The worst movie you ever saw... Necroposting

[Ouflah]

To be fair, I did get some enjoyment from watching Dune. Specifically, this line has become a running joke in my family, except since none of us can pronounce "Kwisatz Haderach," we just swapped that out for "Cheese Danish."

[spydermann93]

Pointing out that Manos: The Hands of Fate is bad is kind of like saying that the sky is blue.

Good! We're in agreement, then

I know it's kind of cheating to give that answer, but it is the worst movie that I have ever seen.

Just in the Rifftrax films we've seen recently, Samurai Cop and R.O.T.O.R. were both just unbelievably bad, hysterically, die-from-laughing kind of bad.  But what else would you expect from such a movie.  There badness is practically transcendent.

My family and I just saw that Samurai Cop Rifftrax last week. Hilarious! It was the perfect blend of horrendously cheesy, being way too serious with itself, and hilarious dialog. Such a fun movie to watch, made all the better by the goldies from MST3K.

Also, have you seen the Titanic (yes, the famous one) Rifftrax, Benton? That was pretty great, too. Oh, and Saviors of the Lost Universe is good too, if you like D&D-type stories. Cheesey and goofy, but somewhat endearing.

Of course, other movies mentioned here are undoubtedly objectively worse, like Battlefield: Earth and the '98 Godzilla, but there's something about 'from those to whom much is given, much is expected' about this question for me.

Oh, God! I forgot about that one! I think my brain physically erased that movie from my memory to spare me the pain. Oh, it hurts!

To be fair, I did get some enjoyment from watching Dune. Specifically, this line has become a running joke in my family, except since none of us can pronounce "Kwisatz Haderach," we just swapped that out for "Cheese Danish."

Oh, that's easy. It's pronounced "Kwisatz" and "Haderach". See? Easy!

[BentonGrey]

Haha, it's a completely legitimate choice, Spyder.  It is a really, truly terrible movie. 

We loved Prisoners of the Lost Universe!  The Green Man who was actually blue and all the other ridiculous absurdity of that movie was great.

We haven't seen the Titanic one.  We tend not to do the 'just the riffs' ones for logistical reasons.

It's easy to understand how your brain might erase Battlefield: Earth.  Mine had too until I saw it mentioned in this thread! 

[spydermann93]

Haha, it's a completely legitimate choice, Spyder.  It is a really, truly terrible movie. 

We loved Prisoners of the Lost Universe!  The Green Man who was actually blue and all the other ridiculous absurdity of that movie was great.

We haven't seen the Titanic one.  We tend not to do the 'just the riffs' ones for logistical reasons.

It's easy to understand how your brain might erase Battlefield: Earth.  Mine had too until I saw it mentioned in this thread! 

Was it Prisoners? Cuz that sounds exactly like the one I saw! I was like "Is he green? Dad, is he green or am I color blind? Nah, he's blue." I almost died with the army of Palpatines, haha

And yeah, I get what you're saying about "just the riffs". The all-in-ones are pretty convient

[BentonGrey]

Yeah, I looked it up to figure out if the guy was green but called blue or blue but called green.  Haha!  Ohh man, I forgot the army of Plapatines!  That was a great bit!

[SickAlice]

I thought on it a little and I think at least for 2016 Nine Lives took it for me. I started playing with my bootlaces and such out of boredom. As a rule Kevin Spacey can usually save anything but not that one. Worst I ever paid for at the theater was Monkey Trouble. My friend and I ended up playing with a deck of cards on the floor by the lights. I grant myself the excuse that I was taking kids to that one though.

The live action Guyver movie sticks out as one with a budget that just...eesh. Some people have a special place for that one, I know. Much like I have a special place for Garbage Pail Kids The Movie but I won't front on behalf of that and say it was nicely done either. Though that had about as much going in for it as Ghoulies Go to College did so the bar wasn't really set high to begin with either.

[Deaths Jester]

Since I forgot them, most movie versions of D+D have stunk horrendously as did the Dungeon Siege movie.

