Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[gdaybloke]

"But sir! The Armed Forces are good citizens! Any that would actually shoot US would be commie traitor scum! We have nothing to fear!"

[Panther_Gunn]

Grabbing an open box, Blo scurries for cover of the larger crates.  After getting himself behind relative safety, he lifts his head above (or around, if they're too tall) the crates, and addresses the horde of Commies and traitors across the wharehouse.  "Throw down your weapons and surrender, traitor scum.  If you don't, I will be forced to open fire on you with my highly-experimental Rapid Projectile Launcher!"

[BlueBard]

Well, the unarmed Citizens that might have scattered as a result of Blo's pronouncement were pretty much already scattered by Shoot-O's grenade.  That leaves the remaining traitors and AF grunts to react.

Spyd-R instinctively throws himself behind better cover as the grunts take aim with slugthrowers and lasers.

BANG! ZAP! ZAP! BANG! BANG! ZAP!

Blo manages to duck, but the large crate he's hiding behind is quickly chewed up by slugs and laser beams.  Only too late does it dawn on Blo that he's hiding behind the crate containing the cone rifle ammo...

BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone:  You wake up in an Engram-Transfer chair with a splitting headache.   Your last memory is being strapped into an Engram-Transfer chair by the docbot.  But you are not in the Infirmary and there is a human technician instead of a docbot.  Nor do you see the others.  Realization slowly dawns... You are an activated clone.

The technician releases you from the chair and tells you in a bored voice, "Report to Briefing Room UR50H053D for Mission Re-Boot."

[BlueBard]

GM: Based on events (ie Team Wipe), you are hereby directed to 'forget' everything that happened since you all left the Infirmary.  Because it never happened to 'you', but to your predecessor.  Nor do you at this point have any of the equipment you received previously.

Hey, life sucks when you're a clone, especially in Paranoia.  The only real bright spot is that your previously latent mutations are now active.  If you can call that a bright spot.

Let me assure you that I randomly rolled to see what was in the crate Blo was hiding behind and it came up Ka-Boom.  Who am I to argue with that?

Lest you think that we are basically starting over from scratch, let me assure you that we are not.  You will have to deal with the fact that you are an activated clone and that you are basically going to inherit whatever mess your prececessor(s) left you.  And it's a pretty big mess. {insert evil GM grin here}  You'll appreciate the irony when you get into the Mission Re-Briefing...

If there's anything you want to do before the Mission Re-Boot, post here or PM me.

(PS.  That especially means checking in with contacts or acquiring *ahem* non-standard issue gear before the Re-Boot...)

[BlueBard]

Everyone:

A loudspeaker blares, startling you.

"Attention [Insert Your Name Here]!  Please report to Briefing Room UR50H053D without delay!"

[gdaybloke]

"Crap", thinks Spyd-R-Man 2 to himself. "What the heck was number 1 up to?"

Spyd2 slides out of the chair and wanders to the door, wondering which way the briefing room is and whether he'll get the chance to check in with this superiors on the way.

[BlueBard]

Spyd:

Naturally, you remember the various side-assignments you were given, since the engram transfer happened afterward.  What you don't know is what happened to your predecessor during the Training exercises.  Perhaps some discrete inquiry before or after the Mission Re-Boot?

[BlueBard]

In the absence of a lot of activity, I'm moving forward... If there's anything you wanted to do, we can handle it retroactively.

Spyd-R, Blo-R, and Numb-R, you arrive at the briefing room more or less at the same time.  Shoot-O is waiting for you.  The room is completely empty, save for a Computer Terminal.  There are no chairs except the one Shoot-O is sitting in.

"Have a seat, Recruits, while we're waiting for the other two to show up."

Nervously, you sit down on the floor.

After a few minutes, with Shoot-O getting visibly more impatient but saying nothing, you hear a commotion outside the door of the briefing room.  The door opens.  Spam-R is escorted inside by a pair of Security Bots.

