Prevsational

[Previsionary]

*prev stares around the stage and simply smirks totally unaffected by the display of violence.*

:prev(mentally): Today...is a good day.

*cue music*

:prev: Well, let's give a life-restoring round of applause for our next guest, MJB!

*audience roars and claps*

:prev: Heh, that oughta keep you alive for a few more minutes right, MJB?

:mjb: The way things tend to go down in this forum I highly doubt it. LOL.

:prev: So, how have you been? I hear reports that someone recently killed you a few months back.

:mjbdeadagain Wow. Who hasn't killed me? I stopped counting a long time ago.

:prev: I don't know if I could approve of someone killing me...but you do die a lot. So, you were basically the catalyst for the change in leadership in the fiefdom, were you not? What sparked that idea?

:mjb: I actually found a long lost Fiefdom law that Mr. Ripoff tried to keep hidden. I showed it to the other moderators but they were, shall we say, a bit iffy about crossing Randy. Those who cross him have the tendency of becoming shark bait. LOL.

With my ability to come back from any un-natural death the job of presenting it to the people fell on my shoulders.

To tell the truth I expected a lot more blood shed during the election. ;)

*audience applauds and a the woman hailing Randy tosses a lettuce onto the stage*

:prev: Well, when a lettuce is tossed onto stage, then it's almost time to go. MJB, two more questions before you take off. Numero Uno, what are your powers and how do you utilize them in fights?

:mjb: Powers eh? I have the ability to manipulate cold. I can create ice from the moisture in the air and form it into various objects. In battle I can create ice gloves, swords, axe's or just plain freeze people.

The rez thing is odd. I can come back from any un-natural death. It really doesn't help in battle very much since it's highly unstable and unpredictable. I never know how long I'm going to stay dead. It can be seconds, minutes or days.

:prev: AAAAAANNNNDDDD, numero dos, if you had your choice of a new fiefdom leader, who would it be and why? Also, just a bonus question, how would Randy kill them?

:mjb: It's hard to top Randy. Randy ruled the Fiefdom with an iron fist ( :gauntlet: ). If I was forced to pick someone other than Randy I would have Gday to run it. He would be chained to his throne and electric whip bearing monkeys would force him to dictate 24 hours a day!

As for the bonus question I suppose Randy would send a giant Milkdud box that secretly housed blood thirst Sharkmen™. Knowing Gday's mad Milkdud cravings I don't think he would stand a chance.

:prev: Ahhh, milkduds, the fall of all good men who enjoy them. I don't, but that's not important. Thanks for your time, MJB< and Vamp...you sit right here...

*places vamp next to the guest seat*

:prev: We have a special guest coming up next. A villain!

*audience "OOOs"*

:prev: And if things go well...there won't be any destruction!

[UnfluffyBunny]

*Backstage Syn is standing in a dark corner, a stagehand rushes past, tripping and tugging on Syn's cape as he falls, seconds later the audience get a treat as what appears to be a panicked male in a headset enters the stage, hurtling backwards at alarming speed and quickly exits the opposite side, followed by a large crash*

[Deaths Jester]

*Throws A vodka-molotov at DJ's copter*
Vamp:"Not only have I lit your copter on fire, but i have wasted perfectly good vodka"

*jumps off his copter in anger*
DJ: "Oh yea bloody idiot...ye wasted vodka!!!  And Prev told ye too!!  I'll get him!!!"

[the_ultimate_evil]

* TUE enters backstage

"hey this isn't the female cast of charmed  vs  the female buffy cast bikini volleyball game, he lied to me again*

[Previsionary]

:prev: Ok, let's welcome out one of the many villains I've yet to have a chance to encounter, Syn!

*audience cheers, then hisses, then boos, then cheers*

:prev: Welcome, Syn. I think the sign is broken or something. Wassup?

*Syn lowers himself slowly backwards into the stage seating, shifting his cape slightly as he does, the dark leather costume in its grim appearance standing out like a morbid sore thumb against the bright lights and overly comfy looking chair, he turns to the sofa next to him, the previous guests sitting there reflect faintly in his visor as he turns back to the host, as he speaks he sounds like a burns victim, muffled harshly by the heavy leather mask stitched around his head*

Syn: "what kind of lavish hell is this? when a minion informs me i'm to meet a kindred spirit, I was not expecting to find myself in some form of meat bag circus. someone will be recieving a number 9 upon my return.

*Syn begins to look around the studio, although his mask prevents any form of expression being shown, he clearly finds it distasteful*

:prev: Now, you and my evil twin, Prem, used to work for King Be during his reign, correct? how was your experience with that (beep)?