[HarryTrotter]

Uwe Boll,that all Im going to say.
Thou,Far Cry was pretty hilarious.Hilariocity,as Stuckmann would say.

[Glitch Girl]

Since I forgot them, most movie versions of D+D have stunk horrendously as did the Dungeon Siege movie.

Oh I forgot about the D&D movie back in 2000.  I literally felt dumber after it was all over.  Even chewing the scenery like a fine steak Jeremy Irons couldn't save that fil.  Unfortunately, one of my friends couldn't get over the guy in the blue lipstick and brought it up for months... nay YEARS later. 

[BWPS]

I know its a sacred cow for some people,but the book wasn't that great either.Its a colonial narrative with some uncomfortable real life parallels,at best.
It did produce some great RTS games,but the credit goes to people at Westwood there.

I hate you. Here's an emoticon so this comment seems tongue in cheek: 


I don't know if anyone remembers a company called Moonbeam Entertainment but they made direct to video fantasy movies for kids and they're just so cringe-inducing. My dad rented us one once and even as kids we had a very visceral reaction. So of course he kept renting them just to troll us. Prehysteria!, Dragonworld, Beanstalk, Josh Kirby Time Warrior, just really awful acting and effects in all of them.

[Panther_Gunn]

Since I forgot them, most movie versions of D+D have stunk horrendously as did the Dungeon Siege movie.

Oh I forgot about the D&D movie back in 2000.  I literally felt dumber after it was all over.  Even chewing the scenery like a fine steak Jeremy Irons couldn't save that fil.  Unfortunately, one of my friends couldn't get over the guy in the blue lipstick and brought it up for months... nay YEARS later.

I can never forget.  It was like my 'Nam.

I was the only sane one in our gaming group.  I knew it was going to be a trainwreck, but the rest of the group practically dragged me to see it with them.  At least I had the satisfaction of the "I told you so"s when it was over.  I still wonder just how much of Gary Gygax's soul curdled every time that aired.

My first entry to this lovely subject, aside from the obvious D&D, Matthew Broderick "Godzilla", and Battlefield Earth, is Tom Cruise's War of the Worlds.  Such a huge budget and potential wasted on such a sub-par and mediocre storyline (if it can even be called that).  It would have been better off it they had called it something else unrelated to the original (much like D&D and Godzilla).  At least none of them would have crushed expectations that way.

I'd also like to add to the list the film version of the play Cats.  That's a chunk of my life I'll never get back.  I couldn't give a rat's patootie about the skill of the singing and/or dancing, but if you're going to drape that talent around a story, at least make it intelligible and engaging.  It was completely vapid and without merit, and it felt like listening to Enya trying to sing like Celine Dion.  Have I mentioned that I didn't like it?

[kkhohoho]

I'd also like to add to the list the film version of the play Cats.  That's a chunk of my life I'll never get back.  I couldn't give a rat's patootie about the skill of the singing and/or dancing, but if you're going to drape that talent around a story, at least make it intelligible and engaging.  It was completely vapid and without merit, and it felt like listening to Enya trying to sing like Celine Dion.  Have I mentioned that I didn't like it?

...I liked it.

[daglob]

We all have our guilty pleasures...

[kkhohoho]

We all have our guilty pleasures...

No, seriously, I thought it was a genuinely good movie. No 'guilty' to be had; just pure pleasure. It had good characters, great music, and a really nice atmosphere. It was kind of magical. It may not have had much of a plot, but the plot wasn't the point. It was just a wonderfully enchanting time, and there's nothing wrong with that. Then again, this is coming from a Theater major, so I may be more than a bit biased.

[HarryTrotter]

I know its a sacred cow for some people,but the book wasn't that great either.Its a colonial narrative with some uncomfortable real life parallels,at best.
It did produce some great RTS games,but the credit goes to people at Westwood there.

I hate you.

You have the right.But the only good part of the franchise were the RTS games,and that stands.

