Tomato: Member of the Air Force?

[Tomato]

Hey guys, just wanted to make a thread today to let everyone know what all is going on with me and my life right now, partly because I do want to let those in the community I've roped into working with me know my goings on (speaking of... CQ, If you see this before I get my PM sent, which may be sometime tomorrow... I have some stuff to do today, but when I get the chance I'm going to get everything I currently have organized and sent to you) and because I had a long, long day yesterday and I need to just vent about this entire ridiculous process.

Some of you know by now, at least some of those I've chatted with of late, that I was enlisting in the Air Force (The United States Air Force, for those of you crazies who keep mixing up me and tommy). I have several reasons for the decision, ranging from personal, economic, scholastic, and just a desire to get training with a career field I'm happy with, as opposed to the food-service loop I've been in for several years now. I went in, had a chat with my local recruiter, took the aptitude test (ASVAB I believe, but I'm kinda exhausted right now so don't kill me if I'm wrong) and scored high enough that I basically qualified for any job, baring those that had specific tests for that field.

And then came the bane of my existence: Medical. Prior to this whole process I had considered myself relatively healthy... I'm a bit wiry for my height (158 pounds and about a 6' height) but it's not like I'm in danger of being Steve Rogers frail or anything. But no no, if you had listened to the doctors at the MEPS, I'm liable to just shatter into pieces on the spot.

First thing that happened was that they delayed me for months making me get my paperwork from different doctors concerning my collarbones, which had both been broken in separate incidents prior to 2006. The paperwork spanned three separate Orthopedic places, plus our family doctor, not to mention having to get a note stating that one of them had been broken because we didn't have an initial report of injury (the presumption is I was taken to an emergency room). But I and those in my family persevered, and we got through it.

And then, finally, I actually got the esteemed privilege to be checked out by the MEPS doctors in person. This process involves leaving at 10:30AM via shuttle, being taken to a hotel overnight, and then waking up at 4:30AM to go to MEPS to have the customary physical tests (with the necessary 3+hours of waiting for every 5 minutes of actual work, because things couldn't be dealt with in an efficient manner). My basic checkup revealed that I had a mild case of back acne (which I was told in no uncertain terms was absolutely essential to me being able to leave) but otherwise progressed normally.

But then there was the physical fitness test. For the most part this involves a bunch of stretches and so forth that test your capacity for movement and blah blah. Thing was though, because of a mixture of being tired, lack of preparation, and the fact that I'd given blood not long before, I had an incredibly hard time maintaining balance on one foot. The doctor made me wait until everyone else (which was 30+ people going through eight at a time) had left, then went through it again (the second time having notably better success) and then sent me for the consult or whatever (which was with him, but was done in his office) he told me that my poor balance, far from being due to blood loss, and general lack of leg strength, was of course because I had either an orthopedic or psychological problem.



That's right. According to the doctors who determine whether American men and women are eligible to serve their country, everyone you know who has problems standing on one foot is crazy. Couple that with the fact that other people who had issues were given the exact same answer I had (you must have a bone problem or a mind problem! ZOMG!) and really... stock answer much?

And so, I was disqualified, at least at that point. Most of the last two months have been spent getting me prepared to go back up there... I had consults with navy orthopedists (an entirely different story, suffice it to say that apart from being slightly more flatfooted then the average person, I was 100% fine) I practiced my balance, I was ready to go back and redo the parts that I had been DQed for (For those wondering, general opinion seemed to be that they DQed everyone at least once through the process... Apart from the physical end, several people I talked to mysteriously had heart murmurs that only MEPS seemed to find).

Sunday I went up at 10:30, down to hotel, ready to try again the next day (yesterday, for those keeping score.) 5:30 we leave for MEPS, about 6:30 I get down to the fitness room (which, FYI, is a cold room with tile floors where you are only allowed to wear undergarments) so I can wait an hour before being lumped in with those shipping out. After all the practice, I didn't even go through the previous workout... hardest thing was holding an ankle behind your back. I went to the desk with my paperwork, expecting him to deal with me separately... but no. He looks at my paperwork and says something like "I'm surprised nothing turned up on the orthopedic exam," in a really surly tone... honestly, I felt like he was acting like a five year old whose favorite toy had been given to a younger sibling or something.