*Syn's head quickly snaps back to the hosts direction with unnatural quickness and a sickening click*

Syn: "I assure you I have no idea what you're blathering on about, tho I dont keep records of the insignificants, take that as you will.

*Syn surveys the studio again, Syn appears to notice for the first time what appears to be batman after being stuck in the wardrobe for too long, Syn cant help but think the character is way too comfortable sitting in the light like this, the irritation starts to show as he begins to tap hs fingers, the small sharp tips at the fingertips of his heavy costume begin to make light work of the armrests upholstery*

:prev: Now, I don't know much about you, but I do know you've had several costume changes and your history is so murky that my producers didn't know what to tell me for this interview. Why don't you expand on youself a bit so we, the audience, can understand you better.

Syn: "Not so much costume change, as a body change, usually these meat bags burn out too fast, but from time to time I get a juicy one, you get the odd surise, like taking a body who dousnt even realise they have powers

*a throaty chuckle emanates from syn's mask*

:prev: And how about your powers? I hear that you might be pyrokinetic...

Syn: "In a former body I had a certain... affinity for the flame, i'm slowly working through the minds of these cattle to work out how that one body could switch that on, powers as such change from body to body, some can take the strain of being pushed further than others, depending on how far I can take them, I just switch on a few things in their near useless meaty heads, and instant evolution."

:prev: Ok, we're running out of time, so I'll ask you 1 or two more questions. You fancy yourself an artist/skinner, right? Tell us a bit about your work.

Syn: "I dabble where my time permits, tho times have been somewhat.... constraining recently."

:prev: And...have anything left to say or shoutout? Don't go crazy...kids watch this show!

*syn turns to the annoying thing-bat on the couch*

Syn: "Can I kill this one?."

:prev: And we're out! Thanks for stopping by, sir Syn...and wave to DJ! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.

*Syn turns back to the host*

Syn: "really... it irritates me....."

:prev: I like your style...GO FOR IT!

*audience cheers*

:prev: Now, let's go to break as our next stretchy guest prepares himself! Vamp, might wanna...run.

*break*

[Previsionary]

*prev eyes protomorph as he stands completely nonchalant behind the curtains. Something about this hero irritates him.*

...

*the audience cheers up a storm and prev just growls as the commercial break ends and proto walks onto the stage*

:prev: Let's welcome out the guy you people treat like a star, Protomorph!

*audience cheers*

:prev: Now, proto...you and I haven't met at all, but I know you're a hero. Wanna tell us a bit about yourself and your powers?

:cool: I am pretty strong, I can shapeshift and fly.

:prev: I hear your powers have something to do with stretching as well, how does that help you in the dating department?

:cool: yes, I can stretch as well along with the shapeshifting. I don't like to kiss and tell...suffice to say, I haven't had any complaints. One huge benefit of my powers, is that I can be anyone my lady love interest would like me to be.

:prev (while nodding): Well, I know you weren't exactly active around here when Tiobe took the reigns from Randy. How do you think he'll do?

:cool: I wasn't much of an active participant, but as a Moderator, I was keeping an eye on things, disguised as one of Randy's sharks. As for how Tiobe will fare, I'm sure he'll distinguish himself at least as much as Earnest has.

:prev: I'm a little shocked since he's the only guy to usurp Randy. Ian went on a crusade to do it and you see how well that went...everyone just lost their powers.

:cool: Yeah, I gotta give the little Bunburyest his props. It takes a lot of moxie to unseat the wielder of the Iron Fist.

:prev: So, if you could be ruler of this place, how would things be different?

:cool: If I was ruler, nobody would know about it. I'm a behind the scenes kind of guy. Comes with the shapeshifting, I guess. Infiltration is a specialty of mine.

:prev: Ok, one more question before we go to break...who...is...your...favorite...artist...AND WHY!

:cool: Musical Artist: The Beatles. Comic Artist: Alex Ross.

:prev: Well, thanks for your time, Sir Proto. Say hello to DJ! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.

:cool: Hi DJ!

----

:prev: And at this point of the show, I'll let everyone know that this completely wacky season is almost over. The audience has been super tame outside of vamp and kkho and...my guest have been super polite. I want you all to know that...*ties DJ to a rocket and sends him flying into space*

...

:prev: Eggzackly. Me next guest is getting ready and I'm sure he'll be fun...or not.

[vamp]

*syn turns to the annoying thing-bat on the couch*

Syn: "Can I kill this one?."

:prev: And we're out! Thanks for stopping by, sir Syn...and wave to DJ! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.

*Syn turns back to the host*

Syn: "really... it irritates me....."

:prev: I like your style...GO FOR IT!

*audience cheers*

:prev: Now, let's go to break as our next stretchy guest prepares himself! Vamp, might wanna...run.

