hence why Blo-R is vigorously scrubbing you with abrasive scouring pads and industrial-strength cleanser.  And decides to start cleaning out your mouth.

By the way, it's quite painful.  And tastes really bad.  You might want to snap out of it.

[gdaybloke]

Spyd shakes the metaphorical cobwebs from his head.

"Ah, look at that! How happy citizen Blo must be, being able to so actively fulfil his duties!"

[BlueBard]

The docbot notices Numb-R edging back from the others.

"Excuse me, Friend... Don't you want your protective shot so you don't get ill and infect the rest of the humans in the complex with some terrible disease?"

The docbot stops and considers that a moment.

"On the other hand, I certainly wouldn't wish to cause any harm to a human, and if the shot distresses you so much I'm not sure I could bring myself to administer it."

"Just give him the shot," Shoot-O growls impatiently.  "I'm not training a diseased clone.  If he gets the rest of the complex sick someone will blame me for it."

[Spam]

I wake out of my gazing snooze, only to awake to more pain... but in my mouth. Also, getting rubbed by scouring pads feels very... strange, but uncomfortable and mildly hurtful.. I get up off the floor (which was cleaned very nicely, if I do say so meself), and start to have a tantrum, screaming things that might be unintelligable, as my throat is burning like crap. I try to find anything with water in it so I can wash out my mouth...

[spoiler]and also something that I can take my revenge on.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

Spam-R,

You're in the infirmary, so there is a sink with a faucet on hand.

"This human seems to be having a psychological breakdown," the docbot comments.  "Perhaps a neurosis about being clean?  Maybe I should sedate it..."

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

The docbot notices Numb-R edging back from the others.

"Excuse me, Friend... Don't you want your protective shot so you don't get ill and infect the rest of the humans in the complex with some terrible disease?"

The docbot stops and considers that a moment.

"On the other hand, I certainly wouldn't wish to cause any harm to a human, and if the shot distresses you so much I'm not sure I could bring myself to administer it."

"Just give him the shot," Shoot-O growls impatiently.  "I'm not training a diseased clone.  If he gets the rest of the complex sick someone will blame me for it."

"I- Indeed" stutters Numb at this.  "I wouldn't want to be the cause of any illness among my fellow citizens.  I am... happy... to take one for the greater good" he continues unconvincingly.

[BlueBard]

Temporarily distracted from sedating Spam-R, the docbot gives Numb-R the necessary injection.

Numb-R's eyes roll back in his head and he slumps to the floor, unconscious.

"Oops," the docbot says.  "It would appear I got my injections mixed up.  Oh well, he looked like he could use the rest anyway.  I'll give him a stimulant to wake him up when you're ready to leave the infirmary."

The docbot then proceeds to give Numb-R the inoculation in his right arm.

"Your turn now, friend Blo-R!" the docbot chirps cheerily.

[BlueBard]

Actually, just to speed things up a bit, I'm going to assume that Blo-R gets his injection too.

So, each of you now has a numb, tingly sensation in your right arm and your manual dexterity is temporarily impaired.

You are all also feeling strangely optimistic about it (the LBF's starting to take effect now).

Numb-R is given yet another shot to wake him up and you are all ordered to get dressed.

Any final monkey business before you all leave the infirmary?

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Numb-R is given yet another shot to wake him up and you are all ordered to get dressed.

Any final monkey business before you all leave the infirmary?

"Er... yes, one last thing"  pipes up Numb, "This might seem like a... strange... thing to say but I couldn't help but notice from the pain that I appear to have been given two shots there."

Numb remains silent for a moment, waiting for the import of this announcement to sink in with the others.  Eventually, the lack of response force him to continue...

"I was er... how can I put this?  I was wondering whether it would be possible, as a favour, to... you know... give me one last shot for the road doc?  Please?"

[BlueBard]

Numb-R is given yet another shot to wake him up and you are all ordered to get dressed.

Any final monkey business before you all leave the infirmary?

