Paranoia: My Name is Troubleshooter

[Viking]

From the back of the line, ArrMatee helpfully calls out:

"Team Leader?  Do you want me to try to requisition equipment on the team's behalf?  I have some experience working with PLC, sir!"

[BlueBard]

I -could- be an evil GM and have Spam-R jump into line at this point...  but for the sake of moving things along, I will assume that Numb-R follows Blo-R and Spam-R follows Numb-R.

You've all been to the PLC Depot before, so you find it again fairly easily.  Except this time the depot is dark and empty except for PLC clerks holding flashlights in one hand and flamethrowers in the other.  It's hard to tell from the lighting, but they seem to regard you with suspicion as you approach the counter.  The same clerk you dealt with before is there.

Before anyone can say anything, she says, "Sorry, can't help you.  Power's out.  Come back later."

You guys are, ah, supposed to react to that.  Brownnose.  Fast-talk.  Bribery.  Whimper like a little girl.  Something.

(Ninja'd)

[Panther_Gunn]

Before anyone can say anything, she says, "Sorry, can't help you.  Power's out.  Come back later."

"Team Leader, did we not receive orders from the Computer to come here and requisition necessary equipment for an important mission?  This Citizen seems to either not care what the Computer wants, or thinks she knows better than the Computer.  Either sounds very treasonous to me, Team Leader.  Perhaps we should report back to Citizen Shoot-O-LOT that there may be Commies firmly entrenched in the PLC."

[BlueBard]

"Sez the needy Troubleshooter who isn't armed," the clerk replies snidely.  "Let me see the authorization form."

[Viking]

Since the Team Leader (and the rest of the Team) seems to be dithering, ArrMatee will sigh briefly before putting on his Bright Happy Super Cheerful Face and stepping out from behind his Teammates.  He then slowly walks forward towards the PLC Requisitions desk, both of his hands open in the universal sign for, "Please Realize That I Am A Harmless Unarmed Clone, And You Have Nothing To Lose By Listening To What I Have To Say."

"Thank you for your permission to approach the PLC desk, Team Leader!" calls out ArrMatee over his shoulder.  "For silence is consent, as they say!"

He turns his attention to the PLC clerk, rapidly explaining the situation.

"As you can see, we do not seem to have any Authorization Forms on hand.  Naturally, we will be happy to fill out the necessary Requisition Forms for our Mission Equipment.  That said, there are several good reasons for you to approve our valid Requisitions!"

"Firstly - our Primary Mission is to escort a member of Power Services into dangerous territory so that he may bravely effect repairs and restore power.  Thus, authorizing our Equipment Requests should result in a direct benefit to you!"

"Secondly - as our Team Leader may attest, any 'theoretical' Emergency Authorizations that we might have been given were part of a secret set of orders that only our Team Leader was entrusted with.  Even I was not allowed to read them, as they self-destructed quite impressively as soon as our Team Leader finished reading them!  Such security measures are clearly an indication of the grave importance and delicate nature of our work - these orders must come from really, really high up!"

As ArrMatee nears the Requisitions Desk, his voice will lower, as it is no longer necessary to loudly call out to be heard...

GM
[spoiler]"Thirdly - I'm sure you recognize us, right?  Obviously, we don't have equipment to turn in for our last Mission.  Which means that you get to collect the fines for all of it.  Which will be made all the easier when power is restored via our Mission.  Not a bad position for you, eh?  Plus, if you're a gambling sort, our track record suggests that we won't survive to return our equipment from this Mission, either!  Which means that you'll be able to collect even more fines from our next clones."

"Finally - you were such a great help to me the last time I was here Requisitioning equipment.  Help us out, and why don't you put in a nice Requisition for yourself for whatever you might like?  I'll take care of having it signed for, so it's all good, arr?"[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

The clerk stares at ArrMatee for a moment.  Then mutters back in low tones, to keep the conversation between ArrMatee and herself.