*break*

Vamp:"Here is the deal, you can kill me if you can use your own body. But seeing as you can not do such things, the very least you can do is bathe one of those bodies. I mean really wearing all that leather and forgetting deodorant is never a good idea."

*Sprays Syn with disinfectant and hands him deodorant*

Vamp: I may be a bat, be even i have standards.

[UnfluffyBunny]

(technichally syn dousnt HAVE a body, he never has, psychic parasite and all)

[vamp]

(Technically I knew that ;))

[Protomorph]

Don't get technical with us.

[Zippo]

*Backstage, Zippo stuffs his face at the snack table*

:zippo : Never been on TV before... Should do it more often; there's better food here than back home.

Stage director: Hey, you! Yeah! You! Get outta that stuff! It's for the guests!

:zippo : I... am a guest...

Stage director: What? You don't look like any hero or villain I've ever heard of.

:zippo : I'm Canadian...

Stage director: Cana- Oh right! Yeah, I guess yooze is on pretty soon then; and in that case: QUIT STUFFIN' YER FACE! YER ON SOON!

[Previsionary]

*prev smirks as Syn, Vamp, and Proto get into a random discussion over technicality and it quickly disappears as Zippo stands awkwardly behind the curtains*

...

:prev : Ok, let's welcome out...ZIPPO!

*crowd cheers and throws string onstage*

:prev(while removing strings): Zippo...how the heck are ya?

*Zippo walks out on stage, looking somewhat nervous, and takes a seat*

:zippo :  Pretty decent, thanks Prev. How're the wife and kids?

:prev : Um, I guess they're fine. I'll let you know when they come into fruition. Now, I know you recently escaped that thing you meatbags call school, how does it feel?

:zippo : A little sore. Climbing over a razor-wire fence and dodging rabid attack dogs will do that to you.

:prev : MHM, I'm the equivalent to a demon so I don't share your experience. Tell me, don't you have a twin or something?

:zippo : Being grown in a lab as a living weapon, I can only assume; but I've never met one. Though I suppose it's only a matter of time before one is sent to bring me in. That's how these things work, right?

:prev : ...Because I recall working with someone that looks similar to you...Strings or something...

:zippo : I've heard of that guy; no relation. He strikes me as an unsavoury character. And to be honest, anyone who controls thousands of little black wiggly things puts me on edge.

:prev : Doesn't matter. Now, how do you feel about music? My producers tell me that you have some sort of interest in it.

:zippo : Ah! I love it! I tried forming a band with some fellow heroes because, y'know, all the famous people double up on jobs nowadays, but it was difficult. Our drummer was prone to transforming into a hulking purple beast that'd smash everything, though; he was popular with the Metal crowd.

:prev : You know...I have a pretty good vocal pipe. I'd write a song, call ya up, sing...then viciously destroy your soul as the song played in the background. Plan?

:zippo : Errr... No thanks... But if you want you can be the new lead singer in the band. The last one met an unfortunate end with a noodlefication ray.

*audience:  :mellow:... :huh:... :o... :blink:... :wacko:*

:prev : Well, this has been very entertaining. One more question, when do you plan on returning to skinning?

:zippo : Well, to be honest, I've never been one for hunting, so taxidermy isn't all that appealing to me either.

:prev : Oh, I totally forgot about asking what your powers are...what are they?

:zippo : Well, y'see, it's somewhat complicated, but-

:prev : --and we're out! Adios, mis amigos!

*magically ports Zippo into the third guest seat*

:prev: now, my next guest is very special. We have quite a history and...well...he's the only person I've tried to destroy more so than that super dufus, premonitioner. Y'all just wait! Oh, I'm obligated to tell you that this season is very close to being over...

*points to someone in the audience*

:prev: YOU WILL BE IN THIS CHAIR! AND YOU...

*points to kkho*

:prev: I will get an interview with you and that duck. That duck...will be a star!

*break*

[kkhohoho]

*A rather non-jolly soul did not think that he would be interviewed.  Regardless, he begins to think of what he should say during the interview.  After 30 seconds of deep, entrancing thought, he decides to just wing it.  He would personally like to wing his duck onto a grill, but seeing as both himself and his duck are getting an interview, he decides to hold off on the idea.*

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* The Phantom Eyebrow continues watching the show from his hidden position in the audience, admiring the banter and revelling in his own cleverness at the fine deception.  He affords himself a celebratory moment to twirl the moustache.*

:eyebrow: *to self* "Hmmm... perhaps I should have opted for a monacle instead of these chunky specs" 

[Previsionary]

*prev stares into the audience again and smirks. He's amused by a certain someone's attempt at hiding.*

:prev: Let's welcome out a pansy of a hero, TPE!