Paperwork is copied, I'm sent back to the liaison, and am told that I have to do the interview and such, told to wait in the waiting room. I start waiting at like 8:30, Lunch is served at 11:00, I finally get my interview at 11:30. Sent for paperwork verification from there, once again corrected the mistake I had told them about repeatedly (My name: Jonathon. Their Records after at least two corrections: Jonathan.) Fingerprinted from there, get back to liaison, sent out again to be sworn in. I am sworn in as a member of the US Air Force at 1:30-2:00.

Shuttle from MEPS leaves at 5:00, right into Baltimore rush hour traffic. At 5:24, shuttle gets a call... somebody needs to be picked up from MEPS who wasn't on the roster. We get back, are all searched (none of us having a military ID, not even the shuttle driver) pick the guy up, then stop at a gas station five minutes from there to get some chips and such, because none of us have had diner. Ring Ring, once again, gotta go back to MEPS, another guy is up there taking the aptitude test. We did not leave MEPS until 7:20. I fall asleep during the drive back, but I am finally dropped off at 8:20pm.

However, because I fell asleep, my ride was not able to be there early enough to just pick me up, since I live 20 minutes away. Recruitment office is locked, so I walk down, in the cold (30-something degrees out according ot one sign I saw... not like winter cold, but cold enough) to a 7-11 type store, buy a cup of hot chocolate, and walk back to wait out the rest of my time. I got home sometime shortly after 9:00, tired, frustrated with  the length of time it took to get back, and generally irritated at these crazy people for dragging this out as long as they did.

Ok, rant over now. Gonna go over the forum stuff I've missed the last week or so, then probably get ready for the PT I have to do later today.

[detourne_me]

wow.
so, you're in now?
Congratulations!

[The Phantom Eyebrow]

Congrats Tomato. 

Is it too early to ask will you be Top Gunning or will you be working in some support capacity for the fly-boys?

[Reepicheep]

You can be my wingman any day, Tomato.

[Tomato]

*just got back* As far as my job choice, I doubt I'll be flying any planes... that requires additional medical testing, and after dealing with the hell that is MEPS I'd rather shoot myself then volunteer for any more then I have to. As is, I've put in for several technical jobs, including Computer Security and Networking.

[murs47]

You can be my wingman any day, Tomato.

Thomas, have you considered some moderate weight lifting? It'll increase your muscle density. Obvious, I know. But it will also solidify your bones. Should help shed these MEPS people's perception that you're bound to shatter on the spot. Anyways, best of luck to you.

[The Hitman]

Geez, what a runaround. Anyways, congrats and good luck, buddy!

[detourne_me]

If you ever get stationed in South Korea doing recon or intelligence I could show you around

[Tawodi Osdi]

Congratulations!  And, I would back up the weightlifting with some calcium supplements.

[WyldFyre]

Congratulations Fiery one,
     
     If it makes you feel any better, the army is no better at their medical exams.  (And for me that was almost 25 years ago.)  I had to make three trips, and despite documentation to the contrary, WAS disqualified.  All three times.

     Anyway, I'm glad you finally made it.  I have a friend who served in the Air Force and he loved it.  (Of course he served in Germany, and claims to have drank a LOT of beer.)  Mmmm........ beer!  So again congrats and fair skies.

[Tomato]

Congratulations Fiery one,
     
     If it makes you feel any better, the army is no better at their medical exams.  (And for me that was almost 25 years ago.)  I had to make three trips, and despite documentation to the contrary, WAS disqualified.  All three times.

     Anyway, I'm glad you finally made it.  I have a friend who served in the Air Force and he loved it.  (Of course he served in Germany, and claims to have drank a LOT of beer.)  Mmmm........ beer!  So again congrats and fair skies.

Heh, I think it's not so much that as it is we're all lumped together for medical exams. I spoke to Marines who had been up at MEPS 3+ times before shipping out, and these guys looked like they could crush me with one hand.

[Gremlin]

Congratulations for making it through that rather horrifying ordeal, 'Mato. Best of luck in the Force!

[stumpy]

I'm glad to you persevered. I've met several USAF folks over the years who had a great experience and felt like it really gave them a leg up in life, but they've all mentioned bureaucratic nightmares from time to time.