"Er... yes, one last thing"  pipes up Numb, "This might seem like a... strange... thing to say but I couldn't help but notice from the pain that I appear to have been given two shots there."

Numb remains silent for a moment, waiting for the import of this announcement to sink in with the others.  Eventually, the lack of response force him to continue...

"I was er... how can I put this?  I was wondering whether it would be possible, as a favour, to... you know... give me one last shot for the road doc?  Please?"

"Certainly," the Docbot replies agreeably.  "What sort of shot do you want?"

OOG: For the record, Numb has gotten THREE shots so far.  One sedative by accident, one inoculation like everyone else got, and a third shot to wake him up after the sedative.  On top of that, he's taken the Little Black Friend pill given by Spyd-R the Happiness Officer to improve his mood.

[Viking]

ArrMatee is getting dressed as best he can, which is pretty hard when one of your arms is numb from the elbow down.  He occasionally tries to massage feeling back into his arm.

"Mark-S-Wellbot?" he inquires.  "I would like your advice on a hypothetical situation.  If, in the course of a Troubleshooting mission, one of my arms were to suddenly become numb and unresponsive, what treatment would you recommend in the field to counteract such a problem?  Parameters for this scenario are that I would not have access to a docbot, and could only rely on the assistance of my fellow Troubleshooters for treatment."

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee is getting dressed as best he can, which is pretty hard when one of your arms is numb from the elbow down.  He occasionally tries to massage feeling back into his arm.

"Mark-S-Wellbot?" he inquires.  "I would like your advice on a hypothetical situation.  If, in the course of a Troubleshooting mission, one of my arms were to suddenly become numb and unresponsive, what treatment would you recommend in the field to counteract such a problem?  Parameters for this scenario are that I would not have access to a docbot, and could only rely on the assistance of my fellow Troubleshooters for treatment."

"I would certainly recommend cybernetic replacement in advance.  Meat... I mean, organic limbs can be so undependable.  Wouldn't you agree?  I could start now if you'd like," it offers, raising its surgical chainsaw.

[Viking]

ArrMatee hastily responds in the negative.

"NO!  Arr.... Thank ye, but no.  'Twas a hypothetical scenario only, and our Team Leader wouldn't like it if I held up the mission by requestin' cybarrrnetic replacements."

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

"In that same spirit I feel I have had quite enough shots now, thank you very kindly Doc!"

[Panther_Gunn]

After getting re-dressed and strapping on all his gear, Blo prepares to take up his rear guard position once more, only to remember he's been slightly lacking in manners.  Turning around, Blo addresses the docbot, "Mark-S-Wellbot, thank you for so thoroughly looking after our health & well-being, all in the further glorious service to the Computer."  He reflexively extends his hand to shake....well, whatever passes for a hand on a docbot......only to realize too late that he's still strapped into the experimental exo-skeleton, with a less-than-fully resposive arm.

"*oops*.  I think I can fix that."

[Spam]

I try to get dressed as fastly as I clonely possibly can. I can only think about my rude awaking, and the still very painful and throbbing hurt in my throat. I feel like I can't talk, so I don't try. Also, my whole body is soar from those pads that were used to rubdown my entire body... Those things hurt! I grab my gear, and get ready for whatever is ahead of us... And also, that ceiling is looking very suspicious... I wonder if it and the floor are out to get me... Maybe they'll collapse when I don't suspect it. Those little tiles they spread out on the floor... those could actually turn into some sort of laser trap when I least suspect it, capturing me, putting me down under, wherever is under the floor! I try to leave the infirmary very fast and worried, hoping the floor won't kill me...

[BlueBard]

The heavy arm of the steam-powered exoskeleton lashes out, striking the docbot and knocking it over.

With a gasp of surprise and horror, all of you see the docbot's head bent at a peculiar angle.

"Oh {skiirrkkk!} my.  I see-see-seem to b-b-b-be dam-dam-damaagggg..."

[gdaybloke]

"What a wonderful opportunity for the complex's robo-mechanics to exercise their skills!", says Spyd as he backs toward the exit

[Viking]

ArrMatee is agape at the docbot's disfigurement.  He is also quite eager to leave, but is even more concerned about the reaction of the Team Leader.