* The spectral ambassador of the cosmos registers surprise a moment that Prev has seen through his fine disguise so easily but nonetheless arrives on stage with composure intact and a wave for the adoring masses *

:prev: TPE, you and I have a downright awful relationship. I can't count how many times I've tried to kill you--

:eyebrow:  { Prev, Prev, Prev... many have tried to kill The Phantom Eyebrow, and I may have at times allowed you the illusion that you had me running scared, if only to enterta-

:prev: Whatever...I ultimately get bored with you and just leave you to your own devices.

:eyebrow: ^_^ { This 'boredom' of yours is quite the self-preservation mechanism then...   

:prev: I will kick you off this stage and then attack you!

:eyebrow:  :angry: * Standing to his full height now and drawing his cape about him in a well-practiced manner * { You meddle with powers beyond your ken, Prev!  There may (well indeed) be some kicking to be done, but the question is this: Will you be the kicker or the...  :unsure: um... kickee...?

* The Eyebrow trails off now as his mind scrambles for a better retort *

*prev and the audience: :huh:*

:prev: Ok...let's calm down. We're neutral here.

:eyebrow: { Yes, well, neutrality is a dish best served...  :huh: um...?

:prev: Well, thanks to you being annoying, I guess we need to go to break AND THEN get to the interview...jerk.

:eyebrow:  :angry: { Oh yes!?  Well, I'm rubber and you're glue!

:prev: Go to commercial!

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* The Phantom sits a little uncomfortably in his chair, the odd stray bead of sweat running down brow *

:eyebrow: *under his breath* { 'Go to commerical' is it?  Just when I had him on the ropes...

* He continues figiting in his chair as the commercials continue *

[Previsionary]

*prev enjoys TPE's figiting and amazingly, he hasn't done anything evil...yet. The commercial ends...*

:prev: Ok, look, we're gonna be calm and behaved now. No bad blood, ok?

* The Phantom seems more composed now, his brow no longer furrowed by the heady mix of indignation and confusion of a moment ago*

:eyebrow:  :) { Of course Prev, delighted to be here. 

:prev: So, TPE...you were in the run for fiefdom leader, how do you feel about losing to Tiobe and do you think he'll do a good job? The fiefdom has already crashed on his watch, keep that in mind.

* A slight twitch troubles the Phantom's eye now, which he seemingly attempts to smooth down by rubbing the palm of his hand across his temple *

:eyebrow: { Feel?  How do I feel?  Why, how could I feel anything but delight that the prole- that the voters have seen fit to entrust the leadership to this fine fellow?  Already he has brought an air of culture to the place... shark attacks are down 34% year-on-year.  And its great to see the Fiefdom's reigns (if you will) in the hands of one of the Phantasmal Avatar League of Superheroes. 
:eyebrow: { I...I'm the leaders of PALS, you know!?

:prev: Now, I know you and I have fought against each other in some form and you have also worked with my evil twin...which one is the better fighter?

:eyebrow: { Oh but sure how can I answer that one?   :unsure: He's not waiting in the wings or anything is he!? 

*:prev (mentally): If he were, we'd be fighting right this friggin' moment, the stooge.*

:prev: Ok, I know you like Uriah Heep for some reason, what other music do you fancy?

:eyebrow: { Oh but I have an eclectic and varied taste... all sorts of music really... anything with a good Hammond solo.

:prev: Now tell the audience about yourself and your powers, phantom dimwit.

:eyebrow: { I'll let that attempt at a jibe pass.  My powers are derived from the (very) essence of the cosmos.  Never has a descriptor been more apt than my "spectral of aspect, hairy of brow".  The spectrality speaks of my abillities to assume intangiblity or to fold space itself and teleport short distances.  The, er, hairiness speaks also of my ability to visit great harm on those who would cross me.  And through it all I am informed by the all-seeing Eye of Truth.  How can one encompass such a range in a few mere sound-bites?  How can one fully describe the mysterious enigma that is the Eyebow?

:prev: and before we go...a special guest!

:eyebrow: { No, no, make that enigmatic mystery.  'Enigmatic mystery' is better I feel.

:prev: Welcome out, Minuteman!

*clip of Minuteman knocking out TPE appears on the screen.

* The Eyebrow's face looks worried now and his throat starts to feel very dry *

:prev: Now, TPE, how do you feel about MM being out here after your last meeting?

:minute: For Glory! I'd like to believe that me and this fellow can get along! But as long as he steals my likeness--

:eyebrow: { Ah now that's a little unfair.  I may use some of Minuteman's lines in battle but only as a tribute to the great man.  He's truly a hero and an inspiration to all.
* This shameless display of buttering up continues for some time *

:minute:  :thumbup:

*audience:  :wub:*

:prev: Well, that's that. And if you two wanna go at it again...

