Tomato's Army

[Tomato]

[02:31] mrheadmrsmaster: lol i was about to ask why you were on rather late
[02:31] mrheadmrsmaster: till i realized tomorrow's saturday XD
[02:32] JPisTomato: I was actually on late yesterday too...
[02:33] JPisTomato: the main computer is rather delicate right now, so we're running most of our internet-related stuff through my computer
[02:34] JPisTomato: I'm actually in bed at this very moment just chillin' and keeping an eye on torrent downloads
[02:34] mrheadmrsmaster: looooooooooool
[02:35] JPisTomato: apparently bittorent has merged with utorrent though O.-
[02:36] JPisTomato: Used to use utorrent, but it started lagging on my pc because of the router so I switched to the older bittorent... but going through the process of fixing a virus insanity it got taken out
[02:37] JPisTomato: so I downloaded a new copy, installed it and... utorrent popped up
[02:38] JPisTomato: same interface, same setting list, same fin graphics
[02:38] mrheadmrsmaster: o_O that's mysterious
[02:38] JPisTomato: EXCEPT it says "bittorrent" now
[02:40] JPisTomato: which is fine, it's going faster then it did with old bittorent, and the utorrent has a better interface anyway (which is sort of like saying Bill gates is richer then a homeless dude, FYI) it's just... odd
[02:40] mrheadmrsmaster: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
[02:41] JPisTomato: didI tell you about the homeless dudes thing?
[02:41] mrheadmrsmaster: no...?
[02:42] JPisTomato: Ok, while I was still working at the subway frm hell, we had this big homeless dude who would come in and beg and such...
[02:44] JPisTomato: not like pity begging, more like "Dude, I'm big, and homeless. give me money"
[02:46] JPisTomato: And, because I am that weak, I'd give him money... more just to get him to go away then anything (You can think me judgemental for that, but he flat out admitted it was for drugs)
[02:47] JPisTomato: But he kept saying "I'll pay you back man, I'll pay you back" (AHAHAHAHAHAHA) until finally, one day close to when I left sub hell, he pulled me aside
[02:48] JPisTomato: He then proceeded to tell me that while he couldn't pay me back because his man wasn't in the area (he sold pirated movies, which was presumably how he was going to pay me back) but that if I needed to take anyone out, eithor he would or he'd get someone else to do so
[02:49] mrheadmrsmaster: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
[02:49] mrheadmrsmaster: omfg that's hilarious
[02:49] JPisTomato: so, apparently, I have an army of homeless people at my beck and call
[02:49] mrheadmrsmaster: dude, that's awesome
[02:49] mrheadmrsmaster: you can take your army of hopeless people and try to overrun bill gates
[02:50] JPisTomato: ROTFLOL!

Bow before me, or suffer the unbearable army of Homeless people!

[Deaths Jester]

Bah...I be not fearful of the homeless folks...I mean, come on...what are they really going to do to me...panhandle?!?!?!  I do that without them!

[vamp]

*throws food into homeless army*
1.2.3 FIGHT!
*Watches homeless as they kill each other*
*throws spam for fun*

[Tomato]

No, my army isth ruined! Now I will not be able to give money to orphans and help little old ladies across the street!


CURSE YOU VAMP!

[kkhohoho]

No, my army isth ruined! Now I will not be able to give money to orphans and help little old ladies across the street!


CURSE YOU VAMP!

*Drives over to Tomatoe in a van with the words "CURSES R US" written on the both sides.  Walks out of the van with a pen and a peice of paper.  Smokes a ciggarette.*

So what type of curse would you like?  We have many differnt styles.  For example, we have the anvil drop style for any occasion, the many zits style just for fun, and, among others, the Armegedon Style.  Which style would you like?

[Sword]

Hey, you in the Curse Truck. what's your going rate on "Suffering and Physical Torment that stop randomly for ten minutes each day?"

[Tomato]

I choose Death by Cheese and Honey with an enternity of Enya.

[kkhohoho]

Hey, you in the Curse Truck. what's your going rate on "Suffering and Physical Torment that stop randomly for ten minutes each day?"

That will come up to 24.99 plus tax.  However, if you make your purchase now, we'll throw in a "Flesh of Hands Taken off by Cheese Grater" free of charge!

I choose Death by Cheese and Honey with an enternity of Enya.

Oooooo, that'll come to 49.99 plus tax.  However, if you make your purchase now, we'll throw in a "Soul Destroyed by Grim Reaper Gone Even Badder" free of charge!

[Tomato]

Hey, you in the Curse Truck. what's your going rate on "Suffering and Physical Torment that stop randomly for ten minutes each day?"

That will come up to 24.99 plus tax.  However, if you make your purchase now, we'll throw in a "Flesh of Hands Taken off by Cheese Grater" free of charge!

