OK, so, first I wanna mention that the AF situation kind of resolved itself (blasted parasprites kept me in) but I don't really want to talk about it (done so enough in RL) so I'd appreciate it if it wasn't mentioned again. I'm here for something else... a need to vent a bit, I guess, about a situation that I've only been peripherally involved in, but that in some ways infuriates me more then my own problems.
So, about a year ago my parents decided that, instead of babysitting little munchkins, they would instead commit to foster care (my mom misses having little ones around, methinks). They had a few girls for about a week, but it's only within the last month or so that they received their first semi-permanent tenant... a little boy about two years old. Now again, I'm only involved peripherally... being in the military I don't really get to go home much. However, I came down I guess a day or so after they got him... and he had huge bruises on the sides of his face, like someone had pinched his cheeks together so hard that they left an impression visible for weeks afterward. When we got him, he also didn't have clothes... His mother claims the hospital "stole them" (because institutions dedicated to caring for the sick and lining their pockets have such need of baby clothes) so my 'rents more or less had to buy their own. This is what we knew to start with, and things have only gotten worse from there. We found out that he's had a history of being smacked by other relatives in the family, that his mother had to go to court due to drug issues, and, oh yeah, every day we take him to supervised visits with mommy he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night due to nightmares. And then five minutes ago I hear the oh so interesting fact that when they checked him out at the hospital the day we took him in, he had bruised ribs on top of the bruises on his face.
Now, again, I'm only peripherally involved here... aside from helping hold him so my parents can do things, or distracting him from causing mischief, I really don't have much personal interaction with him. But I literally had to leave the room when I heard that, I was so upset by it. I'm angry that the mother would do something like that to this child, I'm sad for the child because he's such a sweet kid, and it frustrates me that I can't do anything to stop it, or even to help the kid while I'm here.
If it makes you feel any better, if your parents can do a bit of the job raising him as they've raised you, he's a lucky guy.
You need to get your hands on a copy of the movie Win Win. I think you'd like it.
Your parents best bet right now is to document everything, not only for their best interest, but for the child's as well. Over the years, I've had to file a lot of reports with child services, and the response hasn't always been great. The state will usually try to get the child back with the biological family, and the best way to avoid that is to prove that they are unfit and that the child's safety is in question.
Best of luck to your family, 'Mato. My prayers are with you all during this time.
The fact that he has people like you and your parents who care about him and don't want to see him hurt is a step in the right direction, at least.
Let me agree with pretty much everything that's been said here. Decent people involved in the foster care system is a HUGE blessing. There are a lot of wonderful people pitching in, but there is always a need for more because there are a great many more out there in the world who aren't worth two cents. As to the specific situation you've described...it makes my blood boil, but unfortunately it is anything but rare. I understand your reaction, it's the same I've had to similar experiences and stories. I simply cannot understand how people can treat one another the way they do, but especially their own children. Things like this bring home to me just how broken our world is. They'll have our prayers.
The boy's family makes me despair of humanity, but then again, your family makes me hope, Tomato.
This really hits home for me. I'm a former foster child, and soon to be licensed foster parent.
my heart goes out to you and your family. It sickens me that a "parent" (I'd rather PM my thoughts on the term applied to these people) has the ability or desire to harm a child.
During my life I've encountered people that would take out their anger of the separation of them from the kids, on the kids themselves.
I've been working with abused/traumatized kiddos over twenty years now. The sad truth is that in way too many cases the affects of abuse will have an impact well into the adult years.
The greatest thing in this is that now that little boy has someone (even if just for a little while) that will show him unconditional love, and support.
My prayer is that he be placed in a safe and secure LOVING home, wherever that is.
PM me if there's any way I can help.
I think you and your family are doing good by opening your home and arms to wounded child like this, and my prayers are definitely with you. Ours has become a society that eats its own young. Hopefully, there will be more like you to stand up before we have no society at all.
I agree with just about everything that's been said here. Document what you can, it may be very helpful later on in getting this kid into a better situation. On the plus side, he does have your family, and it sounds like that is very good step in the right direction.
Here's hoping for the best.
Nothing to add, except that I agree with you in prayer and ask that this child be protected along with your own family.
I know several people who could have been helped if they had been taken from their parents and raised by human beings. Sounds like this kid got lucky in having your parents do that for him.