*pool of jello is pushed onstage*

:prev: Might as well fully relive the past, huh? ^_^

* The Phantom Eyebrow, using one of his previously referred to powers, disappears from the stage 'in the blink of an eye' *

:prev: And that's the way an eyebrow escapes from an uncomfortable situation, y'all! Now, you guys will truly enjoy my next guest. He's a villain and he claims to be able to take on superman. I'll let your mind wonder as things are prepared.

*break*

[Carravaggio]

*Aboard a vast, moon sized spacecraft, Carravaggio sits and broods. His allies and minions mill about behind him, apprehensive as he surveys all in his domain.
A particularly brave servant risks his life, and dares to approach his master.*

"M-my lord...you are the master of untold worlds! You have conquered entire realities! Forgive my brazenness, but what causes such a mood in one so powerful."

*Carravaggio does not turn to address the slave directly, but in his own time, replies in a solemn tone.*

"Long ago, ancient pacts were made, events set in motion that even my will cannot undo. Alas, e'en the Tyrant Star must adhere to his word."

*Mystified, the slave shakes his head in disbelief.*

"What dread deed does this unspoken bargain hold you to? For in truth, what could dare to dictate the will of the Conquerer?"

*Carravaggio rises from his throne, resolute.*

"Know this, loyal one. What I must do now, can never be spoken of. I must...appear of the Previsionary's talk show for an interview."

*The slave, struck dumb by terror, recovers, even as he shies away in disbelief.*

"N-No! It's too horrible! It cannot be!"

*Carravaggio at last looks at the lowly being who lives to enact his will.*

"It is. Pray for us all, if you like, but it will do little good."

*With that Carravaggio rises in the air and disappears in a flash of light. The slaves mill about in fear and confusion, and one reaches for the monitor screen to see if he can tune into the Prevsational Show"*

[Previsionary]

*prev smirks as the room begins to shake violently as a white, blinding light captures the attention of everyone present. Seconds later, a man materializes and his eyes glow with an incredible power that even amuses Prev...though he would never admit it aloud.*

:prev: Impressive

*Ok, maybe he would. The room tenses up as Carravaggio walks onto the stage. Prev's right brow rises up and a slight energy signature is displayed for mere seconds in the center of his forehead*

:prev: Welcome, Carravaggio. How are you?

Carravaggio: Replete with the responsibilities of commanding and protecting a vast galactic empire, forged by my own hands. And you?

:prev: I am fine as far as those words see fit when describing anything about me. I can sense several things in you. Dark things. Tell us about yourself, eh? Powers, enemies, abilities, etc.

Carravaggio: I spent centuries trapped in an ethereal alien dimension, absorbing the consciousnesses of untold alien creatures. I am the potential of a billion, billion beings.

:prev: Now, you and I haven't had a chance to meet...do you think you'd be able to withstand my wizardry and psychic prowess?

Carravaggio: Lets hope you don't have to find out.

:prev: Because not many fools can withstand any attack by me. Now, I can sense that you like to be artsy. Describe your artistic process to us, please?

Carravaggio: Did ou just call me a fool? *glare*

Carravaggio: A lifetime of immersion in the comicbook, fantasy and sci fi mediums and genres has imparted a deep visual library of imagery and knowledge in me. At times a shining thought will emerge from this molten cricible, one so bright it cannot be ignored, and its exorcism via the graphic mediums. These few years past, skinning and skoping has been my greatest outlet, though previously more traditional 2D mediums sufficed. I have found my creativity has shifted heavily towards the digital mediums of late.

:prev: Does this process apply to anything else?

Carravaggio: My writing as well, usually is the result of a moment of clarity which then seems to fall into place of its on volition.

*prev shoves the microphone towards Carra to get a clearer response*

Carravaggio: That is, the story seems to write itself. The process applies to almost anything I do, with the exception of my ongoing conquest of the many and varied galaxies. This is mapped in tandem with my War Council, a band of alien beings taken from worlds I have defeated.

:prev: Now, Carra, how would you handle a bunch of shadow demons trying to eat your soul?

Carravaggio: My typical response to overwhelming numbers or a particularly troublesome foe is to throw them into the nearest sun. That backfired recently on a radioactive enemy I combated on the fringe of a backwater system under my glorious command. He absorbed vast amounts of energy from the sun, returning more powerful that ever. It was revealed he had a tiny sun for a heart, and once that was forcibly removed, he became much more manageable. I now keep his heart on my mantle.

*audience Ooooos*

:prev: And I guess I should wrap this up. Have any parting words?