I choose Death by Cheese and Honey with an enternity of Enya.

Oooooo, that'll come to 49.99 plus tax.  However, if you make your purchase now, we'll throw in a "Soul Destroyed by Grim Reaper Gone Even Badder" free of charge!

Are Monopoly Dollars alright?

[kkhohoho]

Hey, you in the Curse Truck. what's your going rate on "Suffering and Physical Torment that stop randomly for ten minutes each day?"

That will come up to 24.99 plus tax.  However, if you make your purchase now, we'll throw in a "Flesh of Hands Taken off by Cheese Grater" free of charge!

I choose Death by Cheese and Honey with an enternity of Enya.

Oooooo, that'll come to 49.99 plus tax.  However, if you make your purchase now, we'll throw in a "Soul Destroyed by Grim Reaper Gone Even Badder" free of charge!

Are Monopoly Dollars alright?

Noooooooooaaaaaaeeyyyyyeeeeeaaaahhhh, yeah, yes, yes, the're alright.  Bring them here, and we'll bring your curse to your designated victim.

[Deaths Jester]

*cups his head in his hands*

Oh dear god...what has this forum come to....

[Sword]

*pays the requisite amount*
Do I have to use this curse now, or can I wait for an opportune moment?

[kkhohoho]

*pays the requisite amount*
Do I have to use this curse now, or can I wait for an opportune moment?

Oh, not at all. You can save it for when you want use it.  With every purchase from 'CURSES R US", you get a free Pandora's Box!  Don't worry, for the box is empty.  Just put your curse right in, and when you want to use it, unleash it, and tell it whom to attack.

Would you like to buy the 1st Pandora's Box?

[ow_tiobe_sb]

This thread needs more Klaus:
[spoiler]

[/spoiler]

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and The Prat in the Hat

[randyripoff]

* pops Tomato in a food processor *

[kkhohoho]

* pops Tomato in a food processor *

Well then, Mr.Tomato, I'm afraid that even though you are currently unavailable to use your curse, there is no refund.  I hope to do business with your soul someday.  In the meantime, I have other guests to attend to, such as Mr.Sword and Mr.Klaus.  Would you like a curse, Mr.Klaus?

[vamp]

No, my army isth ruined! Now I will not be able to give money to orphans and help little old ladies across the street!


CURSE YOU VAMP!

Well i was gonna hug Tomato and have him mysteriously die, but I like what Randy did better.

Kkhohoho do you have a plan on reviving and and torturing people over and over again?

[kkhohoho]

No, my army isth ruined! Now I will not be able to give money to orphans and help little old ladies across the street!


CURSE YOU VAMP!

Well i was gonna hug Tomato and have him mysteriously die, but I like what Randy did better.

Kkhohoho do you have a plan on reviving and and torturing people over and over again?

Yes, we do have that curse, but it'll come to 99.99.  You could do it yourself by reversing time and space, then forwarding it again, but you would need a time machine or a Doctor for that.

[vamp]

I'll take it! What is the limit times i can brign him back? And, are weapons of torture included?

[kkhohoho]

I'll take it! What is the limit times i can brign him back? And, are weapons of torture included?

You can bring him back until there are no remains left of him.  And, since you ordered your curse right after we offered it to you, it comes with free weapons of torture.  However, you can only choose from one of three.  *Point to 3 rooms, each with a curtain hiding the front.  Starts talking like a game show host.* Each of these weapons is hidden behind a curtain!  Choose carefully!  So what will it be?! Weapon number 1, weapon number 2, or Weapon number 3?!

[Sword]

I've played this game before. Weapon #2 is a rabid tasmanian devil.

[kkhohoho]

I've played this game before. Weapon #2 is a rabid tasmanian devil.

Correct!  And since you guessed Weapon #2, you get...a rabid tasmanian devil...to be placed in your trousers!  *Swords' pants start to growl and jiggle.*  Now, Vamp, there's only 2 curtains left!  Choose wisely, or stupidly!  It certainly doesn't matter to me!

[Reepicheep]

I've played this game before. Weapon #2 is a rabid tasmanian devil.

Correct!  And since you guessed Weapon #2, you get...a rabid tazmanian devil...to be placed in your trowzers!  *Swords' pants start to growl and jiggle.*  Now, Vamp, there's only 2 curtains left!  Choose wisely, or stupidly!  It certaintly doesn't matter to me!

*Trousers

[kkhohoho]

I've played this game before. Weapon #2 is a rabid tasmanian devil.

Correct!  And since you guessed Weapon #2, you get...a rabid tazmanian devil...to be placed in your trowzers!  *Swords' pants start to growl and jiggle.*  Now, Vamp, there's only 2 curtains left!  Choose wisely, or stupidly!  It certaintly doesn't matter to me!

*Trousers

Fixed!

[Tomato]

*is dead*



























*is still dead*