"No-no-no!  Don't make me go!  They're trying to kill me, I tell you!  They're insane!  Especially that Shoot-O guy!  He --"

Spam-R suddenly notices where he is and who is there.  He falls silent.  The Security Bots dump him on the floor and quietly take positions just inside the door.

Shoot-O pulls out a Com unit.  "Dispatch a pair of SecBots to locate ArrMatee-R," he barks into the com.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Numb-R 2 seems to be VERY disconcerted at this current state of affairs, rocking back and forward slightly and muttering something under his breath about truth being an odd number...

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee-R rushes in.

"About time!" Shoot-O growls.

[Viking]

ArrMatee salutes sharply.

"Sorry, sir!  Won't happen again sir!  Ready for Mission Re-Briefing, sir!"

[BlueBard]

Shoot-O glares at everyone for a moment to make sure they're paying attention, then continues.

"Due to a state of emergency, the training program has been canceled--"

"Yay!" Spam-R interrupts.

"QUIET!" Shoot-O thunders.  "As of right now, you are all drafted into the ranks of the Troubleshooters.  You have a new assignment.  A short time ago, all power was lost in a large portion of DTH sector.  Also, every battery-powered device in the area was simultaneously disabled.  Troubleshooter HQ has reason to believe that some sort of nuclear device was detonated and that a massive EM pulse caused the power loss.  Reports from Armed Forces personnel sent in to repel a possible Commie invasion indicate massive damage and lots of fires."

"Armed Forces is handling the military operations along with every available Troubleshooter team.  It is vital that power be restored to the area and that is where you clones come in."

"You are hereby directed to escort a member of Power Services into the danger zone so that they can effect repairs.  Spyd-R?  You have been assigned as Team Leader."

Shoot-O hands Spyd-R a sealed envelope.  "Here are your confidential orders.  Get your team outfitted and meet back here ASAP.  MOVE!!!"

[Viking]

ArrMatee-R returns a sharp salute to Shoot-O, followed by another salute to Spyd-R.

"Orders, Team Leader?" he asks.

[BlueBard]

Spyd-R is apparently in shock and delirious joy over his appointment as Team Leader...

[gdaybloke]

"Everyone! Stand at attention while I read the orders! Anyone not doing so will be shot!"

[Viking]

ArrMatee briefly falls at ease, so that he can make a show of coming to attention as Spyd-R reads the orders.  Which he will do as soon as Spyd-R starts reading the orders.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

With the weight of the world seemingly on his shoulders, Numb doesn't exactly snap to attention, although he does get there.

[BlueBard]

Spyd-R gives what he hopes is an intimidating glare and breaks the seal on the envelope.

A tinny voice advises in monotone, "This message will self-destruct in sixty seconds... fifty seconds... forty seconds..."

Spyd-R frantically pulls out a stapled document and reads as fast as he can.

Spyd-R:
[spoiler]

Mission Objectives:

1. Obtain necessary equipment for successful completion of mission from local PLC Depot.  Emergency authorization form attached.

2. Escort Elec-O-RIC of Power Services as he effects repairs to the DTH sector power grid.

3. Terminate any traitors you encounter along the way.

4. Troubleshooter ArrMatee-R is suspected of treasonous acts.  Keep an eye on him.

Below this is a handwritten addition:

5. Experimental Mutant Detector believed to be lost in target area.  Retrieve and return to Briefing Officer Shoot-O-LOT.

[/spoiler]

"twenty seconds..."

[Viking]

So as to show that he is paying attention, ArrMatee scoots to the back of the room as fast as he can, behind other Troubleshooters.  He generally finds this advisable when anything helpfully announces that it will "self-destruct."

[gdaybloke]

"I don't believe I told you to step back, ArrMatee! Here, hold this while we all head to PLC!"

(*Spyd tosses the  document at ArrMatee*)

"Follow me, troops! Armatee, bring up the rear! Hut hut hut!"