Carravaggio: Prepare for my arrival, prepare for defeat, prepare to be ruled. I cannot be stopped. I am Carravaggio, The Conquerer. I am the Tyrant Star.

prev: nicely...said...? Um...break.

*commercial break. The instant the cameras go off, Carravaggio is out of his seat and through the roof leaving debris and injuries in his wake*

:prev: typical villain! SOMEONE CLEAN THIS UP! Do I HAVE to do everything around here?  &lt;_&lt;

[Panther_Gunn]

Backstage, unobserved by most, a grim and dark figure monitors the goings-on onstage.

"Another villain, eh?", he mutters to himself.   "He and Syn seem a bit out of my league, but I'm sure I could find at least one way to neutralize either of them, if I had the time."

"With all of these 'guests' being members of PALS, you'd think Prev (another villain I need to research more) had a product placement deal with them or something.  What this show needs is an independant view, not some political toadie."

[Previsionary]

*prev, having mostly observed the cleaning crews process, smirks as he is alerted to his next guest's presence*

:prev: Let's welcome out, Panther_Gunn!

*crowd roars and 'snikts'*

:prev: Panther gunn...I have an issue with you.

: Yeah?  Take a number.  What I do ain't always popular, but it gets the job done.  However, I am legally obliged to inform you that if it has anything to do with clones, you'll have to take that up with Gday.....and his legal department.

:prev: I'll tell you what it is alright, you remind me of a wolverine clone. Wolverine clone 302. Are you in fact a wolverine clone, Panther gunn?

:  Well, if I am, I'm a definite improvement over that runt.  And it'd *really* piss Gday off!  But, I highly doubt it, as I'm sure some kind of alarm would have gone off by now with all the times I've been in & out of H.A.M.S.T.E.R. HQ.

:prev: Then set the record straight! Powers, abilities, and frequent villains, let us know.

:  As a villain, I'm sure you'd *love* to get your hands on that kind of info.  All you gotta know is I'm quick, strong, there's nowhere you can hide that I can't find you, and I know more ways to knock someone around than Sven has done stupid things.  As for villains, it's been mostly reports of clones lately (Gday pays his freelancers well).  And I just plain don't like NightDragon.  He sheds and he smells.  The day Gday says he's not welcome around the HQ anymore, I'm makin' him into a pair of boots.

*:prev (mentally): Bah, as if I'd attack you...if I really wanted to take ya down, I'd attack you here and now...but the sven thing is pretty funny.*

*audience roars*

:prev: Ok, PG, how have you been? Haven't seen you around these parts in a long time.

:  Well enough, I suppose.  This place has just gotten too silly lately to even consider setting one grim foot into.  Do you know how hard it is to find a fully armored knight armed with a large halibut that's available to smack people that often?  Besides, every time I --

:prev: --But who did you vote for during the fiefdom elections, huh? There seems to be a bit of a problem right now with who is the true leader. Who would you want to lead this place?

:  *hrmf*  That fiasco?  The first "election" in Russia was more valid than that thing.  Can you vote someone out of power if you don't know who they are?  And do you really think that Randy would relinquish his grip on this place that easily (or bloodlessly)?  All I'll say about it, is that Sword stumbled onto what was really going on around here a couple years ago, and it was practically confirmed by Randy.  Have you noticed that Sword (and everybody else that might know something) has been very quiet about it ever since?  It's not advisable to mess with that kind of power.

:prev: Well, this has been fun. Two more questions before you 'snikt' on out of here. Numero uno, Who do you find yourself fancying in the media these days? That's a broad question so answer how you see fit.

:  The media?  99.99% of everybody involved is worthless.....put on this Earth to get in my way & breathe up my air.  But they keep the cattle known as the "general public" entertained & distracted, I suppose.  Unfortunately, one of the few I had some respect for has passed on recently.  Carlin may have been a bit of a liberal hippie, but he called 'em like he saw 'em....and he saw things a lot more clearly than some people wanted him to.

:prev: M'right, now, let us know about your current interest a bit. Are you still into FF...doom...destruction?

:  FF will always be good.  Doom?  That's reaching a bit back there.....when I'm in that kind of mood, I prefer Duke Nukem 3D.  Haven't heard of Destruction.....is it anything like Half-Life?  What platform is it on?  Or is it a Civilization mod?

*audience snikts*

:prev: Thanks for stopping by, PG. Wave to DJ, k? Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time.

:  Not a problem.....it's been a slow clone day.

*eyes DJ closely*

:  One maggot-infested toe in the wrong direction, and I'll pump ya full of Reanimator juice, just so I can kill ya proper!  Consider this your only warning, dead-ite.

:prev: An actual challenge to DJ besides myself? There is hope! Now, my next guest is um...Santa clause? Wait...what?

