Random Chuck Norris Jokes

[Cdub]

As title explains just post random Chuck norris jokes. Ok, here's a few.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once downed a B2 Bomber by pointing at it and sayong "Bang!".

World peace is generated by Chuck Norris' tears. Too bad he never cries.

When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Say please."

[Protomorph]

Behind Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin...


...Just another fist.

[MJB]

At night the Boogyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-MJB

[vamp]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

[The Hitman]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight on, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was the first man to tame a dinosaur.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar, and then it exploded. No man- made building can contain that much awesome.

If Chuck Norris made the calendar, every month would be "Chucktober" and every day he'd kick your... [bad word].

[lmalonsof]

For Chuck Norris there's no sex if the woman survives.

[Cyber Burn]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[ow_tiobe_sb]

Chuck Norris is almost cool enough to make these jokes funny.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Fop o' th' Morning

[bat1987]

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Walker, Texas Ranger marathon on Satellite TV.

[BentonGrey]

An episode of Walker Texas Ranger once aired in France, and the French immediately surrendered to Chuck Norris, just to be safe.

[ow_tiobe_sb]

During a press conference, Chuck Norris admitted that he is nothing more than a metaphor for overt masculinity, [nation deleted] imperialism, and violence worship, and then his audience's testes exploded! (Of course, he was completely alone during this unattended press conference in his private lavatory.)

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Fop o' th' Morning

[GogglesPizanno]

Chuck Norris got in a fight with Bruce Lee...and Lost.

Oh wait.
I think I'm doing this wrong.

[ow_tiobe_sb]

Chuck Norris got in a fight with Bruce Lee...and Lost.

:angry:

[spoiler][/spoiler]

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Fop o' th' Morning

[GogglesPizanno]

Oh how can you hate that fight??
Bruce Lee ripped out his chest hair!
Chuck Norris' CHEST HAIR!

I mean if hes powerful enough to do that... gotta respect it a little.

[GhostMachine]

Bruce Lee was one of Chuck's teachers, so what would you expect?

Chuck Norris' worst enemy? A wet paper bag.

[Deaths Jester]

Chuck Norris once looked at me, and resurected me.  Now that's waht ye call bad @$$!

[Raptor]

Chuck Norris is so fast he once ran around the world and punched himself in the back of the head.

[Camma]

Looks like the staple jokes are in so i'll share this tidbit of Chuckamnia from a while back on the City of Heroes forums back when fighting Hami was all the rage.

[spoiler][/spoiler]

[Ares_God_of_War]

Its a proven fact that all bigfoot and sasquatch sightings in the U.S. and Canada are just Chuck Norris without a shirt on. Consquently  the sightins of the Loch Ness monster were Chuck swimming without trousers.

[Protomorph]

Chuck Norris has been known to turn the other cheek, but only while he's opening up another can of Whoop-Arse.

[Ares_God_of_War]

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

[ow_tiobe_sb]

Buddhist proverb: There is no Chuck Norris.

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Fop o' th' Morning

[BatWing]

at night, the boogey man checks his closet for chuck norris.

[ow_tiobe_sb]

at night, the boogey man checks his closet for chuck norris.

I've long suspected he was in the closet...

ow_tiobe_sb
Phantom Bunburyist and Fop o' th' Morning

[Angus]

Chuck Norris's tears have the ability to cure cancer. But he never cries. NEVER.

Chuck Norris sued NBC. Law and Order are the names of his left and right leg.

God, when creating the world, said that he would need 10 days. Chuck Norris said: I give 6 days and no more.

[thalaw2]

Chuck Norris want fight Bruce Lee.  Bruce Lee say "Hiyaaaaa"!   Beat hairy chest man like red headed step child.
Me laugh so hard need go to hospital!

[Mr. Hamrick]

There are no Chuck Norris "jokes", just random observations about a true bad@$$

[BatWing]

every night, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris; but then Bob Saget comes in, gives the boogeyman warm milk and quietly reads him a bedtime story