ArrMatee:
[spoiler]"Hm.  Interesting points you have there, Troubleshooter.  Tell you what... I can't find anything back there because the inventory system is down.  But I'll let you crack open a few boxes and crates.  Whatever you find you can take, as long as you sign for it and it isn't stuff that'll get me terminated.  Deal?"[/spoiler]

ArrMatee, also sending you a PM you should read.

[Viking]

GM:
[spoiler]ArrMatee recognizes the best deal he's likely to get when he sees it.

"Deal," he responds with a winning smile.  "But two provisos - I'd like to get some idea of what you're getting for yourself.  To, ah... facilitate further mutually beneficial dealings here at PLC.  And it's clear that you clones know where the flashlights and flamethrowers are.  So even though the inventory system is down, I'd appreciate pointers on what you know about where stuff is.[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

The clerk gives ArrMatee a hard look.

"Sorry, you're on your own Troubleshooter," she replies aloud.  "If you don't like the situation, go see R&D.  I hear they're still issuing gear to anyone crazy enough to take it."

[Viking]

GM:
[spoiler]"Fine, Deal.  You win."[/spoiler]

[BlueBard]

The clerk smiles at the team.

"It's your lucky day, Citizens!  You get to see the inside of a PLC warehouse and go on a shopping spree!"

She waves to the other clerks, the ones with flamethrowers.  "Trig-R?  Bug-R?  Can you show these nice Citizens where the crowbars are and help them fill out their requisition forms properly?"

After opening a number of boxes and crates under the watchful eyes of Trig-R and Bug-R, the team finds the following stuff (clearance level in parentheses):

40 Tangler Grenades (Red)
2 Chainsaws (Indigo)
5 Folding Shovels (Yellow)
25 Laser Barrels (Red)
5 Laser Rifles (Orange)
10 Geiger Counters (Blue)
20 Stun Grenades (Orange)
10 Smoke Alarms (Red)
100 Handcuffs (Blue)
40 Rolls of Film for Camera (Green)
1 Camera (Yellow)
50 Boxes of Matches, 25 ea (Green)
100 Pamphlets of Communist Propaganda (Treasonous!)
100 Rolls of Dental Floss (Orange)
50 Rounds of Slugthrower Ammo (Yellow)
10 Happiness Energy Bars (Red)
100 "I Heart Computer" keychains (Red)
5 Bicycles, Assembly Required (Indigo)
50 Hiking Boots, Right (Blue)
10 Rounds of Cone Rifle Ammo (Blue)
1 Type IV Com Unit (Indigo)  Note: This is bulky, about the size and weight of a brick
1 One Man Tent (Blue)
20 Bullhorns (Red)
5 Portable Stoves (Green)
50 Rounds of Tangler Gun Ammo (Green)
100 Tear Gas Grenades (Orange)
5 Suits of Kevlar Armor (Red)
100 Meters of Bubble Wrap (Yellow)
250 Bags of Algae Chips (Red)
500 Autographed Teela-O Plasticups
1 Shielded Field Telephone (Orange)
10 Flashlights (Red)
10 Rolls of Duct Tape

Now, keeping in mind you don't have any backpacks, how much of this stuff do you actually want to carry in your pockets and on your persons?

Also, please note that the clerks didn't take a good look at the pamphlets... yet.

[Panther_Gunn]

"What sort of supplies are we going to need for our very important mission for the almighty Computer, Team Leader?"

GM: [spoiler]How much of a blind eye do the PLC clerks seem to be willing to turn about higher clearance level items?  Is it just the Red level assistants that have come into the back with us?  No real plans to ask them about it outright, just wondering what kind of body language and non-verbal cues we may have picked up from them while opening all of the boxes (or even any outright comments; "Oh, Chainsaws....too bad you can't have them.")[/spoiler]

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Numb sifts through the available items, all the while trying to wait and see what everyone else is taking.  For the moment he grabs:

1 Happiness Energy Bar (Red)
1"I Heart Computer" keychain (Red)
1 Suit of Kevlar Armor (Red)
3 Bags of Algae Chips (Red)
1 Flashlight (Red)

But he continues perusing and eying up the other merchandise...