*break*

[kkhohoho]

*Backstage, an unjolly old soul and his crazy duck wait for their interview.*

Duck: QUACK QUACK! RIBBET! MOOOOOOOOO!

:santa: No, you're not getting a roast duck dinner. Aside from the fact that you'd be promoting cannibalism, you've been a very naughty boy recently.

Duck: Quack?

:santa: You know what I mean.  I saw that video of you and Santa at the beach. It wasn't pretty.

Duck: QUACK RIBBET MEOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

:santa: Stop denying it, and keep your comments about right-wing politics to yourself!  Anyways, get ready.  The interview should start anytime now.

*The Duck then qaucks, ribbets, moos, meows, and even trumpets out in rage, but quickly mellows down.

:santa: I do not!

[AfghanAnt]

*In the audience, a brightly colored caped man haphazardly tries to make it out to the aisle but becomes caught and falls into the man in front of him.*

: Why does this always happen to me...

*The man in front pushes the caped man off of him*

: My apologies but this cape is always getting caught on things. I really don't know how the other guys do it. I mean you never see other caped heroes getting caught but then again how many heroes would go to a human language broadcast in the middle of Earth's rotation instead of fighting some human financial institution larcener...

*Amidst his rambling, the caped man looks around and notices everyone is staring at him*

: Well...uhmmm...Greeting good non-larcenering humans...I am AFGHAN ANT of the Hymenoptera Winged ELITE Class of the HIVE WORLD/SUPERCOLONY and...uhmmm...you see...my cape got stuck in the seat and I fell into this very nice human in front of me...

*AA bends over and whispers in the man's ear*

: What do humans call you?

*The man rolls his eyes and says "My name is Tom" and AA springs back up*

: TOM! He is called TOM, humans!

*AA notices the stage and audience is completely quiet and staring at him*

: You...uhmmm...see...I must be going...uhmmm...going...there are retrograding quasi-harmonic otoacoustic emissions being broadcasted in near the Kármán line in your upper atmosphere that I need to attend to...so I'll just be going...

*AA's cape is now stuck in Tom's chair*

: Oh for the Sting of Vespoid...

[Previsionary]

*Prev stares out into the audience and witnesses the commotion. Something about this caped crusader intrigues him so much as to make prev say: "He intrigues me...," but nothing more. Second later, prev zaps KKHO and his duck onto the stage*

:prev: KKHO, I noticed you in the audience and I must say, that duck is going to be a star!

:santa: Yes, you still seem to be saying that.

:prev: I mean, I didn't really want you, but I guess you're the duck's manager and...

:santa: I guess you could say that.  I do manage his his food and water supply, and height, and his width, and when he'll be ready to gr-

:prev: So how are you...and the duck?

:santa: Let's just say that before tonight, I planned to send this duck to a very special place.

Duck: QUACK QUACK QUACK! MOOOOOOOO!

:santa: He doesn't seem to be very happy about that.

:prev: You two are certainly chatty. Tell us about yourselves, KKHO + duck. What are your powers? Your enemies? Your alliances?

:santa: I'm pretty powerful.  I have great superhuman strength, tremendous leaping ability, and can fire a powerful beam of laugh energy from my mouth.  Oh, and also, I get healed when I hear laughs.  As for enemies, my primary foes are Santa and his elves.  As for alliances, I ally with NO-ONE...aside from PALS.

Duck: QUACK QUACK MOOOOOOO! Ribbet!

:santa: What my duck is trying to say is that is only enemies are fat guys in red suits and BBQ's.  As for alliances, his only alliance is with his bill.

:prev: Duck with issues, are you part of pals like your manager friend? That team sucks!

Duck: Quack. Quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack. Quack quack. Quack. HE HAW! HE HAW!

:santa:  What my duck is trying to say is that he is not a part of PALS, because he has...another appointment to attend to.

:prev: I'm sorry, but I have a problem with most of that team. DJ, Tiobe, TPE...all punks. Also, aren't you evil, KKHO? How could you join up with them?

:santa: I figured that being a villain only gets your arse kicked. On a regular basis. So I decided to become a hero.  I'm still evil though, and ONE DAY, THE WORLD SHALL KNOW THIS! ONE DAY! Okay, I'm done.

:prev: ...right. And how's your friendship with Spam?

:santa: Despite the fact that I'm basically evil Santa and he's dumb as a rock, we somehow ended up being best pals. (GROAN.) Unfortunately, he hardly shows his face anymore. I'm surprised he showed here tonight.  I'M GOING TO KIL...I mean, I'm going to give him a big hug. Yeah, that's right.

prev: And I guess we're through. Wave to DJ. Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time. Duck, KKHO; any last words?

