Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee, do you allow Blo to assist you?

[Viking]

ArrMatee's attention was drawn by the complaint of "THIS HURTS!" from Spam.  Having seen Spam holding a laser pistol to his head, pulling the trigger, and having no effect, this prompts an alarmed response from ArrMatee in his role as Equipment Guy, and he stops short of climbing into the steam-powered exoskeleton.

"PERMISSION REQUESTED TO RUN AN EQUIPMENT CHECK, TEAM LEADER!" he shouts out.  "SPAM'S LASER AND TRAINING HARNESS MAY BE MALFUNCTIONING!"

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee's attention was drawn by the complaint of "THIS HURTS!" from Spam.  Having seen Spam holding a laser pistol to his head, pulling the trigger, and having no effect, this prompts an alarmed response from ArrMatee in his role as Equipment Guy, and he stops short of climbing into the steam-powered exoskeleton.

"PERMISSION REQUESTED TO RUN AN EQUIPMENT CHECK, TEAM LEADER!" he shouts out.  "SPAM'S LASER AND TRAINING HARNESS MAY BE MALFUNCTIONING!"

Shoot-O grimaces and impatiently waves you over to check on Spam-R.

[Viking]

ArrMatee proceeds to check on Spam's laser pistol and training harness as best as he is able.  When Spam pulled the trigger, ArrMatee would have expected one of two things:

1) Spam would have ventilated his head with a laser beam; or
2) Spam would have gone into spasms of shock from the training harness.

ArrMatee checks first to see whether the laser pistol is properly loaded, and then whether the training harness is properly hooked up and wired together.

By way of reassurance to Spam, he helpfully calls out, "DON'T WORRY, SPAM!  THIS SHOULD HELP MAKE THE HURTING STOP!"

[BlueBard]

Well, the training harness doesn't cover his head and certainly not his ear.

A training laser just shoots a beam of intense, but non-lethal, light.  That wouldn't hurt him.

So the real question is, which type of barrel does he have on his pistol?  The barrels are absolutely identical; you'd have to fire it to find out.  All you can tell at the moment is that one charge has been used on Spam's barrel.

You can check out his harness if you like, though.

[Spam]

After nothing happening, I almost have a mental breakdown. Having ArMatee come over and do something with my equipment... I feel a bit estranged by, and start to cry...

[spoiler]Of course, if my blaster won't work, I'll pickpocket ArMatee's and point his, whcih I currently acquired, at my head to try again..[/spoiler]

[Viking]

I'll check the training harness to be certain that nothing's been tampered with.  However, seeing Spam burst into tears, and being rather certain that Spam has passed well beyond the point of mental breakdown, ArrMatee will be cautious for any sudden moves.  He'll also call out:

"HAPPINESS OFFICER!  CITIZEN SPAM IS IN DIRE NEED OF YOUR ASSISTANCE!"

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee,

Spam-R lunges for your laser pistol.  How do you react?

[gdaybloke]

Assuming that the current crisis has taken Shoot-O's immediate attention away from the PMB assault, Spyd grabs the first two bottles of pills he can lay his hands on, scans both quickly in the hope that one of them will do the job, and steps quickly to the side of Armatee and Spam.

"One of these should do the trick! Er..."

[Viking]

ArrMatee's reaction is to keep his good hand (i.e., his left one) firmly on the handle of the laser pistol.  He will then try to shoulder into Spam to knock him off balance and to the floor, with any luck, so that his medicine can be administered.

[BlueBard]

Spam-R successfully wrests ArrMatee's laser pistol away from ArrMatee, jams the barrel against his head and pulls the trigger...

And apparently ArrMatee had a live laser barrel attached.  Spam-R drops to the floor with a smoking hole in his head.  Ewwww.

What is everyone else doing?

[gdaybloke]

"Happy happy happy!"
(oh crap oh crap oh crap)

"Um... All praise the computer! Clearly this clone was a traitorous insurgent, and after witnessing the glory of the Troubleshooters under the tutelage of the esteemed Shoot-O, he realised the error of his ways, could not live with the shame of being a traitor, and thus shot himself in an effort to ensure that the rest of the team didn't have to do anything so inefficient as wasting their own charges! Yes! That's it!

"Now, I'll just take this smoking weapon and secure it, lest it fall into another traitor's hands..."

Spyd reaches to take the gun from Spam-R's unresisting hands.

[BlueBard]

Watch-Y radios in to HQ: "Ve need another Spam-R from clone storage, ya?  Schnell!"