[Viking]

ArrMatee helpfully notes the following:

"We still need to requisition this stuff, fellow Teammates.  Anything that we'd like to requisition beyond our Security Clearance still needs to be approved by the PLC clerk who so graciously allowed us in here."

For the moment ArrMatee grabs:

2 Happiness Energy Bars (Red)
1 "I Heart Computer" keychain (Red)
1 Suit of Kevlar Armor (Red)
1 Flashlight (Red)
1 Bag of Algae Chips (Red)
1 Roll of Duct Tape (No listed security clearance)
2 Tangler Grenades (Red)
1 Crowbar (since we've clearly had them made available for opening crates, ArrMatee wants to try to requisition one)

"For our glorious Team Leader's approval, I would also suggest that we attempt to requisition a Laser Rifle each, two Red Laser barrels apiece, and a Stun and Tear Gas Grenade apiece, in anticipation of hostile chaos on our upcoming mission."

[BlueBard]

Blo-R (and others),

About the only observable reaction from the PLC clerks who were watching you was when you found the bubble wrap and the duct tape.

("Ooohh!  Bubble wrap!"  "Neat!  Duct tape!")

Aside from that, they're keeping straight faces.

[BlueBard]

GM: G'Day seems to be incommunicado, so I'm assuming control of Spyd-R temporarily to move things along.

"Good suggestion," Spyd-R nods to ArrMatee-R.  "Blo-R and Numb-R, go ahead and request the laser rifles and the other stuff our Equipment Guy has suggested."  He then turns to Arr-Matee.  "As the Equipment Guy, I really think you would find it more interesting to visit R&D for the really advanced gear.  You won't be able to lug around that stuff and a bulky laser rifle, so you should probably hold off on that.  The grenades, too.  You'll need your pockets free for tools and such."

To Spam-R he says, "You really need to work on your happiness skills, Citizen.  You'd better take a few Happiness energy bars.  I'm sorry I can't medicate you appropriately, but those should help.  Get yourself a keychain, too.  Oh, and a meter or so of bubble wrap.  That's always good for morale.  And you'd better request that field telephone, we might need it.  Since we don't have any backpacks I'm designating you as the, uh, Team Carrier.  You'll have to carry the stuff the rest of us can't hold.  You won't have room for anything bulky, I'm afraid, so don't take anything else."

"As for me," he continues, "I think I'll take a laser rifle, a couple of laser barrels, a suit of that kevlar, a half-dozen Happiness energy bars, a couple of stun grenades, one of those keychains... oh, and that camera... and film, of course.  A flashlight.  A bullhorn.  Oh yes, a roll of the duct tape.  And I'd better have Spam-R carry along an extra five meters of bubble wrap for team morale.  That should do it!" he concludes brightly.

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

"Good suggestion," Spyd-R nods to ArrMatee-R.  "Blo-R and Numb-R, go ahead and request the laser rifles and the other stuff our Equipment Guy has suggested." 

"Yes sir!" replies Numb, adopting the military fashion, "however, might I suggest that his suggestion to take two laser barrrels apiece seems abitrary and insufficient for our needs?  If you ask me, we would be best served with three laser barrrels each."

[Viking]

ArrMatee raises an eyebrow at the Team Leader's suggestion that he go entirely without armament, but says nothing.  In the spirit of cooperation, he does not requisition a Laser Rifle, as that would be bulky without  a backpack to store various items.