:santa: Well, it seems that you don't have any plans for this duck, so unless you do, I think I'll resume my plan for him tomorrow, after I 'catch up' with little ol' Spam tonight. *Cracks knuckles.*
*QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Ribbet!

:prev: Indeed. The duck is star quality but...I've found someone new for the big screens. *camera pans out to AA*

:prev: but up next...um...who is up next?

producer: Ultimate "flesheater" evil

:prev: EGADS, man! That jerk?

*break*

[the_ultimate_evil]

*backstage flesheater watchs AA trip and fall in the crowd*

for god sake we can't take that guy anywhere

*you're on 5 minutes mr. flesheater*

cheers mate

*sits down*

so poddy whats the snacks like in here

*pod looks sheepish*

: snacks,here? What sweater? I came in with this! I don't know you people! STOP JUDGING ME

*pod runs out the door*

sometimes i think i'm the most sane one of the group and that really scares me

[Deaths Jester]

:prev: And at this point of the show, I'll let everyone know that this completely wacky season is almost over. The audience has been super tame outside of vamp and kkho and...my guest have been super polite. I want you all to know that...*ties DJ to a rocket and sends him flying into space*

...

:prev: Eggzackly. Me next guest is getting ready and I'm sure he'll be fun...or not.

*Not knowing what has happened to him, DJ rockets off to space and crash lands on the dark side of the moon, where a large amount of DJ zombie supporters live.  In a matter of seconds, DJ is rocketing back, with a large amount of zombies in his thrall.*

DJ to himself: "Mwuahahahahaha!!  Now Prev shall pay for his idiocy...I bring forth zombies and undead jalapeneos...nothing can stop them...so I shall win at last!!!"

[Alaric]

*AA's cape is now stuck in Tom's chair*

*Having been unaccustomedly quite in his seat, riveted as he was to the show, the Verdant Vowel turns casually to the wardrobe-entrapped crusader*

A I hate it when that happens...

[Previsionary]

*prev, still peeved about the hole in the roof, covers the entire ceiling in shadow energy before inviting UE onto the stage*

:prev: Let's welcome out, Ultimate Evil!

*crowd stares*

*UE walks onto the stage waving at the crowd and sits down and just stares at prev*

:prev: Welcome to my show...UE. How are you?

:ultevil: you lied to get me here, and for that i will make sure you get whats coming to you, other than that i'm peachy :) *

*crowd stares*

:prev: You know what, UE, I've no idea what you're on about and also, I have a problem with you. What's with the name?

:ultevil: well long story short the name flesheater actually belong to my sword, i wanted to go with super tough handsome wacky man, but when you meet your first demon and he runs away screaming the flesheater you go with what works, plus i couldn't get my first idea on the t-shirts

*crowd stares*

:prev: Your name is insulting to me and all evil people. You're a do-gooder and rockin' my and many other allegiances as some lame moniker. How do you feel about that?

:ultevil: and your dress sense is insulting to me and all people with fashion sense.

:prev: Now let's not get rowdy-owdy up in this joint. Tell us about your artistic side. I can see that you're a bit of an artist, correct?

:ultevil: you could say that yes

:prev: Well...that was certainly a quick answer. Care to expand on that?

:ultevil: well i do try my hand at forms of art such as photography and illustration, i enjoy it and it'll be interesting to see if what others think and to see if anything comes of it

:prev: ...How does it feel to be working with AA and Pod as the NEW heroforce?

:ultevil: its a great honour to work with 2 fantastic artists, AA is a fantastic hero, though he does seem to have some weird kinky thing for bugs, and pod well pod is great but in all honesty if you ever want to survive one of his attack just stand directly in front of him, he'll miss every time

:prev: I had more questions for you...but...

*crowd stares*

:prev: Something about that tissue being stuck to your shoe is a bit distracting so I'm gonna end this short. Say hey to DJ!

*Flesheater watches DJ appear slowly behind prev*

:ultevil: oh, something tells me you'll be speaking to him before i do

:prev: And have a good day, folks! Sorry to Beyonder, we ran out of time...seems to be a trend. ^_^

:ultevil: goodnight everybody

:prev: And now we go to break...and I'm going for a good meal.

*vanishes off the stage*

[the_ultimate_evil]

* the crowd stare at UE and DJ on the stage*

DJ: DISCO

with a reanimated corpse, outrageous

* the two start dancing a full Saturday night fever routine*

* the crowd goes wild*

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

* Meanwhile, though teleported from the stage, The Phantom Eyebrow maintains a watching brief on the proceedings with growing trepidation. *

:eyebrow: :o { What in the name of all that's spectral is Prev doing, giving a platform to so many evil-doers and villains on his show?

* ... he asks himself *