(*Spyd trots out of the room at a brisk pace, heading a direction that he hopes will lead him to PLC*)

[BlueBard]

"tennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwoone!"

The document lands at ArrMatee's feet and bursts into flames.

Spyd-R:
[spoiler]It is at this moment you realize that the Emergency Requisition Authorization form was stapled to the document that just incinerated itself...[/spoiler]

(GM: Reactions to this would be good...  Helps me decide whether to progress the plot or further complicate the Troubleshooters' lives...)

[BlueBard]

"AHHH! Fire!" screams Spam-R like a little girl.  He starts running in little circles and frantically waving his arms in the air.

(GM: I just threw that one in there for entertainment...)

[Viking]

ArrMatee rolls his eyes.

If any portion of the documents looks like it might be salvageable, he does a Stop, Drop and Roll over the documents to put out the fire, and then retrieves them.  Otherwise, he waits to bring up the rear.

[BlueBard]

ArrMatee rolls his eyes.

If any portion of the documents looks like it might be salvageable, he does a Stop, Drop and Roll over the documents to put out the fire, and then retrieves them.  Otherwise, he waits to bring up the rear.

No.  Uh, uh.  Whatever caused the documents to go up in flames, it was thorough enough to leave nothing but smoke, some ashes, and a cinder-darkened stain on the floor tile.  Good thing this area wasn't carpeted...

Shoot-O has left the room through the opposite door marked 'Authorized Personnel Only'.

Spam-R slowly gets control of himself.  Spyd-R is on the other side of the main door; not sure whether he's waiting to see if anyone's following him or not.  Numb-R appears to be unwilling to be next out the door, and ArrMatee is patiently waiting to 'bring up the rear'.

What's Blo-R doing?

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

"Our glorious leader has just immolated our Emergency Requisition Authorization Form?", enquires Numb in a listless monotone, "Not being leadership material I'm not seeing how this strategy will play out to our advantage."

[BlueBard]

"Our glorious leader has just immolated our Emergency Requisition Authorization Form?", enquires Numb in a listless monotone, "Not being leadership material I'm not seeing how this strategy will play out to our advantage."

Ahem.  That was in a Spoiler addressed to Spyd-R.  Numb-R isn't supposed to know that.  By what horrifying unregistered mutation is Numb-R aware of this fact?

:huh:

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Ahem.  That was in a Spoiler addressed to Spyd-R.  Numb-R isn't supposed to know that.  By what horrifying unregistered mutation is Numb-R aware of this fact?

:huh:

Oh crap.  I was multi-tasking, or at least attempting to, at the time of that last post.  I'm not a traitorous mutant, honest!

[Panther_Gunn]

"Follow me, troops! Armatee, bring up the rear! Hut hut hut!"

Blo-R complies with this very lawful order, in a very snappy manner (not wanting to be any closer to the impending "self-destruct" than necessary).

"It sounds to me as if Citizen Numb-R is already attempting to question your obviously flawless command, Team Leader.  Definitely the treasonous act of a traitor."

[Viking]

"Come, come, fellow Troubleshooters," advises ArrMatee.  "We mustn't waste time grumbling.  And remember that Happiness is Mandatory!  Let us cheerfully follow our Fearless Leader to the comforting lines of PLC!  As an added bonus, the next person in line will get my assistance in filling out their requisitions paperwork!"

[BlueBard]

I -could- be an evil GM and have Spam-R jump into line at this point...  but for the sake of moving things along, I will assume that Numb-R follows Blo-R and Spam-R follows Numb-R.

You've all been to the PLC Depot before, so you find it again fairly easily.  Except this time the depot is dark and empty except for PLC clerks holding flashlights in one hand and flamethrowers in the other.  It's hard to tell from the lighting, but they seem to regard you with suspicion as you approach the counter.  The same clerk you dealt with before is there.

Before anyone can say anything, she says, "Sorry, can't help you.  Power's out.  Come back later."