(I think it may be something inherent in some paperwork jobs in large institutions. Instead of seeing themselves as facilitating your recruitment, they see themselves as obstacles you should have to overcome, even when there's really no problem. Of course, there are surly and unhelpful people in any organization, but government bureaucrats can be the worst because they know that, basically, there is no chance they will be fired for being jerks. There's something similar at play with all the inefficiency and waiting around you had to do: There's little effort to streamline the process because there's little incentive to make the recruits happy. No one who works there is going to get a promotion by redesigning the system to be more efficient and making the customer's experience more pleasant.)

Anyway, congratulations, recruit!

[Glitch Girl]

Congratulations and here's hoping the rest of the process is a lot less painful.    Be careful as well.

[Alaric]

Congratulations, and best of luck!

[JeyNyce]

CONGRATS!!

It reminds me when I wanted to join the Air Force.  I was sworn in and everything and somebody asked me why I joined and I told them that I want to fly planes.  He looked at me and said: "Son, you're too damn tall to fit in a plane"  (I'm 6'6").  Because of that I was let go of the Air Force because I joined under false pretense.  I believe the recruiter got in trouble for that because I haven't seen him since.

Anyway I'm very happy for you

[Tomato]

Just a quickie update for you guys: My ship date is coming up real soon (the 19th) so I only have a limited time here before I have to take a 8 week hiatus from you guys... I have to say, it feels weird. *shrug* Oh well, I'll be back after basic, and it's not like I'll miss the majority of you guys. 

[Xenolith]

If you end up at Offutt AFB in Nebraska I'll buy you a cold one, assuming your are of age, or show you where all the comic shops are around town. 

Good luck!

[Panther_Gunn]

So, what AFSC did you end up with?  Please tell me that you're going in with a guaranteed job, and not that you got conned into signing up for Open anything.  Granted this is from a rather personal slant, but you're better off with any 2E job than a 3C.  But that's just me.

If you end up at Offutt AFB in Nebraska I'll buy you a cold one, assuming your are of age, or show you where all the comic shops are around town.

Why would you even put that kind of jinx on him?  Awful Offut??  That's almost as bad as No-Hope Pope, but still nowhere near as bad as Minot (the "best kept secret in the AF", but only because it's the worst assignment you'll ever have!).

[deano_ue]

good luck mate and be careful

[Zivon23]

Tom,

Congrats on getting in.  Just be glad you didn't go into the Marine Corps(You would have been dqed for being too skinny)  If the Air Force is even remotely like the Marine Corps, the "hurry up and wait" phrase will be a standard.    I am glad you got in.  Some of the best times I ever had in life was when I was in the Marines. 

Semper Fi

~Z23~

[cmdrkoenig67]

Hey Congratulations, Tomato!

Dana

[Blkcasanova247]

Congrats man!

[crimsonquill]

Congrats Tomato! 

I'm an Air Force brat and have spent most of my life moving from one Air Force base to another.. and I still have so many interesting memories that I probably would do it all over again if I could. Heck, I'd probably would have been a pilot if it wasn't for my crappy eyesight. Heck, I still manage to visit the air shows at the local base every year when I get the chance.

- CQ

[MikeB7]

Good luck, man.   

[Mr. Hamrick]

Congrats Tomato! 

I'm an Air Force brat and have spent most of my life moving from one Air Force base to another.. and I still have so many interesting memories that I probably would do it all over again if I could. Heck, I'd probably would have been a pilot if it wasn't for my crappy eyesight. Heck, I still manage to visit the air shows at the local base every year when I get the chance.

- CQ

Air Force brat?  Well, that explains a lot...

heh heh.  Go Navy!  (Granted, I couldn't get in to any of them because of medical issues.  Oh well!)

[murs47]

Thomas, I will miss your unprovoked rampages.

*waits for goodbye hug*

[deano_ue]

*hugs murs*

ohh you meant him

[Previsionary]

Gravy, UE... you work fast. Throwing yourself at Murs. Have some pride in yourself, yo. Tom, I'm upset that you're leaving me with these two. I'll never forgive you.

[Tomato]

I'm upset that you're leaving me with these two. I'll never forgive you.

'tis my goal in life.