[BlueBard]

Shoot-O and Watch-Y haven't quite gotten over the shock of it just yet...  Shoot-O's jaw dropped, but it looks like he's about to regain motor control any second now...

"AAAHHHH!"

Whoops, he just did.

[Viking]

ArrMatee makes darn sure that he is behind Citizen Blo - specifically, not in any line of fire that Shoot-O or Watch-Y may have on him.  This has the added advantage of not being in immediate range of Blo punching forward with a "friendly handshake."

How strange that I feel so optimistic about everything in this situation! he muses.  Those Little Infrared Friends really do work wonders!

Indeed - were it not for this wonderful chemically-induced Happiness that I am feeling, I would probably be running and shrieking in terror, instead of calmly doing this...

Everybody except Blo
[spoiler]ArrMatee draws his laser pistol, and is taking slow and careful aim at Blo's head from behind.  His right arm may be numb and unresponsive, but it can help steady the pistol.  He is not firing yet - He is lining up a clear shot, to help mitigate the difficulties involved in shooting with his off hand.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

GM: A number of things are probably going to happen very, very quickly and all at once.  Everybody declare your actions in a spoiler and I will resolve them.  Please do not make any assumptions that anything you're doing is successful or in any particular order.  Just tell me what you -intend- to do.

(Good call on the use of spoilers, BTW... I should have thought of that myself)

[Spam]

GM:

[spoiler]Since I don't know where everyone is, and since I'm not entirely sure I'm watching what's going on, I turn around to see what everyone else is doing. I then will hopefully see ArrMatee holding a lser pistol and pointing it at our fearless leader... Unfortunately, being the worried freak I am, I'll probably yell out "WATCH OUT!" or something to that extent, and dive for the nearest cover I can, while drawing my own pistol.[/spoiler]

[gdaybloke]

GM:
[spoiler]Spyd's trying to back out of the room, or failing that, behind cover[/spoiler]

[Viking]

GM:
[spoiler]My intended next action is to say, "Citizens Shoot-O-LOT and Watch-Y-BAK, what are your orders?"  After that, my intended action is to react accordingly.  If told to stand down, I do so.  If they indicate I should shoot, I do so.  (Of course, I realize that nobody has yet indicated whether they've actually loaded their laser pistol, let alone with which laser barrel...  I recognize that it is the Evil GM's discretion to decide what the status of my own laser pistol is.)[/spoiler]

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

GM:
[spoiler]I intend to back away so that I am not within the quadrilateral formed by Blo, ArMatee, and the two leaders and gently reprimand Blo for such clumsy behaviour, misuse of and damage to valuable Computer property.  However, I will be keeping an eye on the two leaders to try ensure that my words are going down well with them.  If I see that they are more concerned with ArMatee I will instead try to calmly ask him to put the gun down, we're all friends here, and all that.[/spoiler]

[Panther_Gunn]

GM:
[spoiler]Taking a hint from Shoot-O's reaction, he probably *doesn't* want me to attempt to repair the damage.  In his most officious, boot-licking tone of voice, he will announce:  "Right, getting back into line now, Citizen Shoot-O!"  Blo will then turn back around speedily, doing his best to focus on that task alone, eyes straight ahead, as any good little recruit should.  Whether the numbed arm, and it's attendant exo-skeleton, takes anyone else out along the way, remains to be seen.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

"Right, getting back into line now..." Blo-R begins saying as he turns around.  He stops short as he sees ArrMatee-R pointing a laser pistol at his head.

"Citizens Shoot--" ArrMatee begins to say.

"WATCH OUT!" screams Spam-R as he dives for cover, drawing his own laser pistol.  Spyd-R also dives for cover, while Numb-R backs away slowly.

Shoot-O's weapon is drawn with lightning speed, so fast the weapon almost seems to appear in his hand out of thin air.  He hesitates, apparently undecided as to who to shoot first.

Now what is everyone doing?