He will still attempt to requisition:

2 Happiness Energy Bars (Red)
1 "I Heart Computer" keychain (Red)
1 Suit of Kevlar Armor (Red)
1 Flashlight (Red)
1 Bag of Algae Chips (Red)
1 Roll of Duct Tape (No listed security clearance)
2 Tangler Grenades (Red)
3 Red Laser Barrels (Red)
1 Tear Gas Grenade (Orange)
1 Stun Grenade (Orange)
1 Roll of Dental Floss (Orange)
1 Crowbar

[BlueBard]

"Yes sir!" replies Numb, adopting the military fashion, "however, might I suggest that his suggestion to take two laser barrrels apiece seems abitrary and insufficient for our needs?  If you ask me, we would be best served with three laser barrrels each."

"Excellent suggestion, Troubleshooter," Spyd-R replies.  He favors ArrMatee-R with a withering glance.  "I'm surprised our Equipment Guy didn't think of that.  In fact, get four.  That will give us 24 shots each.  You can always tuck a couple into your boots."

GM: I still need Blo-R's requisition list ASAP... or the Team Leader will simply assign him stuff.  If G'Day pops in he can change whatever he wants.  I want to get out of the re-equipping grind as soon as I can.  TPE, was there anything else you were going to get besides the stuff on your list and the suggested laser rifle and barrels?

[Viking]

ArrMatee reflects the withering glance with a sunny, cheerful grin.  "I was merely deferring on the issue of proper armaments to your superior intellect, Oh Glorious Team Leader!"

[Panther_Gunn]

ooc:  *grumbles something about intentions of posting and bad memory*

ic:

Blo-R intends to requisition the following supplies:

1 Tangler Grenade (Red)
4 Laser Barrels (Red)
1 Laser Rifle (Orange)
2 Stun Grenades (Orange)
1 Roll of Dental Floss (Orange)
5 "I Heart Computer" keychains (Red)
2 Tear Gas Grenades (Orange)
1 Suit of Kevlar Armor (Red)
2 Bags of Algae Chips (Red)
5 Autographed Teela-O Plasticups
1 Flashlight (Red)
1 Roll of Duct Tape

"I was planning on requisitioning some of the Happiness Energy Bars, but our wise Team Leader seems to want most for himself, with most of the rest going to Spam-R. I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

"Team Leader, I have a couple of suggestions, equipment-wise, for the newly appointed Team Carrier.  He should requisition many more of the keychains, that he can then hook to straps & buckles on his jumpsuit & boots, and thereby carry more equpiment hooked to them.  Also, I suggest that he carry an Autographed Teela-O Plasticup, filled with water, in the event we need to clean or dampen anything during the mission, since we have no thermoses."

GM:  How is the Clearance Level marked for each item?  Is it stenciled on the box/crate, color coded on the container, or is it just information we kind of know, or is passed along by the PLC flunkies?

[BlueBard]

"Team Leader, I have a couple of suggestions, equipment-wise, for the newly appointed Team Carrier.  He should requisition many more of the keychains, that he can then hook to straps & buckles on his jumpsuit & boots, and thereby carry more equpiment hooked to them.  Also, I suggest that he carry an Autographed Teela-O Plasticup, filled with water, in the event we need to clean or dampen anything during the mission, since we have no thermoses."

"Good suggestion, Blo-R!" Spyd-R says.  Spam-R moans unhappily.

GM:  How is the Clearance Level marked for each item?  Is it stenciled on the box/crate, color coded on the container, or is it just information we kind of know, or is passed along by the PLC flunkies?

Most equipment is color-coded somehow.  Clearance level isn't marked directly on the boxes, as that information would facilitate theft of high-security items (and make things way too easy for you!).  You are probably aware of the security clearance level of most common items.  In the event that the equipment you select isn't color-coded, the clerks will inform you if you are not cleared for it.

Everyone,
The clerks are unusually magnanimous about letting you have your requested gear without argument or excessive paperwork.  Pockets, boots, and jumpsuits tucked full of gear, you are ready to set out.  Spam-R is practically covered with keychains from which dangle anything and everything that can be clipped to them, including grenades and plasticups stuffed with energy bars and bags of algae chips.  He's carrying most of Spyd-R's gear (Let me know if you're foisting any of your stuff off on Spam-R) while trying to hang on to a large roll of bubble wrap.