Spam-R:

[spoiler]You awaken from cryosleep, having just been impressed with an engram transfer.  Your last memory is of getting jabbed with a needle by a docbot.

The Red level technician disconnects you and says, "There you go, Citizen.  Report to your team leader.  Have a nice lifecycle!"

You have no gear except a red jumpsuit; everything else is apparently still with your (ulp!) previous clone.[/spoiler]

[Spam]

I ask the technician where I'm supposed to head off to, and take my memory of the docbot with me... I think I remember the jabbing motion he gave me in my memory, but yet I don't feel anything...

When I arrive, I look at my former clone and take anything of importance. I then say to everyone around...

"Happy daycycle all! May we all serve the computer for all It's glory and wonderfulness!"

[Panther_Gunn]

[spoiler]How much of a mess did Spam make shooting himself in the head?  Was it a clean burn, instantly cauterized, or is there fluid & such spattered & leaking all over?[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

I ask the technician where I'm supposed to head off to, and take my memory of the docbot with me... I think I remember the jabbing motion he gave me in my memory, but yet I don't feel anything...

When I arrive, I look at my former clone and take anything of importance. I then say to everyone around...

"Happy daycycle all! May we all serve the computer for all It's glory and wonderfulness!"

It's going to take you a little while to rejoin the team; you aren't there just yet.

[BlueBard]

[spoiler]How much of a mess did Spam make shooting himself in the head?  Was it a clean burn, instantly cauterized, or is there fluid & such spattered & leaking all over?[/spoiler]

Blo-R:

The Computer likes lasers because they're very neat that way.

[Viking]

ArrMatee objects to Spyd reaching for his laser pistol.

"Arrrr!!!! That there be my laser pistol, Citizen Spyd!  Condemn the traitor, but not the tool!"

ArrMatee emphatically reaches forward to retrieve his laser pistol.

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee and Spyd wind up wrestling over the laser pistol; neither is able to wrest it from the other's grasp and, fortunately, nobody accidently fires it which might be very, very bad.

Someone want to yield?  Or do we enter the realm of dirty tricks?

[Viking]

If Spyd doesn't yield, then ArrMatee calls out:

"TEAM LEADER!  SPYD'S TRYIN' TO STEAL MY LASER PISTOL AND HOLD UP THE MISSION!"

[BlueBard]

Shoot-O shoots a dirty look at Watch-Y.

"Believe me, I'm not going to forget who assigned these, these -civilians- to me.  I'd have had better luck taking juniors out of the creche than with this bunch."

Shoot-O strides forward.

"AWRIGHT, BREAK IT UP!" he bellows.  "The next dipweed that interferes with the completion of this training mission is gonna be REAL sorry!  Understand?"

[Viking]

Presuming that Shoot-O's intervention allows him to get his laser back, ArrMatee will hastily scramble to get into the steam-powered exoskeleton.

[gdaybloke]

Spyd graciously offers to compose an impromptu sonnet in honour of Shoot-O's strong leadership, and flicks on the PMB in preparation...

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* At this point Numb awakens from his self-induced slumber.  Staggering only slightly as he gets to his feet. *

"I do apologise", he says to Shoot-O, "if my temporary unconsciousness in any way interfered with the training mission.  However, I do hope that the lessons learned from my accident will be incorporated by the lab boys in QA when building new and improved generations of machines; for the greater glory of the Computer."

[Panther_Gunn]

Seeing Spyd messing with the controls of the PMB, Blo sprints about 10' behind where the exoskeleton is standing, and does a duck & cover (with his hands covering his ears).  If he's lucky, there'll also be some large furniture inbetween them, as well, to help break up the sound waves.

[BlueBard]

OOC: Kind of waiting on Spyd... I don't know that he's surrendered the laser pistol and I don't know what he intends to do with the PMB.

[gdaybloke]

OOC: Kind of waiting for Shoot-O to say whether he'll accept my offer to compose an impromptu anthem

[Viking]

OOC: Is Spyd's decision of whether or not to surrender ArrMatee's laser pistol back to him contingent on Shoot-O accepting the impromptu anthem?  Right now, our Game Master seems to feel that both Spyd and ArrMatee are still grappling with one another over the laser pistol.

[gdaybloke]

OOC: SPyd relinquished control of the gun to turn on the PMB

[BlueBard]

OOC: SPyd relinquished control of the gun to turn on the PMB

Okay, by 'turn on', I assume you mean the same barrage of sound as before?  At what volume setting?  Or are you experimenting with some of the other 'features'?