[Shogunn2517]

So I've heard some say some movies are "so bad they become comedy."

But there's on ONE movie that is so GOD-FREAKING detestable that it makes me want to punch my TV.

Troll 2

Okay, I know what some may think. "Well, the originally Troll was just as bad if not worse." No.  Original troll had Michael Moriaty(Law and Order), Jenny Beck(Star Child from V) and Sonny Bono, Julia Louie-Dryfus, Noah Hathaway(Atreyu from NeverEnding Story) and his name was Harry Potter.  Richard Band did a kick arse job composing, as he did with practically anything he touched in the 1980s.  Plus, I saw it when I was like 5 and everything STAYS awesome when you see it at that age.

Troll 2 however was ESPECIALLY dreadful.  It look like someone paid money to ruin that movie.  And that money was used for the films budget, which had to be no more than 100 bucks.  I don't even think I made it through.  I had to give it a chance because it was afterall a sequel to something I held dear to my heart, but that was the Stupidest. Movie. Ever. Period.  Of all time.

[kkhohoho]

So I've heard some say some movies are "so bad they become comedy."

But there's on ONE movie that is so GOD-FREAKING detestable that it makes me want to punch my TV.

Troll 2

Okay, I know what some may think. "Well, the originally Troll was just as bad if not worse." No.  Original troll had Michael Moriaty(Law and Order), Jenny Beck(Star Child from V) and Sonny Bono, Julia Louie-Dryfus, Noah Hathaway(Atreyu from NeverEnding Story) and his name was Harry Potter.  Richard Band did a kick arse job composing, as he did with practically anything he touched in the 1980s.  Plus, I saw it when I was like 5 and everything STAYS awesome when you see it at that age.

Troll 2 however was ESPECIALLY dreadful.  It look like someone paid money to ruin that movie.  And that money was used for the films budget, which had to be no more than 100 bucks.  I don't even think I made it through.  I had to give it a chance because it was afterall a sequel to something I held dear to my heart, but that was the Stupidest. Movie. Ever. Period.  Of all time.

Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOO--

[GhostMachine]

NEON DEMON

I'm thoroughly convinced that everyone who created the movie (writer, director, producers, camera man, etc) were all on drugs....or needed to be...and that all the actors either owed favors or really needed the money. What's worse is that Keanu Reeves is in it briefly. (He's in about 2 or 3 scenes, but they're short. I doubt he's in it more than 5 minutes total, if that.)

Uwe Boll looks like a frickin' genius compared to the people behind this movie. It has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, other than having a few very attractive actresses in it. Anyone involved would be wise to leave this stinker off their resume, and even an MST3K treatment wouldn't make it worth checking out. (Seriously. If the new version of MST3K coming to Netflix ever does this film, I'll skip that episode. Its THAT bad.)

[kkhohoho]

What's worse is that Keanu Reeves is in it briefly. (He's in about 2 or 3 scenes, but they're short. I doubt he's in it more than 5 minutes total, if that.)

Whoa.

[HarryTrotter]

Something I forgot to mention,Conan,the 2011. version.What a CGI cr@pfest.Its like watching somebody else play a very stupid video game.

[spydermann93]

Yeah... it wasn't too great. I actually completely forgot about it until you mentioned it just now.

[daglob]

I had forgotten a real rotter, The Man Who Fell to Earth, but its' coming on Comet tonight reminded me. While it has pretty much the same plot as the book, it is the lousiest adaptation of any kind I have ever seen. Only the absolute lack of any kind of competency makes me dislike Curse of the Swamp Creature more. Nicholas Roeg, after all, could take pretty pictures. Then again, the same could be said for Raymond Dennis Steckler...

[kkhohoho]

So I'm probably the only person on this whole darn board who's seen this one, but other than GitS, Awakening of the Trailblazer has to be one of the worst anime movies I've ever seen. (Hence why most people on this board had never seen it, what with it being an anime and all.) It's the movie for Gundam 00, a series that aired back in the late Early Oughties, and while it was far from perfect, (the second half especially,) it was still leagues better than this. I'm sure everyone has a perfectly decent series of some sort they've seen that ends up completely nuking itself by the end, and the 00 movie does just that. While it's well animated and has a pretty nice soundtrack all things considered, the story is is bland and banal as all hell, and if it's ever interesting, it's for all the wrong reasons.