"Let's stop off at R&D real quick," Spyd-R says.  "I just know Friend ArrMatee-R will be dying to get his hands on some of that high-tech.  Here we go!  Hup! Two-Three-Four..."

Along the way, he occasionally stops the team to take a photo.  ("This will be great for boosting Citizen morale!")

You wind up back at R&D, which appears to have power and lighting.  Murph-Y and Crash-R are there to greet you.

"Oh, good!" Murph-Y beams.  "More test volunteers!  What is your mission, Troubleshooters?"

Spyd-R motions for ArrMatee-R to do the talking.

[Viking]

ArrMatee launches into a Mission Summary whilst exercising his budding Bootlicking skills...

"Oh Illustrious and Most Brilliant Murph-Y, without whom I'm sure that R&D could barely function, if even that, our Mission is to escort a member of Power Services into a dangerous section of DTH Sector to restore power to that area."

"Because of the lack of power in that sector, numerous fires and massive damage has been reported.  Armed Forces have been dispatched in, well... force, as it is believed that a nuclear device was detonated, thus resulting in the power loss."

"And so, while DTH Sector has brute force aplenty, it lacks the presence of forward-thinking, life-altering R&D ingenuity to solve these problems!  We come seeking useful inventions to field-test in the pursuit of this Mission!"

ArrMatee proceeds to begin a series of bizarre neck, finger, and arm stretches, speaking as he does so.

"Please pardon my multi-tasking, brilliant Citizens Murph-Y and Spyd-R.  But Team Leader Spyd-R has indicated that I shall be handling most of the R&D issued items for this Mission.  Seeing as how noble Team Carrier Spam-R is carrying so much PLC equipment, I estimate that I should engage in these warm-up exercises before carrying so many anticipated valuable R&D inventions!"

[BlueBard]

"How delightful!" Murph-Y replies happily.  "It's rare I find such enlightened enthusiasm among the ranks; ah, no offense intended.  I'm sure I can help you," he affirms.

"Crash-R, go get out the spare Portable Morale Booster.  It sounds like your team could really use encouragement on such a difficult and stressful mission, and we never got a report on the effectiveness of the first one."

"The Portable Morale Booster?" Crash-R says.  "What spare?"

"You know... the prototype!  Go, go!"  Crash-R scurries off.

Murph-Y turns back to ArrMatee-R.  "I need some idea as to the kinds of field tests that will be possible.  What sorts of difficulties do you believe you'll encounter, Troubleshooter?"

[Viking]

"Absolutely, Enlightened Citizen Murph-Y!" exclaims ArrMatee, cracking his knuckles in a finger-stretch.

"Firstly, our Mission Briefing reported that all battery-powered devices in the Sector stopped functioning at the time of the power outage.  In the following chaos, I imagine that subversive Commie traitors have armed themselves with non-battery-powered weapons like slugthrowers and grenades, or worse!"

"Secondly - a nuclear device is suspected as being responsible for the power outage - means of shielding someone from hazardous radiation would be welcome!"

ArrMatee proceeds into neck rotations as he continues.

"Thirdly - multiple fires have been reported in the danger zone.  Means of extinguishing fires would be quite helpful!"

"Fourthly - due to the particular invigorating challenges provided by our provisioning, our Equipment Guy is presently without tools to service equipment breakdowns in the field, or a means of carrying them, or a means of defending himself if forced to effect repairs in a combat situation.  Has R&D put its staggering intellect towards solving this connundrum yet?"

"Fifthly - I note that while my fellow Troubleshooters have both laser rifles and flashlights, it will be most difficult for them to effectively handle both should a battle ensue!  It seems to me like they could benefit from an extra set of hands.  I point this out specifically because I do not want to selfishly hoard all of the amazing R&D field-testing to myself, and charitably want to share it with my enthusiastic fellow Troubleshooters!"

"Finally - I am sure that my clever and insightful fellow Troubleshooters will be able to think of additional hazards that I have not yet covered.  Numb-R and Blo-R have both shown themselves to be particularly thoughtful so far, so I would welcome their particular input."

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

"Excellent suggestion, Troubleshooter," Spyd-R replies.  He favors ArrMatee-R with a withering glance.  "I'm surprised our Equipment Guy didn't think of that.  In fact, get four.  That will give us 24 shots each.  You can always tuck a couple into your boots."

Numb smiles with smug satisfaction at Spyd's initial comment, then seems to catch himself as he continues.  Gathering himself, Numb replies,  "I... I see where your'e going with this and there is merit in the argument that more is more.  With that in mind, and considering that there are in fact 25 laser sights available, I suggest that I take the last spare one, thereby ensuring that the group has a much more satisfactary total of 25 shots at its disposal." 

[Viking]

It suddenly dawns on ArrMatee that his fellow Troubleshooter Numb-R has made a certain accounting error.  In the spirit of helpfulness, ArrMatee whispers some info to him, rather than openly mocking the mistake:

Numb-R
[spoiler]"Psst!  Laser barrels typically have six shots each!  Taking all 25 laser barrels would result in total firepower of 150 shots altogether!  Just so ya know, arr?"[/spoiler]

Meanwhile, as he further puts his mind to the task of contemplating challenges that R&D might lend its inventions to, ArrMatee has another thought:

"Ah!  Citizen Murph-Y!  It occurs to me that in the danger zone, several valuable R&D inventions may have been abandoned in the chaos of darkness.  Though I have not been informed of any specific Mission Directives by our Team Leader, it would seem that a conceivable "Bonus Directive" would be to retrieve any R&D inventions that we come across.  Though, in order to do that, this would require some means of recognizing or detecting any R&D items in the vicinity.  Might R&D have any inventions that would be useful in tracking down other R&D inventions?"

[Panther_Gunn]

"Crash-R, go get out the spare Portable Morale Booster.  It sounds like your team could really use encouragement on such a difficult and stressful mission, and we never got a report on the effectiveness of the first one."

"The Portable Morale Booster?" Crash-R says.  "What spare?"

"You know... the prototype!  Go, go!"  Crash-R scurries off.

Once ArrMatee finishes his apparent attempts to stroke the ego of the R&D guy, Blo-R will raise his hand tentatively, "Um, excuse me, Citizen Murph-Y?  Wouldn't taking such a valuable piece of Computer property such as the only prototype to the Portable Morale Booster into the face of unknown dangers be a bad idea?  Should anything bad happen to it during the mission, would that not set R&D back years in it's research?  Worse, since there is suspiscion of Commie Traitors in the area, wouldn't letting it fall into their hands be devastating, indeed?  Perhaps it should be left here, so that it can be used to create a new field replacement, that can then be tested in full."

[BlueBard]

Murph-Y replies to Blo-R, "Well, no.  The prototype is an alpha version of the beta version that your team lost.  The Computer, Glorious and Mighty are its' Processors, has the plans for the beta version on file.  The alpha version is practically identical, so we can field test a lot of the functionality.  About the only thing we couldn't get to work the way we wanted on the prototype is the AutoFun feature.  We'll retest that when we rebuild the beta."

[BlueBard]

Murph-Y turns to ArrMatee-R.

"Well, now.  Your suggestion of an R&D Tracker device has some merit, Citizen.  We'll have to think about that one.  We don't have any such thing in development as of yet.  Good thought, though.  I can see why you're a Troubleshooter!"

"As to your other problems..."

"I think we have just the thing for your field repair issues.  I'll go get it myself!"

Murph-Y leaves the room momentarily.

[BlueBard]

(Nobody took advantage of the fact that both R&D guys were out of the room??? Shocking lapse of Opportunism...)

Murph-y comes back and hands ArrMatee a small pouch suitable for attaching to a belt.

"There you are!  A six-pack of Nano-Tool!  That should supply your field repair needs."