But the movie really shoots itself in the foot in the ending. Long story short, it tries to shove its' message of understanding being a panacea to solving all of mankinds' ills and that violence is never the answer down our collective throats; nevermind that in the actual show, (where they still started to lean towards that particular message by the end, but whatever,) violence turned out to be the freaking answer. Most Gundam shows tell you that while understanding can promote or even ensure peace, it can just as easily make things even worse. After all, if two people just happen to hate each other, understanding why they both hate one another might just make them hate each other all the more, as the franchise has pointed out on more than once occasion. If worst comes to worst, as it often can, you need to be willing to fight, even if only as a last resort. So to attempt to plant this rainbow-coated message of peace and understanding being a be-all end-all solution despite the very franchise it belongs to having made it very clear that this isn't the case is nothing short of rage-inducing idiocy. And they also killed off more than one character completely pointlessly, which more or less destroyed any possible good will the film may or may not have had left. In short, this movie can go jump in Cleveland's fiery waters of hell for all I care. (No, seriously. Cleveland's river has been on freaking fire. Several times. Go look it up.)

[daglob]

Cuyahoga.

[Panther_Gunn]

I'm sure everyone has a perfectly decent series of some sort they've seen that ends up completely nuking itself by the end

Hmmmm....that sounds an awful lot like what CN did to Teen Titans with Teen Titans Go.

[HarryTrotter]

Yeah,Awakening of the Trailblazer was kinda pointless.What most fans hold against it however,were aliens.Never before,or after,have there been aliens present in the whole franchise.Except that space whale fossil in SEED,but thats a different story.

[kkhohoho]

Yeah,Awakening of the Trailblazer was kinda pointless.What most fans hold against it however,were aliens.Never before,or after,have there been aliens present in the whole franchise.Except that space whale fossil in SEED,but thats a different story.

First off, I have to say, I am SO happy that I am not the only person on this board who actually watches anime, much less Gundam. You sir have made my day.

Anyhoo, no, the aliens weren't my problem with it. (Mostly.) I thought they were actually pretty well-handled, or at least much better than they could have been. They were alluded and built up to a number of times in the series proper ('the dialogues to come'), and when they actually showed, they weren't fully sentient alien invaders in spacesuits and rayguns like out of, say, nearly any other mech show with aliens. They were completely alien and nigh-incomprehensible, and presented with the sort of realism (or as much realism as one could expect from aliens, or from a franchise that stars psychic mech-wielding children on a regular basis,) that permeats the rest of the franchise. No, the problems were the fact that the movie was just so pointless, and that it completely shot itself in the foot by the end. That said, there was one little (okay, huge,) issue I had with the aliens, which was all of them turning into a giant freaking space-flower in the last five minutes. All that did was make the film's 'message', and in turn its' ending, even stupider than it already was, and that's saying a lot.

Cuyahoga.

...Wut?

[HarryTrotter]

I didn't have that much of a problem with aliens either,but I know plenty of people who did.00 was never really my favorite so I cant really muster any strong feelings for the movie.Aaaaaaand there were sadly a lot worst things in the franchise then AoT.As hard it is for me to pick the highest point(Zeta),its also hard to pick its nadir.SEED Destiny?AGE?Reconguista?So many choices...

[daglob]

Kkhohoho: the Cuyahoga River catches fire every once in awhile. Back in the '6os, anyway. REM did a song.

[Deaths Jester]

Kkhohoho: the Cuyahoga River catches fire every once in awhile. Back in the '6os, anyway. REM did a song.

It still does on occasion...mainly due to the amount of pollution in in.  IF someone were to get a match near Boston Harbor the same would probably happen...